Damage Control
by purplelollipops4
Summary: Melissa Crawford's parents are killed by Death Eaters, and her world starts to fall apart. When Bellatrix threatens the remaining people Melissa loves, she takes drastic action. Her friends refuse to leave her, so she cuts ties with the one person who typically has no choice but to accept it: her boyfriend, Sirius Black. But since when has Sirius been typical, or accepting?
1. The Break-Up

"Melissa Crawford, you have exactly ten seconds to get out of that bed before I soak you. We'll miss the train! C'mon! Ten, nine, eight, seven-" "I'm-ouch-up", I groaned, rubbing my back as I lay on the floor. Bloody Marlene McKinnon, too bloody eager to go back to bloody Hogwarts. I know what you're thinking, I say 'bloody' far too much. How bad can going back to my wizarding school really be, you ask? The answer, is very.

"Lissa!", Marlene shouted, poking me in the side with her foot. "Get dressed! I know it's hardly been the best Christmas break, but lying on my bedroom floor all day won't change that!" Oh there was more, I just sort of tuned it out. _'I know it's hardly been the best Christmas break…' _Indeed it had not. Everything, everything except Marlene McKinnon, Lily Evans, Alice Prewett, Emmeline Vance and Mary McDonald, was gone. They were literally all I had left, and going back to Hogwarts would only remind me what I'd lost, or rather given up.

**20****th**** December 1976**

_It was only a few days 'til Christmas Day, and I was at home with my family. Sixth year at Hogwarts was very demanding, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I had the five best friends in the entire world, I was Gryffindor Seeker, and I had the best boyfriend one could ask for, Sirius Black. Sirius was perfect- caring and sweet, the perfect gentleman without being overbearing. He was, of course, still his typical arrogant self, but he was always very sweet to me. My friends were delighted for me, although Lily was furious that I insisted we hang out with Sirius and his friends. She had a slight aversion to what she called _'pig-headed, arrogant audacity and the human personification of a marked hatred of school rules', _or in other words, Sirius black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Remus Lupin, the fourth member of the group, had been deemed tolerable, due to his being Lily's fellow prefect._

_I shook my head to clear it of thoughts of my perfect sweet boyfriend and ran into the sitting room where my family was waiting for me to start our traditional Christmas Break Chess Tournament. "Hurry up, Lissa! We wanna start sometime today!" I laughed. "I'm here, DJ, relax."_

_My parents, Daniel and Melissa Crawford, were both wizards, although of differing blood status. My father was a Pureblood and my mother a Half-blood, making me a Half-blood, of mixed Muggle and Wizarding heritage. My brother Daniel James, DJ to me, named after our father as I was named after our mother, was twenty-one, five years older than my sixteen, and was currently studying to be an Auror. Everyone was constantly telling me that DJ and I looked alike, but I just didn't see it. I was small and slight, with very fair freckled skin, which was just a nicer way of saying near deathly pale. My long, wavy hair was a dark brown and my eyes were a rather startling green, and I had the general look of a fragile baby bird. DJ however, had dirty blond hair, our mother's more sallow skin tone, and pale baby-blue eyes. Apparently we had the same nose, or something equally as waffley._

"_Okay, DJ", I said with an evil grin as I sat down at the table with him behind my white pieces, "I'm'a kick your ass!" He snorted, and my parents laughed, but I was deadly serious. DJ had beaten me every year since I'd learned to play at three, and I was determined that this was my year. I _would_ win. _

_An hour later, I was victorious. "YES!", I screamed, jumping out of my seat, ignoring my family's protests as they covered their ears. I was a very exuberant person, and you'd think they'd be used to it after sixteen years. After several more minutes of loud and hyper celebration on my part, we moved into the dining room for dinner, Mom's delicious chicken casserole._

_We ate slowly, talking and laughing as DJ and I told stories about Hogwarts and the Auror Department. I told my parents about Sirius and I for the first time that night. My mom was so happy, telling me that Sirius was _"a charming, good-looking young man". _My father was slightly less delighted, because he was an Auror who regularly dealt with Sirius' cousins, the Blacks, Lestranges and Malfoys. He eventually came round, however, after my mom's repeated input that I could do a lot worse. I could be going out with Sirius' younger brother, Regulus, a regular future little Death Eater if I'd ever seen one. DJ, who had known since I'd written to him to tell him about our first date two months ago, had finally stopped threatening to rip Sirius apart a week ago, but just in case I didn't press him for his opinion again._

_DJ told us about how he and his fellow trainee Auror, Jonathon McKinnon (Marlene's cousin) had blown up their mentor Mad-Eye Moody's desk. Apparently he'd yelled for a solid half-hour about an attempt on his life by the Death Eaters, and had insisted the entire Ministry be put on lock-down for a solid two hours, the exact amount of time it had taken him to find DJ and Jonathon shaking with laughter in a broom closet. "We had to clean his eye twice a day for the next month and a half, but it was totally worth it. Jonathon fainted the first time he picked up the blasted eye though, said he could feel it looking at him. I mean, what did he expect? It's a bloody eye!"_

_My father, an Auror himself and colleague of Moody's, had tried unsuccessfully to maintain a stern expression, but failed miserably and was soon laughing along with the rest of us. I piped in with tales of the Marauders latest pranks and Lily's reactions to the last five times James had asked her out. "Did she really turn his butt into a pumpkin?", Mom asked, wiping the tears from her eyes and clutching at her ribs. "Oh yeah! Then there was this one time when Sirius turned Flitwick's chair into…"_

_I trailed off as the sharp pops of people Apparating came from outside. Dad turned to us, face drawn and white. "Wands out, guys. You won't be able to Apparate inside the house with the charm, so you have to get outside, if the house isn't surrounded, that is. Stay behind me." No sooner had he said this than the front door was kicked down. Six masked Death Eaters strode into our house, kicking open the living room door, looking for us. Hiding under the dining room table, my dad raised his finger to his lips, telling us to be quiet. _

_As the Death Eaters footsteps neared us, Mom and Dad pulled DJ and I into a group hug. "I love you, Danny, Lissa", my dad whispered. "No matter what happens", Mom added. I was sick with dread and fear. The Death Eaters burst into the room, wands raised. DJ was first to react. "STUPIFY!" The jet of red light took out one of our opponents, but revealed our positions. "EXPELLIARMUS!", shouted the remaining Death Eaters. Before we could react, our wands had flown out of our hands and we were being jerked out from under the table with a non-verbal spell._

"_Daniel Crawford?", grunted one of the Death Eaters. When he didn't get his answer, he flicked his wand. There was a sharp crack, and Dad was grunting in pain. Unable to get up, I glanced over at him to see him bleeding heavily from a cut above his right eye. "Crawford?", repeated the same voice. This time my dad nodded, struggling to move, but to no avail. They had obviously immobilized us with some sort of hex._

"_And this filthy Mudblood, I presume, is your wife?", the same Death Eater asked. "Don't. Call. My. Wife. That", grunted my dad. Then came a thud and a groan, as he was kicked hard in the ribs. "And the lovely little Half-breeds, I presume? Danny and Melissa?", hissed a vaguely familiar and definitely feminine voice. Craning my neck, I got a look at the Death Eater in question. Although the mask obscured her face, her hair was long and wild, the same black as Sirius'. "Bellatrix Black", my brother hissed, voicing my thoughts._

_Bellatrix cackled. "Miss me, Danny boy?" She had been in the year above DJ at Hogwarts, a Slytherin to his Gryffindor. From what I'd heard, she had been DJ'S No. 1 enemy, second only to the loathsome Lucius Malfoy. Seems like she'd remembered him, as he had her._

"_STOOOPPPPP!", my father screamed for the nth time as Bellatrix Black and who I suspected to be her brother-in-law, Lucius Malfoy, used the Cruciatus Curse on him again. Two of DJ's great schoolboy enemies and my dad's most sought after criminals were torturing us all, one after the other. They had tortured my mother first, and she had borne it with only the occasional yelp of agony. My dad, however, was on his tenth round of the curse and was beginning to break. He had long passed the limit of the pain any human being could stand. My mother whimpered softly, and my entire body shook with sobs of sympathy for my father fear for myself._

_Finally Lucius and Bellatrix dropped their wands and released my father from the curse. For the briefest of moments, we almost breathed a collective sigh of relief, thinking that it would that they would just kill us, that it would be over now. Then another two Death Eaters stepped forward to stand over me as Lucius and Bellatrix stood by DJ. "Please", begged my mother desperately. "Not the children. Please, please, leave my children alone!"_

_My mother begged in vain. "CRUCIO", the Death Eaters shouted, shooting the ice-blue jets at DJ and me. The pain was instant and unbearable, like a white-hot fire burning on every inch of my body as I was simultaneously stabbed with a thousand flaming needles. I screamed until my throat was bloody and raw, my screams mingling with those of my brother and the cries of my mother, and still they did not stop. The torture went on for what seemed like a lifetime until finally, the burning ceased and my bruised body hit the ground with a thud that knocked the breath out of me. DJ fell next to me, his head hitting the ground with a sickening crack that somehow failed to knock him out._

_Craning my neck against the pain, I saw my brother's white, clenched face, slick with sweat. As I watched, Bellatrix Black drew back her boot and kicked him hard in the ribs, eliciting only a pained grunt. "Had enough yet, Danny boy? Maybe we should have another go at your sister or your parents? I certainly think dear little mommy could take another round, don't you? Well, Danny boy? What do you think? C'mon, don't be shy!"_

"_Fuck. You", grunted DJ, closing his pale blue eyes tightly against the pain. "That's what I was afraid of, Danny boy. Maybe your sister will get it right. CRUCIO!" The pain washed over me again, I was being stabbed with a thousand white-hot knives, I was drowning in molten lava. "NO, NO, STOP IT!", yelled DJ desperately. For a solid five minutes, they did not stop. When they did, I was in so much pain that I was in danger of blacking out._

_My mother, probably half-dead like my father, had long stopped crying for us, her body simply unable to take it, she and my dad had blacked out and lay unconscious on the floor in a pool of blood that was spreading towards me. My body was wracked with pain as I cried for my family and myself. "Well, Melissa? Do you think mommy and daddy could go another round?" She kicked me hard in the side as she taunted me, but apart from a small moan I refused to answer. _

"_Very well then." DJ and I lay on the floor, immobile, as the dread built up inside of us. Finally, the Death Eaters cast their final spells. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" Jets of green light shot over us towards our parents, who were dead the moment the spell hit them. I cried for them, soft rasping sobs that caught in my chest and weighed down on my heart. My parents were gone, dead._

"_Sad, little Lissa? Well these won't be the last you'll lose. Your father's meddling actions along with the rest of that bloody Auror Office has cost us family and friends, dead or in Azkaban. And I'll make sure you and Danny boy suffer as we have. Dear Cousin Regulus tells me you're going out with my cousin Sirius. Sirius, that blood-traitor Potter boy, and the Mudblood Evans girl. Anyone else? I think I might just kill them all, slowly and painfully. Let's leave you with that. It's not a threat, by the way, it's a promise. Tell Sirius hello for me, will you?"_

_With that the Death Eaters left, leaving DJ and I lying in a pool of our dead parent's blood, where we remained until the St Mungo's emergency team arrived, many hours later. _

"Lissa!" My head snapped up from the floor, my body shaking with sobs as tears flowed down my face like a river. Marlene's face softened immediately. I'd been staying with the McKinnons since my release from St Mungo's a few days ago, and Marlene had been great with everything, writing to the other girls for me. I had no idea where DJ had gone after his discharge.

"Were you thinking about your parents, Lissa?" Marlene asked softly, patting my shoulder gently. I nodded. "All the screaming… I can still hear it, Marlene. Now do you understand why I had to break up with Sirius? Even if Bellatrix had threatened to kill him, James and Lily, I'd still ruin his life. It's better to just let him go so that he won't have to deal with any of this", I explained, waving my hand over my half-healed body. I was bruised all over, padded out with bandages, and scarred in a million places, not least on my heart and mind.

Marlene sighed and shook her head. "I understand why you would come to that conclusion, Liss, but I still think you're wrong. Sirius doesn't think that way. I think he must have received about a billion death threats from his family since he left home last year, so one more wouldn't bother him. And he really cares about you, he'd _want_ to help you."

I shook my head, wiping my tears and standing up. I grabbed my jeans and a t-shirt and went to change in the bathroom. I couldn't take Marlene's calm, logical reasoning at the moment. Ever since I'd sent Sirius the letter telling him we were over, not giving any particular reason or even mentioning the attack, Marlene had been trying to convince me that it had been the wrong decision.

Taking a quick shower, I pulled on my clothes and shoes. With a quick drying charm on my hair and brushing my teeth, I was ready to go. After the flashback I'd just experienced, I highly doubted I'd be able to keep down any breakfast this morning.

Dragging my trunk downstairs, I followed Marlene's impatient calls to the front hall, where she was waiting with her father, who was wearing the same pitiful expression he'd used whenever he'd looked at me for the last few days.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back, Melissa? There's no shame in not being able to face it yet, and you'd be more than welcome to stay here for a while longer", said Mr. McKinnon kindly. I shook my head and flashed him a small smile. "Thanks, Mr. McKinnon, but I'd rather try and get back to normal as much as I can. Thank you for your concern, though."

"Yes, well… C'mon, girls, or we'll be late to King's Cross. Hurry now!" ordered Mr. McKinnon. Happy to no longer have the attention on me, I joined Marlene in dragging out our trunks to the family car, a large battered Station Wagon. We both slid into the back seat and settled in for the long ride from the McKinnons' Scotland home down to London. It was freaking 5 am!

§ § § § §

We finally arrived at Kings Cross about fifteen minutes before the train left. Dragging our trunks onto a trolley, Marlene and I said goodbye to her dad and said off for Platform 9¾. I was praying hard that we wouldn't meet any of the Marauders on the platform; I just couldn't face them right now. Ever since I'd broken up with Sirius a week ago, I'd been bombarded with letters from James, Remus and Peter. Sirius himself hadn't written, but according to James he was really cut up about it. I highly doubted that- I'm sure Sirius had cared some bit, but he was SIRIUS BLACK, Gryffindor sex-god. He'd bounce back; probably find a new girlfriend in under a week.

I only wished that I could tell him about what had happened, what Bellatrix had said, and then maybe he might understand. But since my father had been such a high-profile Auror and still been unable to fend off a group of Death Eaters, then nobody could, and the Ministry didn't want people thinking that. Only a select few at the Ministry knew, as well as the McKinnons and my girlfriends. I would never, ever tell Sirius. I didn't want his pity. I could take it from anyone else, but not him. He would never see me at my worst; my pride just wouldn't allow it.

I wondered what he'd tell people. That I hated him, or that I cheated, or for 'personal' reasons? One way or another I just didn't care, not any more. I had far bigger problems than the gossipmongers at school, like making sure that Bellatrix Lestrange didn't carry through on her threat to kill my friends, or trying my best to avoid having a breakdown. Not that I'm totally sure I can actually do anything about either of my priorities.

"Hurry _up_, Lissa, we're gonna miss the train! Move your butt!" hissed Marlene, yanking on my hand. I tried my best not to wince- that hand was bruised pretty badly and I had a smarting cut on my palm. Turns out that for all its magical medical marvels, St Mungo's cannot heal curse injuries, which is a pity, because I'm covered in them from almost head to toe. I say almost because I think Bellatrix missed a spot on the bottom of my heel. It's kind of hard to get a look at that, though.

We practically sprinted through the barrier, Marlene pulling on my hand so hard and running so fast that I was almost on my knees. The second we crossed onto Platform 9¾, I was assaulted by the multitudes of pushing, shoving, screaming people. Breathing hard and keeping my eyes squeezed tightly shut, I let Marlene pull me through the crowd. As we got closer to the train the crowd became less dense. Tentatively, I opened my eyes. Marlene had slowed down considerably and was struggling with the trolley containing our two trunks, no longer spurred on by her manic inability to be late as she saw that she clearly wasn't.

Trying my best to be inconspicuous, I glanced around looking for familiar faces. And then I froze, stopping in my tracks. Marlene, still grasping my hand, ground to a halt as well. "What is it, Liss?" she asked impatiently. I nodded my head, indicating what _it_ was. Marlene followed my line of sight. I could tell when she spotted, because her breath caught in her throat rather dramatically. I would have laughed at her if this had been any normal situation, but this was far from it. I had to get out of here, now.

"It's S-Sirius, Liss", choked Marlene, apparently recovered. Indeed it was. Half of the infamous Marauders- James Potter, Quidditch extraordinaire, was standing with his best friend and my ex-boyfriend, Sirius Black. Sirius was leaning against the scarlet body of the train, hands shoved into his pockets as he kept his stony gaze fixed downwards. Beside him, James had given up all attempts at communication and had started talking to Jonathon Bell, a fellow sixth year Gryffindor. Just as I was staring at the side of Sirius head, trying to figure out why he would have left his usually sleek black hair go wild and messy, his head turned in my direction.

His grey eyes caught mine and held them captive, full of some foreign emotion, mixed with copious amounts of anger and exhaustion. It was only then that I noticed the rest of him. His lightly tanned face was pale and drawn, his robes and hair disheveled, and he had prominent purple bags under his eyes. I was shocked- in all the years that I had known Sirius Black, I had never seen him so… _vulnerable_ looking, and that killed me. I just wanted to run over there and hug him tightly, but I restrained myself. That was _not_ an option. I had to remember why I was doing this. For Sirius.

"You okay, Liss?" asked Marlene softly, squeezing my hand. Taking a deep breath, I nodded and tore my eyes from Sirius'. "Let's just get on the train", I murmured softly, pulling my trunk off the train and dragging it onboard. A second later I heard Marlene follow me.

§ § § § §

"So remind me again, Liss, why did you break up with him?" asked an incredulous Alice. I sighed. We had been on the train for almost five hours, and my friends had been talking non-stop since we'd left London. We'd already gotten past the awkward condolences about my parents and a vanished DJ, and moved on to the less sensitive topic of discussing my break-up with Sirius. Lily had told me she was sorry we'd broken up, and I could tell she was genuinely sorry that it had upset me, but I could also tell that she wasn't exactly devastated that she would no longer have to spend time with the Marauders. Marlene and Mary, along with Lily's attempts, were taking the easy road of neutrality. Emmeline and Alice however, agog over why on earth I'd break up with Sirius without at least giving him a good reason, had spent the last two hours trying to convince me to ask him to take me back. Luckily, I refused to be moved.

"Because Bellatrix Lestrange threatened to kill him, Lily and James. I'm so sorry Lily, but short of avoiding you there's nothing I could do, and I won't make the mistake of suggesting that again." The last time I'd suggested that, about an hour ago, Lily had jumped on top of me and hugged me so tightly that I'd gone blue, screaming manically in my ear about how there was no way that was ever going to happen. Marlene and Alice had had to pull her off, and as we all grinned at the memory of the red-head's attack, I noticed Emmeline and Mary on either side of Lily, glancing surreptitiously at Lily out of the corner of their eyes, fingers twitching in anticipation.

"And what does that have to do with anything?" demanded Emmeline, her _'I'm with stupid' _expression identical to Alice's. Both of my friends' eyes burned with determination. I knew in that moment that I'd be six feet under before they gave up. "Everything, Emm. I'd really rather his own cousin, or anybody else, not kill him. Sirius means a lot to a lot of people. He _can't_ die."

Emmeline and Alice both shared a sly grin. Oh no. "And by a lot of people, Liss, you mean yourself, right?" smirked Alice. I shook my head, sick to the back teeth of this _interrogation_. "We broke up, Alice, Emm, so get over it and move on. Now, Mary, what did you say you got for Christmas?" I asked, turning to face a nervous-looking Mary. Although, to her credit, I'd have looked a little nervous too if Emmeline had been giving me one of her famous death glares.

"Don't even try it, Mary. Answer that question and it'll be the last thing you ever do. Now, Liss, I don't think you're fully understanding this. Tell her, Alice, because if she doesn't get it this time, I think I might just throw her out the window."

Mary, Lily and Marlene all shot me sympathetic looks. Emmeline _always_ made true on her threats. Last year she had threatened Remus Lupin that if he didn't let her copy his Charms homework, he would regret his existence. Remus refused, and spent the next week walking around Hogwarts emitting a vile odour no amount of showers could dispel. Emmeline had gotten a week of detention for that, and Marlene two days for helping her to research the spell, but it had been totally worth it. The only people who didn't agree with us were those who came within fifty feet of Remus. Flitwick had actually _fainted._

Clearing her throat, Alice began. Her eyes burned with fire, her cheeks were flushed and her arms were shooting around the place as she tried to illustrate her point. Alice was in her crazy mode. Merlin save us. "Alright, Liss. You know that Sirius hasn't always had the easiest life. Remember when his family kicked him out last year, and he came back to Hogwarts after half term covered in bruises? They disinherited him, Liss. I highly doubt that Bellatrix is the first cousin of his to send a death threat, and she sure as hell won't be the last. But Sirius can take that; you know he can. It wouldn't bother him in the slightest if he found out, and you should know that, for Merlin's sake, you went out with the guy for two months! _Two months_- Lissa! You should know how his mind works by now, or at least have the tiniest little bit of insight! He-doesn't-want-this-nor-does-he-need-it!"

I was slightly taken aback by Alice's powerful speech. So, it seemed, was she. Cheeks scarlet, Alice flopped back against the seat, resting her head on Emmeline's shoulder. I shook my head. "I'm sorry, guys, but that's not how I see it. I think I'll go get changed now, we'll be at Hogwarts in a half hour." Trying desperately not to cry, I summoned my robes and hurried out of the compartment, ignoring my friends' protests. Didn't they understand how hard this was for me?

I pushed my way past mostly younger students and ran into the bathroom. I only just managed to lock the door before the tears started. I slid down the wall, holding my school robes to my face, trying in vain to stop the tears. Taking a deep breath, I pulled myself up and looked myself dead in the eye in the mirror. I looked into the green eyes of my reflection, attempting to tame the now-wild frizziness of my dark hair. I set my face into determined lines and stared at myself through the mirror, trying to convince myself that what I could do this. _I am strong enough, and no matter what Emmeline and Alice say, this is for the best._


	2. An Inauspicious Beginning

**Sirius' POV (August 28****th****)**

I leaned forward on my broom, just two more inches…. "Ha! I win!", crowed James, waving the Quaffle in the air. Arrogant git of a best friend. I pointed my broom downwards, jumping off it just before it crashed into the grass. I rolled onto the soft grass of the Potters' back garden, ignoring James' shouts for a rematch. I hopped back up, fixing my hair back into place. A few feet away and a lot smoother than I had, James landed and tossed his broomstick aside. "Sure you don't want a rematch, mate?", he asked. I shook my head, smirking at him. God, James was Quidditch-mad but I guess that's how he got Captain. Me though, I'm a Goalkeeper, so little things like grace and finesse weren't so important as they are for a Chaser like James, or a Seeker like Lissa. Speaking of….

"Hey man, where're you going?", bellowed James at my retreating back. I looked back over my shoulder and threw him my trademark smirk. Oh yeah, I'm hot. "Inside. Lissa said she'd write, and I think I just saw her owl. Later, Prongs." I strolled into the Potters' house, snickering at the crushed look on James' face when he realized he wasn't getting a rematch. Poor sucker.

I strolled into the kitchen, throwing Mrs Potter a smile. "S'up Mrs P?" She shook her head, laughter written all over her face. "Ah, Sirius. Still quite the charmer, huh?" "You bet, Mrs P! Any letters for me?" Still laughing, she nodded over at the kitchen table. "Thanks, Mrs P." When she turned back around to the stove, I hurried over to the table and my letter, grinning.

I picked up Lissa's letter and tore the envelope open, inhaling the sweet smell of lavender from the scented paper she always used. When I'd asked her why she was so obsessed with scented letters, she'd replied with an annoyed look and a smack to the back of my head. "It's obvious, isn't it?", she'd said, looking like she'd really believed it. That was Lissa all over, mysterious without even being to be. I hadn't pressed the issue of the scented letters that day, or ever. It was just one of those loveable little quirks she had, like spreading cream cheese on her toast; writing with rainbow ink; or playing Chicken with the Beaters, Fabian and Gideon, to celebrate winning a match. It was like she took a distinct pleasure in being different, but at the same time one hundred percent herself. That's why I liked her so much. Every other girl would do anything to please the guy they liked, but Lissa wouldn't change for anyone, no matter who they were. She wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for me.

Grinning like a madman, I scanned down through the letter quickly. My smile slid off my face like running water as I read through the letter. _What. The. Hell. _I had to be dreaming, this couldn't be real, it just couldn't. Shaking my head hard from side to side until I couldn't see straight, I pinched the inside of my wrist hard, until I could feel the bruise forming. Then I read through the letter again, silently begging for it to have changed.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I'm very sorry to have to write this letter, but I have to. I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to come right out with it. Okay, Sirius. I think we need to break up. It's nothing to do with you; I just think it'll be for the best. I hope you'll understand. Please don't write back._

_I'm sorry,_

_Lissa_

I couldn't believe it; she didn't even give me a reason! There was no way I was going to let her get away with this. For over two months, I'd tried my damn hardest to be the perfect boyfriend. I hadn't even _smiled_ at another girl since mid-September, when we'd gotten together. Had she realized that she just didn't want me? Because that just wasn't fair, she had to at least summon up the decency to tell me what had happened that inspired her to end our relationship. Oh no, I would find out why she broke up with me if t was the last thing I ever do.

**Lissa's POV (Present day)**

We hurried through to the Great Hall for dinner, Emmeline, Marlene and Alice subtly blasting the younger students out of the way while Lily lectured them on responsibility. Sometimes Lily took her role as a prefect way too seriously. Nobody could stop Emmeline, Marlene and Alice, who seemed to have major issues with authority in any way, shape or form. They were one step down from the Marauders and the seventh-year Prewett twins.

If it weren't for Lily's perfect grades, I'd almost say Dumbledore had reprised what he'd done with Remus in appointing Lily as prefect, to keep my two crazy friends out of trouble. Alas, it hadn't worked, and I now spent a good portion of my time trying to distract Lily from Emmeline and Alice's escapades while Mary flirted outrageously with the 'hot' Prewett twins. How anyone could see the lanky, scrawny, freckly, red headed Prewett boys, Fabian and Gideon, as hot, was a complete mystery to me. I mean, they were sweet and funny and were two of the only people who would play Chicken with me when we beat Slytherin in Quidditch, but they weren't exactly male model material. Sometimes I thought someone should tell Fabian and Gideon that, and then maybe they'd stop striking a pose whenever they saw Mary, who clearly had a rather unique taste in men. Oh those crazy boys made me laugh every time.

"MOVE IT, TITCHY CHILD!", screamed Emmeline, using her grip on a second-year boy's head to shove him out of the way and into a fifth-year's stomach. "Emm! You're abusing her privileges as an older student. Guys back me up!" "DON'T PULL THAT FACE AT ME, MCMILLAN!" Lily's face went white as Marlene sent a jet of purple light across the Great Hall towards the Hufflepuff table. "YEAH, LEAVE HER ALONE, HORSE-FACE!", Alice yelled, gesturing rudely at poor Horse-Face. Mary and I were literally holding Lily back before she attacked the others in front of all of the teachers.

"Relax, Lil", I murmured. "McMillan does look like a horse, and you know it." "But-but it's still wrong and, and, and…" "Breath, Lils", Mary urged, rubbing Lily's back. Finally Lily calmed down, but not before she shot the all-too-innocent looking Marlene, Emmeline and Alice filthy looks, the kind she normally reserved for James Potter. Wise to a fault, Mary dragged the other three over to the Ravenclaw table to talk to her cousin, and to get them away from Lily before she actually killed them, or curse them like she cursed James when he asked her out. Speaking of…

"Hey, Lilyflower. Missed you over the holidays. Did you miss me?" Lily whirled around in her seat, her face an angry red. I had a good idea of who was with James, yet I still refused to look up. I could feel Sirius' eyes boring into the back of my head as I stared down determinedly at the table, refusing to turn around. I wanted, more than anything, to just cry, but I couldn't let him see that. "Potter, Black, you both have ten seconds to clear out before I turn you both into the warty toads you are." "Easy, Lils. I just wanted to ask…", he paused. Oh no, he was going to ask her out again! Oh well, at least this means the girls will have something else to talk about. I felt like I was falling in on myself and was about to break with Sirius staring at me lie he was, and the last thing I needed was a lengthy midnight discussion on why I should beg him to take me back. I still refused to turn around and meet his eyes. I didn't want to see his hatred, his anger.

I could literally feel the anger rolling off Lily in waves. Was James crazy? "I just wanted to ask if you'd like to go to…" "TEN, POTTER, FREAKING TEN! I HOPE YOU'RE AN UGLY TOAD!", Lily screamed, pulling out her wand and giving chase to an already running James. They turned the table and into my line of sight, sprinting up the aisle between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables at top speed. James's admittedly well-developed Quidditch muscles gave him an edge, but Lily was like a woman possessed. I wonder what had her so tightly wound, she was never usually this angry.

Usually she would just throw a wart hex or something equally as mild in James' direction and step on his toe before running off. Was it her sister, Petunia? Lily had mentioned that things were difficult between the two of them at the moment, and I was worried for my friend. She still had a sibling readily available, mine was probably either dead or making sure Death Eaters were, and I was worried sick about him. If I lost DJ, I would be completely alone, apart from my friends, but that didn't mean I wanted the same fate to befall Lily. Parents aren't around forever.

I missed my parents so much! It broke my heart to think that I would never hug my mother again, or never joke around with my father as we played wizards' chess. I snapped back to the present in an instant when a warm, familiar hand landed on my shoulder. I'd forgotten about Sirius, he'd just been so damn quiet. I really thought he'd have taken the hint and left. He was only making this harder, harder than it needed to be.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, sounding concerned. Blinking back tears, I nodded and straightened up, refusing to turn around and face the boy I'd broken up with only days ago. Seeing his face would just be too painful, and I don't think I could bear to see the anger that must surely be in his eyes for me. "Just go away, Sirius, please," I begged, closing my eyes tightly as I wished him away.

His grip on my shoulder tightened, nails digging into a painful bruise on my upper arm. I winced, and his grip slackened immediately as though I had burned him, leaving his hand lying on rather than holding my shoulder. "Sorry, Liss. But I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why the hell you broke up with me. Did I do something wrong? Do you like someone else? Please tell me, I can't stand the not knowing!"

Why couldn't he leave well alone? The sadness and pain in his usually cheerful voice was like a lance through me already fragile heart, and I didn't think I could take much more. "Please, Sirius, just leave me alone! It was nothing to do with you; I broke up with you for… personal… reasons. It's for the best, I'm sorry." Still Sirius did not leave, and if he stayed much longer I was going to burst out crying. When would the Sorting start already?

Then Sirius leaned forwards; so close his chin was practically resting on my shoulder. His breath tickled my ear, and I shivered slightly. "A relationship involves two people, Liss, so it takes two people to break one. If you can give me one solid reason why you broke up with me, I'll consider letting you. Until then, Liss, I'll be seeing you around. And if I see you around with that disgustingly smarming Ravenclaw, Wade Simmons, he'll be _wading _in the Black Lake. Understood?" The anger that came into Sirius voice at Wade Simmons' name terrified me, and I had no doubt that he would carry through with his threat if necessary.

Sirius had never liked Wade, the younger brother of Harry Simons, one of my brother's best friends from school. Since Wade and I had known each other since the age of six, we were, understandably as far as everyone but Sirius and James were concerned, quite close. Then again, Wade didn't much like Sirius either. I still remembered that time we'd played Ravenclaw in our second year. It had been the first year on the team for Sirius, Wade, James and I; and we'd all been determined to do well for our team.

Ten minutes into the game, Wade, a Chaser, had rocketed straight into James accidentally, knocking him off his broom about fifty feet in the air. James had broken and arm and a leg, but everyone except for Sirius understood that in Quidditch, accidents happen. So, in a bid to avenge his best mate, Sirius had 'missed' the Bludger and swung his bat right into Wade's abdomen. Although he had managed to hold onto his broom and avoid the long fall James had suffered, Wade had had several broken ribs and a ruptured appendix. Madam Pomfrey, albeit reluctantly, had been forced to remove Wade's spleen and appendix. Ever since that match, whenever Wade, James or Sirius saw each other around school, curses would fly, and so help you but if you were caught in the crossfire you'd be in the Hospital Wing for a week. Throughout the two months Sirius and I had been dating, he'd somehow gotten the idea that _Wade_ liked _me_. As if. Wade, much like Sirius, had never had any problems getting girls, so why would he go for someone who already has a boyfriend?

Red-hot anger coursed through my bloodstream at Sirius' sheer audacity. Wade's relationship and mine was none of his business, and it was time he got that through his thick skull, once and for all. I knew that he had every right to be angry with me, after all, I had broken up with him without giving a reason, but Wade had nothing to do with that, and I didn't like what he was implying, that I had cheated on him, something I would never do.

I whirled round furiously, shaking Sirius' hand off my roughly as if the limb was burning me. "It's over, Sirius, and I've told you my reasons once if I've told you a million times. I'm sorry if they weren't good enough for you, but they were good enough for me. Wade Simmons is my _friend_, nothing more. I. Don't. Cheat. Now could you please just _leave me alone?!"_

With that, I leapt out of my seat and sprinted out of the Great Hall, ignoring the calls of Sirius and my friends. Across the Hall, I glimpsed Wade gazing at my speeding form anxiously, probably wondering what the hell was going on. I was sure that one way or another, Wade would place the blame on Sirius, get him back, and prompt a reprisal from the Marauders as a whole. The next time I saw Wade Simmons I would probably be visiting him in the Hospital Wing.

I ran straight through the Entrance Hall as fast as I could, sprinting past the first years on their way in to be Sorted. I had almost cleared the Hall when, out of nowhere, I ran right into one of them and knocked the little guy flying into several of his friends. I knew that I should stop and help but I also knew that I had about ten minutes lead, max, to find a hiding place before everyone came looking for me. Mary, Lily, Marlene, Emmeline and Alice were the only people outside of DJ and the Ministry who knew for sure what had happened to my family, although I was almost positive that Wade knew as well, via DJ and Harry Simmons. As I ran, I thought through the options available to me: the passage behind the mirror on the third floor corridor, under the Quidditch pitch bleachers, the broom shed, the Room of Requirement, the Astronomy Tower. Alternatively, I could just go to my dormitory and sleep off today's painful events.

_Yes, I think I'll do that._ Slowing down and breathing hard, I skidded to a halt outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Password?" she asked glumly, clearly upset at the return of children to Hogwarts Castle for the term. It was only then that I realized that I didn't have the password, as I hadn't had the forethought to ask Lily for it, I would have to wait until the rest of Gryffindor House finished up in the great Hall, which could be hours from now.

I groaned, slumping against the rough stonewall beside the Fat Lady. I took out my wand and threaded it through my fingers, waving it around and sending random colored sparks at the nearby portraits, amusing myself with their reactions. I had just send a jet of orange shooting towards a portrait of a group of screaming fat monks, who, scared as they were, stayed loyal to obesity to the last and refused to move, when my stomach growled. I thought back to the last time I had eaten- last night at Marlene's house. Ooops.

Clutching my hungry stomach, I hurried to the Kitchens, much to the delight of the nearby portraits who had faced my wrath. As hordes of House Elves showered me with cream pie and copious amounts of the requested Firewhiskey, I came to one depressing conclusion: _My life, or what was left of it at least, sucked 100%, back to front and inside out. Also, I was going to have the mother of all hangovers in the morning._

"MELISSA ALISSON CRAWFORD, IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF THAT BED RIGHT NOW-!" _"AAH!"_ I screamed, thudding to the floor at the precise moment the Firewhiskeys from last night caught up with me in the form of a thundering, pounding headache. I groaned, opening my eyes just a crack. Marlene, Lily and Mary stood in a semi-circle around, wands raised in defensive positions. I think that may have been a bit much, after all I'd only ever attacked them that _one time_, and I had been _really_ tired.

"What?!" I hissed menacingly, eyes burning as the light flooded into them. My head felt like a leprechaun was doing an Irish jig in tap shoes inside of it. Lily sighed, annoyed and frustrated. "Classes start in twenty minutes, Lissa! Wherever the hell you were last night, I take it that you didn't get your timetable?" Groaning again, I shook my head. So that was why they were all fully dressed in school robes. And Lily was right, I hadn't gotten my timetable.

I curled up into a ball on the floor. "Shit, shit, shit! Just leave me here- I'll ditch!" I cried. Lily shook her head, expression determined. "Marley, Mary, get her stuff ready. The timetable's on my bedside locker. Quickly!" she screamed. I clutched at my head, moaning in agony. Marlene and Mary hurried off, pulling black robes, jeans and a t-shirt out of my trunk, tossing my sneakers at me. Lily stood over me, red hair blowing out around her in the breeze coming through the open windows. Her green eyes glowed dangerously with a manic energy. "Get up, Lissa. You are not ditching, not now and not ever. If you get straight into the shower right now, you'll just have time to drink that flask of coffee I've sent Emm and Alice to the Great Hall for. Now get off your ass and move it, 'cause we've got Transfiguration with McGonagall first, and she will not be amused if we're late. I" she said, drawing herself up "Am a prefect. Now GET SHOWERED!"

Lily's shrill voice ripped right through me as she literally dragged me into our dorm bathroom by the ankles. My head was pounding and my mouth felt like a skunk had crawled into it and died. Shoving the red headed ball of manic energy that was Lily Evans out of the bathroom, I took the quickest shower of my life. I then stumbled out in the now-empty dorm and pulled on the clothes Marlene and Mary had left out for me. Emmeline burst in bearing a silver hip flask just as I was pulling on my sneakers. She shoved it into my waiting palms and pulled me out of the room. "Transfiguration in five" she panted. "Lily's going ballistic." "I bet she is" I murmured in a low voice, pouring the precious coffee down my throat. We met the Lily, Mary, Marlene and Alice in the Common Room. Lily abruptly stopped her frantic pacing when she saw us coming and hurried straight over to the portrait hole.

We sprinted through the corridors, ominously void of students. It took us what seemed like forever to reach McGonagall's room, and when we did, the door was shut. "How late are we?" whimpered Lily, eyes tightly shut, fingernails digging into her palms. Alice rolled her eyes and peeked through the keyhole into the classroom. She pulled back thirty seconds later, pale as a ghost. "I _cannot_ believe what I just saw. I _refuse_ to believe it." Marlene elbowed Alice out of the way, shushing her. She lowered her one eye to the keyhole and looked through. And froze.

"Marley? Marlene? What is it?" I hissed. She pulled back, her face shocked. "I-it's the M-Marauders" she whispered in awe. "They're in there already, they're in class before ten a.m.!" We all froze, even Lily stopped hyperventilating for a second. Then, all of a sudden, all noise from the classroom ceased. We all shot nervous glances at each other. We were oh so dead.

"Ladies? Would you like to explain why you are all fifteen minutes late to my class? Even _you_, Ms. Evans?" Gulp. Professor Minerva McGonagall stood in the now-open doorway with her hands on her hips, usual steely expression present with a splash of fury. "I _cannot_ believe this, girls! So disrespectful, first day of class, and _you_ Ms. Evans, a _prefect_, how dare you…" _Lalalala…._ I tuned McGonagall out and peered over her shoulder into the classroom discreetly. My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw that Marlene and Alice had bee right- the Marauders, the Marauders, were on time for and present in the first morning class. James' hair may have been just as messy as always; Peter may have been drooling as he slept on his Transfiguration textbook; Sirius' robes may have been askew and on sideways; and Remus' eyes may have been red and puffy, but they were all still here. On time. What the _fuck?!_

"Ms. Crawford? Excuse me, am I _boring_ you?" asked McGonagall, steely eyes boring into mine, The leprechaun in my head resumed his dance, this time in tap-shoes. I groaned, and my face twisted in agony. McGonagall had a knowing look in her eyes. "Alright girls, since this is the first day back and Ms. Crawford is obviously that feeling too well, I think I will let you off, _just this once_. Now sit down and catch up on today's notes." Heads down, we all shuffled past her into the classroom, mumbling apologies under our breaths as we went.

Sirius' head snapped up as I passed, swirling grey eyes boring into mine. I swallowed and fixed my eyes, swollen from crying myself to sleep, back on my sneakered feet as I trudged over to where Lily sat at our usual six-person row in the middle of the room. This year, Transfiguration was with the Hufflepuffs. I realized this as about twenty-odd pairs of eyes were fixed on me and my friends, one pair of stormy, angry grey eyes in particular burning a hole in the back of my head. At the front of the classroom by her desk, McGonagall was glaring at me as she dictated notes on the transfiguration of rodents into cutlery. I sunk down in my seat slowly, groaning as the leprechaun's tap-dance continued. I could already tell that this would be a _great_ year. Note the sarcasm.


	3. Patronuses and Potions

Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs passed quickly, History of Magic and Arithmancy were boring but mercifully quick. Professor Binns, in his usual droning voice, had lulled literally the entire class except for Lily and me to Lala Land. My head was still pounding at lunch, so I'd decided to hide under the table with a mug of beautiful scalding coffee, ignoring Marlene's attempts to foist a chicken salad roll on me. I just couldn't eat, and the only reason I'd managed to sleep that night was because all the alcohol had literally knocked me out the instant my head had touched the pillow. Prior to last night, I hadn't slept properly and without nightmares in almost a week. I think I had developed insomnia ever since that night. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw my father lying unconscious in a pool of blood, my brother biting his lip until he drew blood in an attempt not to scream as Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy tortured him, and my mother screaming for them to stop. And just before I would wake up, screaming, Bellatrix would turn to look into my eyes and raise her wand….

So you see, I had every right to find sleep hard to come by. Eating was difficult too. Every time I so much as looked at food, I saw, as if from above, DJ and I as the Lestranges, Rabastan, Rodolphus and Bellatrix, cut into us, slicing deep half-moon, bloody scars that would never fully heal. The blood oozing from a rare steak, or even tomato soup, reminded me of the pools of blood that had seeped out of our bodies that night. Every form of food and drink would be only half-way down my digestive tract when I would discover that I was still unable to stomach it, and threw it up again. I had been skinny before, but now I resembled more of a living skeleton, with dark shadows under my eyes that no amount of concealer could hide.

When the girls had finished their lunch, I crawled out from under the table and we headed to DADA. "What House do you think we have Defence with?" asked Mary. Emmeline shrugged. "Dunno. Slytherin?" "Hope not" muttered Marlene, shuddering at the very thought. "The Marauders, and the wannabe Death Eaters in the same room. They'll blow it to smithereens!" "Be funny, though" murmured Emmeline. Alice promptly elbowed her in the side. "Ow! What's that for?" Emmeline hissed. Alice nodded at Lily, whose face was fixed into an unreadable, expressionless mask. "Are you okay, Lils?" I asked, concerned for the red headed girl. "I know that it must be hard hearing such things about Severus Snape, having been friends with him so long…" "We are _not_ friends. After what he said, we are _nothing!_" hissed Lily, eyes flashing.

I backed away, palms raised. "'Kay, Lils. Sorry, you're right. C'mon, we'll be late." We walked the rest of the way to DADA in silence. I really did hope that we didn't have it with the Slytherins though- Marlene was right, there would be carnage. Severus Snape, whatever Lily may have made him out to be in the past, was a vicious little snake that, most of the time, had the intelligence and cunning to pick his battles. One on four, he could never take the Marauders, but in a practical class surrounded by his fellow future Death Eaters, it would be a more even fight.

We arrived for DADA, panting and sprinting round the corner, several minutes late, and the class had already gone in. We exchanged nervous glances before unanimously nominating Prefect Lily to take the lead. The DADA professor, Professor Johnson, thought that prefects were the best people ever, model students. He'd go easier on us for being late if it was the perfect Lily Evans plying him with our excuses.

Gulping loudly, Lily knocked on the hard wooden door, the rest of us huddled behind her. "Enter" called a deep baritone voice called from he other side of the door. Composing herself, Lily did, us following behind her. Professor Johnson, intimidating and annoyed-looking, was standing by the blackboard at the front of the classroom, wand pointing out the basic notes for the Patronus Charm. He raised an eyebrow, beckoning our explanation. I knew then that whoever would give it to him would be the one he would focus on when dishing out discipline. Johnson was not known for gentle detentions. The last time I had served one of the, I had been looking after his demon of a mastiff, who had bitten my hand to the bone. Lily, however, had never had the pleasure of ding one of Johnson's detentions, and it was my fondest wish that she never would. I could see her hands shaking slightly, but her face betrayed no signs of anxiety or nervousness. Lily was too brave, but she was obviously scared. The perfect Lily Evans was rarely given out to, and we were sure as hell about to be.

I decided there and then that I couldn't let Lily face Johnson. He might think that prefects were the very definition of human perfection, but he would still kill Lily. Lily wasn't used to being yelled at by teachers, but I, with my habits of eating, sleeping and shooting hexes in class, was definitely used to it. I got more than my fair share of it, and could take it better than Lily. So I was only doing the right thing when I braved the dragon (Johnson, in this case, although I would definitely have preferred a real dragon) and stepped forward to give our excuses.

"Sorry we're late, Professor" I said in a clear, respectful voice, as I wracked my brains for a good enough excuse. Then it hit me. "Girl problems" I whispered loudly. Lily's face lit up like a traffic light on red, and my other friends were alternating between awkward shuffling of feet and shooting me dirty looks. Johnson's expression changed to that of embarrassment and confusion, and he motioned for us to sit down quickly. "Don't be late again" he warned. "We won't, sir. Sorry again." He snorted, turning back to the board. "What the fuck?" hissed Alice at me. "Girl problems?" "I'd like to see you do better" I muttered, dropping into my seat in the back row between Mary and Marlene.

It was only then that I realized that we did indeed have this class with the Slytherins. Just great, that was just brilliant. Evan Rosier shot me a knowing look when nobody else was watching. I stiffened, and that bastard, that absolute bastard, _winked_ at me. He knew, knew what had happened to my family, to my parents. Hell, he probably knew the people who'd done it. So if I couldn't kill them, I'd do the next-best thing and kill Rosier, Mulciber, Snape, Regulus Black, etc.

Then Johnson was opening the classroom door and ushering us out. Was class over already? "Where're we going?" I asked Lily as we filed out. She sighed. "You never do pay attention, do you, Liss? We're going to the Great Hall to practice our Patronuses on a really should pay more attention in class…"

My thoughts were churning. What would my Patronus be? Would I be able to do the spell? They said that your Patronus symbolized what you're like as a person, so what would mine say about me? What would the others' be? Sirius'? I was sure that he'd be something powerful, great, loyal, and strong. Sirius represented strength to me, a strong person who prized loyalty and heroism above all else. He would have a beautiful Patronus.

We turned into the Great Hall, and Johnson immediately ordered us to space out and practice the incantation on our own, without the Boggart first. Anyone who talked would be looking after his mastiff, Robert the Hand-Biter, every night for the rest of the week. An immediate hush had fallen over the Hall when he'd said that. Doing my best to block out all thoughts of Sirius, Rosier, and my brother DJ, I closed my eyes and searched for a happy memory. It took me no more than ten seconds to light on the memory of mine and Sirius' first date. He had taken me to the Three Broomsticks for butterbeers, and then on to the shops of Hogsmeade, where he had bought me a small cuddly stuffed black dog with a smirk on his face. That night he'd shown me the Marauders' Map, and we'd used it to ambush Filch with a shower of bewitch painted water balloons. That had been one of the best days of my life.

I brought that memory to the front of my mind, calling on the power of the happiness of Sirius' smile in that memory as well as every inch of my prowess at DADA, and murmured with as much confidence as I could muster 'Expecto Patronum!" I opened my eyes just in time to see an unimpressive silver mist seep out of my wand and fade into nothing. Looking around, I saw that that seemed to be the general result. Evan Rosier, hardly bothering with the spell, caught my eyes and sent my an arrogant smirk, and again, that knowing wink. I ripped my eyes from his angrily.

Closing my eyes tightly, I tried again. _The feel of Sirius' arms around me as he pulled me out of the way of James' bewitched snowballs. The grin on Sirius' face as he showed me the star he was named for, Sirius the Dog Star, from the roof of the Astronomy Tower. The tender movement of his perfect lips against mine during our first kiss. He'd smelled of spearmint gum and the ferny fronds of the forest floor… _"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" My eyes shot open. He eyes of everybody in the room were fixed on my friend, Marlene McKinnon, as she cast a perfect, corporeal Patronus. The beautiful silvery jaguar leapt forward, circling protectively around Marlene, who looked just as shocked as everybody else.

A slow round of applause sounded from the back of the Great Hall. Marlene's head snapped up and followed the noise. Professor Johnson spoke in his low, serious voice. "Well done, Ms. McKinnon. Also, congratulations. The jaguar is an impressive Patronus. Power, effort, integrity. Very admirable qualities, Ms. McKinnon, well done." Abruptly, he turned from Marlene and motioned to the center of the Hall, where a casket now lay. "Line up, kids. You will face the Boggart, in the form of a Dementor, one at a time. Hurry now!"

We all hurried into a line, shooting Marlene looks that ranged from awe to jealousy. First up was James Potter. Running his fingers through his raven hair nervously, he faced the casket bravely. Johnson then released the lid. Out rose a tall, hooded form, cloaked in shadows and darkness. A small bead of cold sweat slid down my side, and behind me, someone who sounded an awful lot like Emmeline whimpered. The cloaked creature reached out for James', who stood frozen to the spot. "POTTER! THE SPELL!" yelled Johnson. James jerked, looking dazed. Then the determined expression he wore playing Quidditch fell over his face, and he raised his wand. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" A silvery stag burst out of the tip of James' wand and ran the Boggart over. It recovered quickly, fleeing back into the casket and letting the lid fall down with a clang.

"Well done, lad. The stag, huh? The stag is said to represent pride and independence, admirable qualities to possess. NEXT!" Several more people took their turns, failing to produce anything more than a bit of silvery mist. Then Mary stepped back, looking disappointed, and it was my turn. Oh hell. "Ready, Crawford?" asked Professor Johnson, hand at the ready on the handle of the casket. _Now or never. _"Yeah" I choked. He nodded, throwing open the casket. Everybody behind me automatically took about ten steps back as the Boggart-Dementor rose out of the casket and started towards me. I closed my eyes tightly, concentrating on my happy memories. I was taking no chances, I couldn't risk being forced to relive the worst night of my life in front of half of my year.

_My first day at Hogwarts. Meeting my friends. Being Sorted into Gryffindor. Getting on the Quidditch team. Sirius' face when he admitted he liked me. Sirius' face when I shyly admitted that I liked him back. Sirius' infectious barking laughter the day I'd Charmed his beloved sleek hair into an Afro no amount of gel could tame. I'd thought he'd be mad…. _"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" I yelled, praying that it would work. And then, as though all of my prayers had been answered, a lithe silvery fox burst out of the tip of my wand and bolted forward towards the Dementor. Unlike James' stag and Marlene's jaguar, my little fox was too small to run it over. Instead, the silvery little fox ran at the spot the Dementor's feet should have been, and tripped it up. It fled back into the casket, and Johnson clamped the lid shut. "Well done, Crawford. The fox is said to symbolize cunning, transformation, camouflage and invisibility. Not bad, not bad at all."

Slowly but surely, the rest of the class took their turns. However, by the end of the class, only a few people had produced more than a cloud of mist. James' stag, Marlene's jaguar, Sirius' wolf-dog, Lily's doe, and my fox all earned a round of applause from Johnson, from whom praise was hard to come by. Keeping my head down to avoid the ever-present stares of the Marauders, I hurried my friends out of the Great Hall and down to the dungeons. Lily had insisted that we all keep on Potions, because it was 'useful' or something like that. Anyway.

We rounded the corner of the dungeons, and I was immediately hit by what felt like a solid, laughing wall. "Lissy!" screamed the wall delightedly as it squeezed me tightly. _Wade._ "Can't. Breathe" I puffed, slapping at his back. He pulled back, grinning from ear to ear. His smile slipped off his face when he glimpsed the edge of a pink scar, barley healed, disappearing beneath the sleeve of my robe. I frowned. DJ must have written to Harry, who had obviously told Wade. "You okay?" he murmured, tenderly tucking a strand of my dark hair behind my ear. He actually had to bend down to do so, and I almost laughed. "Yeah Wade, I'm doing okay. I'm alive, right?" I whispered. He nodded sternly, grasping my small hand sin his big ones.

Wade Simmons, one of my best friends since the age of about six, was probably about half a foot taller than me, and a hell of a load stronger. He had straw-blond hair that fell into his cornflower-blue eyes, and a handsome face dotted with freckles, crowned with a warm and ever-present grin. He was a skilled Chaser, and a shoe-in for Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain when Eli Davies left next year. He was also the one person, apart from maybe his own brother and Severus Snape, that Sirius Black hated more than anyone else.

"_Aaah!"_ Wade hissed, jumping slightly as he clutched his right arm. Out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed Sirius standing with Remus, James and Peter, twirling his wand through his long fingers n looking mighty pleased with himself. As he caught me glaring at him, the asshole _winked_. I suddenly remembered his threat at the feast last night, just before I had fled to the Kitchens and drank a year's supply of alcohol. _And if I see you around with that disgustingly smarming Ravenclaw, Wade Simmons, he'll be _wading_ in the Black Lake. Understood? _What an absolute asshole!

"Are you okay, Wade?" I asked, gently pulling up his sleeve to expose a nasty enough looking burn. I poked at it gently, making Wade wince. "Sorry" I murmured. I muttered a couple of healing spells, and the angry pink skin smoothed back over into its usual light tan. I could hear Sirius' angry hiss as clearly as if I was standing next to him, instead of across the corridor. "Black?" Wade asked in a murmur, raising an eyebrow as he pulled his sleeve back down. I nodded, eyes downcast. "Who else?" "Well, Liss" Wade began with a grin "I don't think Potter likes me very much either. Judging by the glares I'm getting from the both of them, I'm surprised that Severus Snape doesn't feel neglected." I laughed softly, shaking my head. "It's not you specifically, Wade. Sirius has been injured millions of time playing Quidditch, both as Beater and Keeper, and he's never held many grudges before, especially not for four years. It's not that they don't like _you_, specifically, it's more that Sirius thinks that _you_ like _me_."

Wade snorted and threw a muscled arm over my shoulder, almost having to bend down to reach me. Sirius made another noise like an angry cat, and I tensed instinctively. Sirius did, after all, come from a family of Dark wizards, and therefore knew a wide array of curses, all of them not necessarily legal. "Nice to know that you find me so unattractive, Wade" I said in a fake-upset voice, smirking at the ground. Wade looked down at me frantically, handsome face contorting with worry. "No, no, Lissa, I didn't mean it like that! I mean, you're very pretty and nice and all, but you're like my little sister, and—" I couldn't take it anymore. I burst out laughing, clutching at my ribs. Although my eyes were closed, I could sense Sirius' dissatisfaction. Honesty, if he frowned anymore he'd get premature wrinkles. It didn't bear thinking about, of course, that I was the one putting that frown on his face, but comforting Sirius was not an option. But no matter how justified Sirius' anger towards me may be, from his point of view anyways, Wade had nothing to do with it, and burning his arm was so far over the line he'd lost sight of it.

"It's okay, Wade, I know. I think of you as a brother as well. Sirius, however, thinks otherwise. For some reason unknown to the rest of the world but James, Remus and Peter, you putting your arm around me is killing him." Wade's arm loosened around my shoulders instantly and started to slide off, but I reached up and yanked it back, keeping up the grinning façade. "Oh no, Wade" I murmured through my teeth. "Keep it there. Killing him is a good thing. Sirius is far too.. unreasonable. He's like a child who can't accept that we broke up, and God do I know it's mostly my fault, but still. Burning my friend because he held my hand is just so- _petty_. He needs to learn, and you my friend, are going to help me teach him."

Wade smiled uncertainly at me, and I winked at him knowingly. _Just go with it, boy. _At that precise moment, the doors to Slughorn's classroom swung open and the jovial, over-sized professor appeared, large belly proceeding the rest of him. "Lily Evans, kept on Potions I see. Glad to have you back, so glad!" he gushed, smiling excitedly at Lily, who smiled back hesitantly. Slughorn favored Lily so much that he didn't even try and hide it, and Lily had started to get tired of the extra attention midway through second year. Following Slughorn, Wade, Marlene, Alice, Mary, Lily, Emmeline and I filed into the classroom.

Slughorn sank into his armchair at the front of the class and waved a chubby arm towards the two-person desks, indicating that we should chose our partners and sit down. Alice and Emmeline paired off immediately, Mary sat with Marlene, and Lily, much to her disgust, was paired off with Severus Snape at Slughorn's insistence. Shuddering with disgust for her once-best friend, Lily glanced at me apologetically. I shrugged and smiled at her, nodding towards Wade. "Partners?" I asked him. "You bet" he grinned back, eyes flickering over to where Sirius sat with James, both busily boring holes in the back of Wade's head with the magnitude of their combined glares. Remus, looking like he'd passed bored to death eons ago, sat behind them with Peter, flicking at bits of loose paper with his wand. It was a mystery to me why Remus Lupin hadn't simply been moved up a year. He was, without a doubt, probably smarter than most seventh year Ravenclaws, and even more impressively, smarter than Lily Evans.

Wade and I sat down a few desks away from Sirius, in front of Mary and Marlene but behind Emmeline and Alice. Lily sat, frowning, at the front of the classroom with a delighted-looking Snape. I could already see Sirius and James taking out their wands and aiming them at him. Snape would not leave this room without several new additions to his face, and Gryffindor's consummate troublemakers would not leave this room without losing several House points. It was simply a fact that everyone had learned to accept, although Lily usually went into prefect-mode to give them a good telling off.

Struggling to keep up my cheery façade, I started to prepare the ingredients from my Potions Kit while Wade went to the Supply Cupboard to get the rest. Today we were going to be making what Slughorn described as "one of the most difficult and dangerous potions in the entire world to make", Veritaserum. I could almost see the smirks on the Marauders' faces when Slughorn mentioned about how explosive the mixture was before stirring, or how effective it was in getting the drinker to spill all of their darkest secrets. I could practically hear the cogs churning in Sirius' head- who knew how desperate he was to find out my reasons for the break-up.

I didn't think the new Head of the Auror Department would be too pleased if Sirius found out about my family, since I'd been given an official warning to keep my mouth shut for as long as humanly possible, or until they could put a positive spin on 'The old Head of the Auror Department was tortured and killed by the very people he was charged with capturing'. So, in other words, not any time soon, and that made me sick to my stomach. I hadn't been supposed to tell anyone about what had happened- not Mary, Lily, Marlene, Alice, Emmeline, or Wade. They might be all I had left in the way of family and friends, but that wasn't good enough for the Ministry. If Sirius found out, that would be very, very bad for me. Like five years n an Azkaban cell bad.

"Keep an eye on the Marauders" I whispered to Wade out of the corner of my mouth. "If he manages to slip any of that Veritaserum into his pocket and finds out about my dad, it's al over for me. He _can't_ know." Wade sighed sadly, shooting me a sympathetic look. "Okay, princess, since it's you, I'll make sure Black doesn't get his grimy mitts on the potion." "Thanks." "Don't mention it" he replied with his trademark easy grin. "Now just hand me the Gurdyroots and we'll be halfway there."

I handed Wade the root, glancing absent-mindedly around the classroom. At the back of the room, Frank Longbottom of Gryffindor and Lucian Bulstrode of Slytherin were reluctantly partnered up. Frank had his eyes closed, angry face complete with a pulsating vein in his forehead. Lucian was glaring sourly at their cauldron, which seemed to be filled to the brim with a thick, foul-smelling liquid, fingers itching to grasp his wand. To the right of Frank and Lucian were Mary and Marlene, staring at their smoking cauldron in confusion. Emmeline and Alice were whispering with James Potter in the corner, and Remus, displaying the proverbial patience of a saint, stopped Peter from adding the wrong ingredient for the thousandth time in a row. Lily was shooting me agonized looks from the front row as Severus Snape bent so far over their potion that his greasy black hair was millimeters from its surface.

I winked at her, mouthing _'Wish you were here'_ as I nodded at Wade, who was nobly doing most of the work on our potion, all the while keeping an eye on Sirius. Lily scowled at me and whirled back round, only to find herself inches away from Snape's greasy head of hair as he bent over the ingredients board. I couldn't help myself, I burst out laughing. Wade's head snapped round instantly, face a mask of confusion. I shook my head playfully at him. I was managing to keep going on, albeit at a snail's crawl, after the incident. It would still be a long time, however, before I would be able to sleep without waking up screaming from nightmares, eat without seeing the bloody wounds on my brother's half-conscious body, hear someone sneak up behind me without having a panic attack. Still, I was managing so far, so Wade shouldn't have looked so surprised.

Wade motioned towards the un-chopped ingredients waiting on the chopping board, raising an eyebrow. Huffing, I picked up the sharp pocketknife we used to slice the ingredients, and started chopping. I positioned the knife against my finger, preparing to slice through the Gurdyroot. As I raised the knife, a loud crash sounded from the back of the room, but I ignored it. Thirty seconds later, however… "BLACK, POTTER, VANCE AND PREWETT, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT?!" roared Slughorn. I jumped at the sudden loud noise, and the knife flew out of my hand. Wade watched in horror as the razor-sharp blade hit my wrist and buried its tip in my skin. I screamed, and then everything started to go black.


	4. The Prank

_I was on the tiled floor of our kitchen, wracked with agony. The usually freezing tiles were warm and slick with blood, and Rabastan Lestrange almost slipped on it as he moved to cut into my brother with his wand again. DJ screamed loudly, and the sound tore my heart in two. My mother begged for mercy for her family as another Death Eater made a deep cut in my unconscious father's face, spraying his warm blood onto my face. _

_Then suddenly the screaming stopped, and the dark-robed figures moved from DJ's limp and bloody body to stand over me, wands outstretched. One of their hoods fell forward, exposing a gaunt face with aristocratic features, surrounded by a messy explosion of dark hair. Bellatrix Lestrange, standing side by side with her husband Rodolphus and Lucius Malfoy, leered down at me._

"_Had enough yet, darling? Would you like a round two, or do you think Danny boy would prefer it? Your choice, kid" she said with a malicious and arrogant smile. "NOT MY BROTHER!' I screamed at the top of my voice, not caring that my throat was already ripped raw from the screaming earlier. "PLEASE-PLEASE, DON'T HURT THEM! PLEASE STOP, I'LL DO ANYTHING! HURT ME INSTEAD!" "Alright, kiddo" Bellatrix smirked. "Will do." Then she raised her wand…_

"LISSA! WAKE UP, LISS!" My eyes shot open. Lily's face was inches away from mine, worried and stressed looking. She immediately drew back when she saw my eyes open. "Oh thank Merlin you're okay, Liss!" As Lily moved her head, I saw the other people surrounding my bed. It was quite crowded actually, and I wondered briefly how Madam Pomfrey had let so many of them in. Mary, Marlene, Alice and Emmeline were all crowded together with Lily on the right side of my bed, Marlene jammed between Lily and the bedside locker. Wade Simmons was standing at the foot of the bed, wearing a concerned expression and grasping the bar at the end of my bed so tightly that his knuckles were white. Intense relief washed over his face when he saw that I was awake, and he gave me a weak smile. They all looked very tired, like they'd been up all night for a week.

On the right side of my bed, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin were jostling for space. I barely managed to hold in my sigh of disappointment, as the one person I really wanted to see wasn't there. "Hey guys, is she awake yet?" asked a voice from behind the girls. Everyone, including me, turned to face the owner of the voice. As Mary and Alice shifted, I set eyes on the voice's owner. And immediately turned away.

Sirius black stood a few feet away from the others, frozen. He seemed to forget about the tray of hot drinks he was carrying as he locked eyes with me, his volatile grey ones refusing to let me go. "I'm awake," I answered in a low murmur, since no one else seemed likely to. "Good" was his equally quiet answer. Suddenly I was no longer able to stay looking at him like that, and I tore my eyes from his. An awkward silence reigned for a moment.

"So, guys. What actually happened?" I asked. They all exchanged looks of amazement. "You really don't remember?" Remus asked, face incredulous. I shook my head, wincing at the pain that accompanied the action. Lily sighed and sank down onto the bed as she prepared to explain.

"Well, Lissa, after the four idiots- also known as Potter, Black, Al and Emm- decided to blow up a cauldron, Slughorn blew up himself. Went bright red, started yelling, he even threw his paperweight at them. Wade said that you jumped holding the knife, let go of it, it flew up, stabbed your wrist, and then you passed out. Then Slughorn's paperweight landed in the explosive potion and flew out immediately. That got you in the ribs, and you've broken six of them. The only reason you're not dying right now is because Potter knows where Pomfrey keeps the extra painkillers, and we dosed you up the second she left. Any questions?"

I sank back into my pillows, mind on overdrive. Did all of that really happen to me? I gently rested my non-bandaged hand on my abdomen, feeling for sore spots. I was a few inches away from my second rib when Wade grabbed my wrist to stop me. "Don't hurt yourself any more, princess. Let it heal." Sirius let out a distinctly canine growl at this point, which in hindsight I realize Wade should have taken as a warning. Because five seconds later, he was hopping around and struggling out of his flaming robes, cursing like a sailor.

"Wade! Simmons, in the name of Merlin, what the fuck just happened?" shouted Alice, after Wade had finally pulled off the robes to reveal a slightly singed t-shirt and blackened jeans. I glared at Sirius, who was standing a few feet away from Wade, leaning back against the wall and giving me a lazy grin as he twirled his wand through his long fingers. Asshole.

"I. Don't. Know" Wade grunted. His teeth were clenched against the obvious pain of the slight burns that decorated his arms and legs. Yes, I decided. Sirius Black was behaving like a spoilt child, and I would give him exactly what he deserved. Revenge would be sweet.

"So, Lissa" asked James cheerfully. "Do you think you'll be able to play in the Quidditch match in a week and a half?" "JAMES CHARLUS POTTER, YOU INCONSIDERATE, BERKISH, TOE-RA—" "I love it when you say my name, Lilyflower. So sexy" said James with a dreamy smile. At that point Lily lost it, and wand extended, began to chase James around the room. Seemingly bored, Marlene, Alice and Emmeline joined in. Mary, Peter and Remus shouted pleas of rationality, which I think were pretty much lost on the screaming red head and the terrified Quidditch lover.

Sirius didn't try to help his best friend out at all, no, he just stood there with a smirk on his amused face. I would have laughed had Sirius not been there. Owing to his recent behavior, I was almost afraid of this new Sirius- arrogant, unreachable, jealous, possessive, and malicious. I had to get him back to how he'd been before- cheerful, playful, happy, fair, and decent. And if I couldn't do that, then I'd settle for pranking the ever-loving shit out of him, with a little bit of help of course. One thing was certain, however. By the end of the month, I will either have Sirius back to his normal happy self, or I will have my revenge on him for his asshole-ish behavior. I didn't honestly know which one I wanted more.

X X X X

"Liss, are you sure this is going to work?' hissed Mary. We were so close that I could feel her breath tickling my ear. We were both currently squashed into a niche behind the fourth floor tapestry of Egrid the Evil, something that I was technically almost allowed to be doing. Pomfrey never banned me from squashing into hidden niches with my friend in order to prank an asshole ex-boyfriend. Although she had seen fit to ban me from carrying heavy bags, holding a fork in my injured hand, and playing Quidditch (which thankfully hasn't started up yet, or James would have thrown a hissy fit). Go figure. Across the corridor, Wade and Fabian and Gideon Prewett were in a similar position. Operation Revenge On Sirius was well underway.

Also in on the plan were Marlene, Alice, and Emmeline, all of whom were currently in position. Marlene's job was to keep Lily busy and out of the way, and also to distract her to keep her from using her highly honed Prefect Sensors. Alice and Emmeline were to bring Sirius down here with them, and were due any minute. Then the rest of us would strike. This would either be an awesome victory, or a colossal failure (quite possible, as I had conceived it while high on eight different kinds of painkiller, of varying strength. Still was). Needless to say, we were all hoping for the former. With the Prewett twins, a.k.a. the only people who can prank the Marauders, in on this, we just might succeed.

'Liss?" hissed Mary again. "Sssh, they'll be here any second now. Be quiet or he'll hear you." My heart was literally in my throat as I listened to the three sets of footsteps coming down the corridor: Alice, Emmeline and Sirius. The tapestry on the across the corridor twitched, and I caught a brief glimpse of Gideon Prewett, mouthing the words "Ten seconds."

_Ten. _Sirius rounded the corner of the corridor with the girls. _Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. _Sirius stopped walking, and through a hole in the tapestry I glimpsed him bending over to tie his shoe. _Five. Four. _Sirius sighed in frustration and kicked out at the stonewall. I know this because when his toe connected with the unforgiving stone, he squealed. Like a seven-year-old girl. _Three. Two. _I took a deep breath and nudged Mary, silently telling her to be ready. _One._

I raised my wand and cast a non-verbal spell, at the same time as Mary, Gideon and Fabian. The four combined spells hit Sirius in the stomach, and he buckled over from the sheer force. Then he fell to the floor, Stunned. Fabian and Gideon rushed out from behind their tapestry and raced over to where Alice and Emmeline stood beside Sirius' unconscious form. "Well done, girls! Jolly good work!" Fabian exclaimed in deadly seriousness, while Gideon shook their hands formally. Mary and I stumbled out from behind our tapestry, laughing at the twins' antics.

I walked over to where Sirius lay, turning him over onto his stomach with my shoe. I turned to Alice. "Okay Al, you're our artistic expert here. Tell me how I should do it." For the next few minutes Alice outlined the finer details for me, waving her hands over Sirius to illustrate points. Fabian winced for Sirius when one of Alice's fingers got stuck in Sirius' hair and she had to yank it free. A little twist of black hair actually came off on her finger. _Ouch._

I knelt down beside Sirius, watched carefully by the others. I carefully held my wand out in front of me, aimed at the back of Sirius' head. We were going to hit him where it hurt- his beloved hair, not that he'd seemed to care as much about it lately. However, if I went just the slightest bit wrong, Sirius was going to wind up seriously hurt. I muttered a spell under my breath, carefully moving my wand over his hair. Five minutes later, I was done. Leaning back to appreciate my handiwork, I graciously accepted the praise of Fabian, Gideon, Mary, Emmeline and Alice.

"Blimey" hissed Fabian admiringly. "Remind me never to get on your bad side." Murmurs of agreement followed as they all admired my work, and I grinned genuinely for the first time in weeks. Sirius' beloved sleek black hair had parts shaven out of it with my wand, spelling out the words _'Minerva McGonagall is a sexy beast'. _This prank, shaving words onto the back of someone's head, was relatively tame compared to some of the stuff Sirius himself had done, but the best was yet to come. When McGonagall saw this, she was going to _freak_. Sirius would probably be in detention for the rest of the month. The last time Sirius had pranked someone (he'd turned Severus Snape green and hung him from the Whomping Willow, with the help of James) McGonagall had threatened to have him clean the Slytherin Common Room the next time he misbehaved. I had a fair inkling that this might be seen as just that.

I grinned at the others. "C'mon guys, I think we should go. If we're not here when he wakes up, maybe he'll think the Slytherins did this. After all, he saw that Emm and Alice didn't do anything to him, and he probably won't connect the dots." Fabian poked at Sirius with his boot, looking wary. "I dunno, Liss, Black is pretty shrewd. What if he—" I cut him off. I was already thinking that myself. "We'll worry about that _if_ it happens. Now c'mon, I've a ten-inch essay due for McGonagall tomorrow, and after seeing our handiwork I don't think she'll be in a very forgiving mood."

With that, we left Sirius lying facedown in the corridor and headed off for the Gryffindor Common Room. It was now well after curfew, and if Filch caught us, he'd probably try and gut us with his sweeping brush. He hated Fabian and Gideon with a passion he usually reserved for the Marauders and laughter, and ever since we'd painted the second floor corridor pink, he didn't much like Emmeline, Alice or me either.

We were almost to the Common Room, tip-toeing around every corner in case Filch should pop out of a broom closet and knock us out with a bucket, when we heard the voices and footsteps. They were close, very close. We all froze, flattening ourselves against the wall. As Gideon led us along the wall towards an empty classroom, I strained my ears to listen to the voices.

"…Letter from Lucius a few days ago. Something about the Crawford thing, you know, over Christmas break…. Daniel still hasn't shown up at the Ministry…. His sister at Hogwarts… Plans for her…." Then another voice spoke. "Us? Regulus said she broke up with his brother… Obvious why… Hope he won't get in the way… Bella would be mad if we killed him… Maybe not though… Better not to take a chance…" My blood ran cold. I recognized those two voices vaguely, but in that moment, I was sure I knew who their owners were- Evan Rosier and Antonin Dolohov.

That was all I could stomach listening to. I knew I slipped into the classroom and Gideon closed the door after me. When he was satisfied with the lock, he and Fabian turned to look at me with realization and horror in their eyes. They must have heard Evan and Antonin too; they must have pieced it together. My behavior, why I'd broken up with Sirius, why I was such a physical and mental wreck.

"Oh Merlin, Lissa. What happened to you?" breathed Fabian in horror. My chin dropped to my chest, and I could feel the tears coming. Mary, Emmeline and Alice led me over to a chair gently, and I heard them sit down beside me. Fabian and Gideon sat in front of me. I sniffled softly, trying to pull myself together. They had heard too much, the Ministry were going to kill me if I told them, and the Prewetts would kill me themselves if I didn't. How long could one get in Azkaban for telling one's friends about how exactly your family had come about their deaths? If Bartemius Crouch had anything to do with it- probably at least ten years imprisonment without trial. God, I hated that man.

I took a deep breath before straightening up and looking the boys in the eyes. Then I began, barely making any noise. Everyone moved closer until they were inches away. "As I'm sure you've gathered, boys, something awful happened to my family over Christmas. Death Eaters, including Lucius Malfoy and the Lestranges, broke into my house and tortured us for hours. There was blood everywhere… My mother was screaming for them to stop, my father was already half-dead and knocked out… They tortured DJ and I then, until there was blood everywhere. They didn't kill me parents for what must have been four or five hours, but they left DJ and I lying on the floor, barely alive. I spent a few days at St Mungo's and went to stay with Marlene. I don't know where DJ went, it sounds like Evan Rosier has a fair idea. About a week after my release, Barty Crouch and the Head of the Auror Department showed up and warned me not to tell anyone what had happened. But I'm not safe anymore, not safe to be around. It should be obvious why I broke up with Sirius."

Fabian and Gideon were speechless with horror. "NO IT SHOULDN'T!" Alice screamed loudly in frustration. Everyone jumped, the Prewett twins snapping out of their dazed state. Outside the door, the footsteps had stopped and we could hear the two potential Death Eaters murmuring curiously mere feet away. We all exchanged looks of horror, and Emmeline and Mary silently slapped Alice on the arm in the same instant. I suddenly realized something horrible- we had left Sirius, unconscious and alone, in the corridor Evan and Antonin had been headed in. Unless some sort of divine intervention occurred, Rosier and Dolohov were either going to find Sirius or us. All I could think was _my fault_- this prank had been my idea, and without the prank none of us would be out this late, or in this kind of situation.

If it was al my fault, which it was, then I had to fix it. I motioned the others over to the teacher's desk at the front of the room, reaching for a quill and parchment. '_Stay here, I know how I can fix this. We can just leave Sirius out there unconscious, they'll find him' _I wrote. I could hear the beginning of Mary's protestations before Alice punched her in the arm to shut her up. I turned around to face the others, praying that they would understand and let me go. No such luck, of course. Fabian and Gideon wore identical masks of anger, and the girls stepped forward the slap me on the arm in the same instant, identical furious expressions washing over their scared faces.

I scowled at them. They were really forcing my hand here, and I was taking a major risk. If I was caught I'd probably be expelled, but the alternative- Rosier and Dolohov finding either Sirius or us- was much worse. I prayed that DJ had given me the right spell, and that I could do it non-verbally. "Sorry" I mouthed. Five of my friends stared back at me, confused. Then I cast the spell, and they fell to the ground, confusion etched on their faces. Thank God for Simultaneous Stunning Spells. It was such a pity that they weren't exactly legal yet. Oh well, the Auror Department and Department of Magical Enforcement had probably already figured out that I'd told at least Marlene, so if that was the case, then I was already on their shit list. I quickly transfigured the hardwood floor into a cushioned surface, to soften both the impact itself and the noise of falling bodies hitting the ground. I dragged my unconscious friends under the teacher's desk and out of sight. That done, I made my way over to the door, casting a Disillusionment Charm over myself as I went. I slipped out of the door silently, locking it behind me.

When I tuned around I was faced with Evan Rosier and Antonin Dolohov, mere feet away. They were both staring at the door that had just opened, looking very confused. I turned tail and started to run down the corridor to where we'd left Sirius as fast as I could. I knew I'd only have a few minutes before they realized what had happened and came looking for me. I only prayed that my charm would hold if they found me. If they saw that it was the same Melissa Crawford whose family had been tortured and killed by their fellow Death Eaters, I was dead meat for sure. I was left alive as a warning, but there was no warning that worked better than a dead body of a recent torture victim, left in the halls of the most celebrated magical schools in the world.

I could see Sirius's unconscious for sprawled across the floor further down the corridor when I heard the foreboding noise of Rosier and Dolohov's quick footsteps as they chased after me, correctly guessing which way I'd gone. I skidded to a stop at Sirius' side, my rubber-soled sneakers squeaking against the stone floor as I did so, the first mistake. The second mistake occurred as, bending over Sirius to check if he was still alright, I fell over and clattered to the floor loudly, multiple injuries from _the night_ connecting with the unforgiving stone. I groaned in pain involuntarily, and my Disillusionment Charm slipped, revealing my hunched but still quite recognizable form lying on the corridor floor. I was willing to bet that the two mini-Death Eater could already smell my blood as I listened to their enthusiastic shouts. Where the hell was Filch when you needed him?

"So, Crawford, how're Mommy and Daddy doing?" asked Evan Rosier with faux politeness. Gritting my teeth against a sharp pain in my ankle and shoulder, I snarled at him viciously. Gathering on my vast reserves of anger and emotional pain, I spat in his face. The congenial expression was wiped off of his face. He and Dolohov looked murderous, handsome faces twisting into sinister smirks as they raised their wands. Desperately, I scrabbled around on the floor for mine, only to catch sight of it lying on the ground, several feet out of reach. I actually moaned in despair.

Dolohov and Rosier were going to kill me, or come very close, that much was certain from the looks on their faces. I had to do something; I couldn't just roll over and let them win! _Think, Lissa, think! Okay, you're ankle's busted, you can't run, and you can't reach your wand either. You can't save yourself, but Sirius… Protect him, it's the least you can do after treating him so cruelly, even if it is for his own good in the end. If you can't protect yourself you might as well protect him instead, salvage what you can from this. You now, damage control. That's it; limit the damage. You can do this._

Summoning all of my strength and resolve, I bit my lip against the pain I knew would come and rolled over onto Sirius' prone body, just as the two Slytherins cast their spells. I landed on top of Sirius, and in the same moment was faced with a jet of ice-blue light that was horribly familiar. "_Silencio" _I muttered, instants before it hit. I could not scream, and I knew that without this spell, there was no way I would be able to hold back. Low pain threshold, you know.

The curse hit me, knocking the breath out of me. It was a few seconds before I actually felt the effects, but when I did, it was agony. I caught glimpses of Rosier and Dolohov, wands pointed at me, cruel sneers painted on their pale faces. It was like a thousand white-hot knives piercing every single spot on my body, like my blood was simultaneously boiling and freezing in my veins, like I was about to explode. Then the curse increased in intensity, and I lost the battle to remain motionless. I was writhing around in agony on top of Sirius, screaming silently. Agony hit me like a wrecking ball over and over again, and I wanted nothing more than for it to end. After all, who would miss me if I died? Wade and Harry Simmons, DJ, Lily, Mary, Emmeline, Alice, Marlene. Not a very impressive list. Maybe they'd be better off without me after all. I was nothing but a magnet for trouble in the form of bloodthirsty Death Eaters, and I wanted better for my friends.

Then, all of a sudden, the pain stopped and I collapsed in a sweaty, shaking pile on top of Sirius' still unconscious body. I could hear Rosier and Dolohov's sadistic chuckles, but I couldn't physically lift my eyelids to catch their expressions. Not that I really wanted to- I didn't need another reel of sadistic expressions to play through my nightmares. So I kept my eyes shut tightly, too afraid to open them even when I heard Rosier and Dolohov leave. After I was sure that they were gone, I could not stop the trembling that wracked my body, and even though I knew that they were gone, that I was safe, I could not get rid of the solid knot of fear in my stomach. Soon, thankfully, the last reserves of strength I had after the whole 'tortured' thing was used up, and the trembling ceased. No longer having enough energy to keep my eyelids open or maintain my silence spell, I fell into sleep sobbing softly.


	5. A Giant Slug

**Sirius' POV**

"Black, Potter, what _were_ you thinking? Did the two of you honestly think that nobody would notice you turned Lucian Bulstrode into a giant slug? I mean, what exactly was the reasoning behind _that?" _raved McGonagall furiously. James and I were leaning casually against the edge of a desk in her classroom, arms crossed over our chests while we maintained our blank, your-not-getting-nothing-out-of-us-lady expressions (with just the hint of a mischievous smirk to take the edge off). The reasoning- not that we'd ever tell this to McGonagall- was that Bulstrode was an asshole. A _Slytherin_ asshole.

"_Well?" _she snapped, making James and me jump. Oh shit, she really did expect an explanation. I'd thought it was a, what do you call it, _rhetorical_ thing. I jabbed James in the ribs discreetly, letting him know in the most painful way possible that he could take this one. It had been his idea after all, and he was a way smoother than me when it came to kissing ass. I'd like to pretend that it was a pride thing on my part, but that would be utter bullshit. My sense of pride had evaporated somewhere between the disastrous set of burnt orange dress robes my mother had made me wear for a Pureblood gathering (revenge for me having the audacity to verbally disagree with her 'Mudbloods should be slaughtered or at least imprisoned' philosophy in front of Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus) and the whole school finding out that I'd lost my virginity in a girls' Prefect Bathroom with the less-than-not-troll-like seventh year Amanda Hodgekins during the start of my fifth year. No, it was probably just that arrogance thing everyone was always going on about.

"Well, Professor, you see, the thing is, Lucian was displaying some very unlikeable tendencies that Sirius and I didn't agree with, and so we thought that we'd try and get him to stop, for the good of everyone else, you know. It was really just an unfortunate coincidence that the first spell we thought of was the Engorged Slug Hex. So you see, Professor McGonagall, it's all really just a huge misunderstanding" explained James eloquently, complete with a flawless angelic expression. I snorted so hard I almost lost a bit of brain. James elbowed me viciously in the side, and McGonagall just regarded me with an amused expression and a raised eyebrow. I hurriedly replaced my amused expression with one of absolute sincerity. If I say so myself, I could have rivaled any choirboy.

"I'm sure that it was, Potter, in yours and Black's deluded imaginations. We are, after all, talking about the same boys who insisted last year at Professor Slughorn's Christmas party, that the Professor wasn't really human, but a representative from the Marshmallow People of the planet Fatass. It is rare that someone manages to outstrip Xenophilius Lovegood in terms of odd personal beliefs. But now, back to the matter at hand. Potter, I believe you said something about Lucian Bulstrode displaying 'unlikeable tendencies'? What would these be, exactly?" McGonagall asked the question with her eyes closed; expression already resigned to whatever hopeless answers James would gift her with. I just hoped that she wouldn't make us clean out the Fire-Lemur enclosure for Professor Kettleburn again. I still had the scars from that.

"Ah yes, Professor" James replied earnestly. "He was being an asshole." While James might be able to say that with a straight face, I snorted out another little bit of brain just listening to it. McGonagall looked furious, nostrils flaring and hands fisting. She took a deep breath. "Potter, Black, you will both be serving detention with Professor Slughorn, for as long as he sees fit, as the two of you did injure one of his pupils. I shall, of course, be ensuring that he grasps the severity of your crimes. Run along now, I'm sure that you both have homework to do." With that, McGonagall turned on her heel and strode into her office.

I glanced at James, and we both cracked up. "_'He was being an asshole, Professor'"_ I gasped, clutching my ribs as I shook with laughter. James nodded, banging his fists off of a table loudly. We both roared with laughter. All of a sudden, I remembered that McGonagall's office was only a wall away. As I listened to her loud footsteps hurrying towards us, I grabbed James' arm and dragged him through the corridors. The bell had just rang and we were due in Divination with Professor Shipton, having missed most of Herbology due to McGonagall's need to yell at us. I still think that it had been a bit of an overreaction.

Divination went by quickly, and my mood darkened just as fast. Wade Simmons was in this class, as was Lissa, so naturally they sat together. I just know that she broke up with me for him. I mean, he has everything- Ravenclaw Quidditch Chaser, next year's captain, Prefect, perfect grades, good looks. Too good, boring. Fucking irritating, if you ask me. Ever since he'd hit James in second year at that Quidditch match, I'd disliked him. But it wasn't until Lissa and I finally started going out that I began to hate him. He was always hanging around her, talking to her, laughing with her, tickling her, hugging her… She was _my_ girlfriend, or at least she was before I possibly fucked it all up. He should have respected that and backed off a little, but apparently getting straight O's in your OWLS didn't guarantee that you would also receive the handy gift of self-preservation and stay away from people's girlfriends.

I really liked Lissa, I had since third year. She was just so, _cute_. With her glossy dark hair falling in soft waves around her cute little pixie features and glittering green eyes, how could anyone think otherwise? She might be a little short, but that just made her so much damn cuter. Not that the Lissa I knew was like some mindless goody-goody boring princess from some kind of Muggle fairytale. She had done her fair share of pranking, behind Evans and Simmons' backs of course, the freaking _perfect_ Prefects. She smeared cream cheese on anything edible that stayed still long enough, didn't care if she was sitting in class with bed-head, didn't care if she fell of her broom playing Quidditch and got muddy or chipped a nail, played Chicken with Fabian and Gideon Prewett after our Quidditch matches without the slightest whisper of fear. Lissa Crawford was like something from another world, so perfect, in my eyes, at least.

I just missed her so damn much! When we had been going out we'd spent so much time together- cuddling, eating, studying, doing homework, always together. I think I was going through withdrawals, I definitely had the moods. All I wanted was to know what I'd done wrong so that I could fix it. Lissa was the only girl I've ever really liked, and I just couldn't lose her, I couldn't! If necessary, I'd take out Simmons, too. I stole yet another longing glance at her, practically sitting on Simmons' lap, giggling at something he whispered in her ear. _'We're just friends, Sirius, don't be silly, of course I don't like him like that!' _Okay, I take that back. I'd just kill him anyway. Lissa had obviously changed her mind about the whole 'not liking Simmons like that' thing, but the really twisted thing was that I didn't even mind that much, once she came back to me. She had messed me up so much, but I barely cared.

X X X X

I was walking down to the Kitchens alone to drown my sorrows in Firewhiskey when Emmeline Vance and Alice Prewett, two of Lissa's best friends, ambushed me. I couldn't help but hope that they had something to tell me about Lissa, anything. I was a desperate man. "Sirius!" Alice squealed loudly, latching onto one arm while Emmeline took the other. I knew that they didn't like me like that, or very much at all, for that matter. No of the girls in my year and in Gryffindor ever had, except for Lissa…

"What?" I growled, plowing ahead to the Kitchens and the beautiful numbness of Firewhiskey. Emmeline and Alice dug their heels in stubbornly, and I ground to a halt reluctantly. I whirled around to face them, furious. _"What?"_ I snarled menacingly, praying that they would get the message and scurry off like everyone else did. No such luck, of course, as we were talking about two of the scariest girls in the year here. Emmeline and Alice never backed down from anyone, least of all me.

Emmeline grinned. "Now that we have your attention, Black, we really do need to talk to you. It's important and—" Alice cut her off, voice urgent. "It's Lissa, Sirius." Emmeline shot her an annoyed look before turning back to me. With another look to Alice, they both grasped my biceps and proceeded to drag me up a flight of stairs and onto another corridor. Then they started talking.

"Well Sirius, we're pretty sure that she still likes you a lot. We think that you were a perfect couple and—" Alice cut Emmeline off again. "We want the two of you to get back together, but Lissa's too stubborn. It has to come from you Sirius, or it won't happen at all." "WHAT IS IT YOU HAVE AGINST LETTING ME EXPLAIN, DIPSHIT!" yelled Emmeline at Alice across me. I winced at her high-pitched voice. "BECAUSE I DO IT BETTER, NIMROD!"

They continued yelling loudly, probably fracturing my eardrums, until fie minutes later, they finally came to the conclusion that they were both 'dipshits' and 'nimrods', something I wholeheartedly agreed with. Alice and Emmeline turned to me, smiling pleasantly. I was suddenly afraid. "Okay, Sirius" Alice began. "We're going to have a little chat" finished Emmeline. They then picked up the pace, dragging me along faster and faster, until I couldn't keep up with them and my feet were being dragged along the rough stone floor, toe-first. I cringed thinking about the damage to my last and already badly scuffed pair of trainers.

They hauled me around the corner, finally releasing my arms. I almost moaned in relief as the blood rushed back to my upper arms. Sweet, sweet circulation, I'll never take you for granted again! As we walked on in silence (so much for our 'talk'), I noticed that my shoelace was untied, so I quickly bent down to do it up. My fingers slipped through the laces again and again, and Alice turned around to gesture to me to hurry it up a bit. Emmeline just looked smug, like she'd always known that I couldn't take the truth that they were offering me about why Lissa had broken up with me. That just couldn't be true.

Flinging my stubborn laces aside, I stood back up. Unable to get the image of Emmeline's smug face out of my mind, I kicked out at the wall, hard. Pain ripped through my toes, they had to be _broken_. I squealed, the pain making my voice about five octaves higher than usual. I sounded like Regulus when his voice had been breaking. Oh humiliation!

I calmly set my injured toe back on the ground and continued on through the searing pain, like it had been my plan all along to fracture my left toes. Alice and Emmeline motioned for me to hurry up, looking anxious to tell me about Lissa. It was so cruel to make me wait, why couldn't they just have told me in the Kitchens, with Firewhiskey readily available to soften the bad news? God, but these girls could be _bitches_ when they wanted to be.

I was fuming as I stomped after them, one step away from the steam-blowing-out-of-my-ears phase. When I got like this, there were only two people in the entire world who could calm me down- James and Lissa. In this moment though, I only wanted Lissa. Only her. I hurried up, gaining on Emmeline and Alice where they waited by the tapestries of Egrid the Evil and Alfredus the Awkward. I was wondering what news it was they were going to tell me about Lissa when I glimpsed the four jets of scarlet light shooting out from behind the tapestries. Every thought vanished from my mind, leaving a blank slate behind. Then the four jets of scarlet light hit me in the stomach like sucker punches, and I doubled over before sinking to my knees. I felt almost…peaceful…as I blacked out, Stunned.

X X X X

Something was writhing on top of me, something solid and warm, familiar, somehow. I felt a sudden burst of concern, it seemed like the thing was writhing in agony. I wanted to get up and hold it, comfort and reassure it. None of these feelings made sense, but somehow I knew that they were right. I just couldn't move. I felt as though I was trapped, fully submerged in a pit of treacle. I couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't speak. But I could feel the treacle gradually depleting, and I knew that soon, I would be free.

I heard footsteps stomping away, and the thing writhing in agony on top of me started to tremble briefly, before going limp. With a sudden snap, I was back. I shot up, sending the body on top of me tumbling to the floor. Instinctively, I reached out to grab the limp body, pulling it onto my lap. It was only then that I looked down, past the tangled raven hair that covered the face. I brushed it away gently, revealing Lissa's unconscious face, full of fear and pain even in her unaware state. She looked so vulnerable and helpless. I was suddenly filled with immeasurable anger. How could anyone hurt her?

Evidently, someone had. All of the signs added up- Lissa had been tortured. Probably with the Cruciatus Curse. It looked like she had been trying to protect me as well. Stupid girl! I'd had plenty of first-hand experience with the Cruciatus Curse once or twice at home. The time burned into my mind the most: the night I'd ran away from home. Apparently, when your furious mad mother catches you sneaking out the back door with half of the family silver and everything you own, the thing to say is not "Fuck it, I forgot the last goblet. Get it for me, mother dear?" What little control she had had evaporated as she cursed me until I almost blacked out. The memory of Reg's horrified and terrified expression as he watched his older brother being tortured from the top of the stairs would haunt me until my dying day. However smarmy he had been as a fifteen-year-old, he hadn't deserved to see that. He'd probably seen, even done, much worse by now, though. I no longer recognized my baby brother.

I got up slowly, limbs stiff and creaking from my time on the hard floor. I held Lissa close against my chest and set off for the Hospital Wing. I'd definitely get _another_ detention, but Lissa was obviously worth it. She started to tremble again, and I picked up the pace, jogging through the corridors. If Filch decided to make an appearance, I would not hesitate to run him over and leave the eager beaver first years that got up for class at 5 a.m. to find him. It would be a slow death. Then Lissa stirred again, moaning softly in what sounded like pain. All of a sudden, sprinting full-tilt down the corridor while cursing like a sailor seemed like the only option.

**Lissa's POV**

I came to slowly, the world slipping in and out of focus as my eyes opened and closed rapidly. The first thing that hit me was the pain. It wasn't like the Cruciatus Curse- an all-consuming, burning-in-Hell kind of pain; but a constant, throbbing, unbearable ache that permeated my every pore. I moaned softly, hearing a barrage of unrepeatable oaths in return.

I jerked, opening my eyes wider until they almost popped out of my head. I was in someone's arms, close to their body. I was rushing forward at a god-awful speed, almost as if the person holding me was…running. The heavy pants that rocked their hard chest confirmed the running theory. I struggled to keep my eyes open, cursing Rosier and Dolohov and the instant I'd conceived of that damn prank in the first place. If it hadn't been for that blasted prank I'd be tucked up in bed right now, bruised, cut and bandaged, but still healthier than I was at the moment. I just hoped that Sirius was alright, that he hadn't woken up to find me unconscious on top of him, giving him what was likely the fright of his life… Dammit, Sirius! It could only be him carrying me right now, because my brother had assured me that the spell I'd used to Stun my friends probably _(hopefully)_ lasted for over an hour if they weren't revived. God, I really hoped that there weren't any gory side effects.

Back to the matter at hand- Sirius and the fact that he was currently sprinting through the Castle with me in his arms! "Sirius?" I mumbled weakly, unable to raise my voice above pathetic-damsel-in-distress-whimper-volume. _Urrgh! _He skidded to a halt immediately, staring down at me, grey eyes bugging right out of a chalk-pale face. It was a few seconds before he learned to operate his mouth again. "A-are you okay?" he stuttered. I nodded slowly, as though I was talking to an idiot. Sirius scowled.

"What the hell happened, Liss? I was just walking down the corridor with Emm and Alice, when suddenly I'm hit with four Stunning spells that mysteriously came out of nowhere. Then when I wake up my ex-girlfriend's trembling in pain on top of me until she actually passes out, curse marks all over her face. What the actual _fuck?" _

I winced at his harsh tone, but I knew that, beyond a doubt, I deserved every bit of his hostility. I didn't particularly want to explain, however, that I'd pranked him, leaving him unconscious and vulnerable in the middle of a deserted corridor, only to almost have him killed by a bunch of Slytherins who knew probably more about my parents' deaths and my brother's current whereabouts than I did.

"Sorry, Sirius. I'm grand though, really, thanks for the concern and help. I'll just be going now…." I attempted to wriggle out of his arms, but he used five years of Quidditch both as Beater and Goalkeeper to keep me pinned securely to his chest. "I don't think so, Liss. You're not going anywhere until I'm satisfied with whatever crap you decide to spew next! And for Merlin's sake, at least make it a little believable this time!"

Things were getting desperate. Sirius clearly wasn't going to let me go, my friends were all Stunned and neatly stacked up under some random teacher's desk, and Filch wouldn't help me if I was holding water and Mrs. Norris' tail was on fire (well, maybe, but you get the point). I had only one card left to play, and it would cost me dearly. Oh well, desperate times call for desperate measures.

"PEEVES! SIRIUS BLACK IS ATTACKING ME IN THE HALLWAY!" I screamed at the top of my voice. Sirius shrank back, hissing at the pain in his eardrums, face awash with horror. He started to sprint again, so quickly I'm sure he left skid-marks. But you can't outrun a poltergeist.

"SIRIUS BLACK'S A VERY BAD BOY, A VERY BAD BOY IS HE! HE GRABS GIRLS AT NIGHT, HOLDS THEM TIGHT, AND KISSES THEM 'TIL THE MOR-NING!" The loud hollering came from only a few feet behind us, and I recognized the voice all too well. For many, the voice of Peeves the Poltergeist was the last thing they heard before they went crashing through a trick step, getting covered in rainbow ink pellets, or, in extreme cases, discovering just how little Professor Johnston's giant mastiff liked to be woken by children being told the entrance to his master's office was a shortcut to the Charms classroom. That wasn't Peeves and I's relationship though. We had what you could call a mutual respect, in which I'd supply him with paintball guns and he'd rescue me from angry boys demanding answers in the middle of the night. It worked well.

"SIRIUS BLACK USES FIVE HAIR PRODUCTS, FIVE HAIR PRODUCTS, FIVE HAIR PRODUCTS! SIRIUS BLACK USES FIVE HAIR PRODUCTS, EARLY EVERY MOR-NING!" "Call. Him. Off" panted Sirius desperately. I just shook my head. "Not until you let me down." Sirius shook his head stubbornly and kept on running. I glanced back over his shoulder casually, winking at a grinning Peeves in the process. He was gaining on us.

"Sirius, I think he has a paintball gun—" "'Nuff said, Liss, it's every man for themselves! I'll send someone back for you! See you in the morning for my answers!" And just like that, my once-stubborn ex-boyfriend left me propped up in niche in some random hallway as he ran like hell from the paintball-gun-brandishing school poltergeist, screaming all the way.

Peeves stopped momentarily beside me, snorting and chuckling with mirth. "Would you like me to leave him off, Lissa-loo?" he asked, fingering his paintball gun longingly. Who was I to deny a poltergeist his paintballing time? "S'okay Peeves. You give him hell!" And with a quick salute, Peeves floated off to do just that. I leaned back against the wall and sank to the floor, blocking out the pain that had resurfaced, cursing and praying that my friends would be nice enough to look for me and bring me back to the dormitories after they recovered from my almost-illegal Stunning spell.

Remembering that I had Double Transfiguration first thing tomorrow, I pictured Sirius' hair. _McGonagall is a sexy beast! _At least some good could come out of a disastrous night, even if it was miniscule. My last thought before I fell asleep was for the whereabouts of the person who had given my the Stunning spell, my brother DJ. I had a feeling, call it siblings' intuition, that he was about to do something really, really stupid. Before I could think on the odd feeling any further, I was already fast asleep, able to do so without the nightmares for the first time in about a fortnight.

**Hello there, anyone who's reading this! I'm posting this at like half eleven at night instead of studying or sleeping (I have like a load of tests starting in two days and haven't studied at all yet!), do I'd really, really, really like it if you reviewed. Even just a smiley face, just to show that I'm possibly failing my summer exams for a good cause. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! ;-)**


	6. The Haircut

**Hey! Sorry this chapter took so long, but I had like a week of exams! *****Gags* Anyway… they're all over now, so I really hope I didn't fail anything. Studying properly and me just don't mix!**

**Thanks to the reviewers I've had so far: **siriusfanno1, IrisAmor, and the two Guest reviewers. **In case any of you haven't noticed, I 3 reviews! Enjoy the chapter! **

"_How about a round two for Daddy, Lissy? Would Daddy like that?" Bellatrix Lestrange taunted in a baby voice. "NO, NO! PLEASE, HURT ME INSTEAD!" I screamed, begging the sadistic monster that held her wand at my Dad's Adam's apple. She just smirked cruelly and shook her head slowly. "Not good enough, Lissy! We can't have people thinking that it's all right for Aurors to go around killing and capturing my friends, now can we? We also can't have little Half-blood sluts like you going around dating Purebloods like my cousin, can we, Lissa?"_

"_Please, I'm so sorry! My dad didn't do anything wrong, and I'll break up with Sirius if you want me to! Just please, please, don't hurt either of them! Please!"_

_Beside me, DJ came to, groaning. He shifted around on the floor briefly before being kicked in the side hard by Lucius Malfoy. DJ groaned, and Bellatrix whipped round to sneer at him. "Shut it, Danny boy. Can't you see I'm trying to talk to your sister?"_

"Bitch" _DJ gasped through the obvious pain in his side. Lucius kicked him again, but he bit his already-split lip to muffle his moan of pain. Bellatrix left my dad and walked over to where my brother lay. Cold fear for him twisted my stomach, and if I could have moved, I'd have thrown up._

"_Pardon me, Danny boy? What did you say?" she asked sweetly, wand inches from his throat as she smiled falsely. "Bitch" he spat again. "And my name's not _'Danny boy', _it's _Daniel _James_, Bella_."_

_Bellatrix's expression morphed into one of sheer anger at DJ's casual use of her nickname. I mentally pleaded with him to stop talking, stop making things worse. She'd kill him if he said another word, and I couldn't lose my brother._

"_You're gonna regret that, _Danny boy" _spat Bellatrix, raising her wand. I screamed loudly, hoping to throw her off DJ and onto me. Her eyes didn't even flicker over to me, fixed as she was on my brother. "You're gonna regret it" she repeated softly, aiming for his throat. DJ smirked crookedly, eyes sparkling with intense hatred and loathing. "No, _Bella,_ you're gonna regret it. You and every last one of your fucking scummy fellow groupies—" "_CRUCIO" _Bellatrix screamed, cutting him off. DJ bit his lip so hard that he almost ripped it off, thrashing around on the ground in agony. I screamed with him, trying desperately to reach Bellatrix and rip her wand out of her hand._

"_Not so fast, you little bitch," hissed Rabastan Lestrange, placing his foot on my right shoulder with great force. I heard a slight pop, and knew that my shoulder had been dislocated, not that it mattered. "DJ!" I screamed. Bellatrix finally stopped torturing him, smirking sadistically. DJ collapsed on the floor, a sheen of sweat mixing with fresh blood matting the dirty blond of his hair. The matted strips of hair fell into his blue eyes that burned with hatred, and he swiped them back impatiently. He was breathing hard, clutching at his ribcage with one arm. He turned his head slightly to make eye contact with me, shaking his head sharply. The message was clear: _Be quiet, I can handle this. Stay out of it, because you'll only get hurt.

_He turned back to face his tormentor, who was grinning down at him viciously. "I'm going to hunt down every last one of your filthy little friends and slaughter them like—" "CRUCIO"_

_They tortured DJ all night, until his blood ran warm across the tiles of the kitchen floor, lapping at my wrists. I was almost catatonic, paralyzed at the sight of my beloved older brother lying barely conscious on the floor, carved up like a chunk of bloody meat, but still smirking at the Death Eaters, threatening them in between the bouts of torture. I didn't know what the hell he was playing at, and to tell the truth, DJ probably didn't either._

_The last thing I heard before I passed out for the last time was DJ taunting Bellatrix, despite the fact that he had to spit out a mouthful of his own blood to do so, proud to the last. Our parents were already dead, and I was willing to swear on my life that we were next. I was numb, my mind blank of anything but pain. _

"_You're gonna regret that, Bella, I'll make sure of it."_

I jerked out of my nightmare, and suddenly I was falling. I hit the floor with a thud, the sound gently muffled by a thick carpet. I was in my dormitory. Thank Merlin for loyal friends who brought you back to your dormitory even after you've Stunned them with a borderline illegal experimental spell! Then a stinging sensation flared up along my right arm, both from the Potions incident and the torture session last night. I suppose anyone else would consider it a slight problem not being able to take notes in class or do their homework, but to worry about those things you had to actually do them regularly in the first place. I had always found better uses for my time, like making out with Sir- New topic, new topic, new topic! Mmmm. this carpet smells like citrus fruits, I need a shower; I should probably get out of here before my friends wake up and interrogate me.

I pulled myself off the floor, praying that I wouldn't groan in pain. Evan Rosier and Antonin Dolohov were _very_ creative when it came to torture techniques. It really shouldn't come as a surprise that they plan to go professional. I grabbed a clean t-shirt, pair of jeans, underwear and sneakers with most of the sole still attached (turns out that potion _did_ melt rubber… Ooops), and headed into the bathroom for my quick shower. Five minutes later I left the dormitory, fully dressed and bearing a schoolbag containing: my supply of Sugar Quills, a sheet of blank parchment, an actual quill, and an Arithmancy book. I sometimes felt like I'd missed a real opportunity not taking that subject. I just hoped that it was Mary's book- she was much more likely to forgive me for stealing it than, for example, Lily. The last time I'd 'borrowed' Lily's Potions book and accidentally dropped into a cauldron, she'd chased me around the Castle for two hours, and when she caught me, she'd hung me from the spire on top of Gryffindor Tower by the strap of my bra. No joke. I still needed to find a replacement for that; it had been my favorite one!

I was halfway out the portrait hole when I realized just how early I was. The Common Room was deserted; the sky outside dark, and I couldn't hear a single early morning sound. I glanced up at the clock that hung over the fireplace, and promptly received the shock of my life. It was bloody 5 a.m.! As far as I know, I've never seen earlier than 8:55, also known as five minutes before classes started. I'd had Divination first thing in fourth year most days, and the professor hadn't even realized I was in the class until I showed up for the end-of-year exams, when I promptly received a shitload of detentions, although that could have been because most people won't take kindly to you predicting their deaths in various ways for about ten minutes straight. I honestly thought I'd deserved a higher mark, I mean, I'd thought the 'I see a gigantic marshmallow eating your head, Professor', had been deserving of top marks. Of course, since the nightmares began, I _suppose_ I might have been awake this early before, but it was still a shock faced with proof.

Shrugging my shoulders, I climbed out of the portrait hole, and, as an afterthought, Summoned my broomstick after me. It was too early for breakfast anyway, and semi-healed broken ribs, several gashes, and multiple bruises weren't going to stop me from preparing to defend my place as Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. James would be proud.

I made my way out to the Quidditch pitch, wand at the ready in the case of any Crucio-happy Slytherins lurking in the corners. The instant I cleared the doors, I jumped onto my broomstick and shot straight upward into the sky. My right arm stung a little, and my ribs made it difficult to breathe, but I was doing fine. I swooped over the towers, touching the tips of each one. Then I headed for the pitch, where I practiced my totally useful flips, and bleachers flying. I then headed back up to the towers, specifically the Astronomy Tower, hanging upside-down off my broom. For the first time in ages, I was actually having fun. That was, until I tried to grab the spire and swing myself around it before flying away on my broomstick to get some breakfast.

Oh, I manage the swinging thing well enough; it was the flying away thing that didn't quite work out. As I reached out to grab the spire and swing around it, my broomstick fell out from under my legs, and I barely managed to grab onto the spire to prevent myself form falling after it. My beautiful broomstick plummeted about a hundred feet, where it landed, thankfully, intact. "DAMMIT!" I screamed. I had not, of course, taken into account my rather aggravating habit of dancing around as I yelled, which unlike just about everything else, did not desert me when I happened to be stranded at the top of the Astronomy Tower clinging on for dear life. As I watched in horror, my last remaining possibility of escape, my wand, slipped out of my robe pocket and followed my broomstick to the lawn, accompanied by a dramatic blast of arctic wind. Well, shit. Bloody freezing up here, too, actually. Just my luck.

**Lily's POV**

I was up, dressed and ready for class by eight o' clock sharp, as per usual. I was about to leave the dormitory and head down to the Great Hall for breakfast when I remembered the Transfiguration paper that was due today. I thought I might have loaned it to Lissa in the hope that she'd actually do some homework for a change, but to no avail. As far as I knew she still hadn't written it, and the paper was due in exactly an hour. It was such a pity really; Lissa was so intelligent. She could probably be top of our year if she really tried. No matter how much I begged, though, Lissa still refused to study or do homework any earlier than about 2 am on the night before it was due.

Sighing, I searched through Lissa's trunk quickly. I couldn't find my Transfiguration paper, but I did notice something odd. The pair of jeans and the t-shirt and sneakers Lissa always left on top of her trunk for the next day had vanished, as had her broomstick. Lissa herself was already gone, but I presumed she'd just gone down to the Common Room to finish up some homework, or down to the Kitchens to grab an early breakfast. We'd gotten used to not finding Lissa in bed in the morning, or screaming and crying at night from her nightmares, so I knew that she wasn't sleeping. However, if she had just gone to the Common Room or the Kitchens, then why had she taken her broom?

Oh Merlin, no. No she didn't. Forgetting all about my Transfiguration homework, I ran down the stairs, through the Common Room, out the portrait hole, and through the corridors. That idiot had gone flying, despite all of her extensive injuries! When Mary, Alice and Emmeline had come and told me about that stupid prank they'd pulled last night, I'd gotten so mad that I'd set five first-years' hair on fire with accidental magic. Of course, it didn't help that they'd told me as they, together with Fabian and Gideon Prewett (banes of my existence, together with the Marauders, of course), carried an unconscious and battered Lissa through the portrait hole and a ridiculous time in the morning. Marlene's face had drained of color at the state of her best friend, and mine had gone scarlet with fury.

They'd told us that the plan had been to Stun Sirius Black and write something suggestive on the back of his head, ruining his precious hair on the process, but had almost run into Evan Rosier and Antonin Dolohov in the corridor. Hiding in a classroom, Lissa had told the twins what had happened to her family over Christmas break, before Stunning them all instantly and running off. Mary had told me that after they'd recovered from her little spell (Emmeline, whose father worked in the Ministry, swore that the spell was illegal as it was only in the experimental stages) they'd gone looking for her.

Apparently, it hadn't taken long before they came across Lissa passed out asleep in a niche in some corridor. From what they'd gathered from her sleepy ramblings, Sirius had carried her that far after finding her on top of him, and then left her there with a protection spell cast over her before promptly sprinting away from a certain paintball-gun-wielding poltergeist at a million miles an hour. The protection spell they'd found out about approximately a nanosecond after they'd gotten within five feet of Lissa. Apparently being thrown backwards into a solid stonewall wasn't quite as fun as it sounds, even if you are as nuts as Emmeline and Alice. Fortunately, Fabian and Gideon had paid attention in the seventh-years' DADA class on Dark Magic, which Sirius was apparently an expert in. If it wasn't for the fact that Sirius regularly greeted his die-hard Death Eater relatives and family friends with the middle finger and a barrage of words he'd learned Merlin-knows-here, I'd swear that he was a Death Eater. Although I suppose he did have some admirable qualities. You know, somewhere. Deep, deep, deep down. As you may have guessed, there isn't a lot of lost love between Sirius and I.

I sprinted out the main doors, head whipping from side to side for any glimpse of Lissa so quickly that I almost got whiplash. There was no sign of her anywhere, but that didn't say much. Emmeline, Alice, Marlene and Lissa had spent much of our five years at Hogwarts 'exploring' places like the Forbidden Forest, the caves outside of Hogsmeade and the dungeons, while Mary and I had spent much of our five years at Hogwarts chasing after our mad friends. Over the course of two months (read: six night trips to the Forbidden Forest and a nasty troll encounter outside of Hogsmeade) in our fourth year, the injuries Mary and I had suffered trying to keep them out of trouble included: a broken leg, badly burnt fingers, poisonous dog bites, and a mild concussion (despite what Alice thought, the Whomping Willow does not like when you swing on its branches. It does, however, greatly enjoy throwing said people twenty feet into Hagrid's pumpkin patch). That was in _two months_. So you can only imagine what was going through my head at that moment in time with Lissa disappeared (hint: she'd gone unicorn-hunting again, maybe?).

I was rooting around in Hagrid's eight-foot cabbage heads (experimental, I hope) when I heard the first scream. "LILY!" I whipped round but saw nothing but grass and trees. Then I heard it again. "LILY! LOOK UP!" Following the directions of the mysterious yet familiar disembodied voice (irresponsible maybe, but still), I craned my neck and looked up, as per instructions. What I saw made my blood freeze in my veins. Lissa Crawford, one of my best friends since age eleven, was dangling by one hand off the spire atop the Astronomy Tower. Well. Shit.

**Lissa's POV**

"Th-thanks, L-Lily" I chattered, wrapping the cloak she'd conjured for me around my shoulders tighter. I'd caught a glimpse of myself in the surface of the Lake- bloodshot eyes, red nose, blue face. After all, I had spent a little over an hour at the top of a tower in the middle of January. Not exactly 50 degrees Celsius.

Lily just glared at me disapprovingly, and that was when the first sneeze came. Sneeze after violent sneeze tore its way through my sore nose, causing my small frame to shudder violently. I could barely hear Lily's murmured "Shit" over the loud buzzing in my ears. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier with every sneeze, and it was beginning to feel like a chore just to stay standing. "Whaz wrong –_achoo_- wiv me-_achoo_?" I managed to force out through the sneezes. Lily shrugged quickly, looking frantic as she began to lead me back towards the Castle. "I've no idea. Some sort of cross between the flu and hypothermia? We have to get you to Pomfrey, Liss, this could be really serious."

I nodded slowly, head feeling as though it was made of lead. I struggled valiantly to move my body another inch, but all of a sudden, my legs simply refused. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground curled up in the fetal position, shivering like a leaf. "Shit" cursed Lily. She looked down at me, looking practically catatonic with worry from what I could see. "I'll just call for help, Liss, 'kay." She pulled her wand out of her pocket and stared at it for a moment, as if unable to believe what she was about to do. "Merlin, I hope that I can still do this spell." But whatever spell she did or didn't manage was lost on me at that point, as I slowly began to return to the dark, cozy depths of deep, borderline-unconscious sleep.

**Wade's POV**

I was not a morning person. I did not like morning people, or bedhead, or breakfast food, not even sausage butties. So it shouldn't have been a surprise when, at about six in the morning, an odd, but not entirely unpleasant prickly feeling washed over me, catapulting me back into the world of the living reluctantly. My eyes opened, and immediately opened wider at the sight of a bright silver doe Patronus standing patiently at the foot of my bed. Just as I was about to scream, the doe opened its mouth, and low and behold, out poured coherent English. _"A little outside main doors. Lissa sick from the cold and looks unconscious. Can't mover her on my own. Please help. Lily Evans."_

I jerked awake and leapt out of my bed, quickly discarding my shorts for fresh clothes and a robe. Then I was off, sprinting recklessly through the multitudes of dedicated Ravenclaws who got up at 4 am to study. I might be a Ravenclaw, but I believe passionately that studying is reserved only for the month before tests. I can only imagine what the Gryffindors considered studying.

I pelted through the corridors and out the main entrance. It didn't take long for me to spot the girls- Lily's hair acted as a homing beacon. I've never in my life been so grateful for red hair. I skidded to a halt next to a frantic-looking Lily. "Is she okay?" I panted, gazing down panicked at the fragile frame of the girl I considered to be both a best friend and a sister to me.

Lily didn't even answer me, just looked up at me with hopelessness and panic swirling through her emerald eyes. I could see that the poor girl was barely coherent, not a mind able to come up with a rational solution or judgment. Sighing, I waved my wand twice in Lissa's direction. Then, taking Lily by the arm, I Levitated Lissa on her stretcher into the Caste and up to the Hospital Wing. I really hoped that I could get there without ending up having to Levitate Lily there as well. 'Cause judging by her uneven and shallow breathing, she was pretty damn close to a breakdown. Grasping Lily's shaking arm firmly, I picked up the pace.

**Lissa's POV**

I woke slowly, floating up through a dark tunnel and into the light of day. Suddenly, I came back to myself. I seemed to be lying on a bed, tucked in and dressed in some sort of gown or nightdress. My eyes were shut tightly, but I could hear clearly every little creak and whisper, wherever I was. I still couldn't figure that out.

Wherever I was, there was a lot of whispers and murmuring coming from close to my bedside. A soft hand pushed the hair back off my forehead before moving away again. "Relax, Wade… Lissa's fine… Wake up soon… Marauders can't find out… Lily'd be furious…" a familiar voice whispered. "Marauders should jump of the Tower… Best friend and I'm not leaving her… Lily _hates_ James anyways… Sirius should fuck off and grow up."

With those words, it all cam rushing back. Memories of the previous night, the prank on Sirius, being tortured by Rosier and Dolohov, getting stuck on top of the Tower, passing out from the cold after Lily had saved me… Everything. My eyes shot open, revealing six shocked people clustered around my bed, which I now saw was in the Hospital Wing. Emmeline and Alice stood at the foot of my bed, mouths hanging open in amazement (revealing the half-chewed Drooble's Best Blowing Gum resting on their multi-colored tongues), and Marlene was seated on bottom of my bed, face blank with shock. Wade and Mary stood at the right side of the bed, frozen, blocking my view of the next bed. Lily was absent from the picture. I croaked weakly with laughter at their shocked states, and they all snapped out of it to scowl at me.

"Awake, are we?" asked Wade with his eyebrow arched. I nodded meekly, suddenly finding my bedspread very interesting. Such a beautiful beige, intertwined with swirls of white and flecks of century-old vomit… "Melissa Katie Crawford, what on earth did you think you were doing? Flying alone at five in the morning, I mean, grabbing onto spires? What in Merlin's name possessed you to do such a stupid thing?" My head snapped up and my eyes almost bugged out of my head. Mary, sweet, obedient, kind Mary was scolding me angrily. All that time she was studying frantically a moth before the teachers told us to, all those times she'd freaked out when she found a spider on the dormitory wall, there'd been a little spitfire hiding in there. And a terrifying little spitfire, too.

"Yeah, Liss, really? Dipshit" said Emmeline, smirking. Alice smacked her on the arm. "She's been through a lot over the last few days, Emm, don't be mean." She turned to me and said, "I know it's been hard, Liss, but being a dipshit is not the answer." We all burst out laughing at Alice's much 'nicer' way of putting it. "I'm sorry", I mumbled. "It's just, with everything that's happened, I just wanted to get away form it all for a bit, have a relaxing fly. I shouldn't have been so careless. I'm sorry."

They all gave me a small smile and nodded, accepting my apology. I smiled back, looking around for a certain missing redhead. "Where's Lils?" I asked Mary. Mary shook her head, smiling to herself. "Lily was a it stressed when you started to feel weak, right?" I nodded. "Well, by the time you'd passed out and Wade had gotten her message and arrived, she was pretty much having a full-blown panic attack." She tugged Wade to the side and moved to stand next to Emmeline and Alice, revealing the occupant of the bed she and Wade had been blocking.

Lily Evans lay asleep under the sheets, a vial of what I recognized as a Calming Draught (don't ask _why_ I recognize it) on the nightstand. "Madam Pomfrey had to sedate her when she came in with you and Wade. She still hasn't woken up." I giggled at the thought. This was the same Lily Evans who had scolded Marlene and I for freaking out the day before our OWLs, Ms. Cool-as-a-Cucumber-in-the-face-of-tests. And what seemed to be a mild enough dose of hypothermia or whatever gripping her friend and she goes down like a stone into the depths of a panic attack usually more Marlene's territory, if you know what I mean.

Just then, Madam Pomfrey arrived, shoving a grumbling Wade into Mary to get to me, brandishing a vial of something greenish looking. "Awake, are we?" she asked, eyebrow raised. Was she taking classes from Wade or something? "Yes, Madam Pomfrey" I answered meekly, attempting the wide-eyed-and-innocent expression. She raised the other eyebrow. "Well, Ms. Crawford, I certainly won't presume to know what you're thinking, but it didn't come without consequences. You will probably feel very weak for a few days, and you may experience migraines or dizziness. This-" She thrust the vial of disgusting-looking liquid under my nose. I wrinkled said nose at the foul smell. "Is what you will be taking to dispel the worst of it. I know that it smells bad, and you can think of that the next time you want to play in the freezing wind at five on a January morning. Understood?" I nodded reluctantly.

Pomfrey left the vial on my nightstand before hurrying back to her office, obviously busy. I turned to my friends. Emmeline ad Alice were glaring at the vial, noses pinched and faces screwed up in disgust. Mary looked vaguely sympathetic, but Marlene and Wade, the two people in the world I'd always thought were most similar to me, were grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats. Assholes. I swear, if they didn't stop that soon, their morning pumpkin juices were going to taste a little… _different_, shall we say. On the bright side, they wouldn't have headaches or dizzy spells for like, a month.

**Sirius' POV**

I woke with a start at the feel of the freezing water being splashed over me. When I opened my eyes to find the culprit, I was greeted with the sight of a grinning James Potter and Remus Lupin. "Wakey wakey, Siri baby! It's a quarter to nine, class in fifteen minutes!" When had those assholes ever cared about being on time to classes?! They just wanted to cover me in semi-melted polar ice! "PRONGS! MOONY!" I screamed, leaping out of bed and running at them.

Laughing, they sprinted into the bathroom, me quickly behind them. Snarling, I lunged for James. Remus stuck out his foot and tripped me, causing me to face-pant onto the shower mat. Remus and James darted out of the bathroom. "Close the door, Wormy!" screeched James breathlessly. The door thudded shut, and I herd the subtle click as it was magically locked. "And you're not coming out until you smell better!" shouted James. "Yeah, Padfoot, seriously, you smell like absolute shit", shouted Remus. "I agree, Sirius, you smell—" "I GET IT OKAY?!", I roared, furious that they had soaked me just to get me to take a shower. Assholes!

I stomped into the shower, shedding my boxers (hey, at least I don't sleep naked like I know James does- don't ask, it's painful to remember). I spent a good ten minutes on my hair, conditioning it to perfection. I know that it was desperate behavior, but I was willing to do anything to get Lissa back, even if it meant that I had to go that extra mile. Then multiply the distance by like a gazillion. As for all the conditioning- if you're gonna be late for Transfiguration, you gotta do it it in style!

I hopped out of the shower and got dressed, then magically dried my hair. It was getting a bit long and shaggy, I should probably get it cut soon. I reached for my hair gel and squirted out a tiny amount onto the palm of my hand, before turning to the side so that I could see what I was doing in the mirror. I raised my gelled hand towards my hair, eyes fixed on the mirror, and turned sideways a little more. And then I screamed. Again and again and again.

"SIRIUS? WHAT'S WRONG, MATE?" James bellowed through the bathroom door. "MY HAIR, SOMEONE SHAVED SOMETHING INTO MY HAIR!" I screamed, punching the wall furiously, flecks of gel flying everywhere. Silence. Then, just as I was about to put my fist through the mirror, I heard Remus speak from the dormitory to me. 'Umm… Sirius? What exactly is wrong with your hair?" I screamed some more. "SOME ASSHOLE SHAVED 'MCGONAGALL IS A SEXY BEST' ONTO THE BACK OF MY HEAD!" Silence. Then I heard the unmistakable sounds of James' laughter and Peter snorting. I heard a sudden sharp gasp of pain, then silence. Remus spoke again, although I barely heard him over the sound of my fist shattering our only mirror. I may or may not have minor anger issues.

"Padfoot? Could you please come out and help me? I think James just broke a rib. He really needs to go to the Hospital Wing." I groaned. Only in my life would I wake up to find something shave into the back of my head, and for my best mate to laugh so hard he actually broke a rib. Maybe this was bad karma for that time I turned Rabastan Lestrange's head into a giant tarantula at our last Pureblood gathering in fourth year? Or that one time I tripped Bella when she was halfway up the aisle at her wedding last year? Or that time when… Yeah, I'm sure you get the message. I'm an asshole to my family, but they more than deserve it.


	7. The Fall

**Hello! Everyone having a good summer? Next chapter might be a bit late, I'm going to Italy for a week! Yay!**

**Please review *****Puppy-dog eyes* Even just a smiley face.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**Lissa's POV**

_Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan, and Lucius Malfoy above us from where we lay immobile on the blood-smeared floor. They were standing over my father, who seemed to be fighting unconsciousness in a display of mad bravery. If I were him, if I had been tortured for the last few hours, I knew that I would have given in to the blackness long ago, would have just cut my losses and let go. My father knows that there is no way that he can survive, that he can escape, and I'm sure that he knows that we'll all die. I really didn't know, then, why he insisted on spitting taunts and insults at the Death Eaters, fighting what he had to know to be a losing battle. The pure picture of defiance, mixed with more than a little bit of stupidity and lack of self-preservation._

"_How're Edith Carrow and Dimitri Greengrass doing, Bastard?" my father spat, bringing up flecks of blood that dribbled down his chin pathetically, where it mingled with the already-dried blood from a gash he'd sustained earlier. "My name is Rabastan" hissed the furious Pureblood, raising his wand menacingly. My father shook his head solemnly, something sparkling in his eyes. He turned briefly towards DJ and I, and I could have sworn I saw him wink with one sparkling green eye. Then he turned back to Rabastan Lestrange, who was practically quivering with rage as Lucius and Rodolphus held him back, and shook his head slowly. "No, we've met before, I know your name is Bastard."_

_Rabastan snarled with fury, and this time no one held him back when Rabastan raised his wand. "You sanctimonious _asshole_, Crawford! We have met before- when you killed my friend right in front of me! You asshole!" My father merely smirked. "Like you've never seen a dead body before, Bastard." Rabastan let out wild shriek. "CRUCIO!" he yelled, wand trained on my father. My father thrashed around for what seemed like an age, almost biting through his bottom lip to contain his screams of agony. My mother screamed for him, tears rolling down her face as she watched her husband being tortured. _

_I lay frozen on the floor as I watched my parents suffer. I had never felt so powerless. But when the Death Eaters had released him from the horrific curse without him having allowed so much as a moan to pass his lips, I saw something far from horror etched on DJ's face- pride in our father, defiance and resolve. I understood why our father had baited Lestrange, had withstood the terrible agony without screaming his lungs out. He knew that he would die, but had always taught us an important lesson he said he'd learned from his father, who had died in the war against Gridelwald defending his family. The lesson my father had learned as he looked back as his family fled to see his father standing alone, proud and defiant, finally fall, was: the secret is how to die, if you must. When everything else is gone, all you have left is your pride._

_Lestrange lifted the wand from my father, who had not woken up after the latest ordeal. I had known that this would happen- after all, how long could any human body withstand such pain without shutting down?- but it still came as a shock, a slap in the face. The end was coming for my father, and he would be gone, gone to from where he could never return. And I screamed, I screamed with all of the raw pain and agony that ripped through me. Beside me, close enough to touch but light years away, DJ lay silently, trying in vain to send waves of comfort telepathically. My mother shrieked again, a long, agonized cry._

_It was my screaming that drew the most attention, however, and before I knew it, my next scream had lodged in my throat like a gag as four of the most feared Death Eaters towered above me in a circle around my battered and immobile body. I was completely defenseless, and after seeing what they had done to my father, I knew that I could expect no mercy. _Hold onto your pride, tighter than ever when it's all you have left. _So, even as cold beads of sweat slid down my spine as I anticipated what would come next, even as someone yelled "Crucio!", I didn't scream. Waves of agony washed over me, but I didn't give in. I would button my lip until my last breath, if necessary, but I wouldn't scream. Hold onto your pride, when it is all that you have left…._

I woke screaming and thrashing, tears rolling down my face as I silently thanked Merlin for having had the forethought to put Silencing Charms on my bed's curtains.I almost had my friends convinced that the nightmares had gotten better, and making up screaming in the middle of the night would do nothing to consolidate my claim. Knowing that there was no way I'd be able to get back to sleep, I dragged myself out of bed, grabbed some clothes, and made my way to the dormitory bathroom for a quick shower. There was no way I would be going back to sleep. Even if I could somehow make myself, I knew that I wouldn't be able to bear watching my father's last moments again like it was on some sort of twisted Muggle movie reel.

After my shower, I pulled on a loose, long-sleeved t-shirt to cover the scars and marks, a long pair of denim jeans to do the same for my legs, and my favorite pair of scuffed sneakers. I didn't even bother buttoning my robe, instead letting it hang open on me like some sort of over-sized trench coat. After all, it wasn't as if I had anyone to impress. Maybe f I looked utterly repulsive, Sirius would finally give up his quest for answer in favor of getting as far away from me as he could. I waved my wand half-heartedly at my wet raven hair, drying it instantly. It immediately sprung into its customary messy, loose, wavy curls, falling to my mid-back now. Too tired to bother trying to tame it, I simply grabbed one of Marlene's hair ties from the bathroom cabinet and braided it back. Several wisps broke free to fall over my face, including my long side-fringe (aka- the worst decision of my life). I really wasn't bothered enough to redo the plait, so I 'borrowed' on of Alice's elastic shoestring hairbands to keep the hair off my face.

As I was pushing back the hairband, I caught sight of my previously injured right hand, the deep knife cut newly healed into an angry pink scar over the last week, thanks to Madam Pomfrey's miracle salves. It had been just over a week since the Potions incident and my failed prank on Sirius (he'd spent days glaring at everyone angrily for staring at his new hairstyle, which was still not quite gone, as a thoroughly-pissed off McGonagall had refused to get rid of it, as well as giving him only a week of detention, and none taking place in the Slytherin Common Room, much to my disappointment), and it had been a few days since I had ended up clinging to the spire of the Astronomy Tower.

I was still weak- both mentally and physically, but I was somewhat excited for the first Quidditch training session of the school year. As far as I knew I would retain my position as Seeker, so I hadn't bothered to go to the try-outs. I was severely sleep-deprived, bruised and battered from Rosier and Dolohov's sick torture session, and had been getting the occasional migraine or weakness spell from the side-effects of Pomfrey's recovery potion, but _nothing_ was going to keep me from playing Quidditch. Even if I had to jump out of my dormitory window, broomstick in hand, I would not lose Quidditch as well. It would, of course, be considerably harder to avoid Sirius at a training session, and she had noticed James, Remus and Peter giving her such suspicious looks that she knew it was only a matter of time before they were after her too. _Urrghh!_ I tugged at my side fringe in frustration. Why did everything awful have to happen to me?!

I stomped quietly out of the bathroom and gathered my schoolbag, leaving the dormitory and Common Room with it slung over my uninjured shoulder (I had hit the floor hard when Dolohov had taken over from Rosier with the Cruciatus Curse). I slipped out of the portrait hole, checking the clock on the way: 5:30. It was a Saturday, no one would be up for hours! Muttering angrily under my breath, I quietly made my way down to the Kitchens with drooping eyelids, probably with heavy purple bags under my now-dull green eyes. Time to figure out how much coffee the human body could ingest before combusting.

**James' POV**

Sirius, Remus and Peter were already gone when I woke up, beats me why though. Usually we all slept in until about one o' clock, getting up just in time for lunch. So why were they up? Then I caught sight of my broomstick laid out on top of my Gryffindor Quidditch uniform and Captain's badge. Oh shit! I'd scheduled the first Quidditch training session of the new year for- ten minutes time!

I rolled out of bed and threw on my Quidditch uniform (I slept naked), pinning the badge onto the front of my jersey. I ran into the bathroom to splash some water onto my face, brush my teeth and run some gel through my hair. Maybe Lily would finally take notice of me if she liked my hair. After five years of rejection, I already new that she didn't like anything else about me, so it couldn't hurt to try. Maybe she'd go out with me on virtue of my hair.

I raced out of my dorm, grabbing my broom on the way. The Common Room was empty and I was late, so I did the only thing I could: opened the window, and, clutching broom tightly, I jumped. I fell fast, air whipping my hair into my face. It was exhilarating, but I didn't much like the idea of spending eternity as a bloody smear on the Hogwarts courtyard, so I twisted onto my broomstick and flew off towards the Quidditch pitch.

I arrived just as the others were emerging from the changing rooms: Sirius, grouchy and eyeing a certain raven-haired girl and two redheaded boys; Lissa, heavy bags under her eyes and seemingly hyped up on what I presumed was coffee; Jon Bell, a muscular Chaser with incredible reflexes; Fabian and Gideon Prewett, anxiously avoiding Sirius' death glares in their direction; and Annie Christoph, the tiny tanned spunky third-year Chaser and daughter of a foreign ambassador to the Ministry.

"Hey guys!" I called, landing in front of them. Annie, surprisingly nervy for a thirteen-year-old, was first to answer. "Morning dipshit. It's ten laps of the pitch for being late, you know." I scowled. Behind Annie, Sirius smirked, Fabian and Gideon remained where they had been for a while, cowering behind Bell, and Lissa looked like she was about to keel over. I smirked back at her. "I'm actually the captain this year, Annie. So off with your ten laps, dipshit." Annie gestured rudely at me before setting off wearing a black scowl, while the rest of the team laughed. Lissa swayed a little before steadying herself on her broom. I saw Sirius notice this, and he scowled slightly, moving a little closer to be in a position to catch her if necessary.

I still had no idea why Lissa- sweet, quirky, happy, mischievous Lissa- would do such a cruel thing. Sirius would have- and still would- done anything for her. He had told me that the day he asked her out had been the best day of his life, second only to their first date, and I knew that if they'd been together even a few weeks longer, Sirius would finally have fully gotten over his slight fear of commitment and told her the truth- that he loved her. I knew that she cared deeply for him too, after two months with a awesome guy like Sirius, how could she not? But if she had ever cared at all, how could she have done something so unbelievably cruel? Lissa Crawford had ripped my best mate's heart in two, and he hadn't been the same since. He was this cold, bitter, person, and that wasn't what Sirius was really like. She had ruined him in a way, not telling him why she had broken up with him. Now every time Sirius saw her with a boy, especially Wade Simmons, he turned into this jealous, bitter creature.

I could tell, however, that something wasn't quite right with Lissa. Sirius had told me about the night the prank had been played on him, how he'd found her trembling on top of him, having been tortured. It seemed like she'd been trying to protect Sirius, like she still cared a great deal. Maybe she'd cheated on him, regretted it, but felt guilty enough to break up with him yet to ashamed to give a reason; or maybe something worse had happened. Whatever reason Lissa had for her cruel deed, I had to find out. I had to get my best friend back.

Annie jogged up to me, red-faced, panting, and looking she wanted to stab me through the eye with the end of her broomstick. I just winked at her and turned to the rest of the team, finally ready to start the training session. I was desperate to distract Sirius from his staring at Lissa, she'd notice eventually and avoid him even more, and I didn't think he could take that on top of everything else. I knew that he was worried about her- the bags under her eyes, her scrawny frame, her stumbling around, her apathy towards food. Anybody would be worried, but Sirius took it to a whole new level, obsessing over her constantly in class, at mealtimes, when she did homework in the Common Room. He was always watching her, as if he thought that she would run away and never return if he took his eyes off of her for an instant. He had said that that would be worse than watching her every day and knowing that she no longer cared.

"Okay team, everyone on their brooms. Jon, Annie and I will be passing the Quaffle to each other and shooting on Sirius, while Fabian aims Bludgers at us and Gideon deflects them. Lissa, you do your thing with the Snitch. Everyone got it?" They all nodded, throwing a leg over their brooms and kicking off into the air.

Sirius shot off towards the goal hoops while Jon passed the Quaffle to me. I performed a Sloth Grip-Roll to avoid one of Fabian's Bludgers that Gideon had missed and threw the Quaffle on to Annie. Annie dropped a few feet to avoid a bludger, an attempt that didn't exactly work, and Gideon swooped in to bat it away, second time lucky. Annie shot forward towards the goal hoops, and, meters away from Sirius, hovering in front of the right hoop, passed the Quaffle to Jon, who shot it at the left hoop. Sirius lunged across, catching the Quaffle on the tips of his fingers.

He flung it back out as far as he could, and I caught it into my chest. Gideon deflected a bludger Fabian had hit at Jon, and I passed the ball to Jon, who passed it to Annie, who failed to throw it past Sirius. The egotistical fool was smirking away to himself again, arrogant to a fault. I was grateful that he seemed to have managed to forget about Lissa, even if just for a few minutes. All of that bitterness really wasn't healthy.

**Lissa's POV**

I knew that James wasn't happy with me. It didn't take a genius to decode that look, but I understood. I had hurt his best mate without having the apparent decency to give a reason, but I had also glimpsed the curiosity in his glare. James knew me well, we had shared classes and a Common Room for over five years, and I knew that he would never have deemed me capable of doing something so apparently cruel without a good reason. Put together with my obvious lack of sleep and jumpiness, I was willing to bet the entire contents of my Gringott's vault that James knew that something was up, and I couldn't let him find out what. Azkaban was _not_ an attractive prospect, and Barty Crouch had left me under no illusion that that was where I would be headed if word got out about the Death Eater attack.

These were just a few of the thoughts running through my head as I flew around the Quidditch pitch, body bent flat against my broomstick for speed, eyes peeled for the telltale glint of gold that signified the Snitch. I was only dimly aware of what was going on above and around me, relying on Gideon Prewett to keep the bludgers off of me. Every few seconds, a twinge of pain would hit me, but after a week, I was practically recovered, so it wasn't too bad. Lily still hadn't wanted me to come, though, so I'd sneaked out. I _really_ hope she doesn't decided to go for a walk past the Quidditch pitch, because then James figuring everything out will truly be the least of my worries.

I did another lap of the pitch, flying so low that I could literally reach out and touch a blade of grass with my fingertips, but so quickly, that I'd probably break said fingertips. It was exhilarating. This was what I loved most about Quidditch, or more specifically, Seeking- the sheer adrenaline rush. It was probably enhanced by the caffeine high resulting from my six a.m. coffee binge (note to self: consume a shitload of coffee before the upcoming Gryffindor-Slytherin match).

When my lap achieved nothing, I aimed my broom upwards and shot up a few feet, circling the hoops on the opposite side of the pitch to the rest of my team. I scanned the air as the green of the pitch zoomed past me at top speed. It would have made anyone else dizzy, but I had been doing this since childhood. It was second nature. I sped around the pitch on yet another lap, more than a little frustrated when I failed to find the snitch. Normally I was a little more patient, but after over two weeks with under a total of twenty hours of sleep, forgive me if I was a little less so. I was tired, therefore I was pissed at the world in general. Deal with it.

I looked over at the rest of my team. Fabian aimed a bludger at Annie Christoph, who passed the Quaffle to Jon Bell instants before Gideon hit the bludger away from her. Just as Jon threw the Quaffle at Sirius, guarding the goal hoops, I caught a glint of gold out of the corner of my eye. The golden snitch was fluttering around ring of the goal hoop at the opposite end of the pitch to where tiny Annie Christoph had just scored a goal. I flew towards it at top speed, dipping to the ground until I could reach out and touch it, before shooting up twenty feet into the sky and towards the snitch.

I was feet away from the snitch when it started to flutter away at an alarming speed. I urged my broomstick to go faster, reaching out as far as I could. But the snitch was picking up speed, and my broomstick wasn't fast enough. I was beyond determined to catch that snitch, if not so I could leave before Sirius or James would get the chance to ambush me. Still urging my broom forward, I eased my legs up onto it until I was crouching like a cat on my broomstick. Then, adrenaline pumping through my veins like a million jackhammers, I stood on my broom like that picture of the Muggle surfer riding the waves in Australia, and reached forward for the elusive snitch.

It was getting further and further away, and I was getting closer and closer to falling off. The solution hit me like a lightning bolt, what did I have to lose anyway? Why the hell not? I took a deep breath and leapt off of my broom and onto the snitch, just catching it on the tips of my fingers before I began to fall. _Tuck and roll._ DJ had given me that advice when he'd taught me to fly at the age of three. I wonder, does the same theory apply when you're falling from a height of twenty feet? Time to find out, I thought, closing my eyes tightly.

**Sirius' POV**

James was throwing the Quaffle at the central hoop, so naturally I lunged out to block it. Just as the tips of my Keeper's gloves knocked it away, I caught sight of something on the opposite sight of the pitch that made my blood run cold. Lissa's broom was hovering twenty feet in the air next to the opposite goal hoops, and Lissa was nowhere in sight. Heart in my mouth, I lowered my eyes to the ground.

Fifty feet below me, a small, airborne, raven-haired girl was curling herself into a tiny ball. I urged my broomstick to fly to her faster, but she was too close to the ground. With a thump that made me shudder, Lissa hit the ground in her curled-up little ball and rolled onto her side. Her face was deathly pale, she clutched at her ribs with one hand, and she looked winded, but apart from that she didn't even seem to care that she'd fallen about twenty feet. Then I saw the snitch in her closed fist, and everything clicked.

Lissa had jumped off of her broomstick when it was twenty feet in the air to catch the snitch, when I knew that she was still sore from the attack a week ago. In _training_, for Merlin's sake! If she'd just missed the snitch, nobody would have minded, not even James, because training was for making mistakes, so that you didn't make them at a game. I landed a few feet away from her, jumped off my broom and ran over to where she lay.

Lissa was curled up into a little ball, clinging onto the snitch like it was some sort of life preserver. Contrary to what one would expect after such a hard fall, Lissa wasn't making a sign. She had quite possibly broken a few ribs, but she wasn't even whimpering. She was just lying there.

Suddenly, she started to stir. I stood back, reluctant to touch her in case I hurt her more than she already was, but terrified that she'd damage herself all on her own. "Lissa" I called out to her gently. She shifted into a sitting position, tucking her knees underneath her as she prepared to stand, ignoring me completely. She was crouching by now, and there I drew the line. "Lissa, stop it. You've just thrown yourself off of a broomstick twenty feet in the air, so stop moving around. What in the name of Merlin's soggy y-fronts were you playing at?"

My tone was quite harsh, but it wasn't like it was unjustified. She had been stupid, reckless even, and I wasn't going to sugarcoat the truth. Lissa ignored me, and before I could stop her she was on her feet. I noticed that she was a little unsteady, but then again she had been unsteady when she arrived for training. She was staring at the ground, expression as blank as a fresh sheet of parchment. She couldn't even look at me, and that hurt.

Then she shrugged. "Why the hell shouldn't I? I caught the snitch, that's what I'm s'posed to do. Just leave me alone, Black, I'm really not in the mood." And with that she staggered off to the Castle, ignoring me as I called after her. When I couldn't see her anymore, I slumped to the ground, hitting the earth with my fists until I feel like I've broken a finger.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see five pairs of feet hurrying over to me. Wiping away the angry tears I hadn't realized I was shedding, I looked up. My Quidditch team were standing around me, looking sympathetic, not overbearingly, but more like they felt my pain and wanted to help me. Even angry, sassy little Annie Christoph, who had always seemed to hate my guts, came over, patted me on the shoulder, and sat beside me. Then, one by one, every remaining member of the team- Fabian, Gideon, Jon and James, sat down on the grass around me.

"What did she say, Padfoot?" James asked softly. I shook my head, pounding the earth with my fists again until Annie reaches out, and, surprisingly strong for a thirteen-year-old, clamps her tiny hands over mine and makes me stop. "She dived off the broom to catch the snitch, when she knew that she didn't have to. From what Emmeline and Alice have told me, she does stuff like that all the time, puts herself in danger for no good reason. They told me that a few days ago, she went flying and got stuck on top of the Astronomy Tower for two hours in the freezing wind. She can't look me in the eye anymore, she avoids me all the time, she calls me 'Black' instead of Sirius. She doesn't even act like we're strangers, she acts like she hates me!"

Annie rubbed gentle circles in my back as I slumped over, forehead pressing against the cool earth as I shuddered. Everyone in Hogwarts knew that Lissa and I had broken it off, and that she had done it without giving me a reason. Everyone knew that I still had feelings for her, but up until now I hadn't told anyone just how much, not even Moony, Wormtail or Prongs. "What's wrong with me, with her? What happened?" I cried out, unable to keep it inside anymore. Still, no matter how upset I am, I'll never let anyone but my three best mates see me cry. Up until we'd gotten back from Christmas break, I could have cried in front of Lissa, too.

Then one of the Prewett twins spoke up, either Fabian or Gideon. I'm sure their mother was the only one who could actually tell the difference. "I'm sure that she still cares, Sirius. 'Bout a week ago when we played that prank on you- please don't kill us- she really just wanted you to go back to your old self. You're so angry and hurt all the time, and she cares enough to not want you to hurt like that. She wanted you to be happy again."

"I can't be happy" I replied evenly. "Without her. Somehow, I have to find out what happened to her, why she's so withdrawn and being so reckless, like she doesn't even care about living or pain anymore. If she's happy again, so will I. Will you help me?" Every member of my Quidditch team nodded solemnly. "I'll fill Moony and Wormtail in later, Padfoot, don't worry. Moony's smart, he'll be able to figure something out. Maybe I can even ask Lily—"

I stared at him, faking a blast of anger. "Can't believe you, Prongs, using my pain as a chance to get closer to your lady-love—" "No, no!" cried James, looing stricken. "I only meant that Lily might know, 'cause she and Lissa are really close—" "It's okay, dipshit, he's just messing with you!" laughed Annie. Jon leant forward and gave James a solid pat on the back, causing him to pitch forward and face-plant on the earth. Everyone laughed, but our laughter was subdued.

I turned to Jon, the oldest of our number, a seventh year (showing how skilled James is to get the captaincy when he's only in sixth year). "You were in school with her brother, right? He was in Gryffindor, I think. What's his name?" Jon thought for a minute, breaking out into a huge smile. "Yeah, I remember him. He left five years ago. Danny boy, I mean, Daniel James. All of the Slytherins used to call him Danny boy, something your cousin Bellatrix started. They really hated each other. I think he's in the Auror training program now."

So Daniel James and Bellatrix had hated each other, huh? Guess that explained why he'd never much liked me. Probably also had something to do with the fact that I could never remember his name. 'I'll owl him, get some answers" I announced. "Find out what's so different after Christmas break."


	8. Danny Boy

**Lissa's POV**

"No, Lily, I did _not _know that we had Astronomy homework, therefore, Lily, I did _not_ do it," answered Marlene, poking at her porridge with a spoon absentmindedly. Sitting next to her, I swallowed the last drops of my sixth cup of coffee in ten minutes. My taste buds were burned beyond redemption, but bloody hell, I hadn't slept properly in over a month, and I would sink down a small country's annual intake of caffeine or die trying.

Across from Marlene and I, Lily's face was steadily beginning to resemble a Muggle fire-truck. Then Marlene calmly picked up a glass and started to drink, and Lily finally lost it. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT? HOMEWORK IS A SACRED ACADEMIC PILLAR!" Marlene jumped up on the bench in shock at Lily's sudden outburst, coughing violently as she choked on her pumpkin juice. Then Lily's words sunk in and, apart from Mary (who, possessing the sense of self-preservation we all seemed to lack, merely giggled once out of Lily's line of sight), we all burst out laughing so hard that Emmeline knocked a plate of scrambled egg onto Benjy Fenwick's lap and Alice snorted boiling tea out of her nose (then spent the next ten minutes roaring in agony in a very unladylike fashion). Most of the Gryffindor table had heard her too, and they started to laugh every bit as hard as we were. Lily went even redder and stared at her knees for a long moment, but the laughter refused to die down.

Finally, as the Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw Houses got in on the joke and joined in with the Gryffindors in mocking Lily's passionate plea to Marlene on the part of the most precious homework, and were all laughing as well. "C'mon, Mary, let's leave these useless _failures _to chat about all of the other pieces of homework they _haven't done!" _She took Mary's arm in an unbreakable grasp and dragged the poor girl to her feet and started down the Hall. _Help me, _Mary mouthed desperately to us over her shoulder, and Marlene shook her head as the rest of us (and her) shook with laughter. Mary turned back to us and, raising her free hand, extended her middle finger towards us, a gesture we were more than happy to reciprocate.

At half past eight, the Marauders stumbled into the Great Hall, rubbing half-closed eyes and running hands through hair with more than a touch of bedhead. Leading the pack was Sirius, looking every bit as handsome as he always did (and by always, I mean any time after about 12 am.). His bright silver eyes found mine immediately, and I dropped my gaze to my (seventh) cup of coffee. The Marauders settled at the end of the Gryffindor table, ignoring the astonished stares of just about everyone in the Great Hall. Suddenly everyone was a lot more observant, afraid that they might be the victim of the Marauders early morning prank (because why else would they get up before noon?) and over at the Slytherin table, Severus Snape disappeared in a mad rush out the door. Something about going to the Library, he shouted over his shoulder to his friends. As if.

The Marauders _did _seem to be waiting for something, though, but I could tell that it wasn't a prank. They seemed to be staring up at the windows, so unless they were waiting on the owls to come and bomb us with rainbow tie-dye like they did last year, they were waiting for a letter. I forced myself to turn back to my coffee. Alice, Emmeline and Marlene had kept up a steady rhythm of telling me exactly how stupid I was for breaking up with Sirius at least five times a day, and the last thing I wanted to do was to let them see me staring and up the ante to ten times a day.

Some time after my eighth coffee, or at about a quarter to nine, the post arrived. Emmeline, Marlene and Alice watched eagerly as Alice's owl, Mercury, swooped down over the Hufflepuff table and interrupting Joseph McMillan's speech on the superiority of his study plan. By crapping on his head. We all burst out laughing at the sight of his angry red face. He stood and started to make his way over, drawing his wand, but we still couldn't stop laughing. "We spent-the last two-weeks training-Merc to-do that!" gasped Alice through tears of laughter. "So that's why none of you would let me copy the Charms homework!" I laughed. Emmeline laughed so hard she actually choked, and Marlene and Alice smacked her energetically on the back until she flew forward onto the table, missing her bowl of porridge by inches. "As if we did it anyway, Liss! Merlin, you're hilarious!" gasped Marlene, so weak with laughter that she was slumped over onto my shoulder.

McMillan stormed over to us, and being the polite teenagers we were, we turned around to greet him with shit-eating grins. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOUR FUCKING BIRD FUCKING SHIT ON MY FUCKING HAIR! FUCKING BIRD!" he howled at the top of his voice, waving his arms around wildly. Marlene laughed until she cried and buried her face in my shoulder. Alice and Emmeline were hysterical, laughing so hard that they couldn't breathe properly. As I was the only one left who still possessed the ability to use my vocal cords, I answered Joseph.

"You must really like the word 'fucking', McMillan. Certainly use it a lot anyway. Only problem is, I don't think Professor McGonagall likes it quite as much as you do, which might be why she's currently storming over here with a face like she caught you eating her hamster."

The angry redness fell from McMillan's face like water, leaving behind a terrified look on a white face full of fear. His lower lip trembled in fear, like he was about to cry, and then he took off towards the doors at the end of the Hall at a full sprint, McGonagall hot on his heels. She was surprisingly quick on her feet for someone of her age, which had to be considerable. "STOP RIGHT THERE, JOSEPH MCMILLAN! HOW DARE YOU USE SUCH FILTHY LANGUAGE?!" McMillan, needless to say, did not stop. He actually sped up, something he would regret in the very near future. Just as McGonagall opened her mouth to yell after him again, Joseph sprinted right over Sirius' outstretched foot and face-planted into what looked to be James Potter's 'conveniently and coincidentally placed' bowl of scrambled egg (which would be almost believable, if everyone ate breakfast off the floor).

I have never laughed so hard in my entire life as I did in that moment. And if only there hadn't been total silence in the Great Hall at the time, maybe less people would have stared, not that I cared. I actually laughed harder, delighting in the rare moment of happiness. Through my tears of laughter Sirius caught my eye, giving me a quick nod and wink so lightning fast that I almost missed it, and then I realized that he had done this for me, to make me happy. Damn Bellatrix Lestrange to the deepest pits of hell where she belongs, because no one should have to deny the person they really care about every day, especially when they're like Sirius! I gave him a small smile back, finally calming down enough to pat the choking Marlene on the back (she'd been eating a kipper when McMillan went down).

McGonagall was pulling McMillan up off the floor by the neck of his robe when she caught sight of the copy of the as yet unread Daily Prophet on the table in front of Sirius, whose delivery I could only assume had prompted him rousing before noon. As her bespectacled eyes scanned through the article, her furious face drained of color, and in her state of shock, she dropped the unfortunate McMillan. Clearly curious as to her reaction, the Marauders swung around in the seats to glance at the newspaper. They all had similar reactions, pale faces, slack jaws. Everyone else in the Hall who had a subscription to the Prophet read the first page of his or her newspaper, eyes bugging out in shock before they promptly turned to whisper about it in their friends' ears. I glanced down the table at the Marauders. Remus, James and Peter seemed to be muttering about something, probably the article, while Sirius was watching me carefully, concern and horror warring for supremacy in his eyes. I quickly broke eye contact and looked around for a copy of the Prophet to find out what all of the commotion was about, and what exactly it had to do with me.

Fortunately, Emmeline's owl flew into the Great Hall at that precise moment carrying a newspaper, which I promptly grabbed from beneath Emm's nose. The second I laid eyes on the front page, my heart stopped and my entire body froze up. I could feel Sirius' burning gaze focused on me, as well as those of Emmeline, Alice and Marlene, but I could hardly breathe, never mind look up. I dimly registered Lily and Mary racing into the Hall and skidding to a stop beside the other girls, a copy of the Prophet clutched in Mary's shaking hand. The article took up the entire front page, and the title was printed in large, underlined letters for maximum impact. Everything slowed down as I read the article, even as I could feel the stares of most of the student body on the back of my neck.

_Head Auror's Son on Dark Wizard Rampage_

_Daniel James Crawford, a twenty-one-year-old formerly enrolled in the Auror training program, the son of Head Auror, Daniel Crawford (currently on sick leave), has been confirmed to be one of the main participants in a duel with several prominent Death Eaters, ending in the death of Atticus Carrow, cousin to known Death Eaters, Alecto and Amicus Carrow, at the hands of Daniel James. _

_The duel, which took place in a graveyard in a suburb of London, happened late at night, thus meaning that it went largely undetected by Muggles living in the local area. Death Eaters known to have taken part in the duel include Amicus and Alecto Carrow, Lucius Malfoy, and Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange. Crawford took on the Death Eaters alongside Harold Simmons and Jasper Crawford (a cousin of Crawford's), aged 21 and 19, respectively._

_According to members of the local wizarding community who witnessed the clash, the three young wizards, all formerly trainee Aurors, fought bravely and skillfully. As one wizarding resident, John Foley, commented, "One can only imagine the strength needed to survive a six-on-three clash with such feared Death Eaters. The older Crawford boy and the Simmons lad had about three years of Auror training, but Jasper Crawford, I've heard, is only nineteen, scarcely a full year out of Hogwarts. The three of them are either extremely courageous and skillful, or very reckless and stupid, but I'd definitely be of the opinion that those three lads should be very proud."_

_While this may be the view Mr. Foley, it is one that Mr. Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, does not share. "I am appealing to members of the wizarding community to come forward with any information about the whereabouts of these three young wizards: Daniel James Crawford, Harold Simmons, and Jasper Crawford. As none of these wizards have qualified from the Auror training program, they do not have the authority to deal with Death Eaters. We have heard from a reliable source that these young wizards are actively seeking out dangerous Dark Wizards to engage in combat with them, and such vigilante behavior from untrained members of the public will not be tolerated. They are endangering the lives of those around them as well as themselves, and as such are in breach of magical law and Auror protocol, and as such their dangerous behavior cannot and will not be allowed to go unchecked."_

_Witnesses stated that when a Magical Law Enforcement squad arrived on site to break up the duel (unfortunately the surviving Death Eaters escaped), the three wizards refused to surrender to them and be taken into custody for questioning. According to members of the squad, the three wizards stated their intentions to continue to hunt down and engage in combat with other Death Eaters to the death. They are now a target of the Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and have been declared fugitives from justice by the Ministry of Magic._

_Daniel James Crawford's father, Daniel Crawford, is Head of the Auror Department, and his mother is Melissa Crawford, a celebrated Healer at St. Mungo's. His younger sister, also named Melissa, is a sixth-year Gryffindor student at Hogwarts. _

_Harold Simmons' parents, John and Gloria Simmons, are both Aurors. His younger brother, Wade, is a sixth-year Ravenclaw student at Hogwarts._

_Jasper Crawford's parents, Alicia and Robert Crawford, were both Aurors, deceased for over ten years. Both met their deaths during the war against Grindelwald, leaving the young Jasper with no other family than that of his cousin, Daniel James. Jasper spent six months overseas as part of his Auror training, only returning shortly after Christmas._

_Due to the young age and incomplete training of these young wizards, one can only guess as to how long they will survive. Currently, their families refuse to release a statement as to their opinions about their sons' activities, but one can only presume that any family would prefer if their sons were safe. The Ministry of Magic urges the young wizards to turn themselves in to the Ministry before it is too late, as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is not known for being lenient with his enemies._

I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't speak. _"I'm going to hunt down every last one of your filthy little friends and slaughter them like—"…. "You're gonna regret that, Bella, I'll make sure of it." _It looked as though DJ had done his level best to keep his word, killing Atticus Carrow and escaping with his life. Why had he brought Jasper into it, though? Jasper had lost enough already, the last thing he needed was to be hunted like a dog cross-country by the most evil wizards of the day. Don't get me wrong, I was proud of both of them, but I still thought that it had been incredibly reckless of them. DJ had been tortured, had watched our parents die in front of him, but this did not have to be Jasper's fight. However, I knew him well enough to know that my cousin would never back down or give way. He was cursed with the same unwavering pride as my father and DJ, and I feared that it would be the death of them both.

It was only then that I remembered the third wizard involved- Harry Simmons! _Wade! _Swallowing my own fear for my brother and cousin, I looked over to the Ravenclaw table, searching for Wade. I found him at the end of the table with his shocked friends, Greg and Nate, reading and re-reading the front page of the Prophet as though he couldn't believe what was right in front of him. Although he must have been terrified for his brother, he didn't show it. Wade's handsome face looked like it always did- strong, confident, and just a little bit cocky. Not unlike a certain Sirius black, actually, except that whatever tiny amount of over-confidence Wade possessed, Sirius had in spades. (Let me provide an example: Towards the end of our fifth year, before Sirius had moved in with the Potters, Sirius and his parents started to argue even more so than usual. When his mother sent him a Howler, I can only presume that she was expecting, at worst, a strongly worded letter from her son in response. In this case she did indeed receive the strongly worded letter from her son, except that the son had been Regulus and the letter ha detailed Sirius' scandalous recent exploits with most of the Muggle-born girls willing to have him. Because Sirius Black blatantly and unrepentantly believed that he was God's gift to women, and that, fine specimen of masculinity he was, he shouldn't even bother to hide this belief. Asshole.)

I took another look at the front page of the paper. Above the headline, there were four pictures: one each of DJ, Jasper and Harry, and one of the scene of the aftermath of the duel (cracked headstones, dead and burned trees, scorched earth. Not pretty.) The picture of DJ had been taken a few years ago when he had been on the winning Quidditch team for the House Cup, and, although he couldn't have been more than sixteen when it had been taken, he still looked almost exactly the same. Slightly sallow skin tone, shaggy dirty blond hair, baby blue eyes, strong build. Almost the exact opposite of my malnourished bird appearance.

The picture of Jasper seemed to have been cropped out of the same picture as DJ's, as they had both been on the Gryffindor Quidditch team together for a few years. Jasper looked similar enough to DJ, apart from a few subtle details. Jasper's hair was fairer, more of a straw color than a dirty blond, but every bit as messy. His eyes were a warm chocolate brown, one of the first things most people noticed about Jasper. Where DJ's shone with mischief and mirth, Jasper's were less… wild… more restrained. My cousin knew how to laugh and joke around like nobody's business, but unlike DJ, he always new when to stop. He was more of a reliable person, when it came down to it, not that I loved DJ any less for his crazy and unpredictable nature.

Harry's picture had also been taken from an old Quidditch photo, the only sort we really bothered to take at Hogwarts unless you discovered the twelve uses of dragon's blood at age thirteen or something equally as spectacular. We had class photos every now and then though, I supposed. Harry looked very much like Wade: tall, strong, lightly tanned, blond hair, freckles, and blue eyes. He was very strong looking, but the pair of large wire-rimmed glasses he wore gave him away for a slight nerd. Well, he had been a Ravenclaw after all.

Seeing the pictures of my brother and cousin only forced me to remember how much I missed them. They were all the family I had left, and now it seemed that they were stupid enough to try and rob my of what little I had left by being so damned _stupid_. I'd write to them, but I didn't know where they were. I'd run to them, but I didn't know how to get passed the school gates. I'd fly to them, but the last time I'd tried that I'd crashed into one of the school's invisible wards. I felt so…useless. I was forced to stay here, safe (apart from the wrath of certain Slytherins… _cough… _Rosier and Dolohov…_cough…_), while the last of my blood relatives ran around the country basically putting their lives at risk in order to take pot-shots at the most dangerous wizard alive, all while being chased by the Ministry of Magic.

Ministry of Magic… well, _shit. _Barty Crouch had straight up told me that if I so much as hinted at what had happened to my family over Christmas break, I would end up in Azkaban faster than you could say _hasta la vista baby _(where I should actually be by now, by rights). Obviously, he'd presumed that as an adult, DJ would be smart enough to realize that what went for me went for him as well. Obviously, he'd never met DJ (him regaling us with how he and Jonathon McKinnon had blown up Mad Eye's desk and sent the Ministry into a two-hour lockdown came to mind). So whatever about Jasper and Harry, if DJ was caught he was going to be in the deepest shit imaginable. The thing was, DJ was so stubborn that he'd probably known about the penalties involved and gone ahead anyway. I groaned, sinking down in my seat and holding my face in my hands.

"Liss, are you okay? You haven't really moved that much since you started reading that article. Lily and Mary showed me their paper, do you want to talk about I with us?" asked Marlene gently, laying a concerned hand on my shoulder. She sounded uncertain, and I wondered just how bad I had looked to make her sound like that. I turned around to face my concerned friends. As I moved I caught sight of Wade doing the same thing I was about to, reassure, his friends that he wasn't about to break down in the middle of breakfast. In that moment I almost wished that I was Wade: less relatives to lose, no irritable Barty Crouch hanging over his shoulder. Man, did my life suck! Oh well, time to reassure my friends that I wasn't going to spontaneously combust.

They were all staring at me, watching the every twitch of my facial muscles with hawk's eyes. "I'm okay. It was just a bit of a shock, but I'm okay now." My voice started to shake towards the end, and judging by the look on Lily's face I'm sure that my little speech had been anything but convincing. Their concern was overwhelming, bringing every drop of horror I'd felt in the last month combined back until it was washing over me in a tidal fear of pain I could only just stand against. I needed to get out of here before I broke down in front of everyone. I knew that Sirius especially, would never let that go.

Lily beat me to the punch. "Do you want to go somewhere, Liss? I suppose… we can skip class if we really have to." I really appreciated Lily's offer, knowing that Lily valued attendance highly. So, apparently, did Benjy Fenwick (still covered in Emmeline's scrambled eggs), who saw fit to let out a snort of laughter at the thought of the great Lily Evans skipping class. Unluckily for Benjy, however, Alice saw fit to deliver a swift but sharp smack to his head. Benjy left the table scowling and muttering about _"annoying, violent women." _Suffice to say, my sympathies did not stretch to poor abused Benjy in this moment, as I was currently trying to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks.

I nodded in response to Lily's question. "Yeah, please, that'd be good" I choked. Marlene and Mary helped me up while Lily cleared a path through the crowded Hall with her 'Prefect authority' (her words not mine), Emmeline and Alice bringing up the rear with the flask of coffee I'd filled earlier and my schoolbag that was devoid of anything but a piece of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of my trademark rainbow ink. You know, 'cause books are for losers. I closed my eyes as we passed the Marauders eyes, but while that may have blocked out the sight of Sirius, it couldn't block out his words.

"Is she okay?", I heard him ask, voice full of anxiety and concern for me. I clenched my eyes shut tighter, my whole body tensing up. If I didn't get out of here soon, Sirius, full of concern and care for me, would be the straw that broke the camel's back. It seemed that my friends understood this. "She'll be fine, Black, now can you move?", I heard Lily snap shortly. I also heard James' dreamy sigh. If we didn't get out of here soon, I wouldn't be the only one to snap. I could practically feel the animosity towards James radiating off Lily. "Fine", Sirius answered, "But I'll be checking on her later."

"You will mind your own business, Black. You won't take one step towards Lissa without her say-so, or I will personally castrate you with a rusty kitchen knife. Got it?" I don't know whether Sirius backed off after Lily's threat or if she forcibly made him (I wouldn't be at all surprised), but either way our path was suddenly free of obstacles. Before I knew it we were in our familiar old dormitory, where I crumpled onto my bed and finally let it all go. All of my hurt and pain from the last month poured down my face like tsunami waves, and throughout it all my friends were there for me, patting my back and whispering soothing words to me. Mary even gave me some of her precious chocolate, which I could tell took great effort. Mary's chocolates were like her babies, so I sincerely appreciated the gesture, stuffing my face with chocolate until slowly the pain began to dull. My friends surrounded me, caring and supportive. Like family. It was good that I had them, because at this point it looked like they would soon be all I had left.


	9. The Screaming Match

**Hello again! Sorry if this chapter's late, but I made it longer than usual to make up for it. How are you liking the story so far? Is Lissa too Mary-Sue-like? Is Sirius realistic? Tell me what you think so I can improve. Enjoy! **

**Sirius' POV**

It had been over a week since I'd written to Danny Crawford to ask what the hell might be wrong with his sister, and there had been no reply. Of course, I sort of understood once I laid eyes on the front page of the Daily Prophet once I'd finished tripping up McMillan (it had been so long since I'd heard Lissa laugh properly). Clearly, Danny Crawford had had other things on his mind other than replying to my letter, like dueling Death Eaters and taking down Atticus Carrow. I couldn't help but let out a sigh of admiration- what I wouldn't give to be out there, actually _doing_ something worthwhile instead of being stuck safe in Hogwarts while my cousins ran amok and murdered innocents. Then I looked down the table at Lissa, remembering that this was her brother, her cousin, on the front page of a newspaper, headlining a story about how they had fought deadly Dark Wizards and intended to do so again. How could I have forgotten how this would affect Lissa?

She was sitting with Marlene, Alice and Emmeline at the other end of the table, frozen and pale, gaze fixed on a copy of the Daily Prophet she held tightly in her hands. Half of the Great Hall was staring at her, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have noticed if we set off a Dungbomb on her shoulder. I itched to get up and see if there was anything I could do to help her, but I knew better. For reasons still unknown to me, I was the last person she wanted to be near at the moment.

Although it took great effort, I turned away from Lissa and joined James, Remus and Peter's conversation. "Merlin, I just can't wrap my head around it. I mean, Jasper Crawford graduated at the end of our fourth year, right? I never thought he'd be the type…." Remus trailed off, unsure of how to finish. "I know what you mean, Moony. I was on the Quidditch team with Jasper for a couple years, and he was always brave and a good team player, but I never thought either of those qualities extended _this_ far" James explained, gesturing towards the newspaper that lay on the table in front of Peter.

"I totally agree with you, James", Peter gushed eagerly. I rolled my eyes. "Of course you do, Peter," I said with a smirk, before continuing, throwing in my two cents. "You're right though, James. The Jasper Crawford I remember would never just snap like it seems he has, something must have set him off. It's the same with Danny, probably. There was most likely a catalyst, a spark somewhere. I don't remember Simmons that well because, as the Prophet says, he was a Ravenclaw, but if he's anything like his little brother, he may be a girlfriend-stealing asshole", I spat venomously, sending a scorching glare over to where Wade Simmons sat at the Ravenclaw table reading his paper with a numb expression, his two idiot friends Nathan and Gregory looking more than a little worried. If I didn't hate Wade Simmons to beyond the point of redemption, I'd hope for his sake that they were better friends than they were Beaters. James lay a calming hand on my shoulder, and I turned back to my friends and forced myself to calm down enough to get back on track with what I'd been saying.

"Well, as I said, I never knew Simmons all that well, except for the fact that he was always very close with Danny Crawford. I think they used to hang around with Jasper and his friends sometimes as well. They were like brothers, Danny and Harry Simmons, would probably have died for each other. So I'm guessing that whatever has Danny and Jasper so riled up is probably the same thing, and Harry is willing to join them for the sake of friendship. It's all I can come up with anyway."

They all nodded thoughtfully, and I grabbed an apple. Beside me, James was scoffing down three rashers, six sausages and a couple of fried eggs. Normally I would have been doing the same, eating my weight in cholesterol, but I just couldn't stomach it this morning. "Sausage, Sirius?", Remus offered, holding out a dish piled high with greasy meat products to me. _When did I become such a health snob? _"I waved it away, shaking my head. "No thanks, Moony. Just don't really feel like it this morning, you know." He nodded understandingly, Remus always understood. I turned back to Lissa, not even bothering to make my little stalker session seem less obvious. To my horror, Lissa was sobbing, tears rolling down her cheeks as her whole body shook. Anxiety formed a cool fist in my chest. _How could it have affected her this badly? The Lissa I thought I knew would have been _proud_ of Jasper and Danny. _This reaction only reinforced my suspicions that whatever had brought on this change in Lissa, was the same thing that had brought out the Death Eater-bloodlust and lack of self-preservation in Harry Simmons and Jasper and Danny Crawford.

As I watched Lissa and her friends, Alice Prewett delivered a swift smack to the back of a laughing Benjy Fenwick's head. Fenwick cleared out of there pretty quickly, muttering under his breath angrily as he shoved past us and out the doors. Further up the table, Lily was leading Mary McDonald and Marlene McKinnon, who were supporting Lissa on either side, Alice Prewett and Emmeline Vance bringing up the rear with Lissa's schoolbag and a flask. As they neared us, I turned around on the bench to face them, swinging my legs out in front of me to block their path. "Is she okay?", I asked anxiously, scanning Lissa's tear-stained face desperately for any reassurance that she would be okay. Her eyes were closed tightly, but tears were still leaking out down her cheeks. Lissa had always seemed so strong and full of life, so it broke my heart to see her look so helpless.

"She'll be fine, Black, now can you move?", snapped Lily. Oh Merlin, no. Lily was close and she had actually spoken, two of James' triggers for Lily-Evans-adoration-mode. Just as I'd suspected, he let out a long dreamy sigh. I was sure that if Lissa, one of Lily's best friends, wasn't a complete mess behind her, what would have been left of James would have fit into his pumpkin juice goblet. "Fine", I answered finally, desperate to get her away from James before she blew. It would be hard to find another Chaser and captain at such short notice, and a new best mate would be even harder to find. "But I'll be checking on her later."

Lily bared her teeth at that one, positively snarling at me. James looked like he was in heaven, eyes wide as he worshipped Lily, a goddess in his eyes. "You will mind your own business, Black. You won't take one step towards Lissa without her say-so, or I will personally castrate you with a rusty kitchen knife. Got it?", Lily snapped viciously. I was about to argue, desperate to scrape what little pride I had left after our little encounter off the floor when Lily brought her wand out. Quick as lightning, she non-verbally cast a Silencing charm on me before kicking me in the shins so savagely that I screamed silently and unconsciously jerked them out of her way. Lily held her head high and led her little group of friends out of the Great Hall. In that moment, I had absolutely no doubt that she would castrate me with a rusty knife if she caught me near Lissa, who I highly doubted would give me permission to check on her. I would just have to be more…_discreet_… about it. If only that was something I was good at.

**Fabian Prewett's POV**

"Harder, Gid," I screamed at my brother as the Bludger we were passing between us fell short after he'd hit it. We were practicing Quidditch, both to get James Potter (a.k.a. Captain Bighead) off our backs, and because McGonagall had said that if she saw us in the corridors one more time this evening we'd be cleaning up after Professor Johnson's fearsome mastiff (who the fuck calls a mastiff Cuddles? I tell you, I'd quite like to cuddle it around the neck. With an anaconda). "That's what she said!," he yelled back, giving me the finger with a wild smirk. With an identical mischievous smirk, I aimed my bat and walloped the Bludger back over to him. It whistled towards him at the speed of light (I know, I _am_ good), veering slightly upwards and to his side. Gideon leapt at it, jumping right off his broom to swing his bat and hit the Bludger with almighty force. As he started to fall, he grabbed onto his broom with his fingertips and hauled himself back up onto it in time to volley my next shot.

Usually we would have practiced with Lissa, and since she started going out with him at the start of the year a couple of months ago, Sirius. However, ever since we'd came back after Christmas break Lissa had been under a cloud (or a thunderstorm) and Sirius had been gloomy and aggressive. He'd taken to hexing Wade Simmons in the corridors (not that Wade told Lissa, I'm sure) more than he did the Slytherins, and I'm sure Severus Snape hadn't had such a relaxing month since before first year. I missed Lissa, and I was sure Gideon did too.

We hadn't really talked to her since that awful night of what would surely go down in history as The Most Catastrophic Fail of a Prank Ever, where she had told us about how her family had been tortured and her parents murdered by Death Eaters, before she had Stunned us with what I knew to be an experimental jinx (so glad I didn't have two heads is all I can say), ran out to find an unconscious Sirius, and judging by the state in which we'd later found her, she'd been tortured. Then we'd had to carry her unconscious/sleeping form back to the Common Room, where we'd encountered the Dragon Prefect herself, the gorgeous and terrifying Lily Evans (everyone had learned to view Lily's beauty in a purely objective light, or faced the wrath of James Potter and co. in a dark corridor late at night without witnesses).

Disastrous and all as our last meeting had been though, I still missed Lissa like crazy, and I knew that Gideon did too. He was, after all, my identical twin brother, my best friend since the moment we'd been born, a person I knew that I couldn't live without simply because I'd never had to and didn't know how to. I knew Gideon better than our mother and father did, better than he knew himself. Nothing had ever been able to break us apart (thankfully we had a slightly different taste in girls), and I knew that nothing ever could. I'd stake my life on it.

When we graduated at the end of the year we wouldn't part then either. We'd both decided to join the Order of the Phoenix, both of us feeling the same way about standing up for our beliefs. We had to be some of the biggest blood traitors there were (except maybe for our big sister Molly's husband, Arthur Weasley, who was Muggle-mad). Blame the over-blown sense of self-righteousness on Granddad Prewett, who'd constantly drawn our attention to the huge plaque that hung over his fireplace, detailing a quote from some old Muggle poet with a name Gideon nor I'd ever been able to pronounce. _"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality."_Anyway, enough about my personal beliefs.

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, FABE, AT LEAST TRY TO DO IT BETTER!," Gideon yelled after I'd aimed a shot badly and he'd had to chase the Bludger fifty feet to the right in the air. I snapped out of my haze of daydreams about our future to shout back, "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Gideon laughed sarcastically, before belting the Bludger back towards me so forcefully that hitting it back almost knocked me off my broom, something that by the smirk on his face I could tell was deliberate. "GID! You could have killed me, you eejit!" "Nah, man," he replied with a cheeky grin (identical to mine, I'm sure), "Then I'd have to take all of the blame for the portable swamp we put in the Divination room by myself." Brotherhood.

**Emmeline's POV**

When one of your best friends is trying to stifle her sobs by burying her head in a pillow having spent the last hour few hours crying for her parents, the two times she'd been tortured, her runaway reckless brother and cousin and her friend's older brother, her forced break-up with her boyfriend, said boyfriend's inability to accept said break-up and his rather dickish way of dealing with it, and her constant fear and sadness, how are you supposed to feel?

Angry? Sad, tearful, depressed? Sympathetic? Pity? My insides were a maelstrom of these emotions, each warring for supremacy. Lissa had always been one of the strongest people I know. Perversely, so had Sirius, and now both through fault and no fault of his own, he was one of the reasons she was breaking. Watching Lissa hold that pillow to her like it was a lifeline, sobbing into it like her heart was breaking, was like watching my world, everything I'd ever established or taken for granted, be turned inside out and back to front, flipped upside-down completely until I no longer knew exactly where I was anymore.

"Chocolate Frog?," Alice offered, waving a brightly wrapped sweet under my nose temptingly. Alice's way of dealing with emotional distress was eating as much chocolate and sweets as she physically could without getting sick, something she somehow managed to accomplish without blowing up like a balloon. Oh, how I envied her and her perfect little figure. "No thanks," I replied. Even if I hadn't been a little concerned about my weight, I wouldn't have been able to eat anyway, _my _way of dealing with emotional distress.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Lissa resurfaced wearing a wobbly smile paired with puffy red eyes. "I'll be okay now. Thank you so much, guys. I really don't know what I'd do without you. Curl up into a ball and die, probably." Her voice caught a few times, but somehow she never broke. That was one of the things I most admired about Lissa: when she went down, she got straight back up with a smile; she'd keep running until her legs gave out beneath her; she couldn't accept that defeat was possible. Not that everything about Lissa was perfect, oh no. She was brutally stubborn to the point of insanity, she sometimes couldn't accept reality, and she sometimes failed to see someone else's point of view. Fortunately, her unwavering loyalty and the fact that it was plain to see that despite her falling well short of perfection, she was at least doing her best, usually helped overcome the negative traits.

We all forced a stiff laugh at Lissa's comment. Then we all moved forward as one and smothered her in a humungous hug, pinning her to the bed with our combined weight. "GERROFF ME! CAN'T-BREATHE!," Lissa laughed, gasping. "Geez, Lissy, it's almost like you don't love us anymore," Alice pretended to weep. Lissa pulled a face and stuck out her tongue. "Tell you what, Al. I'll love you if you give me a Chocolate Frog." Alice tossed her a full, unopened packet of them with a wide grin. "Anything to make you love me, Lissy!" Lissa stuck out her tongue before opening the bag and stuffing a Frog into her mouth. Then she caught sight of her puffy red face in the wrapping and grimaced. "I'd better go clean my face in the bathroom." She turned to Mary and held the sweets out to her. "Hold these for me?"

Mary nodded eagerly, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Lissa handed over the bag of chocolates and left the room. Mary immediately dove into the bag of chocolates and started to shove them into her mouth. Something I may have neglected to mention: while Alice may have be a compulsive comfort eater, Mary was a chocoholic 24/7. "Don't eat them, Mary, they're for Lissa," Lily said slowly, approaching the curly-haired girl who was currently holding a bag of chocolates to her chest like it was her firstborn child. "Remember Lissa? She's been very sad, so Alice gave her those chocolates you're holding to cheer her up. You wouldn't want to make her sad again, would you?"

Mary's bottom lip wobbled like that of a small child as Lily approached, hand outstretched for the chocolates. "Yeah, Mary. C'mon, give Lily the chocolates," I murmured soothingly. Alice decided to pipe in. "Go on, Mary. Hand them over slowly, on three. One… Two…" "GIMME THE CHOCOLATES MOTHERFUCKER!," Lily screamed wildly, leaping the few feet to knock Mary onto Alice's wrapper-strewn bed vengefully. Mary squeaked in terror as her hands flew up to protect her face, and handily enough, the chocolates went flying three feet through the air to knock Marlene (who'd been stealing a quick nap on the floor so we wouldn't notice she'd been asleep- Marley's odd philosophy) on the head. Marlene woke with a sharp squeal and shot Lily and Mary a deadly glare. Lily climbed off a terrified Mary and sat on the opposite bed rather sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders when she saw our incredulous stares on her. "Well, it worked, didn't it?"

Now, of course, may be a good time to mention Lily's philosophy in the face of a crisis: _Rip off the Band-Aid, and gentleness is for pussies. _Usually, this meant that Lily was a good motivational speaker, great to go to for a pep talk, but positively terrifying in situations like this. We all sat in silence on the beds until Lissa came back, me, Alice, Marlene and Mary terrified and Lily slightly sheepish. Lissa looked a little confused but seemed to shrug it off. I did notice her 'subtly' checking under her covers for dead bugs or the like, courtesy of me, Alice and Marlene. Well, to give the girl credit, it _is_ something we would do.

"What time is it?," Lissa asked, pulling fresh unwrinkled clothes out of her trunk. Marlene pulled her watch out from under her bed. "Half six." Lissa shrugged off her robes and swapped the t-shirt she was wearing for a clean deep purple one. "Great, we haven't missed dinner. I'm starving." We all murmured in agreement; no one had wanted to leave Lissa in the state she'd been in, even if we weren't much help for consolation, so we'd all missed lunch and hadn't eaten since about nine in the morning. I, for one, was starting to see why Mary had been about to steal Lissa's chocolates.

Lissa left her jeans on, slipped her robes back on (not bothering to tie them of course. The only other person I knew of off the top of my head who did that was Sirius Black), and shoved her feet into the scuffed purple Vans I knew she called her 'lucky Quidditch shoes'. Better than James Potter's 'lucky Quidditch socks' I suppose, considering he told everyone that he hadn't washed them since his first match in second year. "Ready to go," Lissa said, interrupting my memory of last year's victory party for the Quidditch Cup, when James had managed to knock McGonagall out cold with just the stench form his near-petrified socks when she'd come to break up the party at two in the morning.

We all left the dormitory once Marlene had fixed her bedhead, and headed for the Great Hall. Merlin, I was _dying_ of the hunger, and by the sounds of it, everyone else was too. I swear, we passed a first year Hufflepuff and our stomachs grumbled so loudly he ran away screaming, thinking that it was Peeves after smuggling a baby dragon into the Castle. Still, _Hufflepuff_ first year.

When we finally reached the Great Hall, dinner was in full swing. We had another half hour to cram as much into our mouths as possible. I hoped all of the roast potatoes hadn't been eaten, they were to _die for. _The Marauders were sitting at the Gryffindor table, all but Sirius shoving huge forkfuls of food into their mouths, Remus somehow managing to eat like a pig _and _do his Transfiguration homework. Sirius seemed to be looking for something or someone, and when he laid eyes on Lissa, it looked like he'd found them. I shot him a deadly glare, but I held out little hope that it would stop Black, stubborn toe-rag he was.

I didn't think that Lissa was right for breaking up with Black without giving him a good reason, but he was making it very difficult to make m feel sorry for him. He was acting like a petulant child throwing a tantrum because his favorite toy had been taken away. Lissa was my friend and I would stand by her, even if she wasn't totally right. If Black didn't grow up and get a life very soon, I wouldn't bother trying to convince Lissa to talk to him. I did my very best to convey this via a chilling glare, but he was well able to glare back. Insufferable fucking asshole!

**Lissa's POV**

I was doing my best to stay out of the Marauders line of sight as we looked for somewhere to sit, when I saw someone waving at me from the Ravenclaw table. Wade's friend Nate was beckoning me over, Wade and Greg apparently not having seen me yet. Behind me, Emmeline was glaring knives at Sirius, so I thought now might be a good time to go reassure Wade that, although I'd missed Divination, I was still alive. Not that was scared of Sirius or anything. Not at all.

I waved back at Nate, gesturing that I'd be over in a few minutes. I tapped my friends on the shoulders, tugging Emmeline's robe to snap her out of her glaring match with Sirius. It was quite terrifying to watch, the way Sirius' stormy silver-grey eyes were burning almost black with anger, and his whole body shaking with barely suppressed fury. To be fair though, Emmeline seemed every bit as angry, looking like she was seconds away from punching his lights out.

"I wanna talk to Wade for a sec. Do you wanna come?" "I think that'd be best," Marlene muttered out of the corner of her mouth, nodding to Emmeline's angry shaking form. "I'll get her," Alice muttered, "C'mon, Marlene, I need some muscle." I snorted at that, turning to Lily and Mary with a questioning look. "We'll follow," Mary muttered discreetly, "But someone should probably make sure that Sirius calms down and doesn't kill Wade when he sees you going over to him. See you in a few." "Thanks, Mary, Lily. See you." I hurried over to the Ravenclaw table, where Nate, Greg and Wade had made room for me. I dropped myself down in between Wade and Greg and spared a glance for my friends over at the Gryffindor table.

Oh Merlin, no! "Oh Merlin," gasped Wade, echoing my thoughts exactly. "What is she doing? She's yelling something, I can't hear what though…," said Greg, scratching his head in curiosity. "No, I'm getting some of it, mate," said Nate, craning his neck forwards to get closer to the sound of Emmeline's screeching voice. Alice and Marlene were struggling to restrain Emmeline, who was nose to nose yelling at a shaking Sirius, himself held back by the combined efforts of James, Remus and Peter, all of whom were red and sweating with the effort. Lily and Mary were trying and failing to force themselves in between Sirius and Emmeline, doing their best to try and reason with the two screaming teenagers.

"Yeah, me too. I can hear a bit of it now that the Slytherins have finally quieted down," Greg said excitedly. I looked over at Wade, who met my eye and grimaced sympathetically. I could tell that he knew exactly why and about what Emmeline was shouting. I was sure we'd all hear it in a minute, as almost everyone in the Great Hall stopped their conversations and turned to stare at the spectacle by the Gryffindor table. Greg winced, turning to me. "Your friends got a right mouth on her," he commented. I just watched the scene in horror, locked into place.

Emmeline was struggling against Alice and Marlene, and Sirius against the other Marauders as they yelled at each other at the top of their lungs. As I watched, Sirius' wild attempts to get free sent Peter flying three feet over the table, where he smashed into Joseph McMillan at the Hufflepuff table. And they were yelling too, so loudly I wondered at their impressive lung capacity.

"MY RELATIONSHIP WITH LISS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, _BITCH!_," Sirius yelled, vein throbbing in his temple. "SHE'S ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, _ASSHOLE!_ AND THE WAY YOU BEHAVE, I CAN'T BLAME HER FOR BREAKING UP WITH YOU! _I_ WOULD!," Emmeline screamed. "HOW _DARE_ YOU! IT IS _NOT _MY FAULT WE BROKE UP, HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST—" "I FUCKING DARE ALL RIGHT, BLACK! THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING 'CAUSE SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU, YOU'RE EVERY BIT AS SPITEFUL AND HORRIBLE AS THE REST OF YOUR SCUMBAG FAMILY!"

Most people in the Great Hall drew a simultaneous stunned breath, and there were more than a few yells of opposition and choice expletives from the Slytherin table. Sirius was bright red, fists clenched and face twisted into a grimace of fury.

"I AM NOTHING LIKE THEM, AND I NEVER WILL BE! YOU BITCH, YOU ABSOLUTE-" But whatever else Sirius had been about to say we would never know, because at that moment McGonagall, already halfway down the Hall and moving at a remarkable speed for a lady of her age, had cast a strong Silencing Charm on both him and Emmeline.

McGonagall didn't yell or scream at them, but her words were so sharp and the Hall so silent that we heard them without a problem. "Mr Black, Ms Vance, how _dare_ you put on such a display! I had credited _you_, Ms Vance, at least, with a bit of maturity! Have you _anything_ to say for yourselves? _WELL?!"_

Chastised for probably the first time in both their lives, Sirius and Emmeline hung their heads. The guilt I felt for being the spark for this was immeasurable, but how could they have been so stupid? I had known that Sirius was angry and that Emmeline had a short temper, but I had never thought that it would come to this. I turned to Wade beside me, whose shocked face mirrored my own. "I-I can't believe they just did that," I whispered. Wade pulled me into his side, putting a arm around me comfortingly. "Don't worry, Liss. It's not your fault, they should have known better. It'll be okay." I didn't think it would be, but I didn't get a chance to voice my views, because McGonagall was talking to the whole Hall.

"I hope that none of you ever decided to put on a childish display such a the one we have just witnessed. I will not stand for this, and the perpetrators of this event and those of any like it in future will be severely punished. Now, Mr Black, Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, and Ms Vance, Prewett, McDonald and Evans may make their way to my office." Her eyes swept the crowds of children and teenagers who had subconsciously gathered in a ring around her, until she spotted me, frozen in place at the Ravenclaw table nestled into Wade's side. "And Melissa Crawford may also join them in my office. Maybe then we can get to the bottom of this. The rest of you, back to your dinner!"

I stood up slowly, still a little shocked. "Are you okay?," Wade asked in a concerned voice. It suddenly hit me- I should be okay. Plenty of girls broke up with their boyfriends, I wasn't the only orphan nor the only victim of the Death Eaters in the world, and Wade wasn't falling to pieces at the thought of his brother on Voldemort's hit-list. I was okay, and even if I wasn't yet, I would be. Until then, I'd just have to put on brave face, keep going and do the best I could. "I'll be fine," I answered Wade, swinging myself up off the bench. I slowly started my way to where the others stood by the doors with McGonagall, all eyes in the Hall on me. It was time to grow up and face the mess I was in. I wasn't the first, and I highly doubted I'd be the last to be involved in a tough situation, and I had to learn that it wasn't the end of the world, that I would survive.

**And thus concludes another chapter of Damage Control. Liked it? Hated it? Whatever your thoughts, please review (It's make me the happiest writer in the world)! **


	10. Professor Sadist's Punishment

**Hello again! Thanks so much to all the reviewers I've had so far, especially the three who reviewed last chapter- the anonymous reviewer, **Vivi Bright**, and **siriusfanno1**. This chapter is dedicated to **siriusfanno1**, my most faithful reviewer so far! Enjoy **

**Lissa's POV**

I hung back behind everyone on the way to McGonagall's office, not desperately keen on talking to anyone. I was far too busy dreading the inevitable interrogation from McGonagall on why Emmeline and Sirius had been fighting over me, because what was I supposed to say to that? There was no way McGonagall or even Dumbledore knew about my parents, no one except the McKinnons, my friends and the Ministry higher-ups did as of yet, so I couldn't really give any sort of explanation. In other words, I was screwed.

We reached McGonagall's office and trooped in, forming a rough line in front of where she sat sternly behind her desk. "You may sit," she said, conjuring up ten stiff-backed chairs. I wasn't the only one reluctant to sit down, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one whose stomach was churning nervously. I knew there was no way I could be punished, as I hadn't actually done anything, but there were still things I didn't want McGonagall or the Marauders to know. It was already bad enough that my friends did, but I was sure that if McGonagall found out she'd go to Dumbledore who'd go to Barty Crouch who'd land me in Azkaban faster than you could say innocent. None of the others seemed to be showing any nerves though: Lily and Mary knew they wouldn't be in much trouble and Marlene, Emmeline, Alice and the Marauders probably spent so much time in this office that it must feel like a second home. Before Christmas, I'd been just like them. Now, any form of interrogation was just a disaster waiting to happen, so apart from the failed prank on Sirius I'd been lying pretty low.

McGonagall fixed us all with a steely look. "Now, I don't know why Mr Black and Ms Vance saw fit to throw a screaming match during dinner, or why the rest of you saw fit to get involved instead of getting a teacher as you should have, but I intend to find out." She made eye contact with each one of us individually, and I somehow managed not to squirm (beats me how though, honestly). "Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Who would like to tell me why Mr Black and Ms Vance were shouting?"

Not a word. Not even little Peter Pettigrew, who I'd always imagined would wilt like a dead dandelion under pressure, squealed on Sirius and Emmeline. "Mr Lupin, Ms Evans, as prefects of this school, I expect that you two, at least, cannot condone this behavior. Operating under this assumption, is there anything you would like to tell me?" Lily and Remus shook their heads, Lily reacting surprisingly well under pressure, Remus a Marauder.

McGonagall sighed heavily, readjusting her glasses wearily. "Alright then, we will start at the root of the problem, which seems to be, according to Mr Black and Ms Vance's raised voices in the Great Hall, Mr Black and Ms Crawford's relationship. If the rest of you could wait outside, I would like to discuss this with the two of them first." My stomach churned harder, and I was sure I was about to throw up. My friends left, each shooting me a sympathetic look, Emmeline looking at me apologetically. I gave her a small smile, letting her know that it was fine, because I didn't blame her in the slightest. I was actually a little touched that she would stand up for me like that. James led Remus and Peter out, James giving Sirius a pat on the shoulder and a mocking grin, Remus and Peter each running a hand through Sirius' precious hair before legging it out the door. James followed them after shooting McGonagall a flirty wink. I rolled my eyes in spit of my nerves, watching out of the corner of my eye as Sirius desperately tried to pat down his wavy raven hair.

McGonagall sighed again, this time in relief at James' departure. She turned back to Sirius and I, and the stern look was back. She slipped off her spectacles, wiped them on her robes, and slid them back on. "So, what seems to be the problem. Mr Black, you can take that one seeing as you clearly feel very strongly about it."

Sirius crossed his arms and sunk down in his chair, wearing a surly expression. "Ask her," he muttered bitterly. McGonagall looked a little exasperated, but got over it quickly enough. Too many years of dealing with him built up a good resistance, I guess. I only wished I had that to help me.

McGonagall turned to me with her eyebrow raised. I took a deep breath. "We broke up, Professor. Well, I broke up with him." Sirius started to mutter darkly under his breath, and I was actually starting to get a little scared. McGonagall rubbed her eyes, looking like she was tired of children. "So you mean to tell me that all of the yelling and screaming was because you two _broke up?_ Because you had a little _teenage tiff?" _

Sirius bristled at McGonagall's words. I didn't bother, I mean, hadn't I come to the conclusion at dinner that breaking up with your boyfriend was inconsequential in the grand scheme of things? If only Sirius wasn't so sweet and good-looking and cute and funny and goofy and and and… _Who am I kidding, my life is over! _It was just so hard trying to ignore Sirius Black when he was sitting there slouched on that chair, hair still messed up despite his best efforts at fixing it, surly expression that couldn't ruin his handsome features, school robes hanging open all the way to expose a pair of dark denim jeans and a tight black t-shirt that highlighted his sexy Quidditch muscles… _You're doing this to protect him, and he hates you for it, anyway. Don't give in, don't tell him! I do not look good with the joy sucked out of me, I do not look good after the Dementor's Kiss, I do not look good in freaking Azkaban! _

"It's not that, Professor, it's 'cause she never told me why! She just put it in a letter and now she won't talk to me anymore!" McGonagall eyed me curiously, eyebrow raised once again. Then she seemed to be struck by a bolt of inspiration, clapping her hands so suddenly and loudly that I jumped about a foot off my chair.

"_Quassus!," shouted Bellatrix Lestrange with a cruel smirk. The jet of orange hit my brother in the leg, and a second later a loud '_snap'_ echoed through the room, accompanied by the sounds of my brother's agonized screams over his shattered femur. _

Sirius and McGonagall both looked at my with confused and puzzled faces, although I glimpsed a tiny glint of… recognition? Knowing? A little shiver of dread crept down my spine. I really hoped Sirius wouldn't start questioning my new jumpiness. "Sorry, Professor," I muttered, sitting back down on the chair with a flaming face. McGonagall gave me an odd look. I really didn't want to know what Sirius was thinking right now.

"As I was going to say, I think I have discovered the root of the problem. Mr Black is clearly very bothered by how you, Ms Crawford, failed to give him a solid enough reason as to why your relationship ended. I take it, Mr Black, that you will continue to look for this reason until it is given to you?" Sirius responded with a curt nod. McGonagall turned back to me, exasperated expression gradually settling into one of determination. "Then I can only think of one solution. As I can assume from past experience, Mr Black's idea of perseverance will probably involve explosions and disruptions, and I cannot allow that to happen if I can possibly help it. So what I propose is this: the two of you will sit down, alone together, several times a week in a locked, soundproofed room until you have resolved your issues. Understand?"

I could barely breathe, and I was sure that if I opened my mouth I would be unable to stop screaming. There was no way we'd be able to 'resolve our issues'! Was McGonagall insane?! "So, like _couples' counseling?!_," asked Sirius with incredulity and contempt. My thoughts exactly, Sirius. McGonagall nodded curtly. "Yes, Mr Black, like _couples' counseling_. Your thoughts, Ms Crawford?"

I started at being asked, a little shocked that she hadn't simply taken a look at my expression, one of horror and annoyance. "I don't really think that it's the best idea, Professor. I don't think Sirius understands that I don't have to give him a reason, and I just- can't."

I sneaked a glance at Sirius after my answer. His whole body was full of tension, his forehead creased, fists clenched. I felt horrible, because there was no denying that this was all my fault. No matter how much I secretly blamed Regulus Black for telling Bellatrix about my relationship with his cousin, it was still my fault that Bellatrix had ever threatened Sirius in the first place, and now it had come to this.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow (it would get tuck eventually, this had to be the tenth time she'd done that in the last ten minutes). "Be that as it may, Ms Crawford, but if the two of you have not come to some sort of peaceful co-existence by the end of the school year in four months time, you will both spend every day of seventh year in detention."

My jaw fell open, and a quick glance across at Sirius revealed he was having a similar reaction. "But, but, that's totally unfair! You didn't say anything when last year's Head Boy and Girl broke up and messed up the rounds timetables so badly that Jimmy Norton missed his Astronomy OWL!," Sirius protested. I was inclined to agree- if Clarissa Brown and Louis Clearwater had let the breakdown of their relationship mean that Jimmy Norton had had to stay back an extra day after the holidays to do an exam, I thought that the breakdown of our relationship should be allowed one little public screaming match.

McGonagall didn't seem to care about our reactions, though. "That's as may be, Mr Black, but Louis Clearwater never turned the entire Slytherin Quidditch team into worms before the Quidditch final," she said sternly, fixing Sirius with a steely glare. In return, Sirius muttered something about "only returning them to their true form."

McGonagall then turned to me, correctly reading my expression to be one of disagreement. "Nor, Ms Crawford, did Clarissa Brown ever attempt to kneecap the Ravenclaw Seeker the day before a Ravenclaw-Slytherin match." I gasped in indignation. "That's totally unfair Professor! Patrick Boot pushed me off my broom…" McGonagall raised that damn eyebrow again. "In first year," I finished in a low voice.

McGonagall cleared her throat before continuing, glaring at Sirius and I as she spoke. "I have come to realize that both of you are the most capable people at holding grudges I've ever had the displeasure to come across. It is obvious that neither of you are going to let this go—" "That's really not fair Professor—," protested Sirius, frustrated. McGonagall almost _smiled. _"Oh, Mr Black, so it wasn't you who had at least a hand in Dung-bombing your cousins and brother's dormitories in first year, turning the fifth floor corridor into a swamp in second year, teaching the first years to play Chicken with the Whomping Willow in third year, turned Professor Shipton into a squirrel in fourth year, and led the unforgettable Inter-House Skinny-Dip in Black Lake last year?" Sirius said nothing. I remained silent as well, savoring the fond memories that McGonagall had brought back.

_Bellatrix sprinting after a grinning Sirius as everyone turned away from the horrific stink coming off Bellatrix; Bertram Aubrey sinking into the Marauders' swamp on his way to Charms, screaming expletives; watching the irritating, snotty-nosed first-year who'd mocked me on the train fly twenty feet through the air as he lost his death-grip on a branch of the Whomping Willow; Professor Shipton breaking all of the crystal balls in the Divination classroom in her distressed-squirrel-state; the look on McGonagall's face as she caught most of our year, including Emmeline, Alice, Marlene and I, swimming in the Black Lake in the nude…._

"…So I'll see both of you here Wednesday after dinner.Mr Black, if you could fetch the others now?" I snapped back to reality as Sirius left his seat to get our friends, waiting outside for the last ten minutes while McGonagall attempted to systematically ruin my life, as well as Sirius'. Sirius led the others back in and slumped back down on his chair, grouchy and uncaring. James sauntered in, every bit as devil-may-care as usual, and flopped down onto a chair beside Sirius, Remus and Peter beside him. Emmeline, Alice and Marlene flounced in carelessly, Marlene ignoring McGonagall's disapproving glare as she proceeded to file her nails. Lily and Mary were the only ones displaying any degree of nerves, although not as much as I'd expected.

"I have already come to a decision about how to deal with Mr Black and Ms Crawford's…issues…, so I suppose I'd better deal with the rest of you. Ms Vance, whatever your friend's relationship troubles, it is inexcusable to engage in a screaming match in the Great Hall with Mr Black. Therefore, both of you will serve a week of detention. Be here at nine sharp Saturday morning. Mr Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, and Ms Prewett, Evans and McDonald, you chose to get involved rather than get a teacher as you should have, therefore you will all serve one detention with me at nine on Saturday. You can keep Ms Vance and Mr Black company."

Lily and Mary's faces immediately drained off all color. Now that I thought of it, I don't ever remember them having detention before. This was so unfair!They hadn't actually done anything wrong, nothing to deserve a detention. It was different for Marlene and Alice, they probably had done something somewhere along the line deserving of a detention anyway, but Lily and Mary were innocent. Still, maybe it hadn't been my brightest idea to let McGonagall in on my views on her punishment strategy.

"Professor, that's not fair! Mary, Lily, Marlene and Alice didn't even do anything! They're innocent!," I protested. Next to Sirius, James snorted and Lily glared at him. "What are we, road-kill?," he asked, waving an arm towards Remus and Peter. "That, Potter, would be an insult to road-kill," Lily inserted smartly. James stuck his nose in the air in a poor imitation of a posh person. James was about as far from posh as humanly possible. The overall effect, however, was ruined when he stuck out his tongue like a five-year-old.

I ignored Lily and James' childish banter (as I had been doing for the past five and a half years- practice makes perfect!), and continued with my impassioned plea to McGonagall for mercy on my friends' behalf. "Really, though, Professor, it isn't fair—" "That's quite enough, Ms Crawford—" "No, Professor, it isn't, because this is a grossly unfair punishment and—" "Really, Ms Crawford, that is enough—" "THEY'RE INNOCENT, FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!," I finally exploded. I regretted it instantly when I saw the furious look on McGonagall's face. "Er, _Professor_," I added meekly.

McGonagall glared at me, and I don't know how I managed not to squirm like a slug on a bed of salt. "Well, Ms Crawford, I suppose that if you feel so strongly about it, you can join your friends in detention on Saturday morning. Nine o' clock, my office, I'll see you all then. I trust you can see yourselves out."

We all left silently, going our separate ways at the office door. The Marauders seemed to be headed for the Common Room, so I crossed that off my list of Places To Go To Waste My Evening Away. Mary dragged Lily after them immediately (apparently her obsessions, the Prewett twins, had been sighted hiding out from Slughorn under the Common Room sofas after blowing up the supply cupboard in Potions class that afternoon). Emmeline and Alice left soon after, looking very sorry to go but unable to stop the growling of their hungry stomachs. Marlene didn't follow, although I was sure she was quite hungry herself by the sounds of it. Instead, the first person I had ran to on my release from St Mungo's after That Night (as I'd taken to calling it), leaned against the wall of the corridor right beside me.

"Marls, you really don't have to stay with me. Go eat something, go watch the Prewett boys strut their tuff for Mary, go stalk some hot seventh year Ravenclaws like I know you did last night. You don't have to stay and watch me mope."

Marlene reached over and smacked my arm lightly. "What kind of best friend would I be if I abandoned you in your time of need?," she asked, putting on a tragic voice, hand over her heart dramatically. I rolled my eyes. "I just meant that I'd understand if you wanted to do a bunk." Marlene shook her head. "Where's the fun in that?," she asked, eyes sparkling mischievously. I knew that look. This was going to be a good night.

"First we're gonna go find Fabian and Gideon and rescue them from Mary. Second, we're gonna go find Peeves. Third, we're gonna go have some fun with Filch." Oh well, nothing I hadn't done before a million times, and on a much larger scale. I could feel my mood lift, already I knew my cheeks would be less pale and maybe I'd finally regained the eyes of a living person. I looked at Marlene, grinning widely. "Let us commence Operation Prewett Rescue," I said mischievously.

**Fabian Prewett's POV**

My arms burned dully as I clung desperately to the crossbeams at the base of a couch in the Gryffindor Common Room. Next to me, under the couch opposite the coffee table in the middle of a ring of comfy couches and squishy armchairs, Gideon was in the same position. When we'd sprinted in here, running away from a furious waddling Slughorn (all we'd done was blow up a measly supply cupboard. Overreaction much?), the Common Room had been empty. When Mary McDonald arrived, acting on a tip-off that we'd arrived (I'd kill Lea Fitzgerald, I really would), we'd fled to the underside of the least-used couches tucked away in a draughty corner of the Common Room.

Mary McDonald was sweet and funny, and a great friend. On any other day we'd have been glad to see her, but today Slughorn was on the warpath and the very last thing we needed was a hyper girl screeching our names at top volume. If Slughorn found us it was al over, and we'd probably be in detention until our N.E.W.T.s. If he couldn't find us, it was a Friday, so we could fake being sick next week and say we'd developed a sudden striking ailment over the weekend. Bubonic plague, something that would keep him far, _far_ away until he'd cooled down a bit.

I listened closely as Mary went around the room, asking everyone where we were, that she'd heard we were here. "Where are Fabian and Gideon, Harrington?," I heard her demand. _Betray us now, Harrington, and there's dead slugs in your pillow 'til graduation. _"Haven't seen them," he replied coolly and absently. I heard Mary huff and stomp off in search of her next victim.

Ian Harrington, fellow Gryffindor seventh year and close friend, could easily have passed as a Slytherin. He was tall, muscular, and girls adored him with his shaggy dirty-blond hair and dark eyes. Ian had a very complex personality: cool and sneeringly superior on the outside, mischievous and friendly on the inside. He had gotten a flawless score on the OWLs, probably because we were his only friends, thereby leaving him with abundant time to revise, but also because he was just one of those people who never had to do a bit of schoolwork to be a freaking genius. He'd have been a perfect Slytherin (Sorting Hat must have mistaken cockiness and over-confidence for courage), but he was a great friend.

I clung to the crossbars of the base of the couch for what seemed like forever, but was probably about half an hour. A quick look across from me revealed that Gideon too would probably not be able to hold out much longer. Just then I felt a heavy weight drop down onto my back. Someone was sitting on my couch (and therefore, on me), and nobody sat on this couch. Which meant it was probably…. "S'up, Prune Number One?," asked Ian, head hovering just out of reach as he leaned down from where he sat on the couch. He was wearing that infuriating smirk, and I had the sudden (although not uncommon) desire to smack him.

I bared my teeth in a snarl. "Fuck off, Ian," I hissed menacingly. He knew I hated that nickname! Harrington just grinned. "Oh, so you don't want me to tell you that McDonald left?" "She did?," I asked hopefully, not daring to let go off the crossbeams as of yet. Ian nodded, and since he was leaning down his hair was long enough to brush the carpet. "Oh yeah," he replied, smirking, "'Bout twenty minutes ago, actually."

At that precise moment my aching arms gave out and I crashed onto the carpet. It seemed that Gideon, on the other side of the coffee table, had heard Ian loud and clear, because he too dropped onto the floor and rolled out from under the couch. We both stood and advanced on Harrington. I was extremely pleased when the self-assured smirk slid off his face like water at the sight of two seventeen-year-old wizards, drawn wands, advancing on him wearing identical malicious smirks. "You're dead, Ian," said Gideon menacingly, echoing my sentiments exactly.

Without a moment's hesitation, Harrington turned tail and sprinted across the Common Room, heading to the large fireplace around which most of the occupants were gathered. As he ran his wand slipped out of his pocket and rolled under an armchair, eliminating his last chance of escape. Gideon and I formulated a plan wordlessly before giving chase to Harrington. It was funny how one minute Harrington could swipe the Sorting Hat from under Dumbledore's nose without having ever been caught, and the next drop his wand while trying to escape a pursuit. Stupid git.

"FUCK OFF YOU PRUNES!," Harrington screamed, terrified. Gideon and I were feet away when Harrington decided tat it was time for desperate measures, and took a running leap onto the lap of the nearest person, sitting on a tall comfy armchair. "IT'S _PREWETT_ YOU DIPSHIT!," I yelled. We pushed through the people gathered to watch the spectacle we were providing, finally ending up in front of the armchair where Ian was cowering on its occupant's lap. The lap of one very pissed-off Sirius Black.

**Sirius' POV**

"Seriously Remus, do you think Evans was looking at me in McGonagall's office today?," James asked for the fifth time. Remus, slumped on the couch next to Peter, was trying and failing to concentrate on his Potions essay. He looked up and regarded James with a filthy look. "Yes, Prongs, Lily was indeed looking at you. More like you were something under her shoe, though." Remus' plan worked, James was so crushed that he finally shut up and retreated back to the armchair next to mine to mourn his unrequited love silence. I rolled my eyes.

I'd been in a bad mood since we'd gotten back from McGonagall's office a while ago. I mean, Lissa had outright told her that she had no intention of ever giving me a reason, and that she didn't think there was any chance we'd ever talk again. How could she say that? Even before we'd gotten together we'd had long talks that had often stretched late into the night about everything and nothing- Quidditch, what we'd had for dinner, James and Lily's latest fight, the meaning of life, and our favorite flavors of ice-cream. Lissa had a unique view on life, one that I missed a lot. Of course, when we'd gotten together there'd been a fair bit of snogging and cuddling, but we'd still had the same great conversations as before.

I was mourning the loss of my previously perfect relationship when I heard a voice yell out, "FUCK OFF YOU PRUNES!" I didn't bother to look up, last year some concussed third year had started to fist-fight with a bunch of bananas, complete with the trash-talk. Suddenly a figure leapt up out of nowhere and crashed-landed on my lap. I grunted, glaring down at the offending person. I swear, if it was another fucking nutty third year…

It wasn't. Cowering on my lap and clinging to me with the grip of a hardy crustacean was a seventh year, Ian Harrington. I'd never liked Harrington much, but it was extremely unwise to make an enemy of someone so close with the infamous Prewett twins. While I remained convinced that we were the superior pranksters, I still knew that pissing off Fabian and Gideon was tantamount to throwing yourself off the Astronomy Tower naked underneath a flashing neon sign. Harrington had a way of carrying himself, like he was so above everyone else (no matter what Evans, Vance, Prewett and McKinnon said, I was not that much of an arrogant arse). I personally thought that he would make an excellent Slytherin. I fucking hated Slytherins.

Just as I was about to shove Harrington off me, I heard a loud, familiar voice. "IT'S _PREWETT_ YOU DIPSHIT!" Fabian Prewett, and obviously himself and Gideon were mighty pissed-off with their friend. I really wasn't in the mood to get involved in this, so I took the liberty of shoving Harrington off me. He hit the floor hard and with expletives that impressed even _me_. Harrington turned around to give me a dirty look. I poked him in the back of the neck with the toe of my steel-capped boot. "Do me a favor, Harrington, and fuck off," I said conversationally, jabbing him in the ribs with my foot.

He gave me the finger as well as a dirty look. "Fucking asshole," he muttered under his breath. I smirked. "The one and only." Then I looked up and glanced around the Common Room, spotting the Prewett twins struggling to get up off the floor, fighting off Harrington's protective fan club of desperate, star-struck girls. I flicked my wand in their direction, non-verbally releasing them from the stranglehold of Serena Prentiss and Abigail Thomas. Harrington tried to stand up, but I soon solved that problem with a swift kick of my beautiful steel-capped shoes to his exposed shins. Ian Harrington went down like a rock, and instants later Fabian and Gideon were on top of him, stripping him off his clothing with vindictive grins.

When they were finished they got up, straightened out their clothes, and left for their dormitory, presumably. Harrington tried to get up and escape the oncoming horde of fan-girls that followed him constantly, but I decided that if I was going to be miserable, everyone would. Except of course, for the fan-girls. So I casually stretched out my foot into Harrington's path and brought him crashing down. The girls leapt on top of him at once, Serena Prentiss hugging him crushingly around the ribs from where she sat on his back, Abigail Thomas running her fingers through his hair. Harrington struggled to raise his head, locking eyes with me. "You, black, are a fucking asshole."

I smirked widely at him, wider when Abigail missed his fringe and poked him in the eye. "That's old news, Ian. Everyone knows that."

**And thus ends chapter 10. So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Like it? Hate it? Let me know **


	11. Sirius' Accident

**So I've finally managed to finish the chapter, and sorry if it's late! In my defense though, in return for the iPhone they bought me, my parents asked me to paint some stuff. So I ended up painting two sheds, a line of fences, and a gate. If I ever see a paintbrush again, I'll spontaneously combust!**

**This chapter is dedicated to **Vivi Bright**, an ace reviewer who is totally awesome! (As you can see I've gotten over my writer's block!)**

**Lissa's POV**

The days after the fateful screaming match passed very quickly in a blur of boring classes, piles of homework, and my friends' attempts to bust me out of the depression I had fallen into. With everything that had gone wrong in my life so far, I felt that I had a God-given right to mope, an opinion Lily, Marlene, Emmeline, Alice, Mary, Fabian and Gideon did not hare. So every day when our homework was done (and Fabe and Gideon had quite a lot what with their NEWTs coming up at the end of the year), they dragged me out around the Castle to prank unsuspecting students and the occasional teacher.

Today, however, was Quidditch practice. It was five on a crisp Wednesday morning, and I wasn't feeling very good, both mentally and physically- I hadn't been able to eat properly in days. It was impossible to move on and recover from what had happened when every morning in the Prophet was a new article or column packed with speculation about my brother, cousin, and Wade's brother's next move. Every time I heard someone murmuring about them in the corridors I felt sick- and not just, to my eternal shame, of the thought of my brother and cousin dead, although that was a big part of it. I was terrified of being alone, with no family left at all. As well as the effects of the lack of food and the nausea, I had a permanent throbbing headache and I was sure my wrist and ribs had never fully healed. Surely if they had they wouldn't ache in damp weather and at night. I had to be the first person unlucky enough to not fully heal after Madam Pomfrey's attentions. One in a million, probably.

I stomped into the changing rooms as angrily as I could with my whole body shaking with cold and the afore-mentioned overall shitty feeling. Several heads popped up on my entrance- Jon Bell, Fabian and Gideon, and Sirius. James was bent over a flipchart with a Muggle magic marker, probably planning our new strategy for our match in a few days- Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw. I'd be playing against Wade, and somehow Greg and Nate, clumsy fools, had also gotten on the team. Tiny Annie Christoph was curled up on the changing room bench, dark curly head resting on burly Jon's shoulder, sound asleep and snoring gently. She was completely oblivious to the dirty looks James shot her every few seconds. Sirius was sitting in the corner, brooding sulkily. Even though he was surrounded by our team he still seemed to be alone, isolated. Kind of how I felt lately.

I sat myself down in between Fabian and Gideon, who very obligingly cleared me a space on the bench. I looked around at the other members of the team. Everyone was wearing worn jeans and old t-shirts, figures swaddled in oversized hoodies. I was no exception- ratty jeans compete with holes that hadn't been there when I'd bought them, a too-big khaki green t-shirt, my favorite scuffed purple Vans sneakers, and one of DJ's favorite old Polyjuice Punks band hoodies, enormous on me.

We waited in silence (apart from Annie's soft snoring), until James finally put down the magic marker and turned to face us. "Okay team, in a couple of days we play our first Quidditch match of the year against Ravenclaw. Now, Ravenclaw have already lost to Hufflepuff, so if we win by a considerable margin we're guaranteed—" Annie snored loudly, jerking so violently in her sleep that she jerked right off the bench and hit the floor with a crash. James whirled round to look down on the now awake and disorientated Annie, lying spread-eagled on the floor. Annie and James stared each other down for several minutes. Eventually James had used up his tiny reserve of patience.

"Ten laps, Christoph, and make it quick!" He tossed her broom to her, pulled her up by the hood of her hoodie, and booted her out of the changing rooms, before turning back to the rest of us with a satisfied smirk. It was sad really, the amount of satisfaction the almost seventeen-year-old James Potter got from outsmarting a thirteen-year-old. It was unfair really, their rivalry. Annie was way smarter than James.

James sighed heavily. "Alright, after yesterday's drills our robes are still being washed, so we can just train as we are. The robes will be fine for our match against Ravenclaw, but we'll have to do without them 'til then." We all glared at James. If he hadn't insisted we run those fitness drills in the mud, our robes wouldn't be ruined. From what I'd gathered on the walk down here, it wasn't much better today, so our clothes were likely to be ruined again. Bloody wanker.

Grumbling under our breaths we made our way onto the pitch, clutching our broomsticks. Fabian and Gideon carried their Beaters bats and Sirius and Jon lugged out the hefty case containing the Quaffle, Bludgers and the Snitch. After a few brief warm-up drills James set up the usual drills, with himself, Jon and Annie (panting heavily but finished her laps) passing the Quaffle and trying to score on Sirius, while Fabian and Gideon tried to knock them off their brooms. I noticed that there were a lot more Bludgers heading James' way than Annie and Jon's. Seventeen the twins may be, but mature they were not.

I just did what I always did at trainings, let the Snitch go, look for the Snitch, catch the Snitch, and repeat. Usually I'd try out some new tricks or something similar to liven thing sup a bit, but I was too drained today. It took a supreme effort to look lively and stay on the broom, and I'd probably crash into the stands at some point, but I was going to keep my place on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. My grades were slipping, my family was broken beyond repair, and my love life similarly fucked up, so Quidditch and my friends were really all I had left.

Halfway through training I caught the Snitch for the nth time and decided that that was simply it. If I had to chase that damned deplorable little golden winged ball around the pitch one more time I would hex James Potter's ears off. Also, I was uncomfortably close to actually falling off my broom due to lack of food and sleep, neither of which I'd be able to do very much about in the near future. I shoved the Snitch into my jeans pocket and sat back on my broom to watch the rest of the team practice.

Jon caught the Quaffle and skillfully spun it across to James, who flew hard towards the goal hoops, guarded by an absorbed Sirius. Merlin, he was so cute… From a few feet above, Gideon hit the Bludger down to Fabian, who then whacked it into James' stomach. Jon caught the Quaffle as James involuntarily dropped it, passing it to Annie. Annie caught it and, from fifteen feet out, aimed for the goal hoop, constantly looping and twisting to avoid Bludgers. Sirius was smirking in anticipation of an easy save, and the Prewetts were scowling in frustration at the fact that their target was reluctant to stay still and be blown out of the air. James, still winded and bent over on his broom, hovering mid-air on his broom, froze in shock and amazement as Annie decided to shit on years of drills and not throw the Quaffle at the hoop, but kick it instead like a Muggle soccer player.

The Quaffle sailed directly at Sirius with the force of a wrecking ball, so quickly that even his fast reflexes were unable to save him. The Quaffle smacked Sirius square in the face with a resounding thud I heard from fifty feet away, knocking him right off the back of his broom. While the rest of us watched in horror as Sirius plummeted towards the ground, Annie cheered as her unorthodox shot had scored her a goal (after it had likely broken Sirius' face).

James, Jon, Annie (reluctant to have a life on her hands), Fabian, Gideon and I hurtled towards Sirius, knowing even as we did that we could never reach him in time. Sirius' shaggy raven hair blew about his face as he fell, knocked out from the blow. I was blind and deaf to the rest of our team's cries as my world shrunk down until it was just a rapidly falling Sirius and I.

I was feet away when he hit the ground with a great crash. I leapt the remaining ten feet off my broom to get to Sirius, ignoring the jolt of pain in my ankles as I hit the ground running. I raced over to where Sirius lay, motionless, and pushed the others out of the way. I fell to my knees at the sight of him. Sirius was lying spread-eagled on the ground, usually lightly tanned skin pale as porcelain, raven-black hair blown back to reveal a dark purple bruise already forming on his forehead, the tiniest trickle of blood seeping out of his right nostril.

"Oh Merlin," I murmured, frozen in place as I knelt next to Sirius. All around me were movement, voices, shouting, but I was oblivious to it all as I reached out and lay my fingers on Sirius' neck, on his pulse point. I had never been so relieved in my entire life as I was when I felt the weak beat of Sirius' heart under my fingertips. Behind me, somebody cleared their throat. When I failed to respond, they tapped my shoulder.

"Crawford? Crawford, are you alright? Only you don't really seem to be breathing much." I snapped out of my semi-catatonic state and turned my head to face James. He was looking a little concerned, more for me than for Sirius, it seemed. I nodded slowly. "I'm fine, but what about Sirius? He fell so far, and his nose is bleeding, and he has a huge bruise on his forehead, and he's unconscious, and, and, and…"

James held up a hand to silence me. He looked oddly cold and distant. "Annie and Gideon are gone to get Madam Pomfrey. Sirius'll be fine, he's had worse." My mouth gaped. "Worse than this?," I asked numbly, turning back to stroke the lines of Sirius' unconscious pale face slowly, reassuring myself that he was still there.

James knelt down on Sirius' other side, face hard and cold as he nodded. "Much worse. The summer of fifth year when he left home… D'you think his mother let him leave without a fight?" My face slackened. "Did she… did she use the Cruciatus?," I asked in a small, barely audible voice. James nodded solemnly, running a hand across his best friend's badly bruised forehead with a wince.

"Merlin, Sirius, _no!_," I whispered to the unconscious boy on the ground. "Why didn't you tell me? Oh my God, why didn't I ask?" James' hands were trembling, and when I looked up at him his face was set with cold anger, normally cheerful hazel eyes hardened with fury. "Why would he? Sirius only tells his secrets to people who care about him, and you've proven you don't give two shits about his feelings or what happens to him!"

Alright, I'd been able to let the coldness slide, I mean, I had broken up with his best mate without a reason, and for some reason Sirius had been pretty cut up about it. I already felt awful about doing it, but I'd had my reasons, _damn good reasons_. It wasn't really fair to be mad at James, after all he did think he was in the right, but it's not like I was freaking Gandhi or something. I was a depressed, angry teenage girl with a very short fuse that was about to blow. Poor Potter was just collateral damage.

Fingers still at Sirius' pulse point, I glared furiously at James. "You have no idea about me, Potter. You don't know my reasons, therefore you have no right to judge me." With that I stood, and with a wave of my middle finger to James (immature I know, but I had better things to worry about), I stormed off.

**Marlene's POV**

Emmeline, Alice and I were crouched uncomfortably (using Disillusionment Charms of course) under the Slytherin House table at breakfast, praying that Lily and Mary wouldn't notice that we were missing. Just as I thought my burning, bent legs would collapse beneath me, we heard the loud creak as the doors of the Great Hall opened and the loud patter of many footsteps arriving for breakfast.

"Remind me again why we're doing this?," Alice hissed. I smirked widely, and though I couldn't see her, I guessed that Emmeline was probably smirking too, in that mischievous way of hers. "Remember those filthy little bastards that tortured Lissa a couple weeks ago?," Emmeline murmured. "Yes," Alice hissed with barely contained fury. Yes, we held grudges for a _very_ long time. "Well it's been long enough that if we take our little revenge on them now, Lily, Mary and McGonagall won't suspect us," I explained. "Then again, we still don't know exactly who did it, apart form their House," Emmeline muttered to herself. "Meh," I said quietly, "They al deserve it in one way or another."

We all fell into silence then as Slytherins began to sit down along the table for breakfast. I prayed that my stomach wouldn't growl and reveal us. The sweet aroma of bacon was just so irresistible! We were all sandwiched together as far away from the Slytherins' feet as possible, and the lack of space was suffocating. Finally, Emmeline gave the signal- two quick taps on the floor with her knuckles.

I crawled down along the table, slipping our little 'gifts' into each bag within reach, working as quickly as I could. When I reached the bottom of the table I slithered out from underneath it on my stomach, smirking at the irony. _The snake under the Snakes' table! Ha!_

I got to my feet carefully and slipped out of the open doors into the Entrance Hall, where I made my way to the corner we'd agreed to meet in. I lifted my Disillusionment Charm, watching as my body slowly came into view, clad in a log-sleeved t-shirt, comfy jeans and scuffed sneakers (standard cold-weather wear). A few moments later I felt an invisible hand pinch my nose. Rolling my eyes, I called out quietly, "Hello, Al."

Alice came into view, pouting a little. "How did you know it was me?," she asked in a sulky voice. "Because Emm would have smacked me," I answered with a smirk. Alice had to agree. "Yeah, she _is_ the most violent one." A disembodied indignated sniff could be heard beside Alice seconds before an invisible hand punched her in the upper arm. Alice yelped and I rolled my eyes. "You're only proving our point, Emm," I murmured, wary of an attack that could come from anywhere.

Fortunately, it never came. A slightly pissed-off looking Emmeline materialized beside me and in front of Alice, leaning against the wall with her nose in the air. I grinned, we were all here and none of us had been caught. Now it was time for the final step.

"C'mon guys, before Lily sends out the search parties," I said, leading the way back into the Great Hall, fully visible this time. We made our way over to where Lily and Mary were seated at the Gryffindor table eating breakfast. Lissa was probably either still at Quidditch training or taking a shower, but the beauty of this prank was that it would last quite a while.

"Where've you guys been?," Lily asked suspiciously. "Forgot my Charms homework," Emmeline lied smoothly. Mary's eyes narrowed. "You did our Charms homework?," she asked incredulously. Emmeline froze briefly, snapping out of it with a yelp when Alice and I both stepped on her toes under the table at the same time. "What was that?," Lily asked Emmeline. "Yep. I have _done_ the homework," Emmeline replied as Alice and I glared at her.

Mary and Alice didn't look totally convinced, but as they stood up to go (something about the library or other such nerdy activities) Lily clapped Emmeline on the shoulder. Emmeline jumped, choking on a mouthful of toast. Lily, blissfully oblivious, joyfully exclaimed, "I knew I'd get through to you someday. Well, see you in Charms!" With that she and Mary were gone, leaving a frozen Emmeline in their wake.

"Umm… Are you okay, Emm?," Alice asked, concerned. I really didn't think Emmeline was. She was pale as a sheet and her eyes looked like they were going to pop right out of her head. Emmeline gulped down her mouthful of toast, slowly coming back to reality. She turned to me, grabbing the lapel of my robes. "Did you do the Charms homework?," she asked desperately. I shook my head, a little scared. Emmeline turned around to do the same to Alice, who smacked her on the arm before she could. "No, Emm, I didn't do the bloody homework! Why in the name of Merlin's saggy y-fronts would you tell Lily and Mary you had?," Alice asked incredulously.

Emmeline gaped. "Because I couldn't think of anything else to say! And they'll notice if I don't have it with me and then Flitwick might see and _I already have a week of detentions!" _Alice and I spent the next few minutes trying to calm down Emmeline while simultaneously trying to eat some kind of a breakfast, but nothing was working. Finally, Alice could take no more.

"ALRIGHT!," she yelled, making Emmeline and I jump. I choked on a bit of rasher, but at least Emmeline had _finally_ stopped hyperventilating. "Now," she continued with a serene smile, "If you refuse to stop hyperventilating, Emm, we'll just have to go to the library to do the homework. I suppose it couldn't hurt mine or Marley's grades in Charms if we did the homework for once either."

Thinking of my delicious rasher and sausage butty, I didn't want to admit that Alice was right. If I didn't turn in a piece of homework soon I'd never get a good enough grade to become an Auror. Come to think of it, I wasn't sure if Charms was even required to become an Auror, but it wasn't like I was turning in much homework for the subject that _were_ required either. Something to think about, I guessed.

"Come on, then," I sighed, standing up and dragging Emmeline and Alice with me. "What about the… you-know-what?," Alice asked, referring to our little prank. I smirked evilly as Alice, Emm and I practically ran towards the library. "Don't worry, guys. We can activate that any time. Now c'mon, we wouldn't want Lily and Mary to slaughter Emm!"

**Sirius' POV**

I woke up in the Hospital Wing feeling as though I'd just been run over by a Muggle truck. "Merlin," I groaned painfully, "What happened to me?" I hadn't been expecting an answer, but apparently I wasn't alone. "Annie kicked the Quaffle into your face and you fell off your broom, you clumsy oaf," James answered, sitting on a chair next to my bed with Remus and Peter.

"He's awake, Madam Pomfrey!," Remus called over his shoulder. I groaned again as the matron came bustling over, several intimidating-looking potions in the belt that hung around her apron-covered waist.

"Ah, Mr Black, you're awake I see. Now, if you take these potions…" Madam Pomfrey seemed to be in a hurry, laying out several bottles on the nightstand beside my bed. "…You should be able to return to class after your lunch break." She opened the bottles on the nightstand, releasing the foulest odor I'd ever smelt. All of our noses wrinkled in disgust, and I almost threw up. Madam Pomfrey fixed me with a steely eye before turning to Remus. "Now Remus, I'm prevailing upon you to be the responsible one here. And as I'm sure you've noticed, the potions whiff a bit, so I'll be able to smell it on your breath if you've drank them. If your breath doesn't stink like a rotten egg when I get back, you can stay here for a week, Black. Understand?" I nodded gingerly, trying not to breath and risk inhaling the stink of the medicinal potions.

Pomfrey bustled off quickly, heading over to a second year that currently had the head of a seahorse. Pinching his nose, Remus picked up the first potion and held it out to me. When I stubbornly refused to take it, he looked around for reinforcements only to find James and Peter flat on the floor with their robes pulled up over their noses and mouths. Remus sighed, giving each cowering boy a sharp kick in the leg before turning back to me with the potion.

"I'm not taking it!" "Yes you are, Padfoot! Do you want a concussion?" "I'd certainly rather that to drinking that piss, Moony!" "You'll miss dinner, Pads… PRONGS AND WORMY, IT DOESN'T SMELL THAT FUCKING BAD!" Remus whirled round to see James and Peter rolling around on the floor, retching exaggeratedly as they pinched their noses. When Remus yelled they both started so violently that they banged heads.

"What was that for, Moons?," James pouted, rubbing his sore head. "Yeah, that was totally unnecessary, Moony!," Peter put in, cradling the side of his head as he glared at Remus and me, currently in the throes of hysteria. Remus sighed angrily, turning back to me with a face that was a lot less angry and a lot more mischievous than I'd been expecting. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened them again. A crafty smirk spread across his face, and I unconsciously began creeping back into my pillows. Nothing good ever came out of Moony's Danger Smirk. The last time I'd seen that smirk was just before I realized that I was tied to a branch on the Whomping Willow in the middle of the night and was thrown in a million different directions until McGonagall found me at five a.m. (I do _not_ sleepwalk, and I cannot believe that Dumbledore believed Remus when he told him that I did). And all I'd done was eat a _little_ bit from Moony's secret chocolate stash!

"Padfoot," Remus began, still smirking, "If you drink these potions, I'll get James to tell you what Lissa told him after you were knocked out." I froze, and James, down on the floor, froze too. Then I started to get a little angry. "What the fuck, James! She said something to you? THAT IS SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO KNOW!" Madam Pomfrey shot me a dirty look from the other end of the Hospital Wing. "KEEP IT DOWN, BLACK, OR I'LL FIND YOU NEED SOME SKEL-GRO AS WELL!"

"Come on, James!," I cried in a hushed voice. "That's the kind of thing you should have told me like ten minutes ago!" James was squirming a little, suddenly very interested in my bedpost. He mumbled something under his breath, still refusing to look at me. James was a terrible liar and secret keeper, so if I could just get him to look up I'd be able to get the truth out of him easily. "Kick him for me, Wormy," I asked. Peter complied, delivering a crippling kick to James stomach from where he lay beside him on the floor.

James grunted hard, looking up to glare at me, punching Peter in the balls at the same time. I smirked at that, looking into James' eyes with a boring stare. It usually took a good twenty seconds for this to work on James. This time it took ten, so whatever James was hiding must be big. I was impatient at the best of times, but when Lissa was involved I had the patience of a hyper squirrel.

James scratched the back of his neck, meaning that he was about to spill. I leaned forward eagerly. Peter and Remus had obviously already heard this already, so they sort of zoned out, eyes wandering over to where Pomfrey was still trying to change the second year's head back form its current seahorse state.

James finally started to speak, slowly and hesitantly. "When you fell, well Lissa was the first person there. She seemed really worried, looking for a pulse and everything. I asked her if she was okay, but she was only seemed to be concerned about you. I was trying to stop her panicking, so I told her you'd gone through worse. She kind of got it out of me bout how exactly you leaving home went, and she nearly cried when she heard you'd been tortured. She was wondering why you hadn't said anything, and when I said that you had no reason to, because you only told things like that to people who cared, she got really angry. She said, and I quote, 'You have no idea about me, Potter. You don't know my reasons, therefore you have no right to judge me.' Then she ran off looking like she wanted to either murder someone or die, and she hasn't come to class at all today."

I took a moment to take everything in. So Lissa had cared about me, been worried about me? It sounded like she'd been genuinely sad that my mother used the Cruciatus Curse on me, more so than anyone else I'd told. I wondered why that was. And why had she been so angry when James had said that I didn't have to tell her anything because she didn't care? Did she?

Remus, Peter and James were all watching me carefully, waiting for some other reaction that wasn't shock. I took a deep breath and reached out for the potions on my nightstand, swallowing them one by one without even noticing the horrible taste or looking at my friends. As soon as I'd finished the last one, I dropped the bottle onto my bed and stood up, my balance shaky at first. Remus and James rushed forwards to try and help me, but I waved them off. When I had my balance I pushed past Peter, Remus and James and made my way down through the Hospital Wing.

As I passed her Madam Pomfrey's head snapped up and a shocked expression crossed her face. "Sirius Black, where do you think you're going?" I kept on walking, turning over my shoulder to answer with a grin on my face. "Wouldn't want to miss dinner, would I, Poppy?" sped up, almost full-out sprinting out of the Hospital Wing on my wobbly legs. "SIRIUS BLACK, YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

I ran even faster, if that were possible, laughing my head off all the way as I headed towards the Great Hall. If I hurried on a little, I'd be right on time for dinner. A few minutes later, I heard what sounded like three people running after me. I looked back over my shoulder to see James dragging a red-faced Remus and a panting Peter, grinning his stupid head off. "C'MON, MATE! I'M STARVING!," I hollered, waving them on.

We skidded to a stop in the Entrance Hall, James and I laughing carelessly as Remus and Peter struggled to get their breath back. When they'd sufficiently recovered, we made our way into the great Hall, me praying that Pomfrey wouldn't arrive in the middle of dinner and drag me off.

We were right on time for dinner, and ate more than was probably healthy. But hell, I'd been knocked out since pretty much the crack of dawn, and I was going to eat until I was full, God damn it! "Slow down there, Padfoot!," Remus spluttered as I was halfway through my sixth plate of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. "I'll be fine," I replied thickly through a mouthful of mash. Remus shook his head incredulously, turning back to his normal portion of food.

I was about to shove another heaped forkful of food into my mouth when something exploded over at the Slytherin table. James, Peter, Remus and I's heads whipped round to the source of the explosion. Where Lucian Bulstrode had been sitting was now a giant wriggling earthworm! I burst out laughing, as did the others. What was extremely weird though, was that no one else did. A few people glanced over at Lucian The Earthworm, but turned away with only the lightest of giggles, looking almost… _bored. _

What the hell?! We looked around, puzzled, for someone to explain what had just happened. A few seats down, Emmeline Vance, Alice Prewett and Marlene McKinnon, were the only ones laughing as hard as we had, tears running down their faces. "C'mon guys. I'm gonna ask Vance, Prewett and McKinnon what the hell just happened." We all got up and hurried over to the three girls.

James waited for the laughter to slow before reaching forward and tapping Emmeline on the shoulder. She whirled round, face still flushed from laughter, and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Umm… could one of you please explain to us what just happened?," James asked. Emmeline, Alice and Marlene burst into fits of giggles yet again.

"Why don't we just show you?," Alice suggested. "Yeah," Marlene agreed with a giggle, "It's pretty self-explanatory. It's my turn, anyway." We must have looked hopelessly confused, because all of the girls started laughing again. Then Marlene turned and pointed her wand discreetly over at the Slytherin table and muttered, "_Dulco." _The jet of light was so opaque it could have been invisible as it shot over and hit Evan Rosier square in the forehead. Rosier burst into orange flames, screaming in shock. When the flames died down seconds later, an enormous writhing earthworm was in Rosier's place.

We laughed 'til we cried, squeezing in beside the girls t finish our dinner. Lissa, Lily Evans and Mary McDonald were sitting further up the table, eating their dinner oblivious to our raucous laughter, although we did get many dirty looks from other students sitting closer to us. I noticed with concern that Lissa was quite pale and drawn looking. She didn't seem to be eating anything, either.

"It'll be okay, Padfoot," Moony reassured softly, noticing the sudden drop in my mood. I sighed heavily. "Merlin, Moony, I hope so." I took a deep breath, forcing every cell of my body to calm down, to be patient. "Whatever it is, Moony, I'm going to find out. We have that counseling thing this evening, I'm gonna do everything I can to find out what it is then." Moony just patted my back, turning back to his dinner with a soft sigh. "I'm going to find out," I repeated under my breath. If I tell that to myself enough, maybe I'll even start to believe it. Maybe it'll come true, and everything will be back to the way it should be.

**Well there it is! Hope you liked it! If you did, I will love you forever if you review! **


	12. Couples Counseling

**Hello people! I am currently battling both writer's block and boredom, so I hope this chapter is up to scratch. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter: **Vivi Bright **and the anonymous reviewer. Well, hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Lissa's POV**

I took yet another gulp of boiling coffee, watching blankly as another Slytherin (the fiftieth today) exploded into giant earthworm, courtesy of three of my less rule-abiding friends. It bothered me a little that I hadn't helped out and gotten in on the prank, the exact sort of thing I'd done at least once a week before The Christmas Incident. Since then I'd been uncommonly quiet, actually doing some homework (Lily actually cried when I handed in my Arithmancy essay before the deadline for the very first time). Of course I'd never stoop so low as to actually _study, _but I still attended most classes, and not just because Mary had dragged me to them with all the tenacity of a bloodhound. I guess I just missed the person I used to be, and according to my friends I wasn't the only one. Fabian and Gideon had long since given up asking me to play Chicken with them at Quidditch training, Wade no longer bothered offering me the use of the Prefects' bathroom after curfew, Lily and Mary almost seemed to miss telling me off for my irresponsible behavior, and now Marlene, Emmeline and Alice hadn't even bothered to ask if I'd like to help them out with this prank. I was slowly losing it, losing myself, and I didn't know how to fix it.

"I cannot believe that someone other than the Marauders would be childish enough to pull this stupid prank!," Lily ranted, glaring down the table where the three girls sat giggling as they talked with the Marauders. To my great relief I saw hat Sirius seemed to be fine after his accident earlier at training, left with only an already fading purple-green bruise on his forehead, almost obscured by strands of silky raven hair. "I can," Mary muttered under her breath, "At least this time they took out their pranking needs on the Slytherins instead of my Potions homework." Mary was referring to last week, when their mischievous tendencies had driven Alice, Emm and Marley to run through the courtyard brandishing a screaming Mary's essay before 'accidentally' dropping it in the Black Lake.

I took one more sip of my coffee before glancing down at my watch and getting up. Lily and Mary looked up curiously so I quickly explained. "I have that thing with Sirius and McGonagall in five minutes," I explained, nodding at my watch, "Don't wanna be late." Mary and Lily nodded, turning back to their dinner, and I made my way out of the Great Hall.

I took my time getting to McGonagall's classroom, debating to myself whether the consequences would be worse if I ditched McGonagall and Black and got caught or actually went and Sirius killed me. I honestly didn't know whether I was more afraid of Sirius or McGonagall. The decision was made for me when I realized that my feet had carried my to McGonagall's door, and that due to my slow pace, I was rather late too.

I knocked hesitantly before entering. McGonagall was standing in front of her desk with a stern expression, glaring at me for being late. Sirius was leaning back in a chair in the middle of the classroom with a carefree expression, head thrown back as it rested on the desk behind him, scuffed boots propped up on a desk much to McGonagall's disapproval. When he heard me coming in he straightened up in his chair, the carefree expression sliding right off his face to be replaced by a blank, impenetrable mask, touched with more than a little of the customary smugness. I remain convinced that that is his default expression, or else his ego is so inflated that it's a wonder he doesn't float away.

"I see you've deigned to grace us with your presence, Ms Crawford, albeit about ten minutes too late. I definitely remain convinced that the detention I gave you on Saturday is justified," McGonagall said sourly, looking like she hated her job, life, and teenagers in general. _Well then. _I nodded sharply and went straight to a seat on the opposite side of the room to Sirius and sat down immediately, not trusting myself to actually formulate a verbal response without leaping onto the woman and throttling her. For the love of Merlin, couldn't she at least _guess_ that I was miserable enough without her griping, if she couldn't tell for sure like every single person who'd ever spoken two words to me and possessed half a brain cell?

Hmm… Maybe I was still a little pissed off from James' insinuation that I didn't care about Sirius after the disastrous Quidditch practice, so pissed off that not even watching Slytherins pop into earthworm form courtesy of my friends had lifted my mood. I had been really worried about Sirius, terrified that he was seriously injured or something. How dare that stupid little piece of shit (a.k.a. Potter) suggest that I don't care? I mean, I'd always known that James Potter was unperceptive, an egomaniac and quite possibly emotionally stunted, but surely no one could be that fucking dense? Although, glancing across at the reason for the heated encounter between Potter and I, I was seriously wondering why I'd even bothered. No matter how sweet and agreeable (and hot) Sirius black could be, he would always be a smug, self-obsessed asshole at heart. In the depths of my pissy mood and general angry depression, I was really considering why I'd wasted two months of my precious life on a pretentious dickhead.

The tiny voice in my head was whispering to me that of course I would find it easier to deal with losing Sirius by calling him every name under the sun and convincing myself that I hated him. However, that little whispering voice was currently pissing me off (although it should be noted that every living organism and even inanimate objects were also achieving the same thing), so I simply crushed it. Angry was good, it made everything much easier to deal with. I could be angry at DJ, Harry and Jasper for being stupid vindictive idiots; I could be angry at James for saying something that, in the darkest hours of the dead of night I would admit, he had every right to say; I could be angry at Sirius for acting like a petulant child when I was the cause of his behavior. Angry was good, because anger could numb the cold reality that I was doing nothing to solve my problems.

"…Will be back in a few hours to let the two of you return to your Common Room before curfew. Try not to break the furniture." I caught the last bit of McGonagall's speech just as she non-verbally summoned mine and Sirius' wands and took them with her as she swept out the door, muttering spells under her breath as she went. Then the door slammed shut with an ominous bang, and I knew that McGonagall had locked it from the outside. I was stuck in here with Sirius for the next few hours until she returned, and the look on his face was pure determination.

Thinking back over my reasoning for breaking up with him, I realized a little too late that I'd gone about it the wrong way. While what I had done was the right thing, I should've made up some reason he could have dealt with. Instead I'd instilled in him a burning curiosity to find out my reasons, and I knew Sirius well enough to know that he _never_ gave up. I knew that he probably hated me, and most likely would continue to do so until he found a good reason for me having broken off our relationship. The saddest thing was that I couldn't bring myself to give him some sort of reason to stop his hatred for me, because really, at least his hatred was better than nothing at all. I knew I deserved it, but it would kill me if Sirius just forgot about me.

**Sirius' POV**

McGonagall left, locking the door behind her so securely that not even my special knife wouldn't be able to pick the lock. Lissa was slumped low in her chair as she stared blankly at the table, away in her own world. I will admit, seeing how she was able to just…switch off and ignore difficult situations made me envy her and made me more than a little angry, but I suppressed my emotions and ironed my expression back to a blank one, steeling my eyes.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself up and walked over to where Lissa sat, letting the chair scrape against the floor as I dropped into the seat in front of Lissa. As I'd expected, her head jerked up, fright and terror dancing through her eyes, making them shine with fear. She didn't seem to see me as she pushed her chair back so violently that it fell back, taking her with it. "Liss, it's me, Sirius," I said softly, shocked at her reaction. Her only reaction was to scurry back away from me, pressing her small body into the desk behind her as she panted in terror. Her small frame was trembling, face flushed, eyes wide, dark hair spilling out of her messy plait. Her robes that had once hung open were now slipping down her shoulders and arms. The long-sleeved deep purple t-shirt she was wearing was riding up her stomach, revealing a slice of skin that made my breathing hitch. Her baggy jeans were riding low on her now-bony hips and twisted around her legs. She looked terrified, and that scared me more than anything.

I walked towards her slowly, palms raised in front of me. "Ssshh, Liss, it's me, Sirius. Remember me?," I asked soothingly. She was now frozen against the desk, not moving or even breathing by the look of it. Her eyes were wide, a thin ring of green surrounding the dilated pupils. I was beyond confused. What had happened to the Lissa who hadn't even twitched when I'd thrown myself out of a broom cupboard and on top of her? What the hell had happened to her over the Christmas holidays?

I reached the cowering Lissa and reached a hand out to her slowly, kneeling down beside her. When she didn't flinch I took it as a good sign, reaching out to rest my hand on her trembling arm softly. Her reaction was immediate- her breathing evened out, eyes focused, and her trembling slowed until she was still. I gently put my other hand on her other arm, rubbing my hands up and down her arms slowly reassuringly. I didn't exactly have much experience with comforting girls, Lissa was the only real girlfriend I'd ever had. Still, I seemed to be doing alright.

Suddenly Lissa seemed to snap back to herself, flinching back from me and crawling backwards until she was several feet away. I don't think I did a good job of hiding how much that hurt, and I was sure that my pain flashed across my face briefly before I got a handle on myself. I stood up slowly, no taking my eyes off Lissa, who was staring determinedly at the ground.

"I'm sorry," she said in a slightly shaky undertone, "I shouldn't have lost it like that. It won't happen again." She got up and sat down on the nearest chair, holding herself stiffly as though she was afraid she would crumble to pieces. I walked over to the seat in front of hers and sat down, still keeping my eyes locked on her face. I wanted answers, and neither of us would be leaving this room until I had them.

"Okay, Liss, what happened?," I asked abruptly. She gasped softly, bringing her head up but still not looking me in the eye. "Nothing," she breathed. My limited patience began to wane. Did she really expect me to believe that?

"We both know that isn't true, Liss. You don't seem to eat, it doesn't look like you sleep, and whenever you hear a loud noise you look like you're about to jump out of your skin. And I know that whatever happened to you affected your brother as well, because normal people don't just basically declare vendettas and attack my psychotic cousin for no good reason. Now tell me the truth, what happened?"

She stared at the ground, trembling a little. Then she looked up and stared directly into my eyes. I noticed with slight alarm that hers were brimming with pain and unshed tears. "I'd love to tell you Sirius, but I really can't. All I can say is that this is for the best, the best for both of us. I'm not doing this to hurt you, I'm doing it to help you, so please just forget about me, forget about what happened, and move on. Soon it'll be like we never existed and we'll both be better off in the long run."

I could barely breathe. "Is _that _what you think?! That you can just tell me 'it's all for the best' and that I'll just forget everything!," I growled, advancing on her maliciously. Lissa crept as far back into her chair as she could get, terrified, but I was so angry that nothing short of Lord Voldemort appearing beside me could faze me. "Is _that_ what you think of me?!," I snarled, my face so close to hers that our noses almost touched. She was crying, trembling and shaking as she wrapped her arms around herself.

I turned my back to her, kicking out at the leg of a desk. My toe was throbbing, but I ignored it just like I ignored the bolt of pain that shot through my knuckles as I punched the stonewall of the classroom. Lissa was crying harder now, and to be honest I felt like joining her. My toes were most likely broken, my knuckles definitely broken with the blood flowing out like water from a faucet, and the only girl I'd ever really cared much about thought that she could just blow me off 'for the best' and that we'd all have forgotten about it in a few days. Remind me again, what's so great about life? 'Cause mine's looking pretty shitty right about now.

**Lissa's POV**

I knew that it was unbelievably stupid, but I just couldn't stop crying. Everything Sirius had said was true, and I wasn't being fair. Sirius hated me now, and to be perfectly honest, I hated myself too. I hated myself even more when I heard his fist hit the wall. The sickening crunch of his knuckles and the soft curse that followed probably hurt me more than it hurt him. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to kill with my bare hands Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy and any other Death Eater I could get my hands on. They were single-handedly responsible for ruining my life, and by the looks of it, Sirius knuckles. If I had a Muggle meat grinder handy right about now, let's just say I know just who I'd like to push into it.

Taking a deep breath, I relaxed my body to stop the shuddering and crying. I wiped my eyes, got up and walked over to where Sirius stood by the wall, shaking and staring down at his bloody knuckles. I winced on his behalf, not that he even seemed to notice that I was there. Silently, I took his hand in mine and tapped the injured bloody knuckles with my wand as gently as possible, healing them immediately until as that was left were several thin pink scars and half-dried blood. "_Episkey,"_ I muttered, cleaning off the blood and trying to keep my gaze off the little pink scars that tugged at my heartstrings. Unable to help myself, I pressed a small kiss to his healed knuckles.

Immediately, he drew back his hand and took a step back, breathing hard. I looked up carefully. Sirius' face was pale apart from his lightly flushed cheeks, his grey eyes full of uncertainty. My heart ached, and I truly hated myself. Had I done that, made the arrogant, over-confident Sirius Black uncertain and vulnerable?

He was breathing heavily, chest heaving as he spoke in a low short voice. "You can't do that- touch me like nothing's happened. You can't just pretend that you didn't break off the only good relationship I've ever had after I told you some deeply personal thing about myself without the decency to give me a good reason and then just go on like nothing's changed! You've made me into this angry, bitter person and you won't even tell me why!"

Sirius was shuddering, leaning against the stonewall with his chin on his chest as he clenched his fists, bursting the cuts on his knuckles. I watched the drops of blood trickle down his hand and onto the floor, and something broke inside of me.

I walked right up to Sirius, poking my finger into his well-defined chest, my face flushed with fury. He didn't look up, but I felt his breathing hitch when I touched him. My own breath caught in my throat at the feel of his well-developed Quidditch muscles under my index finger, and I suddenly had the unexplainable urge to flatten my palms across his chest and kiss him, hard. I held back the strong urge and went head with what I'd wanted to say. This was why, when dealing with Sirius, anger was much easier than compassion.

"Sirius Orion Black, how dare you say suggest that you told me everything? That would be me actually- the one who told you how she felt when her dog died when she was five, the one who told you about my first kiss with Johnny Meagher behind his parents' apple tree when we were ten, the one who told you that not even during a game of spin the bottle had she kissed anyone else but you since that time when she was ten. You, Sirius, you told me that you didn't get along the best with your parents and brother, and that you didn't share either their nor your extended family's beliefs. You told me that you left home last June, and that you live with the Potters now. That was it. Your best mate, however, was the one to tell me that your parents tortured you until you were hardly conscious! That isn't just a little thing, Sirius! And if you couldn't tell me that, what else have you been hiding? I told you everything I could think of, and I'd have told you anything I'd forgotten if you'd have asked! Do you know why, Sirius? Because that's what we call trust, and maybe that's what you were missing?!"

I stepped back at the same time Sirius' head snapped up. I had seen him angry before, but that had been nothing compared to how he looked right now. His cheeks were flushed, his body tense, fists clenched and eyes wide and full of fury. He walked over towards me slowly, taking a deliberate step forward for every one I stumbled back until he had me pressed against the wall.

He leaned in until his face was inches away from mine, arms resting against the wall on either side of me, caging me in. I closed my eyes. He leaned in even further, until his cheek was resting against mine, his lips millimeters away from ear. I could feel his warm breath on my neck, making me shiver.

"You think I don't trust you, Liss? Is that right?," he murmured into my ear, making me shiver. I gulped, nodding quickly. Sirius leaned in even closer as I shrank back into the wall even further. "Well then, I guess I'll just have to _make_ you trust me. That night I left home, Regulus watched my mother and father torture me for hours, and the only thing he's ever done for me is leave the door unlocked later that night so that I could sneak out. You're my first girlfriend, Lissa, you know that, but I've liked you since third year. When I was seven, I disagreed with my parents on their attitude to Muggles in front of my Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus. My parents used the Cruciatus Curse on me and made me wear burnt-orange dress robe sot a Pureblood gathering, prompting my psychotic cousin and her Pureblood friends to torture me for a while more." I gasped softly at the thought of a little seven-year-old Sirius writhing on the floor as his parents tortured him. Who could be so heartless?

"In revenge, I tripped her on her way up the aisle at her wedding last year, and she and Rodolphus spent the first day of their honeymoon practicing the Cruciatus on me. I hear they get a lot of use out of it these days, torturing innocent people," Sirius murmured in a voice cold with fury. _"How about a round two for Daddy, Lissy? Would Daddy like that?" Bellatrix Lestrange taunted in a baby voice. "NO, NO! PLEASE, HURT ME INSTEAD!" I screamed, begging the sadistic monster that held her wand at my Dad's Adam's apple. She just smirked cruelly and shook her head slowly. "Not good enough, Lissy! We can't have people thinking that it's all right for Aurors to go around killing and capturing my friends, now can we? We also can't have little Half-blood sluts like you going around dating Purebloods like my cousin, can we, Lissa?"_

I knew, probably better than anyone but Sirius, exactly how much use Bellatrix got out of the Cruciatus Curse. My muscles went slack as I started to slide down the wall, panting in fear as I relived the worst night of my life. My parents had been tortured to within an inch of their lives and then pushed that extra inch by a jet of green light. My brother had been carved up in front of me, his leg shattered so badly that he'd left St Mungo's in a wheelchair. I had been Cruciod for hours, used as a punching bag and sliced up like a piece of meat on a butcher's block until I was covered in so many scars and bruises that I could no longer wear t-shirts and shorts. Unconsciously, I started to shake and tremble.

"They do, don't they?," I murmured softly, before breaking down completely, tears coursing down my cheeks like a waterfall of pain.

**Sirius' POV**

I backed away from Lissa slowly, feeling like I was swimming through treacle. I was so shocked I could barely breathe. _"They do, don't they?" _She didn't mean what I thought she did, did she? She knew how Bellatrix and Rodolphus got a lot of use out of their practice of Unforgiveable Curses by torturing innocents. The sudden realization steamrolled me, hitting me like a Bludger to the gut. But how else could she know?

Every last drop of anger I felt towards Lissa evaporated in an instant. I walked back over to her, kneeling down beside her as she crouched against the wall with her head buried in her knees as she sobbed her heart out into the knees of her blue denim jeans.

I reached out to pull Lissa's slight, curled-up form onto my lap as I sat with my legs spread wide and leaned back against the hard stonewall, curling a trembling and sobbing Lissa into my chest. I let her cry her heart out for what seemed like hours, but eventually my patience began to wear thin and I was afraid that I would explode due to my barely suppressed anger.

"Liss," I whispered softly in her ear, rubbing my hands in circular motions on her trembling back. If my scumbag cousins had so much as touched her… "Did Bellatrix or Rodolphus hurt you, love?" She cried harder, but said nothing, not that I needed her to. I had my answer. And if Lissa had been hurt by two Death Eaters, I doubted that they'd been alone. I bet I knew several people who'd either been there or knew who had been. If I could find those two scumbags who'd tortured Lissa a few weeks ago I'd have made a good start. From there I could try my former brother Regulus, Snivellus Snape, Rosier, Dolohov, McNair, and most of Slytherin House. I would find every last piece of shit that'd done this to Lissa, and I would make them pay.

**Lissa's POV**

"Did Bellatrix or Rodolphus hurt you, love?," Sirius asked ever so softly. I was crying hard, soaking Sirius' shirt as I tried desperately to curl closer into his chest as I relived that night over and over again. When I didn't answer I felt him stiffen, clearly having deduced for himself that his hunch was right. I wanted to deny it, remembering all that was at stake if what had happened became public knowledge, but I couldn't stop crying long enough to force a single word through my raw throat. I could feel Sirius' shaking with what I guessed was anger, and I couldn't believe that after all I'd put him through he would still be angry on my behalf.

"Who else, love?," Sirius asked, warm breath tickling my ear. My breath hitched and I almost choked. _No! _I had to stop this, had to make him believe that it was something else. If I didn't, I would probably end up in Azkaban. And with Sirius' infamous temper, maybe Crouch would be kind enough to give Sirius the cell across from me.

I was about to wriggle out of his tight embrace when the door flew open as McGonagall reversed her powerful locking spell and stepped into the room. I saw her take in the table Sirius had kicked over, the countless chairs he'd knocked, and finally, the two of us huddled together on the ground in what must have looked like a rather intimate embrace. Sirius froze, head snapping up to meet McGonagall's steely glare as she stood frozen in the doorway.

Finally she recovered enough to splutter out, "Mr Black, Ms Crawford, what on _earth_ are you doing?!" Her presence was like having a bucket of freezing water dumped over my head, and all of a sudden I came back to myself. What was I doing? Earth to Lissa, this is not only self-destructive behavior, but Sirius-destructive behavior as well!

Taking advantage of Sirius' shock, I pushed out of his arms and shoved past McGonagall out the classroom door. "MELISSA CRAWFORD, COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" I ignored McGonagall's shouts and the sounds of Sirius destroying more furniture as I sprinted through the corridors, throwing myself up stairs and around corners, ignoring the way my breath caught in my throat and my chest burned. I had to get there, I had realized moments ago that it was my only option.

I skidded to a stop outside the stone gargoyles and banged on the stonewall until my knuckles burst and stained the stone with blood. "LET ME IN!," I screamed desperately, using the last reserves of air my shrunken lungs could hold. The wall slid away and I dashed up the moving staircase, tripping and scraping my shins of the steps, but still not stopping. When I reached the top I threw the door on the tiny landing open, almost falling into the room.

Dumbledore rose behind his desk, looking concerned at the sight of me, robes slipping off my shoulders, clothes askew, eyes running, and panting like I'd just run a Muggle marathon. I planted my hands on the desk, breathing hard. Dumbledore waited in silence, giving me time to compose myself. When I'd gotten my breath back, I looked up and met those twinkling blue eyes framed by those famous gold half-moon spectacles. "Professor Dumbledore," I began, "There's something I need to tell you."

**So what will happen between Lissa and Dumbledore, and how will Sirius react now that he's guessed some of what happened to Lissa? Find out in the next chapter, which I'll be doing my best to have up soon (hint: reviews make me type faster ;))! Thanks for reading **


	13. Revelations

**Hello! I've finally managed to finish this chapter and it was sort of hard to write, so I hope it turned out all right! Thanks to last chapter's reviewers: **Vivi Bright**, **siriusfanno1** and the two guest reviewers. Enjoy the chapter! **

**Lissa's POV**

"Professor Dumbledore, there's something I need to tell you." Dumbledore sank back into his chair behind the headmaster's desk, gesturing for me to sit as well. I gladly sank down into the chair, remembering something as Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak. "Ms Crawford, what is it you—" "Sorry to interrupt you, Professor, but would you mind locking the office? It's just that I had detention and I left a bit abruptly, and I'm afraid that Professor McGonagall and Sirius Black could be along any second and this is really important. I think they might both be a bit angry with me."

Dumbledore smiled and flicked his wand towards the door, locking it securely. He turned back to me, resting his chin on his steepled fingers as he looked at me serenely. "Now, my dear, what was it you wanted to tell me?" I paused momentarily, unsure of how exactly to put this.

"Well, Professor," I began, wringing my hand in my lap, "It's about my family. See—" Dumbledore cut in. "Ms Crawford, this wouldn't happen to be about your brother Daniel and he and your cousin and their friend, would it?," Dumbledore asked curiously. "Well, it's all kind of connected really, sir. You see, DJ and Harry were in the Auror Training Program at the Ministry, and Jasper was in France for the program as well. It's about what happened over Christmas, that's why they all left the training program and started going after Death Eaters," I explained. The very last thing I wanted was for Dumbledore and his far-reaching influence at the Ministry to think that DJ, Harry and Jasper were dangerous criminals running amok full of uncontained bloodlust and red-hot rage. Because while all of that was 100% true, I didn't need Dumbledore to know that.

Dumbledore leaned forward a little, clearly interested. "Pray tell me what exactly happened over Christmas break, Melissa?" I flinched unconsciously at the name, no one had called me Melissa in years. My mother had been Melissa, and my mother was dead. "Ms Crawford, is everything alright?" I nodded. "Please sire, all me Lissa. Everyone else does." Dumbledore nodded with a small smile. "So, Lissa, you ere saying?"

I took a deep breath, steeling myself. I would not cry, I'd cried enough already this month. I would not cry anymore. "Well, Professor, on Christmas Eve me and my family were attacked by Death Eaters. Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, Rosier and Dolohov Sr., there were more but I didn't see their faces," I began, blanching at the memory of the dark cloaked figures, silver masks covering their faces. I shuddered before continuing, glancing up at Dumbledore. He was watching me carefully.

"They wanted my father because he was Head of the Auror Department. They tortured us all for hours, and then they killed my parents. It wasn't just the Cruciatus Curse, they used cutting curses and burning hexes as well. Bellatrix Lestrange shattered my brother's right leg. DJ and I spent a while in Mungo's, but since he's of age he discharged himself. He wasn't my legal guardian though, so I had to stay. A few days later I got a visit from Mr Crouch, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He told me that if I told anyone what had happened apart from the McKinnons he'd put me in Azkaban for releasing confidential Ministry information, and I know that if catches DJ, Harry and Jasper, he'll definitely out them in Azkaban as well, probably without bothering to try them. I guess I just didn't know what else to do but tell you, Professor."

Finally having got out everything I had to say, I let out a gasp of air and let my chin fall down onto my chest, refusing to let myself cry. After a long moment, Dumbledore replied. I brought my eyes up to meet his, and he gave me a smile that spoke not of pity, but of empathy, something I was immensely grateful for.

"Well, Lissa dear, it seems as though you have indeed been through a lot. I must admit, I did have my suspicions when your father was absent from the Ministry when I visited just after the New Year, but I must say that I never thought that it had been quite as bad. I will admit that I became a little suspicious when Poppy confided to me about numerous scars and bruises she found on your person when she was treating you after your potions incident and other recent accidents. Were your injuries so bad that the Healers couldn't heal them?"

I nodded my head slowly. "I suppose, sir. Most of them were cursed, very strong Dark Magic. The Healers couldn't…nothing would work properly, so I was left with some scars and bruises. They're curse scars, they told me they'll never heal."

Dumbledore reached out and patted my hand softly, and I did my level best not to jerk away. "Lissa dear, have you told anyone, except for me of course, about what happened?"

I nodded hesitantly. _Dumbledore won't tell Crouch, you can trust him. _"The McKinnons, including Marlene McKinnon, know because I stayed at their house after I was released from Mungo's. Mr McKinnon heard about what had happened from one of his colleagues in the Department of Magical Enforcement. I wrote about it to my friends Alice Prewett, Emmeline Vance, Lily Evans and Mary McDonald, so they know as well. Obviously, my cousin Jasper knows, and Harry Simmons too. Harry wrote to his brother Wade Simmons, in Ravenclaw, so he knows as well. And now I guess Sirius knows as well, and Professor McGonagall's probably figured out from his screaming what happened as well."

Dumbledore nodded carefully, looking to be thinking hard. I waited in silence for him to say something, and finally he did. "Well, Lissa, it seems that I will have to have a word with Sirius Black, and of course I'll have to inform the other teachers of your position. I presume you would rather that one of your professors would obliviously hand you off to Barty Crouch?" I nodded, already picturing the possible scene with horror.

"Well then, it seems that there is really very little else to do but for you to 'lie low', as the Muggles say, and try to avoid excess attention, especially from certain members of Slytherin House. From what Professor McGonagall has told me about why she decided to have you and Mr Black left alone to sort out your differences, the two of you were in a romantic relationship prior to the holidays, and you were the one who decided to end it. She also added that Mr Black does not seem to have taken it very well, and has repeatedly hexed other boys in the corridors out of jealousy, particularly one Wade Simmons?"

I nodded, gritting my teeth angrily as I recalled the amount of abuse Sirius and his deplorable friends had sent Wade's way- stinging and burning hexes, showing up at Ravenclaw Quidditch training and jinxing him off his broomstick in mid-air, planting Dung Bombs in his schoolbag and slugs in his bed. They had been truly horrible, and I knew that even the eternally patient and calm Wade would snap very soon.

"Would I be correct in assuming, Lissa, that your break-up with Sirius Black is directly related to what happened over Christmas?" I nodded, something I seemed to be doing a lot lately. A bitter taste rose in my mouth as I answered. "Yeah, sir. It was his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. She said that I wasn't…worthy of his 'pure blood'. Regulus Black told her that I was going out with his brother, and I'm positive that the instant I leave school for the summer holidays I'll be running out of Hogsmeade station with half of the Back clan hot on my heels for snagging their precious Pure-blooded boy. They threatened Lily Evans and James Potter too, sir, said some awful things about Lily's heritage and called James a blood traitor," I spat bitterly, not even bothering with politeness. I hated the Black family with a passion that burned like a thousand suns (they were single-handedly responsible for ruining my life after all) and I saw no problem in letting Dumbledore see this. _Mother-fucking Pureblood elitist assholes, and the whole 'mother-fucking' thing had never been more appropriate insult, since it's actually quite probably true._

"Admirable, ending your relationship to protect Mr Black. I can see that you care very much for him, and that this is very difficult for you. You should know, though, that it was probably the best decision you could have made to keep Sirius safe. It may not be a good idea to inform Mr Black of why exactly you have done this, as I don't really think he is the type to let others protect him." I nodded in agreement, barely able to imagine the full extent of the anger Sirius would exhibit if he were to find out. The token few tables and chairs he'd broken or thrown around in McGonagall's classroom would be nothing compared to the Armageddon he would create if he thought that everything I'd done, breaking up with him and distancing myself from him, no matter how much it tore me apart, had all been to protect him.

Dumbledore wasn't finished yet though. "I was wondering though, Lissa, why you haven't cut off all ties with your friends as well as Mr Black, seeing as how Mr Potter and Ms Evans were threatened specifically. What was your reasoning behind that, my dear?"

I froze, self-disgust and shame washing through me. If only I was more persuasive… I'd never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to my friends because of me. The same went for Sirius, James, Peter and Remus. I suppose I didn't really know them all that well, but I still considered them friends of a sort.

I answered Dumbledore hesitantly. "I really did try, Professor, but none of them would listen to me. Lily said that she's in danger anyway, what with being a Muggleborn; Marlene's father is in the Auror Department, so she and her family could be a target any day now; and Emmeline, Mary and Alice are all either Purebloods or Half-bloods, but they've all made their allegiance clear. Wade Simmons is in almost as much danger as I am, what with his brother running around with my brother and cousin. No matter what I said they had an excuse, they refused to drop me. I guess that after all that's happened, I just don't have the strength to try to cut them off yet. I'm not sure if I ever will, but if they're in any more danger than they already are I'll find it."

Dumbledore nodded solemnly. "An avenue worth considering, Lissa, if you can find the strength for that sacrifice within you. Until I can speak with Mr Black, though, you may want to avoid spending too much time in close contact with him. It did sound like he was angry, but I'll try and steer Minerva away from giving him _too_ many detentions," he said with a wink. "Goodnight now, Lissa."

I got up and left the office quickly, throwing a polite goodnight over my shoulder as I walked through the door, letting it close gently behind me. I hurried down the moving staircase and out into the corridor, not even looking back to watch the wall slide back over the entrance to the headmaster's office. The intense conversation had taken a lot out of me, and I desperately needed to get away. It was after curfew though, and I doubted that McGonagall would assign me an easy detention if I was caught after the events of tonight. I'd probably end up giving her a pedicure or something, a Muggle spa treatment she no doubt was familiar with from the stacks of Muggle magazines she'd confiscated from Rhonda Corner. I shivered at the thought of having to touch McGonagall's bare feet.

I stopped at the main doors to summon my broom from under my bed in my dormitory, praying that it wouldn't arrive with Mrs Norris seated languidly on it, Filch hot on her heels to announce that I had committed a crime worthy of capital punishment. My broom arrived less than a minute late, miraculously having navigated the corridors without picking up Filch, Mrs Norris or a Prefect. I earnestly hoped that none of the off-duty Gryffindor Prefects or do-gooders had spotted my broom flying rider-less through the Common Room, as it was very recognizable as mine (on hindsight, maybe carving my name into the handle and charming the writing to flash neon pink had not been the wisest choice, but hey, I'd been a second year!) and I really didn't want to have to deal with any trouble (see McGonagall's unlikelihood to go easy on me). I grasped the broom and headed out the doors.

It was freezing outside, but it was, after all, about ten o'clock on a late February night. Really, I should just have been thankful that it wasn't lashing rain as well. I clutched my broom to me tightly, wishing that I'd had the foresight to summon a cloak alongside my broom. It would have been easier to fly, but I could easily be seen from here as opposed to from the Quidditch pitch, which was mostly obscured from the view of anyone peeking out through a castle window, especially at this late hour. Feeling almost unbearably tightly-wound and overwrought, I hurried through the grounds with my head down to stop the wind savaging my face. High in the dark night sky, a glowing full moon shone.

**Sirius' POV**

I'd been cradling a sobbing and unresponsive Lissa in my arms when McGonagall decided to develop a gift for shitty timing and make a reappearance. The spell she'd used to lock the doors had been incredibly strong so that neither Lissa nor I would be able to undo it even with our wands, so when she'd reversed it the door had slammed into the classroom. I'd immediately started cursing McGonagall and her aforementioned shitty timing, expecting another major freak-out from a clearly emotionally fragile Lissa. I had not been expecting Lissa to leap out of my arms, shove McGonagall out of the way and dash out the classroom door, tears raining and plait swinging out behind her as she went.

McGonagall, authoritarian bitch that she is (in the most affectionate way possible, of course), yelled after Lissa to come back, as though _that_ would be happening. I, however, had sat there for several long seconds trying to absorb the fact that immediately after indirectly telling me that my cousins had tortured her, my ex-girlfriend had ran off on me and shoved a teacher on the way. Of course, I bounce back quickly, so thirty seconds later I was on my feet punching the ever-loving shit out of the classroom furniture, ignoring the burning gashes on my knuckles that streamed copious amounts of blood. I also very conveniently developed selective hearing as McGonagall's yelling reached ear-splitting levels.

"SIRIUS BLACK, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" I ignored her and punched through yet another desk (made of surprisingly flimsy material, actually, must call Dumbledore out on cheap-skate tactics when not in murderous rage). "SIRIUS BLACK, YOU PUT THAT CHAIR DOWN!" I proceed to not only not put that chair down, put to pick up another for good measure in my other hand, throwing them so forcefully at McGonagall's desk that it split in half. "BLACK, STOP RIGHT NOW!" I ignored her for the nth time, blood pounding in my ears as I flaked the stonewall with my fists, pounding my knuckles into pulp but still not stopping.

Suddenly, McGonagall appeared to reach breaking point and flicked her wand at me, freezing me in place with a Full Body-Bind Curse. I keeled over and hit the ground hard, unable to break my fall. McGonagall, apparently still pissed off about the whole furniture-destruction business, didn't bother with a Cushioning spell on my behalf. She stood over me as I lay immobilized on the ground, nostrils flared and fists clenched so tightly her knuckles were white and almost bursting through the skin.

"Now that I have your attention, Mr Black, I can tell you that not only will you have detention every night for the foreseeable future, but I will be taking you to Professor Dumbledore to see if he has anything to add to your punishment, just as soon as Madam Pomfrey finishes attending to you self-inflicted wounds. I won't even start on what was happening between yourself and Ms Crawford when I entered the room. Now, I am going to free you and you are going to follow me to the Hospital Wing and from there to Professor Dumbledore's office, or Gryffindor will find themselves without a Keeper for the Ravenclaw match on Friday. Understood?"

Evidently taking my enforced silence for agreement, McGonagall freed me and led me out of the room. As we walked through the corridors I remembered with a groan that tonight was the full moon, and that there was no way I'd be able to make it. If I wasn't allowed to play on Friday we'd have to forfeit, which would probably leave Slytherin and Ravenclaw in the finals, and a better chance of a Slytherin victory. I had to find a way to let James and Peter know, or they could end up waiting for me all night, leaving Remus to go through the painful transformation on his own.

When we arrived at the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfrey immediately ushered me over to a cot to wait while she exchanged a few words with McGonagall. A few minutes later McGonagall left and Pomfrey made he way over to me, supplies in tow. "Honestly dear," she tutted as she dabbed a stinging antiseptic solution over my shredded knuckles, ''What did that furniture ever do to you?" I shrugged, wincing as the solution kicked in. My entire hand felt like it was on fire, and I marveled at the effects of blind rage as a painkiller. I doubted that anyone on earth could truly fault me for my outburst knowing the full story.

I cared about Lissa so damn much that I thought I might even love her (a first for me, no matter what shit I've spouted to girls in broom closets in the past), and she had indirectly told me that my cousins had tortured her brutally. Judging by the speed she'd ran out of the room at the first opportunity and the fact that she'd probably never intended to inform me just how twisted and sick my family really were, I could only deduce that there was no way she could ever love me back. Both thoughts sent a lance of pain through my heart, so I unconsciously clenched my fists to give me a physical pain to distract me from the heartbreak. The newly-applied bandages were immediately soaked through with blood, and a disapproving Pomfrey replaced them with a warning to me that I didn't even hear.

My hands tended to, Pomfrey left me to recuperate on a cot and hurried off, presumably to fetch Remus and bring him down to the Whomping Willow. I'd been expecting McGonagall to swoop down on me and drag me off to be punished the instant that Pomfrey had finished treating me, but she didn't reappear for what seemed like hours. I quickly sent James and Peter a short message (_'in trouble, can't escape, go ahead without me') _on a piece of parchment filched from the drawer of a nightstand, and sent it with a handy charm Remus had come up with. I then sat on the cot counting vomit stains and playing with my wand, bored out of my tree. Later, an open window allowed the unmistakable howl of a werewolf to reach me from somewhere out on the grounds, and I felt the guilt for missing Remus' transformation roll over me like a tide.

McGonagall finally reappeared, wordlessly summoning me. I complied, letting her lead me to Dumbledore's office. She gave the gargoyle the password and told me that Dumbledore wanted to see me alone. Chock-full of apprehension, I climbed the moving staircase to Dumbledore's office, and, knocking on the door, entered.

**James' POV**

Peter and I were waiting under my Invisibility Cloak in the Entrance Hall for Sirius when the little piece of parchment arrived. I clutched at it, assuming correctly that it was from Sirius, explaining his absence. I read it quickly, afraid to make a sound and attract either Filch or a Prefect, passed it to Peter wordlessly. Then we both made our way out into the grounds, where we left the Invisibility Cloak in a bush and shifted into our Animagus forms. In stag form, I reared up and took off for the Whomping Willow, taking care not to step on Peter, who had taken the form of a rat.

We reached the boarded-up room in the Whomping Willow to find Moony already in wolf form and prowling around, scratching and clawing at himself and the furniture as he tried desperately to escape the confines of the small room. Using my rather impressive antlers I managed to herd him up and out of the tunnel, thanks to Wormtail having frozen the vicious swinging branch. I'd almost lost an eye to that branch in fourth year after my beautiful Lily had pushed me over into its path unwittingly after turning down my invitation to Hogsmeade rather angrily. I really, really liked Lily, but compared to Sirius', my love life was amazing. At least Lily hadn't had a committed relationship with me for two months before breaking up with me without reason via letter.

Peter hopped up onto my back to avoid Moony's paws and clung on tightly as I chased Moony around the Black Lake eagerly. I was always so full of energy, but if I ran around as enthusiastically as this in human form I'd attract some odd looks and comments on my immaturity from my lovely Lilyflower. I ran for hours under the light of the full moon, letting off steam and managing to stop Moony injuring himself too badly. Occasionally I spared a thought for Sirius, wondering what the hell he'd managed to do during his 'counseling session' with Lissa that was so bad that he'd be tied up all night. Maybe he'd gone and hexed a Prefect or two on his way back to the Common Room, or maybe he'd been caught shagging Indira Patil, the Ravenclaw Prefect who was on patrol tonight, in broom closet again. Either way, I was sure he'd be fine. Padfoot was well able to look after himself, despite the healthy streak of stupidity he displayed occasionally he was a veritable genius, even if his efforts in class were so mediocre that I'd once heard Shipton ask McGonagall if it was a result of inbreeding. No wonder Sirius had chosen Muggle Studies over Divination, Shipton's subject. Although it may have had something to do with the fact that the Muggle Studies curriculum included a section on motorcycles.

Moony chased me out of the Forbidden Forest and around the shore of the Lake, yipping like an overgrown puppy at the delight of the exercise and freedom. Moony was like this only if we could ensure that any humans were kept well at bay and that the big puppy was kept constantly occupied. We were splashing through the shallows of the Lake when Moony suddenly skidded to a halt, raised his nose to the wind and sniffed. Then he let out a growl and turned tail and ran towards the shore. I shrugged my fur-covered, muscled shoulders and made sure that Wormtail wasn't still on my back (he was so light, it's not like I'd notice if he was) before shifting back to human form. The feel of wet fur was so unpleasant, soaked jeans and a soggy t-shirt could at least be dried by a hand that, thanks to opposable thumbs, could use a wand.

I was looking around for Moony when I heard the first scream. It was shrill and high and horribly familiar from every time she'd been hurt badly at Quidditch training. Lissa Crawford was frozen in place with horror, wide eyes trained on Moony the werewolf as he sprinted towards her. Then I was running, splashing through the shallows loudly. Lissa's head snapped round, eyes widening with recognition as I appeared out of the gloomy mist that surrounded the Lake at night.

I thought she'd scream again, try to run, but she didn't. I sprinted towards her, but I knew that if Moony decided to attack her there was no way I could get there in time. Lissa seemed to be taking deep breaths, eyes shut tightly, probably praying. Then, just as Moony was mere feet away from her, Lissa's eyes flew open and she waved her wand precisely. Moony stopped in his tracks, completely frozen in place down to his last hair. Whatever spell Lissa had used probably wasn't even Ministry approved yet, I'd have known if there was any way to stop a werewolf without injuring them badly. I wondered why Lissa hadn't just shot a couple of stunners Remus' way.

I ran up to Lissa, drying my robes magically as I went. Lissa whirled round to greet me with a shocked face. "This is Remus, isn't it?," she asked with a face as white as snow. I was a terrible liar, so that left only one option: the truth. I nodded. "Yeah." She nodded slowly. "_Moony. _Makes sense I guess," she stated with a shrug. Then she looked up at me sharply. "Wait just a minute. Your nicknames, the fact that you're out with Remus when he's in werewolf form, the fact that you're alive after being out with him tonight…," she trailed off, looking up at me, expression one of mixed shock and awe. _She knew, she knew, she KNEW! Aw, shit!_

"You're all Animagi," she breathed. I ducked my head, nodding. "How long?" "The start of our fifth year," I answered. "That's-that's amazing. How did you do it? It must have been complicated," she mused, sounding impressed at what we'd achieved. I was in some deep shit once the others found out she knew.

"It was hard enough, but Sirius found a book in his family's library…Lissa, what's wrong?" Lissa had gone very red all of a sudden. "That son of a bitch! In a two moth-long relationship he never once thought to tell me that he was a fucking Animagus!," Lissa raged, stomping her foot hard on the snow. Judging by her current expression, she was imagining the snow was Padfoot.

"Hey now, Crawford, that's hardly fair. You won't tell him about you secret, so why can't he have one?," I reasoned, doing my best to defend my friend against his raging ex. If it was possible, her face got even redder.

"Well that fucking berk found out my secret tonight during McGonagall's sodding detention, and with his ginormous mouth he's going to tell the entire fucking school and land me in bloody Azkaban! I swear to Merlin, if I'm going to Azkaban he can have the cell across from me for being an illegal fucking Animagus!," she yelled furiously.

"No, Liss, please, you can't tell anyone!," I begged, already seeing the inside of an Azkaban cell. Then she was in my arms, sobbing like she was dying. I held her awkwardly. _If Sirius could see me now, he'd flay me alive and hang the skin from the goal hoops on the Quidditch pitch. _

Suddenly she jerked out of my arms, wiping her eyes hurriedly. When she was finished she looked up at me with a small smile. "Don't worry James, I won't tell. Not even Marley, I swear. Just tell me this one thing- what form does Sirius take?," she asked shyly. "He's a dog, a big black dog," I answered, feeling there was hardly any point in not telling her that, since she already knew everything else.

"A dog," she whispered, seeming to hug to herself the little nugget of private information about Sirius with a small smile. Then she leaned up to kiss me on the cheek. "Thanks James," she murmured, before running off into the night. I shook my head, freeing Remus and shifting back to stag form. Like hell did she not care about Sirius!

**Sirius' POV**

"…Whatever you think you may know, Mr Black, must remain private. It cannot become public knowledge without hurting Ms Crawford, something I cannot imagine you would want. I cannot tell you Ms Crawford's secrets, and I highly doubt she will want to fill you in on what you don't know either. Trust her, Mr Black, and trust me, when we say that this is very serious business. If Lissa Crawford ever tells you her secrets, it must be her decision," Dumbledore finished.

I nodded shortly from where I sat slumped in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. The old geezer had just spent the last century lecturing me on respecting Lissa's privacy and judgement, and since this was the headmaster of Hogwarts I knew that as well as having obviously having been tortured, Lissa was mixed up in some serious shit.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he took in my less-than-thrilled expression as I got up to leave. I was opening the office door to leave when he called me back. I turned around to look at him, one hand already on the door. "Oh, and Mr Black, do stop hexing poor Mr Simmons in the corridors. Jealousy is most unbecoming on you."

I nodded shortly and slammed the door on my way out (it's not like it was possible to give me _more_ detention than McGonagall already had). I snorted as I ran down the steps of the moving staircase and out into the hallway, heading towards the Common Room. _Jealousy is most unbecoming on you. _Pshaw… _Nothing_ was unbecoming on _me_.

**So Lissa knows Sirius is an Animagus, and James is starting to think Lissa still likes Sirius. Speaking off, how do you think Sirius will react to Lissa's revelation? Liked the chapter, hated it? Please review **


	14. Letters from Bella

**Hello! There's a bit of a time jump in this chapter, but it was necessary and it's explained in the chapter anyway, so I don't think there'll be any confusion. Read & Review (pretty please!) **

**Lissa's POV**

February gave way to March and then to April, the months passing in a whirlwind of classes, homework and Quidditch practices. We beat Ravenclaw by twenty points in Quidditch, had already beaten Hufflepuff before Christmas, and now looked set to play Slytherin in the final for the House Cup. Sirius still jinxed Wade regularly, and had been unapologetically staring at me with questions in his eyes, but never put myself into a situation where it would be possible to discuss what had happened to me. I wasn't stupid though- I was well aware of the fact that he'd told James, Remus and Peter, because they too sent me the odd looks. I'd learned to ignore them, and to bury myself in Quidditch and homework to try and forget. All of my friends were worried about me, but they didn't know the half of it.

DJ, Jasper and Harry hadn't stopped at that first encounter with the Death Eaters, nor did their list of kills sit at one any longer. Every few days in the Daily Prophet there would be an article detailing their exploits, the only way I had of knowing that my brother was still alive. He didn't write me letters, maybe because he knew that if they were intercepted I'd be in trouble, maybe because he didn't want to see my reply. Also detailed in the Prophet were the Death Eaters' many raids to attempt to find the three of them, all unsuccessful so far. I presumed DJ would be pleased- by all accounts he was high up on Voldemort's kill list. Bellatrix Lestrange especially was getting frustrated, leading many of the raids according to witnesses. I knew better than anyone, for she had written me a letter, the first of many:

_Dear Lissy,_

_I hear you've broken up with dear Sirius, a very wise choice to be sure. You must know that your tainted blood would never make you worthy of a Pureblood, disowned or not. _

_Your brother certainly thinks highly of his and his little friends' dueling abilities, doesn't he, coming after Death Eaters? Jasper, your cousin and Harold Simmons, his friend, am I right? I know that they're all very special to you, Lissy, so don't worry: I'll take care of the all personally. Then I'll come back for you, of course. DJ would want to see his little sister die._

_Because you will die, you know. If I have anything to say about it, I'll be the one to do it. But don't worry, I'll give you the death you deserve: slow and painful. You don't really have long now, Lissy. Summer's coming quickly, and I'll be waiting._

_Since I haven't seen any reports in the _Prophet_, I can only presume that dear old Barty Crouch Sr has told you to keep your mouth shut. I must remember to impart this presumption of mine to our recruits and allies in Slytherin House, resourceful little boys that they are, I'm sure they'll know what to do. Something to think about, Lissy._

_Tell Danny Boy I was asking for him,_

_Bellatrix Lestrange_

No one knew about that letter nor the ones that followed, not even Dumbledore. I'd seen the little glances some of the Slytherins gave me- Antonin Dolohov, Evan Rosier, Regulus Black. I had no doubt that at the first opportunity they could expose me and land me in a cell in Azkaban. Bellatrix Lestrange would kill when I was half-insane, a blessing I suppose. I'd done my best to avoid to Slytherins lately, but it was hard, being in several of the same classes with them.

My friends were blissfully unaware of Bellatrix's threats. Emmeline, Alice and Marlene had all gotten themselves boyfriends, coincidentally all seventh year Gryffindor boys. Alice and Frank Longbottom had been going strong for almost two months now, and were quite possibly the cutest couple I'd ever seen. They balanced each other out perfectly: Alice giving Frank that extra bit of mischief and Frank managing to mellow Alice down a little. Short, vibrant little Alice with her honey-brown bob looked absolutely adorable next to the tall, relaxed darker-haired Frank.

Emmeline had shocked possibly the whole school, not that she'd have gone for anything less. Ian Harrington had asked her out one day at lunch, and she'd responded by snogging him enthusiastically for about ten minutes, not that Ian had had any problem with reciprocating. In many ways they were similar, both as mischievous and devilish as each other, eager to pull a fast one on somebody while simultaneously managing to stay near the top of the class without doing a spot of work. Ian's dark eyes and shaggy dirty-blond hair made him, according to Emmeline "so bloody sexy", and most of the female population of Hogwarts heartily agreed. Emmeline's silky coal-black hair and big blue eyes were intimidating enough to keep away the Ian Harrington Fan Club, if not her quick spellwork and proficiency at jinxes. Ian adored Emmeline and Emmeline adored Ian, which I'm guessing is more or less why a week into their relationship a glowing Emmeline described rather graphically how she'd lost her virginity to him under the Quidditch bleachers. Putting aside the fact that he wasn't opposed to a quickie (not that Emmeline was either, after her apparently mind-blowing experience), Ian was a surprising gentleman, and Emmeline made an awesome girlfriend.

Marlene and Benjy Fenwick, on the other hand, were the most unlikely couple I'd ever seen. They both bickered like eighty-year-old grannies, but definitely didn't snog like them. I'll give it to Marlene, she really knew how to pick a hot boyfriend. Benjy was borderline scrawny and about Marlene's height, with a head of bouncy chocolate locks that could only be described as fluffy. He had a matching set of freckles speckled across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, and his eyes sparkled when he stuck out his tongue or laughed, which was often. Not that Benjy had gotten the short end of the stick either with Marlene- silky blond hair, porcelain skin, and perfect figure. They were just so _cute_ together!

Lily still detested James Potter for being an 'arrogant bullying toe-rag', but personally I thought he'd grown up a lot in the past few months. He'd cut down on hexing people for no reason, and his pranks, while maybe a little embarrassing for the victim, were relatively harmless and very funny. In my opinion Lily lacked a little perspective, and I had no doubt that she and James would end up together some day, even if that day seemed like it wouldn't arrive for the two centuries between Lily's stubbornness and James misguided persistence.

Mary was still quite friendly with the Prewett twins, harmlessly flirting and enjoying long chats with both of them, Gideon especially. I would have found this a lot sweeter if I didn't have the distinct suspicion that many of these long chats were about me and my secrets and/or my badly hidden drinking binges and depressive behavior. Whether I liked it or not though, Fabian and Gideon hadn't betrayed my secrets to anyone yet, not even to their best friend Ian Harrington, so I couldn't doubt their trustworthiness.

Sirius, needless to say, hadn't taken my indirect confession all too well, no matter what Dumbledore had tried to tell him. With the help of his more-than-enthusiastic friends, Sirius had relentlessly pranked and hexed every Slytherin he suspected of having Death Eater connections (see: all of Slytherin House, in Sirius' mind anyway). He seemed to be in detention every night and at Quidditch practice every morning and evening, yet he still managed to do the bare minimum of schoolwork necessary and have plenty of spare time left over. I don't know how he does it, and I get the distinct feeling that I don't want to either.

One Friday evening towards the end of April found me holed up in the library, scribbling out extra-credit assignments because I'd finished all the required ones. Emmeline was off with Ian (probably in a broom closet somewhere), Alice was out walking with Frank (snogging), and Marlene had dragged Benjy down to the kitchens because she'd had a chocolate craving. Lily was helping Mary with her Potions homework up in the Common Room, as Mary had refused to come down to the library on account of the fact that the Prewett twins were in the Common Room.

I finished up my extra-credit assignment with a sigh and shoved all of my stuff into my bag before leaving for the kitchens. I'd been in the library for hours, so Madam Pince would start throwing students out of the library for curfew soon. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and performed a Disillusionment Charm. I strolled leisurely through the corridors, giving several Prefects the Disillusioned finger as I went.

Once I got to the kitchens I asked the House Elves for a jug of coffee and bar of chocolate, then proceeded to slump across a bench by one of the long tables and pour coffee down my throat directly from the jug, not caring when it scalded me so badly that my throat most likely had third-degree burns. When my throat could withstand no more, I started on my chocolate, dipping it into the remnants of my coffee before I ate it. When I finished the coffee and chocolate, I moved onto Firewhiskey.

More than anything I wanted peace, and short of diving off the Astronomy Tower to knock myself out (Plan B), the only way of achieving that was to consume copious amounts of Firewhiskey. So I poured burning Firewhiskey down my throat until everything became so blurry and I felt so light-headed that I had to lay my head down on the table or fall off the bench onto the floor. Unconsciousness swum up to meet me as closed my eyes and rested my head against the cool wood of the table, the unconsciousness bringing the gift I desired most in the world: to forget, even if it was just for a while.

**Sirius' POV**

Ever since Lissa had inadvertently revealed her secret during that disastrous detention from McGonagall (and I had had many detentions with the ever-charming Minnie since then), living for me had become focusing, every day, on not blowing up and murdering every future and present Death Eater at Hogwarts before jumping the walls of the grounds to jump at the Dark Lord screaming expletives. You know, go out in a blaze of memorable glory, because at least that way I could be sure that Lissa would never forget me, even if one day she settled down and married someone else.

At least this way I wouldn't have to watch, a thought that caused me actual physical pain. Because they were such great friends (putting up with endless amounts of my personal shit), James, Remus and Peter's lives had consisted mainly of attempting to steer me away from Slytherins and suicidal thoughts. The key word, of course, was 'attempted', and I managed to hit my mark on a Slytherin with many a curse or jinx. It may not have been right, but it sure did make me feel better, which in turn made me want to murder less people because I was happier, meaning that really my hitting Lucian Bulstrode with a Bat Bogey Hex was for the greater good and resulted in a considerably lower body count than If I'd just gone to class and exploded due to suppressed fury.

Unfortunately, McGonagall did not agree, and March and most of April, for me at least, were spent scrubbing the floors of the teachers' offices. Several of them actually stood over me and smirked as I scrubbed at what for the most part were definitely deliberate stains. Professor Johnson, ever the consummate asshole, made a point of sitting with his feet propped up on his desk, 'accidentally' knocking opened pots of ink onto the floor. I'm positive that this was deliberate, because seriously, who the fuck keeps fifty opened pots of ink on their desk for kicks? Like I said, Johnson was a consummate asshole and that was like 90% of the reason I failed to hand in Defense homework regularly.

To distract me from potential triggers for my recently frequent bouts of homicidal rage, James had suggested we leave our homework for the weekend and play a two-on-two Quidditch match, me and Remus against James and Peter. The only problem was that there was a reason neither Peter nor Remus had made the Quidditch team in the five years they'd been eligible: both were, to put it frankly, shit at Quidditch.

"MOONY, _PASS!_," I screamed, waving my arms around wildly (anything to give him a bigger target to aim for). Remus, face screwed up in intense concentration, threw the Quaffle we'd 'borrowed' from the supplies shed using James' captains' key. He missed of course, but I swerved to the right and managed to catch it before James reached it. Several feet below us and about two feet off the ground (the highest he'd go), Peter fell off his borrowed broom for the twentieth time in the past hour. "You're actually getting better, Wormy!," yelled Remus in encouragement. I was beginning to think that Remus was glad that there was someone worse than him at flying, but being Remus would never show it. Oh no, Remus was typically so nice that there were times that I imagined that when he died he'd apologize to Death for the inconvenience of having to move him from the mortal coil. Still, that was Moony for you.

We called it a day after Peter fell for the last time and screamed up to us that he thought he might have dislocated a shoulder. "C'mon Pete," James sighed, throwing one of Peter's arms over his won shoulder to help Peter hobble to the Castle, Remus and I following once we'd replaced the 'borrowed' Quidditch equipment.

Remus and I wandered through the corridors in silence (it was well after curfew) at least until both our stomachs growled instantaneously. I glanced over at Remus to find him looking at me already. "I think, my dear Moony," I said grandly, "That if we do end up with detention for breaking curfew, we should at least get it on a full stomach." Remus merely grinned in response before breaking into a run in the direction of the kitchens, me in hot pursuit.

Remus skidded to a stop in front of the painting of the fruit bowl and reached out to touch it. I sprinted up behind him and shoved him out of the way, reaching up to tickle the pear myself. "Could've just told me you wanted to do it," Remus muttered under his breath, glaring darkly at me. I grinned widely. "But that, my dear Moony, wouldn't be half as much fun. Shall we?" I waved my hand in the vague direction of the door that had appeared in place of the fruit bowl painting. Remus scoffed at my attempt at grand gesture and shoved past me, making me stumble into the doorframe and crack my shoulder off it. Cursing Remus, I moved into the kitchens and promptly stopped in my tracks, banging into Remus' back, as evidently he'd had the same reaction.

Lissa, my lovely Lissa, was hanging off a bench lengthwise passed out, surrounded by a crowd of concerned but confused House Elves. On the table beside her were several bottles of Firewhiskey, an empty jug that had likely contained more alcohol, and a chocolate bar wrapper. I was well aware of the mechanics of drinking oneself into a stupor so that you no longer had to face the world, and it killed me that Lissa had clearly felt the need to do so. Her face was pale and covered in a thin film of sweat, dark circles under her eyes as she slept for what looked like the first time in months. Her dark hair was spilling out of its clumsy braid, strands stuck to her face with droplets of perspiration. As Remus and I looked on, Lissa jerked sharply, head rising and falling to crack off the bench with a sickening crack, and started to sob and whimper pitifully in her sleep. She was thrashing around violently, trying to fight off invisible enemies. I had loathed my cousins before, but now I wanted to boil them alive in oil and dance on their graves. Lissa jerked violently again, and I hurried to her side just in time to catch her as she rolled off the bench.

"I've got some homework…So I'll just go now… Yeah" Remus left for the Common Room, tactfully giving us space and privacy. _Good old Moony. _I straightened up with Lissa in my arms before turning to the anxious House Elves. "Mr Black, the young lady, is she being okay?," asked one wrinkly little creature. "Yeah, she'll be fine, Twinkle. I think she just needs some rest," I answered kindly, smiling at the distressed House Elf. Twinkle responded with a bigger smile than I thought possible for a House Elf. _It's not like Kreacher smiles much, slimy little bastard._

"Is there anything else you would be wanting, Mr Black?" I was about to shake my head when I caught sight of Lissa's empty bottles of Firewhiskey out of the corner of my eye. "Yes, Twinkle, actually. Could you get me a large bottle of Firewhiskey please?" Twinkle nodded enthusiastically, scurrying off to pursue my Elf returned several minutes later, and, seeing that I had no free hand to take the bottle, tucked it under Lissa's unconscious arm and let it rest on her lap, looking up at me anxiously for approval. I nodded gratefully and left throwing thank you's over my shoulder as I went.

"Oh Liss," I sighed, running my thumb over her full lower lip, "Why did Bella, Lucius, Rodolphus, Reg and 'Bastan have to hurt _you?_" I hated my cousins even more than my parents in that moment, and that was saying something. Joke was on them though, in the end. That night I'd left home and mother dear had tortured the ever-living shit out of me when she'd caught me sneaking out the backdoor in the dead of night with everything I owned a couple of things that I didn't, she'd forgotten to take back the stolen items on my person in the hat of her post-torture glow. Every night of last summer, the Potters' (filthy blood traitors according to dear mummy and daddy) and I had wined and dined on Black family silverware. So to hate my cousins more than my parents not just on account of the fact that 99.99% of them were the branded servants of an unhinged, egotistical megalomaniac, but because they'd hurt Lissa, was significant.

Over the past two months without Lissa, I hadn't been able to even look at another girl. That was significant for me, as I was as I politely described it 'in possession of a more than healthy sex drive' or as the rather cynical Moony put it 'in possession of the mentality of a hump-happy rabbit'. I had always cared about Lissa a lot, but lately I'd begun to realize that I'd come to _love _her. The first girl I'd ever loved, and there was about as much chance of her loving me back as there was of Lucius Malfoy leaving my cousin to shack up with a Muggleborn and having her bear his love-child. Merlin did my life suck, I thought with a heavy sigh. I hugged Lissa closer to me, desperate for any form of comfort, and the glass bottle of Firewhiskey placed in her arms caught the light. _Thank Merlin for alcohol, 'cos I'm sure gonna need it tonight._

**Lissa's POV**

I came to slowly, the familiar pounding headache kicking in as I opened my eyes a crack with a pained groan. I seemed to be moving, rocking slightly as I was held up against something warm. My brain was too fuzzy to make connections, but what if I'd been kidnapped by a bunch of Slytherins or something. Rosier was an incredibly sneaky, conniving bastard, and I wouldn't put it past him to hurt of kill me while I was in la-la land.

I forced my eyed to open, realizing quickly by the male chest that I was pressed up against that I was being carried. I was pretty sure that this guy wasn't a Death Eater, because I was pretty sure that no Death Eater would actually expend priceless energy on making me confortable instead of just levitating me to a dungeon somewhere. This guy smelled familiar, his soft t-shirt and the warm ski of his neck and muscular arms that were currently wrapped around me holding me to him all emitting a scent that was both familiar and comforting, the smell of fresh mint, spice, sweat and sunshine. I just couldn't help myself as I snuggled closer to him, purring softly in contentment.

The guy seemed to realize that I was awake and he ran a hand over my head in a comforting gesture as he climbed through some sort of tunnel or hatch, walking a few more yards before setting me down on a soft couch. I felt the weight of a person drop down beside me, and my head was pulled gently onto a lap. Curious as to where I was but still impaired by the horrific headache, I opened my eyes slowly, ignoring the accompanying rush of white-hot agony as I did so. After everything, hangovers were the least of my worries.

Even in my fuzzy state, I instantly realized from all of the gold and scarlet that I was in the deserted Gryffindor Common Room. As for who had brought me here… I craned my neck back, peering up behind me. I met the smoldering grey eyes of Sirius Black, on whose lap I was obviously resting my head. He sighed with relief and stroked my hair off my sweaty forehead, causing my face to heat up until it must have looked and felt like the surface of the sun. I jerked up instantly into a sitting position, shocking Sirius.

My stomach churned and my head felt like it would explode, but I managed to stumble away from Sirius, who still sat on the couch, alone now, looking shocked and hurt. A shudder ran through my alcohol-weakened body, and I tightened my grip on the back of the armchair to keep my balance. Slowly, the expression on Sirius' face morphed into one of anger, grey eyes blazing as he glared at me furiously. I may or may not have trembled a little more.

"What-what..?," I stuttered weakly, stopping mid-sentence to focus all of my efforts on keeping the vomit out of my mouth. Sirius seemed to notice, and he only got angrier. Blazing eyes fixed on me with burning intensity as he swung himself up off the couch and advanced towards me, knowing that I was in no fit state to run away. He stopped in front of the armchair I was using as a prop for my shaky legs, watching my cling to the back of the armchair like it was a lifeline. His eyes were unreadable as he grasped the arms of the armchair, leaning forward until he was less than ten inches from me. My breathing hitched and the trembling worsened, and I clung to the back of the armchair until I thought my knuckles would burst out of my skin.

When Sirius spoke, it was in a low, deadly undertone. "Remus and I found you in the kitchens, passed out over a bottle of Firewhiskey. You drank yourself into unconsciousness, Liss, and no one knows better than me the reasons for that. I know you were hurt, I know my cousins did it, and I'm not saying that it wasn't awful or terrible for you, because I've been there, and I've been there a lot, and I really doubt that that's all that happened. There's something you're not telling me, Liss. Your friends think they know everything, but they don't, do they? In the last few weeks I've seen you with letters, letters I'm willing to bet my broomstick that you haven't even shown that slimy git, Simmons. Everyone in Gryffindor knows that you have nightmares, you scream like a banshee almost every night, but in the last month it's gotten worse. I've seen you show up to classes with more hangovers than James, Remus, Peter and I combined in the last month. From what I've noticed, the hangovers and nightmares have gotten much worse since I spotted you with that first letter, so I want an honest answer to this question, no more bullshit or lies: who sends those letters?"

My breath caught in my throat, the bile rising as the nausea worsened. He'd seen me. How had he seen me? I'd been oh so careful with those letters, slipping them into the sleeve of my robes at breakfast before my friends noticed I had mail, only reading them when I was sure that I was alone. I was alone a lot these days, actually, hiding out in the library or the Room of Requirement if my friends were in the library doing homework. I hadn't been able to forget what Dumbledore had said about finding the strength to do distance myself from my friends as I'd done with Sirius, and I was starting to realize how right he'd been.

"Well?," Sirius demanded roughly. I swallowed, rooting around deep inside myself or that so-called Gryffindor courage that lately I'd only seemed to be able to find at the bottom of a bottle of Firewhiskey. Finding just a small measure, I fixed my face into an impenetrable, emotionless mask. "Whoever is sending me those letters is none of your business, Sirius Black, just like it was clearly none of my business that you're an Animagus, _Padfoot_," I shot back, positively spitting out his nickname. Sirius looked a little shocked that I knew that he was an Animagus, so James clearly hadn't told him the full truth or anything at all about what had happened that night I'd ran out of our detention and came across James and werewolf-Remus.

"How do you know that?," he hissed venomously, eyes flashing. I knew that I should feel afraid, but frankly my rather limited reserve of Gryffindor courage had kicked in and I'd realized that if I was to be afraid of anyone, it should be Sirius' cousins, not Sirius himself. _Think of him as an over-sized, irritable puppy._

"The night of our detention, I decided to take a stroll, things happened, and James told me. Although really, Sirius, I've got bigger and better thins to spend my time thinking about than the fact that you run on four legs every now and then. Now piss off and leave me alone!"

I could tell that Sirius had no intention of letting it go, but at that very moment a silvery, transparent phoenix materialized beside me. Sirius and I stared at the phoenix in puzzlement. Then it opened it's mouth and began to speak in Dumbledore's familiar calm voice. _"Lissa Crawford, please make your way to my office as soon as possible. Mr Bartemius Crouch is with me and requests a meeting with you immediately. On a side note, I do enjoy Lemon Drops."_

Then the phoenix was gone, leaving a shocked Sirius and I in its wake. A few seconds later I snapped out of my daze and grasped my wand, muttering a hasty "_Ennervate" _under my breath. The nausea and throbbing headache lessened a little, and I guessed that I had regained enough strength in my limbs to walk if I was careful.

"Goodnight, Sirius," I murmured softly, giving him a small smile as I made my way over to the portrait hole. _Let me go. _No such luck, of course, but we were talking about Sirius Black here. I wasn't even halfway to the portrait hole when I felt a hand close firmly around my forearm. "You can't expect me to just let you leave like that!," Sirius exclaimed, pulling me around to face him. I sighed heavily. "I'm really sorry, Sirius, but this is important. Like I said, I'm really sorry."

He looked a little confused as well as angry. "Sorry about what?," he demanded hotly. "_This_," I whispered, grasping my wand under my sleeve with my free hand and casting a non-verbal Full Body Bind Curse. Choking back the guilt, I levitated Sirius' prone form onto a couch, avoiding his accusing eyes, the only part of his body he could still move. "Sorry," I whispered once more, slipping out of the portrait hole.

As I hurried through the corridors, I wondered what Barty Crouch could possibly want with me at the moment. I could do nothing about my brother, and I knew that none of my friends had told anyone else about my secrets, so what else could it be? Maybe he'd decided to send me to Azkaban anyway and eliminate the risk of the news getting out at all, since my brother was hardly in a position to do anything about it.

I swallowed my fears as I arrived in front of the twin gargoyles that guarded Dumbledore's office. _Anytime now, Gryffindor courage. I need you more than ever right now. _"Lemon Drops," I murmured to the gargoyles, watching them slide away, revealing the moving staircase. Trying and failing to convince myself that I had nothing to worry about, I took the first step. Hopefully it would not be one of my last as a free woman, because I didn't think they had coffee or chocolate in Azkaban.

**So, enjoy the chapter? Good? Bad? Whatever you think, I'd love if I had reviews to read, because reviews make a happy author, and a happy author means a faster update! ;) Thanks for reading **


	15. Barty Crouch

**Hello! I don't think I've ever managed to type out a chapter so fast! This one's kind of mushy though- just a warning! Thanks so much to the reviewers for the last chapter: **Vivi Bright**, **Nonna Nitto**, **Lalina92 **and the Guest reviewer. Remember- reviews make me write like a million times faster! ;) Enjoy the chapter!**

**Lissa's POV**

I knocked on the heavy wooden door of Dumbledore's office, trying to tame the Bludgers hurtling around my stomach with the sheer force of my will. It did not work, and the nausea and headache resulting from my drinking binge returned with a vengeance. Hoping that I had a few seconds, I redid my messy braid and straightened my clothes, tying my school robes over a long-sleeved t-shirt and loose jeans that I willed to stretch and cover the scruffy pair of blue cloth sneakers with formerly-white toe-caps and soles I wore on my feet, riddled with small holes and mud stains. There wasn't much I could do about the pallor of my skin and the heavy bags that hung under my eyes, but it wasn't too bad really. At least I didn't look like I belonged in Azkaban already. Going on what Peeves, that ever-charming old poltergeist, had yelled after me as I'd passed through the fourth floor corridor, I actually looked dead.

"Enter," Dumbledore's voice declared from inside his office. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and opened the door. Dumbledore was standing behind his desk, normally sparkling and cheerful blue eyes dull and business-like. Bartemius Crouch, esteemed (by dickheads) Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, stood next to the desk so stiffly that Emmeline would have said he 'looked like he'd a pike shoved up his arse'. His ruler-straight toothbrush moustache was twitching slightly with his upper lip in frustration, his pale, exhausted face almost the same color as his hair. From behind the desk, a strategic position, I realized, Dumbledore waved me towards a chair in front of the desk. "Welcome, Ms Crawford. I'm very glad you were able to make it so quickly, taking the extremely late hour into consideration. Please, sit down."

I didn't miss the way the corners of his mouth twitched into the beginnings of a smile as he caught sight of my wrinkled day clothing that I had clearly not exchanged for pyjamas at any point that night, the slight grimace I couldn't help but let slip when I moved too suddenly and my headache flared up viciously, and the slightly green tinge to my face as I battled waves of nausea. Barty Crouch was staring hard at me but not seeming to notice any of these things, just seeing me, more than likely, as an irritating inconvenience instead of a real person stuck in a relentless storm of personal crisis. Douchebag.

"Now, Ms Crawford, I'm sure you're wondering why you've been asked to join us in my office, and that is where Mr Crouch comes in," Dumbledore explained. I noticed that he was careful not to call me Lissa and thus risk Crouch realizing that we had already discussed secrets I'd been threatened to never reveal under pain of life-imprisonment. "Mr Crouch?," Dumbledore prompted the mustachioed man.

Barty Crouch straightened up even more, if it were even physically possible, and fixed me with what he clearly intended to be an intimidating stare. _If you think your glare is impressive, Crouch, then you should see Sirius Black's. _He then cleared his throat and began with whatever it was he had to say. _Please not a life sentence, please not a life sentence, please not a life sentence…_

"Well, Ms Crawford, just to let you know before we begin, I've already filled in your Headmaster as to the necessary details. Anyway, we at the Ministry have decided on a solution as to how to let the public know of your parent's deaths without them losing faith in our Auror Department. Obviously, anything discussed here is completely confidential, and failure to comply with the required level of confidentiality may possibly result in a stint in Azkaban," Crouch said in his steely voice, obviously trying to make me squirm with his threats of Azkaban. Dumbledore remained impassive and I tried my level best to copy him, staring right back at Crouch, managing to hide the fact that my blood was boiling due to his callous attitude towards my parents' deaths.

Crouch continued on. "The plan goes as follows: we have the Prophet release an article detailing the tragic deaths of your parents at the hands of Dragon Pox diagnosed too late for treatment. You would be required to submit a few quotes on the tragedy, of course, to make it more realistic. There does remain, however, the problem of your brother Daniel James, your cousin Jasper, and your brother's friend, Harold Simmons."

My blood boiled at his implication that DJ was nothing more than an obstacle, the only major hurdle standing in the way of picture perfect publicity generated by my parents' deaths. How dare he?!

"This is why I have taken the liberty of asking Professor Dumbledore to also summon Wade Simmons, Harold's younger brother. He should be along any minute now. The delay is expected of course, what with it being several hours after curfew. I must say, Ms Crawford, that it is a sign of real enthusiasm that you managed to get here, fully dressed, so quickly," Crouch drawled with heavy sarcasm. I had to resist the urge to snarl at him, trying to discreetly cover the Firewhiskey stain on my jeans with my robes.

Crouch spent the next few minutes asking me mindless questions about my schoolwork, oblivious or uncaring to the fact that I just stared mutely at the wall behind Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore himself had vanished about ten minutes ago at Crouch's subtle behest, silently communicating to me as he left not to loose my temper. Gouging out the eyes of one of the most popular Ministry Department Heads was apparently no way to avoid Azkaban _or_ get ahead in life.

Finally Wade arrived, dressed clumsily in too-short blue tartan pajama bottoms, matching slippers and a wrinkled Weird Sisters t-shirt, straw-blond hair sticking up all over the place like he'd been hit with a Shocking Jinx. I'd probably have laughed at his appearance if we hadn't both been called to this office by Barty Crouch to discuss what exactly we knew about our fugitive criminal relatives.

When Wade settled down in his chair beside mine and Crouch had settled in Dumbledore's chair like he had a right to sit there, the process began.

"As I'm sure both of you are aware, Wade and Melissa," Crouch began with an annoyingly superior expression, "Jasper and Daniel James Crawford and Harold Simmons are in the midst of an illegal rampage and vendetta against the Death Eaters. The reason for this rampage is classified, known only to those directly involved- Melissa here, her brother and cousin, Mr and Mrs McKinnon, and various other important Ministry officials. I have been authorized by Minister Bagnold to fill you in on the details, Mr Simmons, once you understand that anything I say to you and Ms Crawford on this is strictly confidential, and any breach of this confidentiality will be considered a breach of the Ministry Confidentiality Law."

Wade nodded without missing a beat or an ounce of hesitation. He already knew everything of course, but it wouldn't exactly pay to tell Crouch that. "Of course, Mr Crouch. I'm well aware of Ministry Law, my father's the Head of the Department of International Magical Law." Crouch looked suitably impressed but still stern. "Well then, Mr Simmons, give my regards to your father. I'm sure he does an excellent job. Now, back to the matter at hand.

"On Christmas Eve there was an attack by Death Eaters on the Crawford home. Daniel and Melissa Crawford were both killed, but their children Daniel James and Melissa here survived. Both gave informal statements to Ministry officials that they had been tortured brutally and that Daniel James' leg was shattered by a Dark curse cast by Bellatrix Lestrange. As a matter of fact, since Daniel James discharged himself early, his leg is still not fully healed. As far as we know, the Death Eaters involved included Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy. It is currently unconfirmed whether or not Dolohov, Rosier, McNair and Yaxley were also involved, but it is likely."

Crouch gave Wade a minute to absorb the information, not that he needed to. I willed away my anger at Crouch's clinical explanation of my parents' deaths and mine and my brother's torture. The thought of DJ battling Death Eaters with only two guys for back-up on a barely healed leg I'd heard shatter into a million microscopic splinters of bone with my own ears almost made me hyperventilate. Wade nodded at Crouch, making a big show of shock and horror with his expression, reaching across to squeeze my hand in sympathy, and gasping very convincingly.

Crouch continued on with whatever it was he'd had to say. "It is my understanding that all three fugitives were enrolled in the Auror Training Program. Since this is a three-year program, Daniel James Crawford and Simmons would have been qualified Aurors by this July, as they entered the program when they graduated from Hogwarts at age eighteen. Jasper Crawford was only one year into the program and still in the overseas experience training part of the program when he suddenly upped and left the training compound in France in the dead of night and returned to Britain, where he obviously met up with Simmons and Crawford.

"The first duel with the Death Eaters took place about two months ago, where your brother, Ms Crawford, killed Atticus Carrow with an Unforgiveable Curse. Since then the three fugitives have taken part in several duels, often actively seeking them out, and have killed several more Death Eaters with Unforgiveable Curses. Use of an Unforgiveable Curse is punishable by life imprisonment in Azkaban, and if Crawford, Crawford and Simmons are apprehended by Ministry forces, they may be prosecuted for this reason.

"I am here tonight, Mr Simmons and Ms Crawford, to tell you that what your relatives are doing is serious, not to mention illegal. If either of you are seen to have any contact with them that you do not immediately report to Ministry officials you may be arrested as accomplices. If you have nay relevant information that you refuse to disclose to Ministry officials you may be arrested as accomplices also. Anything that either of you two conceal from us can be seen as assisting murderers, resulting in a long spell in Azkaban, possibly even a life sentence."

I was incensed that Crouch would suggest that taking out Death Eaters, murderers, was illegal, and that he would dare threaten Wade and I so blatantly. Over my dead body would he carry out his threat of hauling my brother, cousin and Wade's brother into Azkaban for life, although according to Bellatrix Lestrange, that could be arranged, as she was apparently very eager to dance over my dead body, according to one of her many letters to me. Crouch leaned forward in his chair, fixing us both with what looked to be intended as an intimidating stare. "So, Mr Crawford, Mr Simmons," Crouch said threateningly, "Do either of you have anything you would like to share?"

§ § § §

"I honestly can't believe that that asshole Crouch thought we'd rat on our family!," Wade raged once we were in the safety of the corridor. I nodded in agreement. Needless to say, we had presented a united front in telling Crouch politely that he could go fuck himself. Well, maybe not in those exact words, but it all came to the same thing- he was getting nothing out of us. Actually, the meeting had only made me certain that DJ, Jasper and Harry were doing the right thing, and from now on I was determined to support them one hundred percent in any way possible, even if that course of action could inevitably result in either the Death Eaters or the Auror Department chasing after me with intent to kill and/or maim horribly.

I was done with sobbing into my pillow at night and trembling every time I glimpsed a Slytherin over the age of twelve. From now on I would do my best to recover at least some of my old self, even if that did mean no Sirius and distancing myself from Emm, Alice, Lily, Mary, Marley, Fabian and Gideon, and the assorted boyfriends: Benjy Fenwick, Ian Harrington and Frank Longbottom. I was pretty sure that what with the recent activities of his brother, I couldn't put Wade in more danger if I married him and bore his children beneath a banner that screamed '_Fuck you Voldy'_. At least I'd have one friend I could hold onto without feeling like I was leading him to his funeral, and one who understood exactly what I was going through. I was going to recover and spend every free moment from now on in the library researching defense and Dark magic so that when summer came round and Bellatrix Lestrange came after me, I would be ready to die fighting. It was a pity none of my friends (save Wade, as previously stated) or Sirius would be there with me by then, but at least they'd still be alive to remember me. _Yes, Liss, that's not morbid at all._

**Sirius' POV**

She Body-Bounded me, the bitch. Remind me again, why did I love her? Why would Dumbledore be asking her to come to his office and meet with Barty Crouch? Maybe something to do with her having been tortured? The questions were driving me mad, the not-knowing, and I knew that if I didn't get my answers soon I'd blow my metaphorical top and a few other things as well (Slytherin Common Room, Slytherin table in Great Hall, Filch's office, etc.). I leapt up off the couch the instant the curse wore off and climbed out of the portrait hole, hoping that Moony, Prongs and Wormy wouldn't freak out when I didn't show up in the dormitory. In the past it would mean that I was out shagging some girl in a broom cupboard, but ever since about October I'd been staying away from broom cupboards and had still not recovered sufficiently to warrant a return to them, so they'd probably think that I was off setting up a prank. Either way, whatever my mates would think in my absence, I had to find Lissa and ask her what in the name of Merlin was going on.

I sprinted silently through the corridors, cursing the fact that I hadn't thought to bring the Marauders' Map or borrow James' Invisibility Cloak. I'd cast a Disillusionment Charm, but the last time I'd tried that I'd set Peter's eyebrows on fire and they still hadn't grown back properly. Not even Madam Pomfrey's amazing Hair-Gro Wonder Potion had worked, and that stuff had fixed the horrendous hairstyle Lissa had master-minded.

I made my way to the corridor that Dumbledore's office was in, only to find it empty. Cursing under my breath, I turned tail and began to sweep the surrounding corridors and staircases. Just when I was about to summon the Map and fuck the possible consequences, I heard voices around the corner, coming towards me. Diving behind a suit of armor, I peeked covertly through the chinks in the armor to see who the owners of the voices were. As I watched, Lissa and Wade Slimeball walked into view, murmuring to each other quietly. I was about to explode with anger when I registered what Simmons was wearing: blue tartan pajama bottoms and a huge Weird Sisters t-shirt.

I desperately strained my ears, trying to hear what they were saying. In a stroke of luck that could only be described as from the Hand of God Himself, Lissa and Wade suddenly decided to stop and talk while leaning against the wall almost directly opposite from where I was hiding. If I listened hard enough I could hear some of what they were whispering to each other.

"…Something Crouch isn't telling us," Simmons whispered to Lissa, draping an arm over her shoulder. I wanted desperately to rip his arm off. Yeah right did that treacherous, slimy git not want Lissa. "Yeah…something else…something happen to one of them?," she replied in a small but strong voice that made me want to wrap her in my arms and never let go. "No… Crouch would have been grinning fit to burst…something else?" _What the hell were they going on about? Crouch?_

"…Not good for the Ministry…good for Harry, DJ and Jasper…must have some sort of advantage…I'll try and write…" I leaned forwards even more, standing on the toes of one foot to get as close to the sound of Lissa and Simmons' voices without being seen. Just as Lissa was about to speak again, my foot slipped and I fell against the suit of armor, sending it crashing to the floor with me on top of it. Lissa jumped a foot into the air, and even Simmons started a little.

They were beside me as soon as I was on my feet, glaring angrily. Simmons looked like he wanted to put his fist through my teeth (understandable, since I'd spent the last three months hexing the shit out of him), but I just gave him what most girls called my 'sexy smirk' and what Moony, Prongs and Wormy called my 'cocky-as-fuck smirk'. Whatever you wanted to call it, it seemed to make Simmons want to punch me even more. _Go on, you sonofabitch. Show Liss what you're really like. _Simmons looked like he was about: he raised his fist to drive it into my face. Lissa went pale, whether from anger or fear I couldn't tell, and reached out and grabbed his fist mid-air with the lightning reflexes of a Seeker.

She turned away from me, placing her hands on Simmons' shoulders in a way that made me want to rip him into a million little pieces, just so that she'd never be able to touch him again. I was new to jealousy because I'd never cared about a girl the way I cared about Lissa, I loved her more than my own family, for Merlin's sake! "Calm down, Wade, I'll deal with Black," she murmured softly to him, sending a million savage splinters through my already battered heart. Lissa never called me Black, not even in first year. It had always been Sirius, in that sweet chirpy voice of hers that made my name her own. It didn't matter that she may have only said it to placate Simmons, it hurt more than nearly anything I'd ever experienced in my whole life. My mother and father had tortured and disowned me, my cousins had rejected me at every turn, but they say that you can only be hurt by the people you care about. I cared about Lissa nearly more than anything else in my entire world, but she clearly didn't feel the same.

Simmons nodded, breathing deeply. Then, eyes fixed on me with a vindictive glare, he pulled her into a quick hug and kissed her lightly on the cheek. I started to tremble, my entire body shaking as my Animagus side threatened to take over, my body begging my brain to let my animalistic instincts take over and rip Simmons limb from limb. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to slaughter him, and I think Simmons must have seen this in my eyes, because with one last small smile to Lissa he left for the Ravenclaw Common Room.

I was still shaking when Lissa turned to me with an impassive expression- not the one you wore when you didn't care, but the one you wore when you were trying to make yourself believe that you didn't. Her beautiful green eyes churned with unrecognizable emotions, making me dizzy and distracting me from my anger.

"Sirius," she said softly, calling me by my first name, always made to sound sweeter by the sound of her voice. She made me into a bloody sap, but she was so bloody amazing that I couldn't find it in me to care. "Sirius," she said again, "I'm sorry I cursed you. It was an emergency, and since most of wizarding Britain knows, I'll assume that it can't hurt to tell you what that meeting was about: my brother, Wade's brother, and my cousin. Crouch doesn't like it, he wanted Wade and I to give him something to help find them. That's really all I can tell you, Sirius, but I can only hope it'll be enough," she murmured, looking at my shoes with an unreadable expression. My breath caught in my throat, I'd never in a million years thought that she'd actually tell me something clearly regarded as a secret. While it wasn't the secret I'd asked her for, it was still something, something she felt she could tell me. For whatever reason, Lissa was clinging to her other secrets, and whatever the reason for that was, I knew I still ha dot know what they were if they were hurting her so much. But for now, she'd told me something that no one else but Simmons and Crouch knew, and that meant that she had to trust me some little bit.

All of my thoughts short-circuited and fizzled out as Lissa stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight and resting her head over my heart for the briefest second as though she was listening to make sure beyond a shadow of doubt that it was still beating. Then she stood on tip-toe until her lips were brushing my ear, making me shiver, and whispered gently, "It's not that I don't want to, Sirius, it's that I can't." Then she was gone, running down the corridor, leaving me recovering from my state of shock, arms coming up to embrace a girl who was no longer there.

"_It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't."_

**Lissa's POV**

I didn't run away from Sirius because I was afraid he'd see me cry, because I'd cried in front of him before, and after everything else I'd been through not letting a boy see me cry seemed relatively redundant. I ran away because as I'd lain my head on Sirius' chest to feel his heart beat, I'd thought I'd been listening to my own- beating fast and hard, as though it needed to work overtime to process he rush of emotion accompanying my embrace. I loved him, I loved Sirius Black, but it was too late for that now, and if I truly loved him I'd have to let him go.

'_It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't.' _My words to Sirius meant so many things- I wanted to love him but I couldn't let myself, I wanted to tell him everything but that would only end in disaster. I wanted to stay with him in that corridor in his arms all night, but then he would have heard the sound of my heart breaking.

So instead I'd sprinted through the corridors, not even aware of where as I was going and barely able to see through the river of tears that blurred my eyes. I ran until I couldn't breathe any longer, until I had to stop and catch my breath against a wall. It was only then that I realized where I was: the seventh floor corridor, opposite the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy and his tut-wearing trolls. Inspiration hit me, and I staggered to my feet to stumble three times past the stretch of wall I'd been leaning against.

I'd first stumbled upon the Room of Requirement in second year, when I'd been returning from the kitchens and had gotten lost, running into Filch. During the ensuing chase I'd found refuge in a broom cupboard that as far as I knew had never existed before. It had saved me from many other dangerous situations before I realized what I had discovered: a semi-sentient room that would provide whatever the user asked for, once they used the correct wording. I'd used the Room many times since, but I'd never before need it quite as much as I did now.

_I need a place to cry, I need a place to cry, I need a place to cry. _Three times I stumbled back and forth in front of the stretch of wall, and when I looked up after my third turn there was a small wooden door built into the stonewall. I staggered over to it, opened it and went inside. I was standing in what looked to be a slightly smaller version of my dormitory, the differences being that this room contained only one bed, and there was no way any of my friends, girl or not, would be able to get into this room unless I let them.

Shrugging out of my clothes and into the soft pair of pajamas the Room provided, I slipped under the covers of the comfortable four-poster bed and proceeded to cry my eyes out while pummeling my pillows and imagining them to be the faces of Barty Crouch, Bellatrix Lestrange and every other damn fucking Death Eater on the planet. If I'd had Firewhiskey, the picture of insanity would have been complete.

I drifted off to sleep in the Room of Requirement with tears still leaking out from under my closed eyelids, dreaming off the perfect Christmas Eve I'd been enjoying with my family before the Death Eaters had arrived and ruined my life forever. In my dream, we were all still talking and laughing about the prank DJ and Jonathon McKinnon had played on Mad-Eye Moody, and rolling my eyes at my dad as he teased me good-naturedly about my boyfriend, Sirius. In my dream, everything was picture-perfect, as if the universe was trying to break it to me gently that it could never be so again.

**So… Like it? Hate it? As always, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have on the story, so reviews are much appreciated! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! **


	16. The Discovery and Chase

**Hello! This chapter is the aftermath of Lissa and Sirius' encounter, probably not how most of you expected it though! ;) Enjoy & please review if you can **

**Wade's POV**

I left Transfiguration the instant the bell rang, ignoring the incredulous stares from the Slytherins at my 'un-Ravenclaw-like behavior'. I met Emmeline Vance and Ian Harrington outside the door of my classroom, both red-faced and panting having ran from their classes. "Have you found her yet?," I asked desperately, voice cracking slightly. Ian clapped me on the shoulder and Emmeline gave me a sympathetic look. They knew how close I was with Lissa.

Lissa had been missing for the past week. I hadn't seen her since I'd left her with an angry Black at her behest, although we'd ruled Black out without a shadow of doubt. If he had known anything, I'm sure that if he hadn't told Dumbledore when we'd all been questioned, he'd surely have caved when Lissa's dorm mates and the Prewett twins waxed every last trace of body hair without magic. S much as I hated to admit it, Black was innocent of any involvement he was aware of, but that didn't mean he could have upset Lissa so badly that she had been too upset to fight off another attacker.

"No, Simmons, sorry. McKinnon and Fenwick took their shift but didn't find anything. We were just dropping by to tell you that we start our shift now," Harrington explained. I dropped my head in disappointment. "Thanks for telling me," I muttered to my shoes, trying to hold myself together. I'd known Lissa since the age of six, I could _not_ live without her.

I felt a light touch on my shoulder and I snapped my head back up. _Liss? _But no, it was just Vance, patting my shoulder gently and giving me a small smile. "I'm sure she'll turn up eventually, Simmy," she murmured, using the nickname she, McKinnon and Prewett had come up with. Normally I would have snapped at her, I hated that nickname, but today I was just too bummed. "Thanks Vance, Harrington. Good luck," I said sincerely. Harrington and Vance each gave me one last pat on the shoulder as they filed past me.

Ever since Lissa had gone missing and Dumbledore and the teachers had been unable to locate her in the preliminary search of the Castle and grounds, Lissa's dorm-mates, the associated boyfriends and the Prewett twins had organized a search rota. Each pair would spend two hours searching the Castle and grounds thoroughly before handing off duty to the next pair. There were five pairs: Emmeline Vance and Ian Harrington, Marlene McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick, Alice Prewett and Frank Longbottom, Lily Evans and Mary McDonald, and Fabian and Gideon Prewett. I slipped into rotation whenever I could, but it was generally agreed that it would be noticed if a Ravenclaw skipped that many classes I argued that it would be equally as noticeable that Evans and MacDonald were skipping, but I'd been voted down.

I adjusted the strap of my satchel on my shoulder and headed off to my next class: Divination. Everyone had been surprised when I'd chosen Divination as an elective, since the subject wasn't generally regarded by Ravenclaws as academically grounded enough for consideration. Harry had taken it though, and told me that it could be a right laugh but also interesting at times. Part of me had just longed for a subject where I was not required to submit the usual homework load or study too hard for the exams, but I really did find Divination interesting enough. That may have had something to do with the fact that Lissa was in the class though, and Lissa could make anything interesting.

The unfortunate thing about Divination was that Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Since I knew for a fact that the day any of the three put any form of effort into their schoolwork (not counting Lupin, he could be a Ravenclaw if he wanted to) would be the day McGonagall gave homework off, I had a distinct hunch that Black at least had taken into consideration that Lissa took Divination too, and that his other reason for taking the subject was the same as Lissa's: it was what they referred to as a 'doss class'.

Sirius Black's recent attendance in the classes I shared with him had been sporadic at best, even worse than usual, and that was saying something. He also looked even worse than me and the rest of Lissa's friends: dark circles under his eyes, marked lack of the usual self-assured smirk, disheveled robes and in several cases, not even bothering with robes and just going to class in his Muggle clothing. There were less explosions and pranks in classes with the Marauders, which were usually more of a battleground experience that a learning one. Even when his friends did manage to set Johnson's fearsome mastiff on fire that burned bright pink, Sirius didn't even crack a smile. Neither, it must be said, did Professor Johnson when he had to catch his beloved Cuddles and extinguish the flames that turned out not to be real flames at all but a harmless charm that imitated fire. Furious and embarrassed, Johnson had given all of the Marauders detention for a week, even though Sirius clearly wasn't in a fit state to have done anything. He hadn't said a word, although I'm still not sure if that was just because he was so used to having detention he showed up outside teachers' offices every night like clockwork anyway, or because he really didn't care. Black's current behavior reminded me of how Lissa had been lately, and frankly that thought scared me. Could Hogwarts really deal with two melancholic students with a penchant for self-destruction?

Potter was going spare, between his best mate's self-destructive behavior and the abysmal state his beloved Quidditch team had been left in. According to Mary MacDonald who often watched the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice to perv on the Prewett twins, Black was so bummed that he was as likely to hit his own head as a Bludger, and Potter was frantic about the amount of training sessions his Seeker had missed (I'm like 50% sure he was worried about the fact that _she was missing and could be in danger_ as well, but you just never knew with Potter and Quidditch). Potter had gotten his team and any friends they could gather up searching for Lissa as well, under the explanation that it wouldn't ba good for any Gryffindor if Slytherin wound up winning the House Cup. Bell and Christoph had joined the search (Black and the Prewett twins were already well into it) a few days later, dragging along half of third and seventh year with them. And still we had not found Lissa.

**James Potter's POV**

My Seeker was missing. My Keeper was two steps short of winding up in Mungo's Mental Ward. My two Beaters barely turned up to practice anymore, because they were so busy searching for my elusive Seeker. Recently, Bell and Christoph had joined the search, making their attendance every bit as sporadic. I cared about Crawford's wellbeing rather more than the next person for Sirius' sake, but my team was going to hell. I didn't blame her though, not matter what anyone says I do not value Quidditch above people's lives. I just really wanted her to come back safely from wherever she was, so that Sirius would stop with the depressive behavior and my team could stand a fighting chance in the finals. You couldn't spend nearly six years with someone and not care, as well.

So these were my reasons for my current occupation: prowling the corridors at approximately two in the morning with Padfoot following behind me droopily. Wormy and Moony were searching the dungeons while Pads and I took the upper floors, because if we didn't find Lissa soon Padfoot would slip into a deep pit of mad melancholy from which there was no escape, especially if you were facing another year in a dormitory with him, or in my case, as house. No, the only option was to fix Padfoot, and or that we had to find Lissa.

From the conversation we'd 'overheard', Lissa's friends and associated boyfriends had a meticulously ordered search timetable in which I suspected the hand of my dearest Evans. According to the copy we'd penned down, Marlene McKinnon and her boyfriend Benjy Fenwick were on duty tonight. They had all rejected our help with the search rather rudely, if I may say too, so we were doing our best to avoid letting them know that we were mounting our own search efforts. Fenwick was a seventh year and thus privy to the knowledge of Johnson's advanced Dark Magic And How To Counter It NEWTs course, so Moony, Wormy and I were all understandably reluctant to stumble across him (Sirius was so depressed he wouldn't have minded coming face-to-face with a Hungarian Horntail).

"C'mon, Pads. If you're gonna walk that slow we've no chance of finding her," I grumbled, grabbing Padfoot by the front of his wrinkled shirt and dragging him along. Reluctantly, he started to speed up. It wasn't that Padfoot didn't want to find Crawford, it was that after a week of literally no sleep or more than a few bites of food he simply lacked the energy.

"Guess I'll just have to drag you, eh Pads?" We wandered around for a while longer, pushing back tapestries and tapping flagstones. Pete and Remus had the Map, but there was always the possibility that Lissa had stumbled into a passage we hadn't found and gotten stuck. Granted, it was a slim possibility, but one that required investigation none the less. Dumbledore had announced to the school at breakfast this morning that if Lissa didn't turn up in the grounds within another few days, he would be forced to alert the Ministry. We had taken our lead from Lissa's frantic friends and doubled our efforts to find Crawford, but we were running out of time.

Sirius and I were double-checking the seventh floor broom cupboards for secret passageways (although he insisted that if there was one there, he'd know, since broom cupboards had been his specialty for a long time), when a certain poltergeist showed up in the corridor, brandishing a clear plastic bag of brightly colored water balloons and what looked suspiciously like Moony's left shoe.

I sighed heavily, nudging Sirius in the ribs to alert him of the possible danger of water balloons. "What do you want now, Peeves?" Peeves cackled manically, swinging Remus' shoe around in the air by the shoelaces. "C'mon, Peeves," Sirius said tiredly, rubbing a hand over his face, "Leave us alone, and we'll get you some of those Dungbombs you like next time we're in Hogsmeade, yeah?" Peeves tilted his head for a moment, smirking thoughtfully. Then he snapped it back up with an evil smirk.

"Don't think so, little Blacky!," Peeves sang gleefully, "Peevsies' got something you want, and it'll take more than Dungbombs!" Sirius and I sighed in unison. Two sets of running feet could be heard coming from the other end of the corridor, an uneven pattern of footsteps that indicated one person was running with only one shoe. I looked back at Peeves with an exasperated expression. "Remus has other shoes, Peeves," I pointed out, nodding at the sneaker the poltergeist was currently swinging around by the shoelaces like a Muggle cowboy's lasso.

Peeves hook his head, grinning playfully. "Peevsies knows, Peevsies' got six others of Loony Lupin's shoes! Blacky wants the girl though, doesn't he Potty. _Blacky wants Lissy, but she don't want him! Blacky wants Lissy, but she don't want him!_," Peeves taunted, sneering gleefully at Padfoot, who was physically shaking with fury. Moony and Wormy appeared at the other end of the corridor, Moony running awkwardly due to the absence of a his on his left foot.I didn't quite get how, but Peeves always managed to nick one of Moony's shoes whenever we came across him in a deserted corridor, usually late at night. Needless to say, Moony was running out of shoes.

"_Blacky wants Lissy, but she don't want him!_," Peeves sang at the top of his lungs, probably alerting Filch and every Prefect and teacher within a twenty mile radius. Padfoot lost the last semblance of control he possessed and lunged forward for Peeves, coming up clutching only thin air. Peeves cackled some more at Padfoot as my best mate realized that you couldn't punch a ghost, a fact that had escaped Sirius in his raging state. "Calm down, Pads," Pete murmured as he helped me try and restrain Sirius, sneaking glances at Peeves as discreetly as Wormy could. Peeves cackled on and steam was practically coming out of Sirius ears.

All of a sudden Pete's head snapped round to Remus. "GO MOONY, GO!," he yelled (Prefects were probably en route by then anyway). Remus lurched into action, not one for grace, throwing himself at Peeves as he aimed for his shoe. With a great manic cackle Peeves swung the shoe back by the shoelaces, bringing it forwards to smash into Moony's eye and send him skidding five feet down the corridor with an agonized yelp. Padfoot, Wormy and I all winced sympathetically, Remus' misfortune momentarily distracting Sirius from his murderous rage towards someone who was already dead. "Lupin, Lupin, Loony Loony Lupin!," Peeves crowed, swinging the shoe around to ad insult to injury. On the ground a few feet away, Remus pushed himself up into a sitting position with a groan to scowl at Peeves, raising his middle finger at the mischievous poltergeist.

It was only then that I remembered what Peeves had been saying before he started to rile Sirius up. "Peeves, what was that you were saying about the girl?," I asked carefully, keeping an eye on the swinging shoe in his hand. Peeves sobered up a little, giving me hope. Peeves was on quite good terms with Lissa Crawford, so he wouldn't be happy about her misfortune.

"What do you know, Peeves?," I demanded. Peeves sighed. "Peevsies saw Lissy running down this way last week at night, out of bed after curfew again, the naughty little student. She was crying and she ran into the Come-and-Go Room!," Peeves exclaimed emphatically. He waved his hand at the stretch of wall opposite a large tapestry further down the corridor with a dramatic flourish.

Sirius stopped shaking and took of down the corridor without another word with restored stamina. Peeves looked rather put out. "Not even a thank you for poor Peevsie," he moaned dramatically. Remus scowled at the poltergeist darkly, slowly extending his middle finger once more and shaking it behind Peeves' back. Peter burst out laughing, sobering quickly when the sound of Filch's distinctive thudding walk drifted up to us from the stairs at the far end of the corridor.

"Thanks, Peeves. Here ya go," I muttered, digging a slightly battered Dungbomb out of my pocket and tossing it to the poltergeist. Then Remus, Pete and I were dashing down the corridor madly, almost crashing into Sirius as he paced in front of the stretch of wall. "C'mon, Pads, hurry up! Filch'll be here any minute, and Lily seems to hate me more and more every time I get detention!," I moaned desperately.

Finally Sirius turned on his heel for the third time and a smallish wooden door appeared, built seamlessly into the stonewall like it had always been there. I dove towards it, shaking the handle wildly. I looked over my shoulder at the guys, each one panicked. "It's locked," I hissed. Padfoot huffed and shoved me out of the way roughly. He knelt down and dug his multi-purpose penknife out of his pocket, shoving it into the gap between the door and frame and wiggling it around frantically as Filch's footsteps came ever closer. He'd be able to see us soon, and then we'd really be for it.

"Got it," Sirius murmured as the lock clicked. Waving a hand at us to move, he pushed open the door and bolted inside, followed in quick succession by me, Pete and Remus, who slammed the door behind us and relocked it with the key conveniently hanging on an eye-level hook beside the doorframe. We all fell back against the door, panting like mad, all except for Sirius that was, who was already halfway across the room. We seemed to be in a student dormitory, but I knew that wasn't possible. For one thing, there was only one bed. And in that bed, huddled beneath the covers like a long-term invalid…

"_Lissa!_," Sirius cried, racing over to the bed and pulling the trembling, crying girl from beneath the blankets to hold her close to his chest. It didn't take long for her to start struggling, kicking, thrashing and punching until even Sirius found it impossible to hold on. Lissa tumbled out of his arms and onto the floor, a wraith with messy bed-head and skewed pink tartan pajamas, and promptly began to scream at Sirius, who wasted no time in screaming back.

"YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER _ARSEHOLE! _IS IT SO WRONG TO WANT SOME BLOODY TIME ALONE?!," Lissa yelled at the top of her lungs. Beside me, Remus winced, and Pete covered his ears and whimpered in terror.

"_I'M_ AN ARSEHOLE?," Sirius bellowed back. _Merlin, I hope this room is soundproof. _"LISS, YOU DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS WITHOUT A WORD TO ANYONE, AND _I'M_ THE ARSEHOLE?! DUMBLEDORE NEARLY CONTACTED THE MINISTRY, AND EVERYONE'S BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU FOR _DAYS! _FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, LISSA, WE THOUGHT YOU WERE _DEAD!_"

"IN A MINUTE, SIRIUS BLACK, YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU WERE DEAD! YOU TOTAL BERK, ARROGANT DICKHEAD-"

I slipped down to whisper directly into Remus' ear. "Mate, I think we should make a run for it. They're only gonna get worse." Remus nodded eagerly, tugging on Pete's sleeve. We all moved back along the wall towards the door, praying that neither Lissa nor Sirius would notice us and turn their powerful voices and tempers on us. Trying in vain to cover my ears with one hand, I grasped the door handle, and turned it. _Dang it, it's locked, remember, dingus?_

"Moony, Wormtail, key?," I hissed urgently, holding my hand out for it. A second later it was dropped into my hand. I shoved it into the lock and turned it, wrenching the door open and slipping out without even bothering to look out for Filch. Honestly, at the moment I'd take Filch over a screaming Sirius and Lissa. Moony and Wormy slipped out after me, Wormy shoving the door shut so quickly he almost caught the edge of his robes in it. He quickly dislodged himself and fell back against the door, breathing hard.

I looked over at Moony, who was slumped on the floor against the wall, gasping, and at Wormy, bent double with his hands on his knees as he panted desperately. They both gathered the strength to look me in the eye. "Blimey," Pete gasped. Moony and I nodded. "Bloody fucking blimey is right, Wormy," I muttered. "They're turning into Prongs and Evans," Moony put in with a smirk. I reached across Pete to smack him on the arm. "Can it, Moons."

Well all fell back against the wall, laughing raucously at everything and at nothing at all. I felt like I was forgetting something as Wormy laughed so hard he spat the Gobstopper he'd been sucking so hard that it hit the opposite wall and stuck there with a loud, reverberating 'ping'. "OI! STUDENTS OUT OF BED! COME HERE, YOU LITTLE BRATS!," roared a familiar, crotchety old voice. "Oh shit, it's Filch!," Pete cried, already sprinting down the corridor in the direction of the stairs. Remus and I weren't far behind him, Remus moving with a slightly lopsided gait as he cursed Peeves under his breath at every step. "Fucking prick of a poltergeist!," Moony swore as his toes smacked into a crate someone had left beside the wall, "Those were my favorite shoes, and I can't do much with one of them!"

The talking, no matter how quietly- bad idea. Filch had ears like a bat, he must have been waiting to see if we'd do something worthy of expulsion before pouncing and eventually decided to cut his losses and bring us in anyway. I swear, Lily hated me more every time she spotted me scrubbing the flagstones in the Entrance Hall or the other cruel and unusual punishments Filch specialized in coming up with.

"OI! LUPIN! I KNOW THAT'S YOU, BOY! STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU TWO!" It seemed that Pete was a lot faster than I'd thought, he was already out of Filch's line of sight, the lucky fecker. Since when was Wormy a Class-A sprinter? Remus caught his toe in the crack between two unevenly-placed flagstones and he stumbled forwards. "Hurry up, Moony!," I panted, grabbing him by the back of hs shirt and righting him as I sprinted past, dragging him behind me until he'd recovered his balance. Filch was getting closer and closer, and I could hear the soft footfalls of an animal behind me- that could only be the Devil incarnate (a.k.a. Mrs Norris).

Remus and I practically threw ourselves down the stairs, Pete so far ahead we couldn't catch so much as a glimpse of him. Oh well, Wormy would just have to look after himself. We couldn't go to Gryffindor Tower- that would be as good as turning ourselves in. We'd have to find somewhere else to lay low until Filch was distracted and we could make a run for it, so Remus and I decided simultaneously and silently to head for the kitchens and hide in the pantry. All was going well, or as well as it could when you and one of your best mates are being chased by a cranky caretaker and his demonic cat, who were surprisingly faster than you'd expect by the way, until we crossed into the left sixth floor corridor.

The first sign that something ominous was afoot was when several pieces of chalk appeared out of nowhere and started to pelt Remus and I as we sprinted past. The second happened when we turned a corner only to find a carpet of marbles approaching us rapidly, leaving us with two choices- 1) turn tail and hope we could sprint past Filch without getting caught, or 2) run into the carpet of death and hope for the best.

"FUCKING OW!," Moony yelled as we hurried over the marbles with great leaping strides. Moony's left foot was getting a hell of a beating, he'd probably demand that we prank Peeves in revenge for stealing his shoe. Do you how hard it is to prank a ghost?! Speaking of ghosts… "FILCHY! POT_TY_ AND LOONY _LU_PIN'RE OUT OF _BE-ED_ IN THE LEFT SIXTH CORRI_DOR_!," Peeves sang gleefully at the top of his voice, materializing in front of us, glowing so brightly that although Filch probably couldn't see us well enough to identify us yet, he could see Peeves, pointing at us as we sprinted wildly across the sea of marbles as Remus cursed like a Muggle sailor.

"FIRST TIME YOU'VE EVER BEEN USEFUL, PEEVES!," Filch yelled semi-gratefully. Then… "POTTER, LUPIN, GET BACK HERE SO I CAN WHIP YOUR ARSES SCARLET!" I was so shocked that I jumped a foot, and since I was landing in marbles I lost my balance and fell flat on my back spectacularly. Beside me, Remus was startled by my dramatic fall and lost his balance, falling as well. Filch and Mrs Norris started to gain on us, and clearly having picked a side (Filch's, for the first time in Hogwart's history) Peeves vanished his marble sea for their benefit.

Remus and I scrambled to our feet and started running again, moaning at the pains in our backs and practically-bare foot (Moony). Judging by the mixture of human and feline screeches from behind us, Filch had done something to Mrs Norris. "PUT HER DOWN, YOU FILTHY, GHOSTLY CRETIN!," Filch howled, shortly followed by the sound of Peeves' manic cackling laughter. Mrs Norris flew past us, scrawny paws scrabbling at air as she sailed over our heads and thudded to the floor a few feet in front of us with an almighty screech. Going on the sounds of swooshing air behind us, Filch was trying to hit Peeves with the broom that never left his hands, and by the accompanying cackles of defiance and howls of fury, it wasn't really working.

Probably momentarily tired of taunting Filch (now mere feet behind us- cue the terrified gulps), Peeves zoomed forwards to appear in front of Moony and I, smirking widely as he swung Remus' shoe around by the shoelaces, taunting Remus instead of Filch. Moony cursed and waved his fingers at Peeves in various rude gestures as we ran, Moony scooping up a clawing Mrs Norris as we went for reasons unknown to me. I glanced back over my shoulder and yelped in shock and fear as my eyes met Filch's cataract-y orbs, less than a foot behind us. "Come back here, _Potter,_" he spat viciously, reaching out for me with arthritic fingers. I smirked back at him, imitating the gesture Remus had just made at Peeves with a quick wink. Filch's scrawny fingers scrabbled at my shoulder before I got my second wind and sped up, getting myself just out of his reach. Merlin, but Filch was very fit for a bloke of his age. He wasn't even slowing fractionally as he sprinted after Moony and I, and Moony only had one shoe.

Although, it seemed like Remus didn't intend to remain in his single-shoed-state for long. Hefting Mrs Norris in his arms like a Quaffle, he screamed out, "DIE, YOU SHOE-STEALING, SHIT-EATING POLTERGEIST!" Then Moony chucked a screeching Mrs Norris through the air at Peeves (cue Filch's furious screams), knocking his left shoe out of the poltergeist's grasp. It flew across the floor and Remus sprinted forward to scoop it up, flipping Peeves the bird as we rushed past. "FUCK YOU, PEEVES," he yelled over his shoulder with a broad grin. Peeves shook his transparent fist at us with a scowl. "PEEVSIES IS GONNA GET YOU, LOONY LUPIN!," was the poltergeist's reply.

Apparently, Remus' Operation Get Shoe Back had had two aims: get his shoe back (_obviously_) and distract Filch long enough for us to get away. The next time I glanced back over my shoulder, Filch was on his knees beside his winded cat, crying with either anger or extreme concern. Remus had glanced back as well, and seeing Filch on the floor beside his beloved act, bawling his eyes out. Peeves was hovering next to Filch, a comical expression of disappointment in the caretaker for not living up to his usual vicious snarling reputation. Remus looked over to me as we ran on, up a flight of stairs, and grinned like a lunatic, giving me the thumbs-up. I grinned back, putting up my thumbs too with a cheeky wink.

Since Filch figuring out who we were was kind of a moot point, we just headed back to Gryffindor Tower. We skidded to a halt in front of the disapproving Fat Lady, panting bent double with our hands on our knees and big fat grins on our faces. "F-Fortuna M-Major," Remus gasped out, still short of breath. Still frowning disapprovingly at us, she swung out to expose the portrait hole. Pushing and shoving playfully, Remus and I climbed through into the Common Room.

Pete was sitting in an armchair by the fire watching the portrait hole. When he saw us enter, he leapt to his feet, looking relieved. "What happened, Prongs, Moony?," he asked, looking worried and maybe a tiny bit ashamed for abandoning us. Moony and I took one look at each other and burst out in waves of laughter. "What happened, guys?," repeated a bewildered Wormy. Moony and I collapsed on the floor in hysterics.

When I'd finally recovered, I looked back up at Pete and decided to put him out of his misery. "Remus chucked Mrs Norris at Peeves, got back his shoes, and made Filch cry," I spluttered, snickering and laughing at the memory of the usually angry man folding and bursting into tears at the sight of his winded cat (a.k.a. felled spawn of Satan) splayed on the flagstones. Peter looked at us in disbelief, before shaking his head and heading for the stairs. "Going to bed," he muttered, still shocked. I grinned at Remus, who got up off the carpet and followed me and Pete up the stairs to our dormitory.

It was only later, when we were all changed and in bed, that we remembered that Sirius was still out. _Poor unfortunate fecker. _"Is Padfoot still with Lissa, d'you think?," Moony asked, voicing all of our thoughts. "Probably," Peter mused, "What do you think they're doing?" I snorted into my pillow at Padfoot's infamously terrible luck. "Probably getting his head chewed off by his bed-headed beloved," I said, bringing on a fresh wave of laughter that I didn't even try to stifle. Soon Wormy and Moony were laughing too, so loudly that I think we literally made our beds shake, and not in the way Padfoot usually made his shake (hint: in the past, it had sometimes involved, for example, Rhonda Corner). "Poor fecker," Moony snorted. Pete and I agreed silently. _Poor fecker indeed. _

**Soo… Thoughts? Do you agree with James, Remus and Peter- Is Sirius indeed a 'poor fecker', or is it Lissa whose gotten the rough end of the deal? As always- liked it, hated it? Please review, and hope you enjoyed the chapter! **


	17. Serious Conversations

**Hello! This chapter might be a little overdue, but I had terrible writers block I just couldn't shake. Anyway, thanks to the reviewers for the last chapter: **Nonna Nito**, **Vivi Bright**, **Lalina92 **and the guest reviewer. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Sirius' POV**

"IN A MINUTE, SIRIUS BLACK, YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU WERE DEAD! YOU TOTAL BERK, ARROGANT DICKHEAD-," Lissa yelled at the top of her lungs. Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed my friends slipping out the door. _Lucky, bloody eejits. _I winced at the volume of her voice, advancing angrily on her as I did so. When she saw me coming all of her bravado blew right out of her, leaving nothing but a scared little girl cowering on a bed behind. I stopped immediately, horrified at her fear of me.

I sat down on the bed next to Lissa, who had curled into the fetal position face down on the bed, and reached out to lay my hand gently on her back, rubbing circles to try and sooth her some little bit. The poor girl was shaking. "Ssshh, Liss, it's alright. It's alright."

It wasn't quite alright for me though. For the last week I'd been a wreck, unable to eat or sleep. I'd spent hours just lying in bed, frozen and staring blankly at the ceiling. I'd thought she was dead, for Merlin's sake- that my cousins had somehow gotten to her and finished what they'd started. The pain of thinking that someone you love has died, and died horribly, is unimaginable. The agony is all-consuming, and I'm sure that if I ever have to face that again I won't be able to hold onto my sanity.

Suddenly Lissa got up off the bed and started to pace frantically around the small room. I took the chance to get a good look at her, making sure that she hadn't hurt herself. Her dark chestnut hair, usually sleek with a light wave, was messy and wild. Her face was deathly pale, making the tiny freckles that dotted her complexion stand out sharply. The pink tartan pajamas she wore were wrinkled and twisted on her now-scrawny frame. The pajama bottoms were about three inches too short, exposing near-skeletal ankles, which was odd, because the pajama top, buttoned up all the way, was a little too big if anything, hanging well past her tiny wrists. All in all, Lissa looked every bit as wrecked as me, and that was saying something.

"What the hell happened, Liss? Why would you just let everyone think you're dead while you're really hiding out in the same castle your beyond-worried friends are probably searching at this very moment?"

Lissa continued to pace, shaking her head like a crazy person. "They don't get it, Dumbledore doesn't get it, you don't get it. No one knows the full story 'cept maybe DJ, and I dunno…," she trailed off. I nearly winced at the tortured tone of her voice. What the hell did she mean? I'd already known she'd been tortured by my cousins, but it hadn't been more than that, right?

"You don't know what, Lissa?," I prompted gently, doing my best to keep my voice even. She started shaking her head again, so violently she nearly snapped her neck. Then she whirled round to face me, and I gasped. Lissa looked like someone driven to madness with her huge, bugging emerald eyes shining with unbearable agony and frustration. "I don't know how to deal with it," she admitted in a small, childlike voice, lower lip trembling like she was about to cry, "But I've got no choice but to find out. I deal or I die," she finished with an eerie smile.

_Or I die? What the fuck? When did Lissa turn into some dramatic, hopeless romantic? She hit me when I tried to buy her roses, for Merlin's sake! Something terrible must have happened to screw her up so badly!_

"What do you mean, Liss?," I asked urgently, placing myself in front of her and gripping her shaking shoulder to stop her pacing. I tried look her straight in the eyes, but she kept her gaze fixed firmly on the floor. Next thing I knew, her head snapped up and her eerie eyes bored straight into mine with an intensity that nearly mad me flinch. Then all of the craziness seemed to leak right out of her, leaving me holding a perfectly normal looking girl by the shoulders. Even the trembling had stopped.

She smiled at me softly, eyes sparkling like they used to when we were on dates. "I'm really sorry for everything that's happened, Sirius. I suppose I didn't handle my situation very well, and the person that hurt most was you. Don't worry though, I'm sure you be able to find out everything by next year, but probably not from me, due to future circumstances that will be beyond my control. Sorry again, and no matter what I may have accidentally implied, none of this has been your fault."

Okay, _now_ I was confused. What did she mean that I probably wouldn't be able to find out everything from her? Why wouldn't I? "Why wouldn't I be able to find everything out from you next year, Liss? What 'future circumstances' are you talking about?," I asked her gently, trying to keep the urgent burning curiosity out of my voice.

Suddenly the eerie glaze in her eyes was gone, replaced by brief flashes of fear and pain before all emotion was wiped from them, leaving me staring into cold, expressionless orbs. "Nothing, I shouldn't have spoken," Lissa said in a cold monotone, making me flinch, "I'll just go now." She flicked her wand and muttered something under her breath, spelling herself into jeans, a long-sleeved thick knit sweater and a pair of sneakers. Then she turned on her heel and left me alone with my thoughts, none of which I could bear.

§ § § §

"She said _what?,"_ James asked incredulously. I'd just spent the last half hour filling my friends in on what Lissa had said to me in the Room of Requirement, and they had yet to shed any light on the matter. James and Peter were staring at me with their jaws hovering about an inch from the floor, but at least they were more useful to me than Moony, who was sprawled out on his bed, hugging a sneaker to his chest and caressing it lovingly with one hand. With the other hand he was manically scrawling a letter to Dumbledore, cackling madly and muttering under his breath about getting his shoes back from that 'mad, mother-fucking, cock-sucking poltergeist'. It was about four a.m. at this point, but no one else in the dorm was having a psychotic fit. Between Lissa and Remus, I was being driven demented. Why was almost everyone I cared about currently experiencing psychotic breaks?

I sighed heavily, feelings of anger and frustration washing over me. "I've already told you, Prongs, and me telling the two of you yet again that my ex-girlfriend is rapidly becoming a depressed, psychotic spacer won't exactly help with the fact that I'm battling the urge to run to Dumbledore and get him to have her sectioned!," I raged, kicking at the frame of me bed before collapsing onto it in a boneless slump of frustration. As I contemplated sending Wormtail down to the kitchens for enough Firewhiskey to drown a small House Elf, Moony switched from insane and manic laughter to angry and furious wailing. Wormy, determined to help his friend, took slow and careful steps towards Remus (now rolling around on his bed, stabbing at the mattress with the point of his eagle feather quill while screaming about poltergeists with tendencies towards kleptomania). Next thing James and I knew, Wormy was rolling around on the floor of our dorm clutching at the deep puncture wound Remus had inflicted with the eagle feather quill he held like a dagger as he hovered over a terrified and incapacitated Wormy with a manic look in his eyes. Guess that ruled out Wormtail for Firewhiskey courier services then…

James sighed heavily, flicking his wand in Remus' direction, magically binding our friend until he recovered from his temporary bout of homicidal insanity. Then he knelt beside a weeping Wormtail, soothing and distracting him from the pain with Chocolate Frogs filched from Remus' secret stash. "Must be close to the full moon," I muttered to myself, staring absently at the scarlet canopy of my bed. Last month before the full moon he'd gutted a first year's teddy bear and gotten detention for a week for putting the poor eleven-year-old through 'excessive emotional trauma', whatever the fuck that meant.

I looked up to see an exhausted looking James sitting on the bed beside me, nibbling on a Chocolate Frog like it had done him physical harm. He shoved the last crumbs into his mouth, swallowed, and turned to look at me. "Pads, if you end up talking to Dumbledore about Lissa's issues, see if you can work Moony's rare spells of homicidal rage into the conversation. Maybe they can keep each other company in Mungo's." Glancing over at Moony, hog-tied to his bedpost with a Christmas jumper, and remembering the eerie look in Lissa's eyes as she basically told me that she might not be around next year due to 'future circumstances', I couldn't help but agree.

**Lissa's POV**

My friends sat in front of me on the dormitory floor, wide-eyed and wearing expressions that ranged from angry to amazed. Mary and Marlene both looked annoyingly sympathetic, Alice was shocked, and Emmeline and Lily were identical pictures of red-faced fury. Wade, judging by the broomstick propped up against Mary's bed, had flown in through the window the girls had left open for him, his freckled face a picture of shock and relief. Fabian and Gideon (they'd turned up outside our dorm door behind me, I didn't know how they got past the stairs, nor did I want to) looked like they didn't know what to think. They'd brought Benjy, Frank and Ian along, but while it had been highly decent of them to help look for me, I got the impression that it had had more to do with impressing their girlfriends that finding me, although I'm sure they'd been worried enough as well. Thus why they were trying to discreetly cop looks at their girlfriends' underwear drawers instead of focusing on the matter at hand.

Lily pushed herself up off the floor and stalked towards me, towering over me as she glared. "What the fuck, Liss?," she hissed to the sound of everyone's shocked gasps. "You cursed, Lils," murmured Alice, recovered from paralyzing shock, "How's that feel?" Lily turned on her heel. "Bite me, Al," she snarled viciously at Alice, who squeaked and threw herself at Frank, who was grinning down at her like a Cheshire cat. Relationships…Nice for some, I guessed. I missed mine, but even if Bellatrix Lestrange hadn't been issuing death threats, I was pretty sure that I'd burned all of my bridges with Sirius. Then Lily whirled back to me and all thoughts of Sirius were wiped from my mind and replaced my cold, hard terror.

"You'd better start explaining, Lissa," Lily hissed angrily. I gulped and did my best impression of a bobble-head. Head down, I made my way over to my bed and flopped down on it, sitting up against the head board. My friends and the assorted boyfriends followed suit, pulling themselves up and plopping down onto the six beds in the room. When the creaking of the bedsprings died down and I felt the combined glares of eleven people on the top of my head, I looked up and took a deep breath, preparing to start.

"Well, I'm sure Wade's told all of you that the last time he saw me was when we ran into Sirius on our way back from Dumbledore's office. Sirius was kind of angry when he saw Wade, so I sent him back to his Common Room so that I could calm Sirius down. We had a fight, things were said, and I ran away and hid in the Room of Requirement. I guess I just lost track of time." _I had a nervous breakdown. _

I dropped my gaze back to my bed sheets, studying the striped pattern like it contained the secret to life itself. I snapped my head back up when I heard an angry huff and the creak of my trunk being opened. Wade, with a face like thunder, rummaged through my trunk like a maniac, yanking out sheets of parchment and chucking them over his shoulder. Then it hit me what Wade was doing in my trunk looking for parchment- he'd found my letters from Bellatrix Lestrange, or strongly suspected that something was up with the letters I'd been hiding, and now he was going to show everybody else.

I dived off the bed and onto Wade's back, clinging on like a limpet when he freaked out and tried to shake me off. He was a multi-tasker, apparently, so he continued to rifle through the impressive stash of parchment I had in my trunk. "NO WADE, GET OUT OF MY TRUNK, GET OUT OF MY TRUNK!," I howled shrilly at the top of my lungs. A bewildered pair of Prewett twins through themselves flat on the floor and covered their ears. "Got something to hide, Lissa?," Wade taunted, scanning yet another piece of parchment that turned out to be my Potions homework before throwing it over his shoulder. I reached forward over his shoulder and tried to bat his hands away from my trunk, unsuccessfully.

"GOT IT!," Wade exclaimed loudly, waving a small stack of parchment sheets over his head, keeping them just out of my reach. He suddenly turned round to see that I was still on top of him. With a sigh, he murmured, "Can someone please get her off me?" "Come on, Liss, come down. Come on now," came the soothing voice of Fabian Prewett from behind me. Two pairs of hands took hold off me and pulled off Wade gently. "Good girl, Liss," Gideon whispered softly into my ear as he set me down on his bed, settling me in between him and his twin. Both boys threw an arm over my shoulder, keeping me up.

"I knew it, Liss! One of those Death Eaters have been writing to you- that's why you disappeared, isn't it?," Wade exclaimed, waving the papers around wildly. I nodded weakly, and the looks of shock and horror spread around the dorm in a circle from Benjy Fenwick to Lily like a chain reaction. "Oh Merlin, Liss," Marlene murmured, "Why didn't you say anything?" I shook my head, staring at my lap. "I couldn't. Don't ever read those letters- they're really horrible. The things she says about you, about my family… I just… horrible."

I couldn't say anymore. I twisted my wand through my fingers absent-mindedly, suppressing shudders at the memories Bellatrix had brought up- my father and mother, dead in pools of drying blood, DJ, cut up like a slab of meat with his leg so shattered that it appeared boneless, the pain that lanced through me like a thousand white-hot knives at every curse that passed from the Death Eaters' lips…

Suddenly I heard the sound of paper rustling and snapped my head up. My stomach dropped. Wade must have passed out the letters to everyone, because everyone in the dorm was either holding a sheet of parchment or peering over someone else's shoulder at one. Everyone wore identical expressions of horror. "Oh Merlin," Benjy Fenwick murmured, "_Bellatrix Lestrange? _Oh Merlin." Murmurs of agreement rippled through the dorm as they all stared at me with pity and shock in their eyes.

I couldn't look them in the eye- not only was I the reason that they were all probably in grave danger, but they didn't even know the half of it. If I had to guess, I'd say that Rodolphus had warned Bellatrix to keep any contact she had with me under Dumbledore's radar, because I hadn't received a letter from her in the normal morning post for a while now. She'd sent owls that flew in discreetly through the Common Room window, the library and dormitory windows, and for the last week, the Room of Requirement. They were obviously charmed to be delivered directly to me wherever I was within Hogwarts, very advanced magic. They'd gotten more and more threatening, but my friends wouldn't be reading the worst ones, the ones I had at that very moment tucked inside a secret pocket I'd sewn into the lining of my robes for that very purpose.

The letters were the main reason I'd confined myself to the Room of Requirement for the past week, and if I'd had my way I'd have stayed there for a few more. They'd been getting worse, Bellatrix using her letters to taunt me with news of the Death Eaters' hunt for DJ, Harry and Jasper, threats about how she would kill me this summer, and taunts about my dead parents and my friends. I hadn't told anyone, as I'd been ordered, because if I did, Dumbledore would find out. If Dumbledore found out then Bellatrix would know I'd told, and she'd carry out her threats: kill everyone I knew and cared about. Emmeline, Alice, Mary, Marlene, Lily, Fabian, Gideon, Wade, Sirius… She'd probably even go after James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Ian Harrington, Frank Longbottom and Benjy Fenwick for good measure. Everyone would die, and it would be all my fault.

"Merlin," Fabian murmured beside me, clutching one of Bellatrix's letters to me and exchanging horrified glances with his twin, who leaned across me to look at the letter. All color drained from Gideon's face, and his eyes blazed brightly with a maelstrom of emotion. "Fabian, Gideon, what's wrong?," Ian asked his friends, concern evident in his tone of voice, something that surprised me in itself. Ian Harrington, for as long as I'd known him well enough to notice, wasn't a person who wore his heart on his sleeve. He was very Slytherin in that aspect, despite his being sorted into Gryffindor.

Gidoen spoke up first, in a weak and emotional yet angry voice that shook me to the core. "That _psychotic bitch_ Bellatrix Lestrange wrote to Lissa, threatening all of us, but she seems to take particular offence to our branch of the Prewetts. Our older sister Molly married Arthur Weasley a few years back, and the Death Eaters're calling him a blood traitor." Gideon seemed unable to continue, staring off into space with an expression that spoke of helpless rage, of wanting to rip Bellatrix Lestrange into a million pieces but knowing that it could never be.

Fabian continued on where his twin had left off. "She's threatened the children," he explained in a hard voice, "Our nephews. Bill's seven, Charlie five, and little Percy's only a baby. What a _monster_," he spat hatefully, shuddering with fury. The others were too shocked to say a thing, staring wide-eyed at the Prewett twins, gob smacked. I wanted desperately to hug them tightly and whisper that everything would be okay, that I would throw myself in front of their family rather than let them die, but I was surely the last person Fabian and Gideon wanted to see at that moment. I couldn't blame them, really.

Frank Longbottom broke the charged silence, looking rather nervous. I doubted that Frank was truly shy, just…reserved. Merlin, he was perfect for Alice! "They've threatened my mother," he said simply, no fear or anger. They all stared at him in horror, save for me (I'd read those letters to many times to bear thinking of) and Fabian and Gideon (who, to be fair, had plenty of their own problems at the time being). Then to my (and everyone else's) shock and horror, Frank cracked a smile and chuckled deeply. When he looked up and saw everyone's shocked and horrified faces, he looked slightly puzzled for a moment before understanding dawned. "My mother doesn't take kindly to being threatened," Frank mumbled, blushing slightly, "She locked my grandfather in the library for a week once, because he didn't want her to marry my father. He has a panic attack just looking at a book now, hasn't been the same since," he finished, nuzzling a delighted Alice's neck to hide his lightly slushed cheeks. We all chuckled a little before we all remembered why we were here.

Silence fell again, and we all gazed at our own spots on the dormitory wallpaper. Finally I broke it, keeping my eyes fixed on my scuffed and muddy sneakers as I poked at the carpet with my feet. "Bellatrix Lestrange isn't going to give up," I said in as clear and emotionless a voice as I could, "And without me around, the only one of you still in danger from her is Wade. If I wasn't s close to all of you, she'd have no reason to go after anyone of you but Wade. Emm, Alice, Lils, Mary, Marley, Fabe, Gid, Benjy, Frank, Ian- the only reason she could possibly have to go after you is you association with me, so if that's no longer there, if all of you ignored me and I ignored you, you'd all be perfectly safe and so would you families."

When I'd finished speaking, everyone spoke at once. "Total rubbish," Lily proclaimed haughtily, sticking her nose in the air. "I agree," Marlene chimed in, snuggling in closer to Benjy. "Bullshit," Fabian and Gideon announced simultaneously, tightening their arms around my shoulders, sandwiching me tightly between them. "I don't think that's going to be necessary," Ian said with a haughty tone to rival Lily's. I kept my gaze firmly on my shoes.

"Well I do," I said softly, "I've had a good long week to think this over, and I've come to my decision- I'm going to pretend that I don't know any of you for the rest of our time at Hogwarts, and all of you will live long happy lives, far from the twisted mind of Bellatrix Lestrange. I'll sleep in the Room of Requirement until McGonagall catches on, and I'll eat in the kitchens. You'll only see me in class, but I don't think I'll be attending very often. Sorry again for the trouble I've already put you through." With that I slipped out of Fabian and Gideon's arms while everyone was still paralyzed with shock, levitated my trunk out the door, and tore through the Common Room.

"Hey, watch it, lady-OWWW!" I pushed my way through a group of first years doing their homework at the foot o the stairs, my trunk sending a blond-haired girl with pigtails flying through the air until she smacked into Remus Lupin's chest, sending them both flying backwards onto a couch. Suddenly everyone in the Common Room was staring at me, clearing a path to the portrait hole for me with fearful expressions. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed James and Peter helping the little blond first-year and Remus up while Sirius stood beside them, staring after me with an unreadable expression.

I tore down the corridors, afraid that at any minute my friends might recover and pull me back to explain my actions more fully.

I skidded to halt in the left seventh floor corridor, opening the entrance to the Room of Requirement. I flung open the door, dropped my trunk and fell onto the bed in a sobbing, panting heap. When I'd finished sobbing my eyes out over an hour later, I pulled out the bundle of Bellatrix's letters from this past week, the ones to horrible to let my friends see. I unfolded one sheet of parchment with shaing hands.

_Dear Lissy,_

_I hear your brother and cousin are still alive, and so, regrettably, is Harold Simmons. Of course, that unpleasant situation won't last for long, don't you worry, Lissy darling. _

_Now, Lissy, how are those charming friends of yours doing? Fabian and Gideon Prewett, their lovely little nephews, William, Charles and Percy? Marlene McKinnon, her sweet little twin brothers Seth and Cody? What are they now, ten? Eleven? I may have to pay the little sweethearts a visit one of these days._

_Anyway, Lissy my darling, how's Sirius doing? Dear Evan Rosier and Antonin Dolohov certainly think you could stay further away from him, and from what they've told me via their letters, I agree. You, Lissy my dear, are nothing but a filthy little Half-breed, and disowned or not, my little cousin is still a Pureblood. It wouldn't do to have him soiling his pure bloodline with a Half-breed whore, now would it? Keep that in mind._

_Until summer,_

_Bellatrix Lestrange_

I took a deep, shuddering breath and put the letter down. Bad as that letter may have been, some of the other were much worse. I thought of sweet little Seth and Cody McKinnon, the cheerful blond-haired identical twins, not yet eleven. I remembered seeing Bill Weasley at Kings Cross station at the start of the year, protective arm around his eldest little brother Charlie and keeping a watchful eye on his baby brother Percy, perched solemnly on his mother's hip.

No, I was doing the right thing, no question about it. I was putting innocent children at risk, not to mention my friends. My friends were blinded by their unswerving loyalty, but I couldn't let them put themselves and their families in danger. Even if they were too blind to see this, I wasn't. If they wouldn't protect themselves, I would do it for them, even if I had to do it in spite of them.

**So, what did you think of the chapter? Whatever you think, please leave a review (reviews make a certain author happy-dance)! Thanks for reading **


	18. McGonagall's Mercy

**Hello! So I was thinking of adding drama to this story's genres… thoughts? Anyway, enjoy the chapter! **

**Remus' POV**

Ever since the day that Lissa Crawford had ran out of the Gryffindor Common Room, batting first years out of the way with her floating trunk, things at Hogwarts had been… volatile…at best, not least in class and in our dormitory. The instant Lissa had climbed through the portrait hole for the last time, Sirius had been impossible to live with. He barely ate, instead choosing to spend mealtimes searching the castle in hopes of catching a glimpse of his elusive ex-girlfriend, who had yet to show up for a meal in the Great Hall or more than three or four classes a day. He took it upon himself to drag us with him, meaning that we barely got to eat either. He spent his nights muttering darkly to himself and occasionally sending hexes at the numerous piles of dirty laundry that littered our dormitory floor. Sirius' aim wasn't exactly the best, especially when he was in a bad mood, so James, Peter and I spent most of our night pretending to be asleep (the only way to get any peace from Sirius) while really we were praying to the powers that be that the next Dark hex Sirius shot would hit the piles of laundry instead of us. Ever since Peter had been hit in the nose with a hex that made it swell to three times its normal size and seep with foul-smelling pus, we'd been so wary that none of us had gotten a wink of sleep in ages.

Lissa's friends didn't seem much happier. Usually Emmeline, Marlene and Alice would play nearly as many pranks as us, but as of late they'd taken to moping around in the library with their boyfriends, even though it was more likely that the heavens would open and rain cuddly pink ogres than it was that any of the three girls would open a book. Even Lily and Mary, normally studious enough, were too sulky and depressed to study. Wade Simmons had given ten first years detention for 'breathing loudly in the corridors' two days ago, and stormed around the castle with a face like thunder. If you saw Wade Simmons coming, you got out of his way or you landed yourself detention for a month. Of course, I'd no doubt that his bad mood wasn't helped by Sirius' favorite method of stress relief- firing hexes at prefects. And since Simmons was Sirius' pet peeve, he got it a lot worse than most of the Slytherins, especially now that Lissa was hardly ever around to stop it as she usually would. Fabian and Gideon Prewett no longer grinned or laughed, and, unlike Marlene, Emmeline and Alice, their pranks had gotten more frequent and slightly vicious, for example the time they'd exploded Greenhouse Three with ten cases of Dr Filibuster's Wet-Start Fireworks without so much as a thought to the class of now permanently mentally-scarred second years that had been inside at the time.

McGonagall was at her wits end, between chasing after Sirius, Fabian and Gideon for blowing up school property and hexing students in the corridors (such as that memorable event when Sirius turned Lucian Bulstrode into an Acromantula and McGonagall screamed at him so loudly that she actually snapped one of her vocal cords and had to spend a night in the Hospital Wing getting it repaired), and chasing Lissa around the school to try and drag her to class or back to her assigned dormitory. Although Lily Evans had caved to McGonagall's intense questioning and spilled that Lissa was hiding out in the Room of Requirement, it was impossible for anyone to get in without knowing exactly what it turned into for Lissa. More than once, Lissa had slipped out of Arithmancy or Charms (where she'd sit in a corner by herself, a five-foot bubble of space around her reinforced with several invisible but lethal wards) only to find our Head of House lying in wait outside the classroom door. Thanks to James' insistence on his players maintaining a certain level of fitness Lissa was an adept sprinter. Thanks to McGonagall's intense determination that apparently manifested itself by making her into a veritable Class-A sprinter, they were nearly evenly matched. Several times Lissa had only managed to dive back into the Room and avoid McGonagall by the skin of her teeth. She had detention for two months, if she ever emerged from the Room long enough to actually serve them.

The weirdest thing, in my opinion anyway, was Dumbledore's general acceptance of the whole thing. If he had been bothered enough he could have had Lissa out of the Room of Requirement on her arse in seconds, but he didn't seem to be. Sirius had told us all that she had at least been tortured quite brutally by his cousins and their fellow Death Eaters, but that he didn't think she'd given anyone the full story. Probably the person she'd said the most to was Dumbledore, and it must have been really bad if he was willing to let her get away with things (or at least take her chances with McGonagall). Sirius had come to the same conclusion and spent so much time outside of Dumbledore's office, demanding that the gargoyles grant him entrance, that if Lissa was ever forced to serve her two-month block of detentions, she would not be doing so alone.

Whenever Sirius wasn't moaning, James was griping about the state of his Quidditch team. Yes, people of the world, while his best mate's depressive state and semi-self-destructive behavior made said best mate a serious danger to himself and others, James Potter worries about Quidditch. Although, to be fair four of the people going through intense emotional trauma prompted by Lissa's self-imposed semi-exile _were_ on the Quidditch team, so by extension James could have been worried about them as part of his team. Yes, I know, James _can_ be a prat at times, but I'm sure he still cared.

I'd been trying to talk to Lissa for ages, but in every class we shared she cast her protective wards and was out of her seat and through the door the instant the bell rang to signal the end of class. I was seriously worried about her, as well as everyone else. So, because of my concern for Lissa, her friends and my friends, I decided that the best course of action would be to discuss things with Lily, Marlene and Mary. I was the only Marauder that took the class, and none of Lissa's other close friends took the class. Also, I'd always been just a tiny bit afraid of Emmeline and Alice. Marlene, although every bit as bad, could at least be serious for short periods of time, and this was to be a serious conversation.

"Bye guys, gotta get to class," I said, shoving a cheese sandwich into my pocket to eat on the way (we'd only just gotten back from our daily mealtime sweep of the castle, and I was bloody starving). I leaned down to whisper quietly in James' ear. "Try and get Sirius to eat something," I whispered, "He'll make himself sick." I patted Peter's shoulder, not that he looked up from the plate of mashed potatoes he was inhaling like they were the breath of life, and hurried off to Muggle studies.

When I arrived, the door was open and several of the more studious people (mostly Ravenclaws) who took the class were already inside, books out and comparing essays. _Dammit, forgot to do the fucking essay. Fucking Sirius and his obsessive fucking searches at all hours of the night. _I sat myself down at the desk in front of where Lissa's friends sat, and turned around in my chair to face them, clearing my throat to get their attention. Lily and Mary each gave me a small smile; we'd always gotten along. Marlene just gave me a suspicious look. As the girl who was probably Lissa's very best friend along with Simmons, Marlene was clearly going into mama bear mode.

"So, Remus, you were saying," Mary prompted kindly, waving a hand to indicate that they were waiting for me to speak. I flushed lightly. "Yeah, sorry. It's just that Sirius is going ballistic not knowing what's up with Lissa, James is freaking out because his team is falling apart between Lissa and the Prewett twins, and Peter and I are really worried about Lissa as well. We're a mess, really, and from what I've seen none of you seem to be doing much better. McGonagall's one step away from a major freak-out, and I'm afraid that Lissa's going to get in real trouble soon. That's why we need to fix this, that's what I'm trying to do now. Do you think the three of you could tell me what happened the night she left the dormitory? It would really help."

The three girls just sat there for a moment, exchanging odd glances. "Sorry Remus," Lily said with a smile, "Could you just give us a minute?" I nodded and smiled gratefully, turning around to face forward at my desk, giving them some privacy. I tried my best to tune out their whispering behind my back, starting up a conversation with Nathan Abbott who sat next to me. Despite him being one of Wade Simmons' best friends (a.k.a. Padfoot's pet peeve's best friends), Nate and I had always gotten along reasonably well. He was the perfect Ravenclaw: studious, reliable, and intelligent, qualities I admired. Unlike some of the more serious people in Ravenclaw though, Nate knew how to have a laugh as well.

"Hey Nate, did you finish the Herbology essay Sprout gave us last week?," I asked the boy who was doodling a loop pattern on his homework, the picture of boredom. Nate's head perked up at the prospect of conversation, he didn't really have anyone else to talk to in this class. He was a quiet kind of guy, preferring to stick with the friends he already had than invest much time and energy in making new ones, not because he was snooty or anything but because he was quite shy.

"No," he sighed, "I'm awful at Herbology, only took it 'cause I want to be a Healer. I was going to copy Wade's, but he's out all hours trying to get Lissa to come out of the Room of Requirement and talk to him, and Greg didn't take Herbology," he moaned. I shot him a sympathetic grin. "Yeah, I hear you. I took it 'cause I want to be an Auror, and I guess I'm not much good at it either," I said with a grin. Nate looked even more desolate, banging his head off the table. "_I'm so screwed!_," he groaned, running a hand over his face. I grinned at him, and he looked at me like I was either mad or just laughing at his misery. "I did get the essay done though, Nate. You can copy it if you want, but it's not the best," I said with a smirk. Nate's face brightened instantly and he leapt at me, squeezing me tight for a few awkward seconds before pulling back and grinning widely. "Thank you so much, Remus!," he exclaimed, "You're the best!"

I smiled back at him, reaching into my bag to pull out the essay. "Have a ball, mate," I grinned, handing the parchment to him. Nate grinned so widely I thought he'd split his face with the sheer force of smile, immediately beginning to scribble out my essay on a spare sheet of parchment. _Typical Ravenclaw nerd. _I glanced around the classroom, looking for something to amuse myself. The Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Kent, was always late and clearly today wasn't going to be an exception. Lily, Marlene and Mary were still whispering to each other, Nate was copying out my essay by hand in hopes that Sprout wouldn't notice that it was in fact mine, and I was _bored. _

_Should've taken bloody Divination with the lads. It might be a load of bullshit, but at least Trelawney shows up on time and doesn't leave me so bored that I'm forced to watch Davy Gudgeon pick his nose. How that imbecile made it into Ravenclaw is beyond my understanding._

"Remus?," someone called from behind me, poking me gently in the back. I turned around in my seat to face the girls, who were finally finished with their whispered discussion. "So," I asked hesitantly, playing with a loose thread on my robe, "What's the verdict?" Lily, Mary and Marlene exchanged several looks before silently and simultaneously nominating Lily as spokesperson. The three girls cast a few privacy charms discreetly so that no one would hear our conversation.

"Well Remus, you need to understand that Lissa made us promise not to tell anyone, so you can't go spreading this around. She's already going to kill us, but the three of us have decided that at this stage, it's for the best. Alice and Emmeline were against this from the start. Now, if we tell you this you have to promise us one thing: make sure that Sirius doesn't go on a rampage," Lily declared, looking me straight in the eye. I gulped, imagining the multiple ways Sirius could and would injure me if I tried to calm him down in the midst of one of his infamous homicidal rages. I nodded jerkily. "I can promise that I'll do my best. I'll tie him to the Common Room fireplace if I have to," I vowed solemnly. Lily, Mary and Marlene nodded, satisfied.

Lily sighed before resuming her speech. "Well after she turned up after that week we all thought she was missing, we all holed up in our dormitory to discuss it. By all of us I mean the five of us, Wade Simmons, Benjy Fenwick, Frank Longbottom, Ian Harrington and the Prewett twins, in case you were wondering. When we asked Lissa why she'd been gone, she said that after she had some sort of fight with Sirius after she and Wade had had a meeting with Dumbledore, she'd ran away because she'd been upset and then 'lost track of time'. Then Wade remembered having seen her with some letters she'd been hiding, so he went into her trunk to see if they were in there. Lissa freaked out, umped on his back and started screaming. Anyway, Wade found a bunch of letters- written to Lissa by Bellatrix Lestrange, one of the Death Eaters that tortured her this Christmas. I'm sure Sirius has told you by now," Lily stated with a hard look. I looked down at my lap and fiddled around with yet another loose thread. "Yeah," I murmured softly, "He has. But only because he cares so much."

Marlene reached over the desk to pat my hand sympathetically. "I know it can be difficult dealing with Sirius, Remus, but I swear that Lissa didn't just do this to him on a whim." Lily rounded on Marlene furiously, clucking in her ear like an angry hen. Mary just sat there and wrung her hands in her lap, being a less confrontational person than Evans. Merlin, who was I kidding- _everyone _was a less confrontational person than Evans.

Lily continued, shooting Marlene a sharp glare out of the corner of her eye. "Well, we all read a few of Bellatrix's letters, and they were horrible. She was throwing around awful threats like it was nothing- threats about all of Lissa's friends, and even a couple directed at you and your idiotic friends. She threatened Marley's ten-year-old little brothers, Fabian and Gideon's little nephews, Frank's mother, and just about every member of everyone else's immediate and extended family. She was…most fond of threatening Sirius, though. She said things about how she'd rather her cousin die than sully his pure blood with Lissa's 'unpure' blood. She basically said she'd kill her own cousin if Lissa continued to date him. I think that all of the threats to us are the reason Lissa's hiding from us all- she's trying to protect us by making Bellatrix think she doesn't care. She told us herself that that's why she broke up with Sirius."

Then Lily stopped talking and fixed me with a steely glare, Marlene and Mary wearing identical threatening expressions as well. I may or may not have winced a little. "You can't tell Sirius about why Lissa broke up with him," Lily said seriously, "It's one thing for us to tell you, a third party even if you are Sirius' friend, but it wouldn't be right to tell _him_. That's Lissa's decision, Lissa's choice, and it's really not up to us. I can live with telling you, but we all promised her we wouldn't tell Sirius. We're kind of skating on the boundaries of loyalty to a friend here by telling you. So Remus, _you can't tell Sirius._ You can tell him why Lissa's avoiding her friends, you can tell him about the letters. Lissa'll be angry with us when she finds out we clued you in on that much, but I'd say it's all pretty obvious and she might think that Sirius figured it out on his own. You just can't tell Sirius why she broke up with him, because that's Lissa's secret and it's not her only one either."

I nodded, speechless and beyond confused. A million questions were rushing around my brain, but the look in Lily's eyes told me that I'd gotten all that I would be, so I turned back around in my seat. "Hey, Lupin!" Someone nudged my shoulder, so I turned to the side to be greeted by Nate Abbott's grinning face. "Thanks, mate! I promise I'll try do my own essay next time!," he exclaimed, handing me a sheet of parchment covered in my handwriting. I shook my head, trying to clear it off the al-consuming confusion. "Thanks, Nate, no problem," I smiled back. Nate clapped me on the shoulder before turning back to face the front of the room.

_Oh Merlin, what the hell am I supposed to do now?!_

**Lissa's POV**

I was currently sitting in Divination class, holed up by myself in the dimmest corner of the classroom. About fifty wards enforced my five-foot bubble of personal space, and it seemed to be working quite well, despite the odd looks Professor Shipton was shooting me. Old bat probably thought I'd become a social pariah overnight or something. It was only a pity that the wards couldn't stop me from seeing the anguished look on Wade's face as he watched me from where we usually sat together, or the blank expression on Sirius' face as he watched me unashamedly as he did in all the classes we shared, or the vaguely accusing looks James and Peter were shooting me. I swallowed hard, blinking quickly to try and keep the tears at bay. I wasn't naturally a very strong person, and the last few months had indicated that I wasn't exactly the bravest either. Maybe I should've been a bloody Hufflepuff, soft and kindly, especially what with all the crying I've been doing lately.

"No, Mr Potter, your dream journal is _not_ satisfactory!," raged Shipton, blue veins popping on her old-lady forehead. James cowered back slightly, eyeing her Medusa-like white hair warily as she waved a sheet of parchment around so wildly that it caught Ravi Patil on the chin, giving him a nasty-looking paper-cut. I suppressed yet another wave of tears (not exactly on poor Ravi's behalf though) Usually I'd have been sitting next to Wade, muffling our giggles at Shipton's erratic behavior in our cupped hands. Merlin, did I miss my friends!

"What's wrong with it, Professor?," James asked self-righteously, drawing himself up in his chair in a dignified manner that almost everyone knew was entirely put on. James Potter was as dignified as your average muddy porcupine, as he'd made obvious on several occasions (_ahem…_cried when Sirius stole his packet of marshmallows in third year_…ahem_). Shipton looked like she was about to lose it and deck James Potter with her seventy-year-old fists. "What's _wrong_ with it, Potter? What in the name of Merlin is _right_ with it? When I said to list your dreams and attempt to interpret their meanings, I did _not_ intend that you include your twisted and _depraved_ teenage fantasies!"

The room was filled with the sound of laughter, and even I giggled a little. James sat there, innocent as could be, batting his eyelashes in a fair impression of Bambi at Shipton, while Peter grinned manically beside him. Sirius just looked bored with the whole thing, eyes fixed instead on me, open in shocked wonder as he witnessed the slight giggle pass my lips. I stopped immediately.

"But Professor!," James protested, "According to _The Dream Oracle _you assigned us, a dream about a naked—" "THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH, POTTER! YOU HAVE DETENTION WITH ME FOR THE NEXT MONTH, IN WHICH YOU WILL COPY OUT THE FIRST FIVE HUNDRED PAGES OF _THE DREAM ORACLE _YOU LOVE SO MUCH!" Everyone burst out into fresh waves of laughter, and even James smirked a bit. "Even the bit that says my dream means that I'll be going dow—" "TWO MONTHS, POTTER, FOR ABYSMAL AN CRUDE USE OF LANGUAGE! NOW GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!," Shipton roared, red-faced. James hopped out of his seat, and with an elegant sweeping bow, left through the trapdoor. Shipton whirled around to the rest of us, stopping our laughter in its tracks. "As for the rest of you," she hissed menacingly, "I expect perfectly completed homework, or Mr Potter and I will have company in detention!" I gulped. The last time I'd had detention with Shipton, in fourth year, the demented old bat had made me prod chicken guts to try and see if I could find out who'd win the Quidditch World Cup. I'd panicked and predicted the Chudley Cannons, Professor Shipton had put about two hundred Galleons on them and lost all of it rather spectacularly, and it had required the personal intervention of McGonagall to keep me in the class. I was still convinced that the old bird had it out for me, though.

Just that minute the bell rang and everybody started to pack up gratefully. I hadn't even bothered to unpack my thing sin the first place (come on- _Divination_), so I made the mad dash to the trapdoor and was the first one out. I scrambled down the silver ladder as fast as I could, nearly losing my balance several times before slipping and landing unimpressively on the floor on my butt. I could already feel the bruise forming. That is where I went wrong- I was so focused on my crippling injury that I failed to notice McGonagall (who had clearly been lying in wait like a lion about to pounce on its prey) until her hand gripped my upper arm tightly.

"Up, Ms Crawford," she snapped angrily. I reluctantly complied, scrambling awkwardly to me feet and picking up my bag from where it had landed after my fall. McGonagall promptly began to drag me to her office, muttering furiously under her breath about "students with no respect for authority". When we reached her office, she pushed me roughly into a hard wooden chair before regally taking a seat behind her desk. She pushed her spectacles further up her nose and folded her hands delicately before looking down the bridge of her nose at me, seething slightly.

"Now, Ms Crawford, as Professor Dumbledore has assured me that you have experienced a tragic loss and traumatic incident a few months ago, I have thus far not gone to too much effort to punish you. I have allowed you to run amok in this school with no respect for the rules- to sleep in a place that is not your dormitory, to skip the vast majority of your classes, to disrespect me in the hallways and even attempt to hex a teacher- but this will end now. Had it not been for the headmaster's words on your behalf, I would have removed you from the House Quidditch team by now. Professor Dumbledore has even been so lenient as to instruct me to reduce the amount of your detentions for you recent escapades," McGonagall said, looking as though it was physically paining her to do so. Very fond of punishment, was old McGonagall.

I nodded, staring down at my lap. "Sorry about that, Professor. I just, I need to keep away from my friends and from Sirius Black for their own good. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore explained that," I muttered. McGonagall nodded sharply. "Indeed he did," she said thoughtfully, "Although not very clearly. He did, however, make it obvious that this was something you felt the need to do, at least for the time being. That is why, Ms Crawford," McGonagall sighed heavily, slipping off her spectacles to clean them with a Gryffindor monogrammed handkerchief, "I will allow you to spend the night outside of your dormitory once you do not wander the corridors after curfew and make an effort to attend more of your classes. You may go." With that she waved me away.

I got up and left on autopilot, completely shocked by what had just happened. I wasn't thrown off the team, I wasn't given a year of detentions, I wasn't being made to sleep in my dormitory. I was immensely glad of McGonagall's devotion to her House: it wouldn't have been fair to James and the others if I'd been thrown off the team, even though my attendance at training had been sporadical at best as of late. We had the final against Slytherin coming up in a few days, and I knew that Rosier, Dolohov and that little rat Regulus Black were all on the Slytherin House team. I was going to help James, Sirius, Annie, Jon, Fabian and Gideon beat those filthy Death Eaters' asses, and maybe if Fabian and Gideon weren't too pissed at me for ignoring them (albeit for their own good), they might send a couple of extra Bludgers their way. I would win that game if it was the last thing I ever did (and it was totally seeming like it would be).

**So…thoughts? Next chapter will be up soon, depending on whether or not my parents decide to take us away for a night, or whether I have to visit my extended family. Anyway, please review to make my day (I'd actually love you!)! **


	19. The Cup Final

**Hello! Sorry if this chapter is late (I've had family around for the last week), but it's extra-long to make up for it. Enjoy the chapter (and maybe drop me a review * ****puppy-dog eyes *)! **

**Sirius' POV**

The day of the Quidditch Cup final against Slytherin dawned bright and early, or at least it did for me since I'd been up all night, sitting outside the entrance to the Room of Requirement in James' Invisibility Cloak waiting to see if Lissa would come out. I'd finally given up at five o'clock in the morning, at which point James dragged me out to the Quidditch pitch for a morning jog with Jon Bell, the only other team member who'd showed up. Annie had appeared to wave her middle finger at us from the top of the girls' staircase as we left before going back to bed, Fabian and Gideon had booby-trapped the door to their dormitory so effectively that the booby-traps had blown James down the stairs and sent him crashing into a couch, and I hadn't seen Lissa since Transfiguration this morning. The only reason I hadn't dropped dead of exhaustion halfway through my tenth lap was because of the small nap I'd managed to grab during Care of Magical Creatures (the frog-chimaera hybrid I was supposed to have been looking after had burned three layers of skin off the small of my back through my robes, but still worth it).

"Sprint, Sirius, _I said sprint!," _James yelled over his shoulder as he and Jon _sprinted_ about five feet in front of me. My muscles burned and my lungs shriveled into tiny prunes of minimum air-productivity as I pictured two hundred ways I could murder James with the lace of my shoe. "Come _on, _Padfoot!," James screamed again, somehow missing the middle finger I'd extended defiantly before my flagging body. _Some asshole of a best mate I've got._

James eventually gave up on yelling at me to speed up, and the three of us finished our laps as the sky began to brighten from the red-orange hue it took on at dawn. James drank eagerly from a bottle of water he'd brought with him. Jon and I, who had forgotten to bring something to drink as we had been under the false impression that James wasn't a complete and utter slave driver, watched him longingly. When he was finished, James tossed the empty water bottle aside and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, grinning evilly at the looks of absolute longing on our faces. "Forgot our water, did we lads?," James asked teasingly, still grinning widely. Jon was slack-jawed with thirst, eyes glazed over as he dreamt of water. I, on the other hand, was seriously considering ripping out James' eyeballs to wipe that irritating-as-fuck smirk of his face.

Then, just as I was about to snap and wind up drinking my best mate's blood or something (my parents screwed me up _really_ badly), James smiled brightly and knelt by the bottle of water, tapping it lightly and muttering "_Aguamenti." _We hadn't even learned that spell yet, but this was so… _James. _Full of surprises. The bottle filled up to the brim with cold, clear water as Jon and I looked on with wide, longing eyes. With a wink and a smile, James tapped the bottle of water and doubled it, tossing Jon and I a bottle of water each. We gulped down the precious liquid gratefully as James looked on with a slight smile. Lily Evans could say what she wanted about James, but there was no denying that he looked after those he cared about.

§ § § §

"Now class, today we will be working on our conjuring skills. Working in pairs, you will attempt to conjure a silver goblet. The spell is on the board, you have until the end of this class to complete your task. Begin." McGonagall tapped the blackboard and several words appeared, written in elegantly sloping handwriting with thick white chalk. Then she turned to face us expectantly. "Well get on with it, then!" We sighed as one, less than thrilled about spending a class attempting the most difficult Transfiguration assignment of the year so far.

James and I were a little more annoyed than the average student. The biggest Quidditch match of the year, the Cup final, the game against Slytherin, began in a few hours, and we were in Transfiguration trying to magic up a cup. I mean- McGonagall was our bloody Head of House, so she of all people should understand how important this game was. Moony and Wormy had wisely decided to sit at the front of the room, as far away from where Prongs and I sat in the back row as possible. James was muttering furiously under his breath, shooting McGonagall dark looks. I had taken to carving pro-Gryffindor propaganda onto the parts of the wooden desk McGonagall wouldn't spot with my wand, probably doing my fair share of angry muttering myself. It took everything in me not to look back over at where Lissa sat, an empty desk in every direction separating her from the rest of the class, her worried group of friends not even bothering to hide their stares. When I'd looked over last she'd been pale with dark circles under her eyes, and she'd stumbled rather than walked into the classroom. Even though it was the beginning of a very warm summer, Lissa's school robes hung open lopsidedly to reveal a long-sleeved, high-necked red knit jumper and long baggy denim jeans. She honestly looked like she was on the brink of falling apart, and I had no idea how she expected to be able to play a Quidditch match in a few hours, against the Slytherins no less, most of whom seemed to be out for her blood lately.

Finally the bell rang and McGonagall let us go without homework, her only concession regarding the match. I saw from the door how Lissa didn't move from her seat to leave immediately like everyone else, how she stayed in her seat so long that even her determined and often terrifying friends had to give up and go to their next class, whispering lowly to each other about Lissa, no doubt. With a heavy sigh, I followed James, Remus and Peter to our next class. As we turned the corner, I glimpsed Lissa leave the classroom out of the corner of my eye, stumbling and staggering like a drunken person, rubbing her head as if to ward off a strong migraine. I heard rather than felt my unconscious sharp gasp at her haggard appearance. _One way or another, Liss, I'm going to fix you up. Because you could ill me ten times over, rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it, and no matter what I'll still care. I'm not going anywhere. _

**Lissa's POV**

I stumbled out of a secret shortcut next to the empty DADA classroom and slipped inside, taking a desk in the corner and muttering the wards I'd been using to keep my friends at bay under my breath. I glanced up quickly to make sure that Professor Johnson hadn't arrived yet, and when I saw that I was alone I let out a low moan of pain and dropped my head onto the desk, the savage pain of the migraine tearing my skull apart into little bite-sized pieces. I hadn't been eating or sleeping much in the last few days. Just as I felt myself beginning to recover emotionally from the last one, Bellatrix would send me another horrible letter. In the last one she'd taunted me about my brother, Harry and Jasper, saying that they were closing in on them and that she would personally ensure that they would suffer agonizing deaths. It was safe to say that I'd had better days, but I couldn't see any coming up soon, or ever. Bellatrix Lestrange had expressly told me several times that she was going to kill me this summer when I was all alone with no one to save me, and I didn't have a very hard time believing her. I was going to die, it was going to be painful, and all I could do to make things better was to make sure that when I did meet my end I wasn't staying in the McKinnon's spare room at the time (hence the whole 'ditching the mates' scenario).

Gradually the rest of the class began to file in, so I kept my gaze fixed firmly on my desktop to avoid the hurt and concerned stares of my friends. It killed me to do this to them, but why couldn't they just understand that it was for their own good? It wasn't like it was easy for me either. I knew that once they graduated and headed for the Auror training program my brother, Harry and Jasper had dropped out of at the end of the school year, Fabian and Gideon would drop back under Bellatrix's radar, as would Benjy, Frank and Ian. I mean, why would she bother harassing two Pureblood Auror trainees and my friends' boyfriends when she could just get me and the friends I had left at school? Despite the never-ending barrage of cruel letters and the threat of her killing me at the end of the year, I knew that since Bellatrix Lestrange was somewhat of a rising star in the ranks of the Death Eaters there was no way she had anything close to enough spare time and energy to make attacking me her life's work. She was managing to destroy what was left of my life in her free time from Muggle killing and hunting my brother's pesky troop of Death Eater hunters, I wasn't even her main focus. Bellatrix Lestrange was just _that_ good.

DADA passed slowly, as Johnson had decided that today would be a theory class. We were taking down notes on water beasts and merpeople, and I honestly felt like it was the most boring class I'd ever had the pleasure of being present at in my life. "Merpeople are divided up into various sub-species or races, depending on where they live. The earliest merpeople lived in Greece, and were known as sirens. In modern times, those merpeople living in warmer waters take on a more beautiful appearance, while those in colder waters, such as the selkies of Scotland and the Merrows of Ireland, are less attractive in appearance…"

Johnson finished up his lecture on the various species of merpeople and moved on to Kappas, which was only slightly less monotonous. "Kappas live underwater in deep dark areas, such as several areas of our own Black Lake. They do not particularly like humans…," Johnson trailed off as he caught sight of Nate Abbott and Greg Hughes, Wade's best mates, jumping up and down on their chairs as icy-blue colored flames attacked their robes. Two rows behind them, Potter was snickering behind his hand and waving his wand in small precise circles, egging on the blue fire. "JAMES POTTER! YOU REVERSE THAT SPELL NOW OR GRYFFINDOR WILL BE PLAYING ONE CHASER SHORT FOR THE REST OF YOUR HOGWARTS CAREER!," Johnson bellowed at the top of his considerable lungs. I winced, covering my ears. My head felt like it would split open, and I mentally cursed out James bloody Potter and his incorrigible pranking tendencies. Fucking loon.

Nate and Greg started to scream as the flames advanced up the sleeves of their school robes, properly fastened and thus ensuring that they wouldn't simply be able to shrug them off. The flames weren't actually touching their skin yet, but it was getting pretty damn close. "REVERSE THAT BLOODY SPELL POTTER, OR I'LL FEED YOU TO MY DOG!," Johnson howled, red-faced and furious. James jerked up with a terrified gulp and waved his wand in Nate and Greg's direction muttering the counter-curse under his breath. Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, Johnson nodded curtly at James, who was currently leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head and a smirk on his face. "A week of detention, Mr Potter," Johnson hissed, "Be here tomorrow night at eight sharp."

Johnson droned on for the rest of the class, and needless to say only a few of the more studious Ravenclaws and assorted swots paid him any attention, not that he noticed. Nate and Greg were busy glaring at James, who replied with a patented 'Potter Smirk' as Lily had called it. Remus and Peter were huddled together, whispering and sketching something on some scrap parchment, probably planning their next prank. Wade was slouched back in his chair with a sulky expression, barley-visible protective wards shielding his back from a scowling Sirius. Lily and Mary were attempting to take notes but failing due to the boredom elicited from Johnson's monotonous tone, Emmeline and Alice were asleep with their heads on their desks, and Marlene was staring at me and had been for the whole class. I refused to meet her gaze, choosing instead to look out the window.

This was the last class before the match, the Quidditch Cup final, and I was a ball of nerves. What if I'd managed to ruin the team with my antics? Fabian and Gideon were anything but focused, Annie Christoph was a determined ball of energy that I barely managed to ditch between classes as she seemed to have memorized my entire class schedule in an attempt to find out what exactly was wrong, Jon Bell was one step away from crashing with exhaustion from all of his studying for the NEWTs, Sirius was moody and distracted, and James was having a hard time dealing with his new sulky best mate. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I ruined Quidditch for them too. I was a Seeker and a damn good one at that, I'd rarely failed to catch the Snitch first and even if I missed I always tried hard. If the one thing I could do to bring them any sort of happiness were to help win a big Quidditch match, then I would endeavor to do so with every fiber of my being.

§ § § §

"Okay now, team, this is the _Cup final, _the big game, and it's against _Slytherin. _We are obviously the better team, and we can win this match," James said confidently, pacing up and down the changing rooms as we all lay sprawled out on the benches along the walls. "Our Chasers are faster and better at passing, the Slytherin's biggest weakness. They're good at catching and intercepting though, so look out for that today, Christoph and Bell. Our Beaters more accurate than theirs, but they're also more powerful than we are. Fabian, Gideon, try to keep their Beaters away from the Bludgers, it's our only chance. Our Keeper, Sirius, is far more skillful than theirs. As a matter of fact, Flint's weak side is his left so aim for that, Chasers. Our Seeker, Crawford, has better reflexes than the Slytherin Seeker, Regulus Black, but he's smaller and a bit faster, so you'll have to keep a sharp eye out for the Snitch, Crawford, because he'll definitely get it if he sees it first."

Everyone nodded (to placate James more than anything), and the next thing we knew there came the sharp shrill blow of Hooch's whistle from outside on the pitch. James whirled round and fixed each of us with an individual stare. We all took a deep breath before standing and gathering around into a huddle. It was very difficult for me to avoid Fabian, Gideon and Sirius in the huddle, and to be perfectly honest I was suspicious of Annie, Jon and Potter's intentions as well. Although I supposed James was so highly strung out over this final that he didn't have any space left in his head to harbor ulterior intentions, no matter how swollen Lily insisted it was.

I wondered briefly if it would be very stressful for James to find a new Seeker for next year's team, once I was dead in a street corner somewhere. It might sound morbid to have those sorts of thoughts running through my head, especially when I was supposed to be pumped up and full of adrenalin and anticipation for the match, but it made perfect sense to me. I was going to die anyway, and it seemed like the considerate thing to do to make sure that as little people suffered from the fall-out as possible. After everything I'd put everyone through, with my inconsiderate and stubborn solution (still the only way, even if it was horrible and made me feel horrible too), it was the least I could do to try and do a little damage control, you know, limit the collateral damage.

"…Let's go win this game! ONE, TWO, THREE, _GRYFFINDOR!" _We all cheered loudly, getting ourselves psyched up before jumping onto our brooms and flying out to the center of the pitch as the cheers of the crowd followed us all the way. Madam Hooch stood in the middle of the pitch, whistle in hand and equipment case at her feet, indicating that both teams should line up in front of her. "Captains, shake hands," she ordered. James and Mulciber both stepped forward and took the other's hand in his grasp, squeezing so tightly I could have sworn I heard a crack. Mulciber looked like he'd burst a vein with effort, but James just stood there looking professional, although I knew him well enough to know that it was just an elaborate façade. Up in the commentator's box, I glimpsed Ian Harrington wink at Emmeline in the stands beside the box before accepting his magical bullhorn from McGonagall, who looked a little wary and resigned. I couldn't really blame her- the last time Harrington had been seen with that look, it had been moments before he'd been caught cheating on his Transfiguration final using a complicated system of Muggle post-its and whistles, not that the genius even needed to cheat. Like James and Sirius, he did it just for the fun of it.

Madam Hooch nodded to both captains and they fell back into their places in line, James smirking in satisfaction as Mulciber examined his hand with a pained expression. James winked at Sirius, flexing his hand with an evil smirk that I had to struggle not to imitate. Madam Hooch bent down to undo the clasp on the case and opened it, revealing the bright red Quaffle and the black Bludgers, straining violently against the straps holding them in place. She reached into a tiny compartment and pulled out a struggling golden ball flanked by tiny struggling feathered wings- the golden Snitch. As Madam Hooch released it everyone's breath caught in their throats in awe. Then the Snitch zipped away with all the speed of a hummingbird and the crowd's attention turned back to Madam Hooch, who held the Quaffle in her hands. With a sharp blow of the whistle she threw the Quaffle up, signaling the start of the game. We all kicked off just as the sound of straps snapping back could be heard- the Bludgers had been released as well, and the Quidditch Cup final, Gryffindor v Slytherin, had officially begun.

§ § § §

"POTTER INTERCEPTING THE QUAFFLE, PASSING IT OFF TO CHRISTOPH, WHO MISSES AND THE QUAFFLE IS CAUGHT BY DOLOHOV. DOLOHOV PASSES TO ROSIER WHO LINES IT UP FOR A SHOT ON THE GOAL HOOPS. ROSIER SHOOTS FOR THE LEFT HOOP, BUT HIS SHOT IS BLOCKED BY GRYFFINDOR KEEPER BLACK, WHO THROWS THE QUAFFLE OUT TO GRYFFINDOR CHASER BELL," Harrington said excitedly, voice magnified by both the bullhorn and the charm on it. It was about an hour into the game and Gryffindor were up by thirty points. The score currently stood at 70-40, to Gryffindor obviously.

I did another lap of the pitch on my broom, performing a quick Sloth Roll maneuver to avoid a Bludger. The Bludger hurtled over me, grazing my knuckles as it passed. Gideon Prewett was waiting behind me with a concentrated look. With one mighty swing and crack of his Beaters bat, he sent the Bludger smashing into Evan Rosier's back, making him drop the Quaffle. James swiped the Quaffle out of the air and put it through the goal hoop past the Slytherin Keeper. The crowd cheered and roared, and James swept a quick but dramatic bow and wink to his fans. I shook my head, smiling at James' antics good-naturedly. The arrogance of that boy! Then again, with skills like his, who wouldn't be?

I kept my eyes peeled for the Snitch, sneaking glances over at Regulus Black, the Slytherin Seeker, periodically to ensure that he hadn't seen anything either. James had said that while my reflexes and vision were sharper, as the smaller of the two of us Regulus would probably be faster, so I had to make sure that I saw the Snitch first and got a head-start. At that moment Regulus was also flying a lap of the pitch, but in the opposite direction to me, meaning that he was on the opposite side of the pitch. My keen Seeker's eyesight helped me to make out his features, so similar to Sirius'- the same defined cheekbones, aristocratic features and blue-grey eyes, although Regulus' were more of a sky blue than the smoky grey of Sirius'. Regulus hair was the same dark raven-black color, as glossy and soft-looking as his older brother's, but where Sirius' hair fell in shaggy waves to a few inches above his shoulders, Regulus' was kept shorter and neater. Regulus was exactly what I imagined a Slytherin Sirius would have looked like- the same handsome features and aristocratic bearing, but cold eyes as hard as flint and a way of holding himself stiffly instead of the casually elegant and vaguely arrogant bearing of the Sirius I knew. It was interesting, because in a parallel world perhaps it would have been Sirius I was racing to find the Snitch with. Then again, Regulus was the quintessential Black, and even in first year, newly arrived at Hogwarts having known nothing but the stiff Pureblood ways he'd grown up with, Sirius had never been a true Black. I hoped more than anything that Sirius would never become one, no matter what must happen this summer.

"BELL PASSES THE QUAFFLE TO CHRISTOPH, WHO GOES FOR THE GOAL! SHE AIMS… _OOH!" _The entire stadium held their breath as Annie, who only moments before had been lining up her shot on the goals, was hit by a Bludger in the back but refused to drop the Quaffle, even as her slight frame and light weight worked against her and she overbalanced on the broom. Left without a free hand to grab onto her broomstick, Annie pitched forward and started to fall hard towards the unforgiving ground. "_ANNIE!," _Fabian cried, horrified. He swung on a Bludger hovering next to him and sent it flying into the broom of a Slytherin Beater, Algernon Goyle, before taking off towards Annie to try and catch her before she hit the ground, leaving Gideon alone to protect the rest of our team.

James and Jon flew hard in Annie's direction in a desperate attempt to get there on time, the Slytherin Chasers Evan Rosier, Antonin Dolohov and Bertram Aubrey in quick pursuit. Annie was still clutching the Quaffle, refusing to let go for anything as she squeezed her eyes shut and yelped in terror. The poor thing was only just turned fourteen, and at the moment things weren't looking good for her living to turn fifteen.

"CHRISTOPH OF GRYFFINDOR PLUMMETS TO THE GROUND, STILL HOLDING THE QUAFFLE. POTTER, BELL, ROSIER, DOLOHOV AND AUBREY ARE RACING TOWARDS HER, QUICKLY FOLLOWED BY THREE BLUDGERS HIT BY PREWETT, PREWETT AND GOYLE. CHRISTOPH IS MERE FEET FROM THE GROUND AND LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GOING TO HIT IT HARD, BUT CHRISTOPH IS STILL REFUSING TO LET GO OF THE QUAFFLE!"

All eyes were on Annie's falling form, including Regulus Black, when out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed a quick gold flash a few feet off he ground, almost directly below me. Regulus Black was on the other side of the pitch and watching Annie's fall with the rest of the pitch, so I had my head start. We were up enough points that we would win if I caught the Snitch now, so I pointed my broom downwards and plunged towards the ground, gripping the broom with my knees as I freed my hands to reach out for the Snitch.

It was a very long way down to the fluttering Snitch, so I glanced over at Annie and at Regulus. Fabian and James had managed to haul Annie up onto one of their brooms about a foot before she hit the ground, but I saw to my horror that Regulus had also seen the Snitch. Since he was further away than I was but also lower to the ground, it was impossible to tell who would catch the Snitch first. All attention turned to us, even the Chasers grinding to a halt in the air to watch us, the Quaffle forgotten in Evan Rosier's arms. I was about fifty feet above the Snitch, but Regulus was the same distance from it coming from the side and gaining fast.

As I reached out my arm to try and get closer to the Snitch and grab it before Regulus could, I remembered a training session a few months ago. I remembered how Annie's falling body had travelled faster than all of the Chasers broomsticks could fly, so that they'd only caught her at the very last second. I remembered my vow to win this Quidditch match if it was the last thing I ever did. I took a deep breath and, taking special care to keep my eyes on the Snitch, pushed myself off my broom and fell fast.

I barely heard the horrified gasps of the crowd, a few heart-wrenching bellows of horror, and Regulus' shocked intake of breath as I hurtled towards the ground, hands outstretched for the Snitch. Everything blurred into a stream of greens, silvers, reds and golds, with the most important microscopic golden blur hovering a foot from the ground. Praying that the shock would be enough to slow Regulus down and ensure that I wasn't risking my neck for nothing, I reached out until I felt my shoulder burn and pop nearly out of its socket. My fingers brushed soft feathers and I closed my palm around them securely.

"_I CAUGHT IT!,"_ I screamed as I fell ever faster, "I CAUGHT THE SNITCH!" The stadium erupted into cheers, but I could still hear screaming that I knew was not my own. Then I hit the ground, right shoulder first before every line of my body connected with the unforgiving ground hard. I hissed softly through my teeth as pain blossomed and spread through my shoulder (probably broken, I thought with yet another hiss) to my ribs to my back to my ankles. Everywhere hurt, but as I raised my closed fist with the Snitch clasped inside to deafening cheers, it was almost worth it.

The spectators ran out onto the pitch, hugging my other team members and cheering loudly as everyone crowded around my prone but smiling form, Snitch trapped in my grasp as pain rippled through me. I ignored it in favor of smiling brightly at the cheering crowd, bearing Annie, Jon and James on their shoulders as James, the winning team captain, held the Quidditch Cup high in the air. They were all so happy…

"_Merlin _Lissa, what on _earth_ were you thinking?," a familiar voice hissed from beside me. I gulped, turning my head slowly. My eyes met Sirius' stormy grey ones, and they looked furious. _What the _fuck _do I have to do to make him stop caring? Bloody dog with a bone, this one!_ I tried for a smile, but another wave of pain washed over me, so it probably looked more like a grimace. "Umm…catching the Snitch?," I tried, my tone doubtful. My answer really only made Sirius angrier. "Yes, _Lissa," _came yet another voice from above, "What _were_ you thinking?"

I gulped again, slowly turning my head towards the voice. A furious Lily Evans towered above me, flanked by Fabian, Gideon, Mary, Emmeline, Alice and Marlene, all equally as furious. They were so angry and wound up, in fact, that Frank, Benjy and Ian were helping hold them back to prevent them from jumping on me and shredding me into tiny pieces. The crowd parted behind them to reveal Wade, whose pinched pale face and wide terrified eyes only made me feel guiltier. Beside me, I could have sworn I heard Sirius growl. Then the bloody big puppy leant down and snuggled his head into my neck, his hot breath against my skin making me want to shiver. I knew that I should shake him off, it wasn't fair to give him false hope, but I couldn't make myself do it.

"Sorry," I murmured in a small voice. It didn't seem to placate my friends, and Sirius was still breathing far too fast against my neck, but what else did they want me to say? 'Your welcome for the show, come back next week, when I'll be falling from the Castle roof?'

Then to my extreme relief, Madam Pomfrey fought her way through the crowd to reach me, levitating a stretcher before her. "On you get, Crawford," Pomfrey sighed, flicking her wand and levitating me onto the stretcher. I groaned at the movement, and I heard Sirius whimper lowly at the loss of contact with me. I closed my eyes tightly, drawing comfort from the smooth feel of the Snitch I still held in my clenched fist (that may or may not be broken) as Pomfrey directed the stretcher through the crowd. Over the roar of the crowd I heard Pomfrey telling my friends that no, they couldn't come with me, because I had several broken bones and sprained muscles and my condition was too serious (even scared me a little, until I remembered that St Mungos, after I'd arrived a battered and bloody victim of prolonged physical and emotional torture, had rated me as being a mere 'medium-risk patient'. You know, as opposed to the guy chewed up and spat out by a Hungarian Horntail).

Then she levitated my stretcher towards the Hospital Wing, and I let go of the Snitch and opened my eyes to watch it flutter off into the sky. It was so loud and crowded that hardly anybody noticed the fluttering little golden ball, but out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed Regulus Black standing on the outskirts of the crowd, alone although he was surrounded by people, look form the fluttering Snitch to my stretchered form, and give me a little smile. And I smiled back, because we were the same really, Regulus and I, on some level.

§ § § §

"You can open your eyes now, Crawford, your friends are gone." I did open my eyes, admittedly a little shocked, to find myself lying on a bed in the Hospital Wing. Then I looked up to see who had spoken, and my blood froze from pure, primal fear. Evan Rosier was perched lightly on the end of my bed, twirling his wand through his fingers as he watched me with a mildly interested but detached expression. He looked a little amused by my fear, but that would have meant he was displaying emotion, something Slytherins never did. When he saw that I was looking at him, he smiled a cold, bemused little slash of a smile.

Then he leant forward, and I jerked my head back so violently and suddenly that I hit it hard off the wall behind my bed with a light whimper. Rosier's smile widened. Then he opened his mouth to speak again in a tone that betrayed no malice or any kind of emotion at all. "That was the last straw, Crawford, really. We've been nice to you so far, but this is really too much," Evan said with an air of disappointment I knew was put on, shaking his head from side to side, tut-tutting disapprovingly at me as if I were a two-year-old child. "I am afraid, my dear Crawford," he sighed, "That the kid gloves are now truly off. You will come to know what I mean very soon, Crawford. It would be…unnecessarily cruel…to prolong your suffering by too long, so you can rest assured that the effects of this will come quickly enough," Evan assured mildly. He got up from the end of my bed and put his wand into his pocket, turning to leave. "Oh, and Crawford," he said, stopping but not looking back, "Do tell me what Azkaban is like. Nice fellow, that Barty Crouch."

Then Evan Rosier was gone, leaving me gasping dumbly on my bed, grappling with the realization that yes, life could get worse. I had realized instantly what Rosier had meant, and I couldn't believe that anyone was capable of sinking that low. Rosier and his friends planned to throw me down to the ninth circle of hell, with the unwitting help of Barty Crouch, and it was called Azkaban prison.

**Oooh… You might be able to guess what Rosier and Lissa meant there, but if you didn't it will all become clear soon. Hope you liked the chapter! Please review, even just a few words can make this author very happy, and of course, write faster ;)**


	20. Jonathon McKinnon

**Hello! So, not much of a response to the last chapter **** Reviews truly are my inspiration though, and since I go back to school soon and will have less time to write, I'm going to need all the inspiration I can get ;) Enjoy the chapter **

**Lissa's POV**

It had been about a week since I'd slipped away from the Hospital Wing after winning the final and Rosier's lovely visit, and I'd spent that week hiding out in the Room of Requirement, not leaving even for class. It turned out that the one thing the Room of Requirement didn't provide was food, and that McGonagall, in revenge for me not showing up for neither her classes nor her detentions, had ordered the House Elves to bar me from the Kitchens, so my solution had been to take my meals in the Great Hall with everyone else, under a Disillusionment Charm of course. Bet that the old bitch thought that I was gone on hunger strike or something, I mused, shoving a large piece of fried chicken into my mouth and barely managing to stifle my moan of appreciation. I'd taken to sitting at the Slytherin table at mealtimes to avoid the sad looks and mutterings about me of my friends and the Marauders, only to realize that they still muttered about me at the Slytherin table, but that it revolved more around fantasies of serving up my disembodied head on a plate (Slytherins-notoriously sore losers, especially at Quidditch and especially to Gryffindor).

Anyway, despite everything Rosier had come out with about it being cruel to 'prolong my suffering', I had yet to spot either Barty Crouch or a Dementor around the Castle, all ready to whisk me off to Azkaban without such unnecessary theatrics as a trial. Not that this lured me into a false sense of security, oh no. I was a nervous wreck: I cried at least five times a day, had regular panic attacks, was even more paranoid than I'd been since Christmas, and shook like a geriatric twig. I took out all of my anger and frustration on various targets at the Slytherin table. For the last week their morning jug of pumpkin juice had played host to a gob of my saliva, the schoolbags they so carelessly left under the table to my undwindling supply of Dumgbombs, and they themselves to my ire in the form of several minorly illegal curses.

Since _The Daily Prophet _arrived each morning by owl post, and since owls do not deliver to invisible people (i.e. me), I'd been catching the news from over the shoulder of Alexander Nott. I'd even made up a game for it, to be played exclusively at the Slytherin table: for every time a headline mentioned my brother, Harry or Jasper, I'd spit in someone's goblet; for every time there was a headline or other article mentioning a Muggle killing, I'd vaporize someone's homework essay; and for every time one of my friends or Sirius glanced around the Great Hall hopefully looking for me, one of Evan Rosier's teachers thought, according to his latest homework essay, he wanted to have his way with them (a bit of proofreading would have saved both that boy and poor Professor Flitwick, straight despite everyone else's thoughts, a great deal of emotional trauma and confusion).

So early the morning the end-of-year tests were due to begin, I was perched at the end of the Slytherin table, Disillusioned and clutching a bowl of lukewarm porridge I probably wouldn't even eat, I was straining my eyes to peer through Alex Nott's curtain of too-long dark hair that hung down as he leaned over the table a little, trying to catch a glimpse of the headlines on the Prophet_. _Finally, Nott and his curtain of hair straightened up and leaned to the side to grab a rasher from one of the serving dishes, and I leaned over to read the front page of the newspaper_. _When I saw the headline and black and white photographs gracing the front page of the Prophet, I almost screamed and revealed my presence. Instead I had a silent panic attack as my eyes scanned the rest of the article desperately, praying frantically that it was all a hoax, like that one April Fool's issue the Prophet had printed that had verified the existence of Crumple-Horned Snorcacks (that weird Ravenclaw Xenophilius Lovegood had cheered so loudly and so raucously he'd had detention for a week). I was so shocked that I could barely breathe.

_CRAWFORD WELCOMES NEW RECRUIT TO ILLEGAL GANG_

_We're all familiar with Daniel J Crawford's small group, dubbed 'Death Eater hunters' by Auror Alastor Moody, and we all know that they all have at least two things in common: all are close friends, and all were formerly enrolled in the Auror training program. Now it appears that Crawford's 'Death Eater hunters' may have a new recruit who matches both of these criteria: one Jonathon McKinnon._

_According to several anonymous sources, both within the Ministry of Magic and outside it, McKinnon, who enrolled in the Auror program straight out of Hogwarts, destroyed the Department of Magical Law Enforcement's investigation files on Harry Simmons and Daniel J and Jasper Crawford before going on the run and apparently joining the gang. Eyewitnesses were reportedly shocked to see McKinnon, a member of a well-respected Pureblood family, dueling a group of Death Eater's alongside Crawford, Crawford and Simmons. When representatives from the Auror Department arrived on the scene as the duel was winding down, several of McKinnon's former colleagues in the training program were able to identify him. _

"_Respected family or not," Minister Bagnold is quoted in her statement to the press and public, "Jonathon McKinnon is every bit as much a criminal as Harold Simmons and Daniel J and Jasper Crawford, and due to his destruction of important Ministry investigation files, is likely to face a longer sentence in Azkaban when he is apprehended."_

_Jonathon McKinnon graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry three years ago at the age of eighteen, having performed extremely well in his OWLs and NEWTs. Sorted into Ravenclaw House, he shared a dormitory with Harold Simmons, and the two became close friends with Daniel J Crawford, and eventually his younger cousin Jasper Crawford. All four played Quidditch for their House teams, and the older of the three: Daniel J Crawford, Simmons and McKinnon appear to have competed for the highest grades in examinations, all four eventually enrolling in the Auror training program. Daniel J Crawford and McKinnon were paired up in the program under the mentorship of renowned Auror Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, who was unwilling to comment on the activities of yet another one of his former trainees._

_Head of the Department of MLE, Bartemius Crouch, has also issued a statement regarding recent developments with the gang of 'Death Eater hunters'. "All of our efforts are currently being utilized to bring in the two Crawfords, Simmons and McKinnon. They have no authorization to duel with or kill Death Eaters, but as they have chosen to do so anyway they must face the full penalty of the law. My team for this case is working hard following up on leads regarding the gang's current and future movements, and I myself have become involved. Recently, I travelled to Hogwarts School to meet with Wade Simmons, younger brother of Harold Simmons, and Melissa Crawford, younger sister of Daniel J and cousin of Jasper Crawford, both of whom have assured me that they have heard nothing from the gang. My team plan to take statements and question the family and friends of Jonathon McKinnon in the coming weeks."_

I swallowed hard, a small part of my brain proud of me that my eyes weren't watering. I took a deep breath, at least my brother and cousin, the last family I had left, were still alive, and Wade hadn't lost his brother. That was when it hit me- Jonathon _McKinnon. _'_My team plan to take statements and _question the family_ and friends of Jonathon _McKinnon_ in the coming weeks." _Oh Merlin- Marlene.

**Sirius' POV**

James, Pete, Remus and I all took one look at the headline of the Prophet and recoiled in shock and horror. _Oh Merlin, her cousin, I'd bet. Oh Merlin, oh Merlin. If Bella, Cissy, Rudolphus, Lucius and their friends don't kill her cousin, he'll end up in Azkaban. Oh Merlin. _Similar thoughts seemed to be running through my friends' heads as well, because all four of us were identical pictures of horror, our frozen forms gazing over at the pale shaking form of our fellow Gryffindor. To our credit, most of the Great Hall, even the teachers, was staring at Marlene as well. To _her _credit, Marlene seemed to be handling the news as well as could be expected, a little better than Lissa had at any rate, not that you could blame the poor girl. I supposed Marlene had almost been prepared for this subconsciously, having experienced Lissa's pain and reaction already.

Speaking of Lissa (which, according to my mates, is all I ever do), not a single person had seen her since she'd been released from the Hospital Wing a week ago, or rather since she'd sneaked out of the Hospital Wing in the dead of night a week ago. Our end-of-year exams began in a few hours, and we all doubted she'd show up for those either. Only Lissa- beautiful, clever, sly, _broken_ Lissa- could disappear within a castle of approximately a thousand students and an extensive faculty of teachers and staff. There had been no announcement, of course, but most of the school knew that Lissa was missing.

Although maybe I was wrong in saying that she was missing- I mean, since the four of us and all of Lissa's extensive group of friends: Emmeline Vance, Alice Prewett, Mary McDonald, Marlene McKinnon, Lily Evans, Gideon and Fabian Prewett and Wade 'Asshole' Simmons, all knew more or less exactly where she'd been hiding- the Room of Requirement. Still, since she never seemed to come out, we could be wrong, so it would have been nice if Dumbledore and McGonagall had gone to a bit more effort to find her. You know, to make sure she hadn't been gored by a Manticore or fallen through a Vanishing Cabinet or stumbled upon a Portkey. A guy likes to know if the girl he loves has unwittingly ended up in the northern steppes of Mongolia, you know.

All twelve of us (us being us Marauders and Lissa's group of friends) had finally joined forces, and in the rare moments when James hadn't been staring moon-eyed at Lily and provoked the short-tempered red-head with his declarations of undying love (I'd told the kid there was a time and a place, while Remus, in the background, had rolled his eyes at the pair of us), we had actually managed to make a little progress.

Of course, I knew that there was something her friends weren't telling me, since they kept shooting me odd looks, and the last time a girl had come within a foot of me looking what James Potter (self-proclaimed King of Romance) had declared to be 'flirty' (not that I'd reciprocated- I no longer really noticed girls, and only then with detached objectivity), Marlene McKinnon had hexed her into next month, the exact amount of time, Madam Pomfrey had told Dumbledore at the resulting disciplinary meeting, the girl would have to spend recuperating in the Hospital Wing.

Not that any of Lissa's friends wouldn't have done something similar when we'd been together- they were fiercely loyal, as was Lissa- but never to such extreme lengths. Marlene was still doing detentions for that one, but had declared it to be worth it, shooting the rest of Lissa's friends a look as though she knew they would understand exactly what she meant. As if that wasn't suspicious enough, I'd seen a few of them- mostly it was Lily, Mary and Marlene- shoot Remus various looks from time to time, and vice versa, like they were having a conversation in their heads. I had determined without a shadow of doubt (I, unlike James was perceptive, and unlike Peter, much as I loved the guy like a brother, somewhat intelligent) that they were keeping something quite big from me, and it was obviously about Lissa. The only reason I hadn't tried to force it out of Remus yet was because, somewhere deep down, I was afraid of what it was. That she had never really liked me, perhaps- or that I had done something horribly wrong and that everything was somehow my fault? Some things, like what your mother really thinks of you or what your little brother does during his holidays, are better left unknown. Ignorance is bliss, right?

Marlene, white as a sheet and shaking like a leaf, leaned over and whispered directly into Lily's ear. Lily, who throughout everything that had been happening with Lissa lately, seemed to have become the leader of their little party, signaled to the rest of their friends that Marlene needed their help. With Mary and Alice supporting her and Emmeline and Lily clearing a path for them, the five girls left the Great Hall. I turned to James, white-faced in shock, as his kippers lay forgotten for the very first time on his plate. "Where's her boyfriend- Fenwick?," I hissed under my breath, concerned for our fellow Gryffindor. Close friends we may not have been, but there was no denying that Marlene McKinnon was the kind of girl everyone liked for good reasons. She was a good person, the kind it seemed a crime to hurt, sort of like Lissa. I stopped for a moment to pray that no other girl would ever hurt like Lissa was hurting lately. Whatever the full extent of Lissa's pain was, I hoped that no one would ever have to experience it again.

"He's studying in the library for the NEWTs with Longbottom, Harrington and the Prewetts, I saw them go down with their books," James answered my question as to the whereabouts of Marlene McKinnon's boyfriend. I nodded shortly, giving the Great Hall one last sweep with my eyes for Lissa before turning back to my breakfast.

I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing right now. When was the last time she'd eaten? Was she hurt, or safe somehow? Was she really in the Room of Requirement, or was she even in the school at all? Had everything I still didn't know about what had happened to her about her torture at my cousins' hands and the reasons for her brother and cousins seemingly insane rampage finally tipped her over the edge? Lissa was strong, the type of person that winced quickly then laughed when they fell over, but had everything stacked up and suffocated her? Was she crouched in some darkened corner in the Room of Requirement, staring blankly as her wrists bled out? Sure, she didn't seem like the suicide type, but who the hell did?

I dropped my forkful of scrambled eggs back onto my plate with a clatter, and reached into my robes to pull out a solid silver flask emblazoned with a carving of the Black Family crest that I'd taken it upon myself to alter a little (by which I meant I'd scratched out the family motto of _Toujours Pur _ and used my wand to carve _Gryffindor Lovers_ into it instead- immature and slightly lame maybe, but if my mother could see it she'd have an apoplexy). I unscrewed the lid and took a long burning swallow of the Firewhiskey I'd nicked from the kitchens. It scorched down my throat deliciously, and I smiled grimly before taking another swig. It was especially satisfying because, that night when I'd ran away and my mother had caught me at the back door with the family silver, I'd managed to save this by shoving it in the band of my boxers. The silver flask had been my father's, and I pictured with relish the moment Orion Black, asshole and Pureblood extremist extraordinaire, had realized that his disowned son had managed to make off with his most prized possession. At least he couldn't say much about the fact that I mostly used it to sneak Firewhiskey past McGonagall and Lily Evans, my mother had always been under the impression that the little silver flask my father had never been seen without was on prescription from Mungo's. Because, you know, using Unforgiveables to torture your son because he didn't agree with your ideals was fine, but alcoholism was more of an unforgiveable in mother's book. Sadistic bitch that she was, and all.

"Pads, Minnie's on her way over," James muttered under his breath, nudging me gently in the ribs. I hurriedly screwed the lid back onto the flask and shoved it back into my robes. Then I began to chug what seemed at the time to be a bucket of pumpkin juice in an attempt to mask the sharp smell of alcohol on my breath. McGonagall was only ten feet away when I reached forward for another brimming goblet of the juice (Pete's if you want to be specific), and swallowed the first mouthful so quickly that I choked on it. "Subtle," Moony sniggered, reaching across James to pat me on the back. I was spluttering and slowly turning purple when McGonagall stopped in front of James, who was attempting to surreptitiously nudge a couple dozen Dungbombs further into his schoolbag. She muttered something under her breath and waved her wand at my back, clearing my throat for me. I turned around on the bench, summoning up a hundred-watt grin I saved especially for McGonagall. I leaned back against the table on my elbows and flicked my hair out of my eyes. "S'up, Minnie?," I said in my best sultry voice, the voice that had made around two-thirds of the girls at Hogwarts to drop their knickers as their ovaries burst simultaneously (I solemnly swear that I am not at _all _conceited, no matter what Remus says. What would he know anyway, I'm much prettier than him!).

McGonagall didn't look amused, and her lips formed into a thin frown. "Very funny, Mr Black, but I'll have to ask you not to use that tone of voice or disrespectful nickname towards me again. Please do get a haircut, or if you wish I could ask Ms Corner to lend you a hair-tie?" I shuddered unconsciously, picturing the amount of STDs I could get from touching Rhonda Corner's hair products, not that I was one to talk, really. That said, I had been celibate since Lissa and I had gotten together, as we had not, despite what everyone else seemed to think, done anything like _that. _I guess I'd just respected her too much, but look where all of my attempts at being the perfect boyfriend had gotten me- dumped, heart-broken (much as I detested the word) and rather depressed at the unfairness of life, most especially mine, which rather sucked.

McGonagall took my shudder as confirmation that I would indeed get a haircut (as _if_) and continued on with what she'd had to say, pretending to ignore the Dungbomb hanging out of Pete's pocket and the diagram Moony had been sketching for our next plan. Secretly, I think Minnie actually enjoyed our pranks, but was too fastidious a practitioner of the stiff upper-lip to show it.

"Black, Lupin, Potter, Pettigrew, as I was about to say: I would like to have a quick word with the four of you in my office," she said sternly, glancing up and down the Gryffindor table as if she was looking for someone. A few seconds later she sighed and turned back to us and fixed us with her piercing 'I just _dare_ you to lie' stare. "I would also like to ask if any of you have seen Emmeline Vance, Alice Prewett, Lily Evans, Mar McDonald or Marlene McKinnon this morning?," she asked. "Professor, you know that Marlene's cousin-," Peter piped up, only to be cut off by McGonagall's vicious glare. "Not here, boys, not that. In my office. But have you seen any of those five girls? I can only presume that it would be a waste of my rather valuable time to ask about Ms Crawford's current whereabouts, but have you any idea?"

When it became clear that none of the rest of us would answer, Remus sighed at our obvious lack of respect for authority and took it upon himself to reply politely. "They were down here having breakfast, Professor, but they left because Marlene was upset about her cousin. And no, we haven't seen Lissa anywhere for about the last week, Professor, sorry," said Remus calmly, cleverly avoiding mentioning that while we hadn't seen her, we knew pretty much exactly where Lissa was at the moment. "Thank you, Remus," McGonagall sighed, "I'm glad that you, at least, can be sensible." I snorted at that, and both McGonagall and Moony glared at me. Guess McGonagall didn't know who had come up with that incantation that turned her carpet slippers into ferrets, then.

"Come on then," McGonagall said, making shooing motions at us, "To my office, if you please." We _didn't _please, but complied anyway, following McGonagall to her office. I knew the way like the back of my hand by now, could have walked the route with my eyes closed and hands tied behind my back. She settled herself into her chair behind her desk with regal bearing that could rival that of my bitch of a mother, and conjured up some uncomfortable-looking, stiff-backed chairs for us to sit on, which we did, if a little gingerly. They were _really_ uncomfortable.

"Now, gentlemen," McGonagall began somewhat wearily, as though the weight of the world was pressing down on her shoulders, "This isn't the main reason I requested this meeting, but it is quite important all the same. In the Great Hall a few moments ago, Mr Pettigrew, speaking the mind of all of you I'm sure, mentioned Ms McKinnon and her cousin. I would like to ask all of you to not let this happen again. I understand," she said, words punctuated by a sigh as she looked straight at me, "that the three of you are curious about Ms Crawford's…_situation. _All I can really disclose at the moment is that since you are clever boys, I am sure that given the time and eavesdropping skills, you would determine why, apart from friendship, as The Daily Prophet maintains, Jonathon McKinnon has joined Daniel James Crawford's little…gang, the reason Crawford started it up to begin with. Secrets. I'm sure that this all sounds very confusing, but believe me when I say that if you were to ever discover certain things, and that these things should become public knowledge, it would be very bad, Mr Black, for young Ms Crawford, so you must ensure that this never, _never_ happens."

My mind was buzzing, trying desperately to make sense of the mess of cryptic clues McGonagall had just come out with. She was afraid that if they were to find out why McKinnon had joined Lissa's brother's gang that they would also find out something about Lissa, something that would make things go very badly for her if others found out. It all sounded very ominous, and needless to say, I was completely lost.

"What are you talking about, Professor?," James asked, so shocked that he'd actually become polite, "How do you know about what you called Crawford's 'situation', and what is it? Please tell us, we have to know!"

McGonagall shook her head wearily, not even bothering to tell James off for his frantic rudeness. "That is all Professor Dumbledore has authorized me to tell you boys," she sighed, pushing her spectacles further up the bridge of her nose. I grunted angrily, cling to the sides of the chair to stop me from leaping off of it, grabbing McGonagall's spectacles and snapping them in half. _What did she mean? _Why _had _Danny Crawford bothered to chase after Death Eaters, and why had his cousin and two of his best friends seen fit to join him, risking their lives? Why did they think that it was worth it? What were these 'secrets'? My head felt like it was about to explode. I closed my eyes tightly, forcing myself to rifle through my suppressed memories of Lissa in a desperate attempt to calm myself down.

"_I like you, Lissa," I had muttered shyly, "I a totally non-friendly type of way." She had gasped softly, not with horror as I'd feared, but with delight. Then she had thrown her arms around me, stood on her tiptoes to place her lips at my ear and made me shiver. "Oh Sirius, I like you too!"_

"_That's me- Sirius, the Dog Star," I'd whispered to her softly, as I'd guided her extended fingertip to point at the bright pinprick of light my parents had named me after. She had smiled softly in wonder, turned her face to mine. "The brightest star in the sky," she had murmured, "Your parents were on to something."_

"_Faster, lads, faster!," James had yelled at us as we had sprinted around the pitch at a Quidditch training session, Jon and Annie had finished long ago, and the Prewetts had been miles behind, so far that James had given up on them. Lissa, flushed and a little sweaty, had panted out, "Can't…go…faster…Potter." James had rolled his eyes and had started yelling again, turning his back on us. Then Lissa had stuck out her tongue at him, her face had been so childish yet adorable. "Bloody…Potter," she'd panted angrily, but when she'd turned around she had only a blinding smile for me. She had been so pretty, so cute, so my girlfriend…_

"Mr Black, are you alright?," McGonagall asked, concerned. I nodded tightly, opening my eyes and relaxing into the chair a little, calmer now. Once she saw that I was alright, she began to speak again. "Now for the actual reason I wanted to meet with the four of you today. Now, as I'm sure all of you are aware, the sixth year end-of-year exams begin today, and they are necessary to get into seventh year. I am sure that you are also aware that for her own very private reasons, Ms Crawford has not been attending classes or speaking with any of you or her friends for some time. Private reasons aside, Professor Dumbledore and I have decided that as these exams are very important for Ms Crawford's school career, and as she will clearly not sit them as things are at the moment, to offer her an alternative. Ms Crawford is, as we speak, being sent a message offering her the use of a stock of glamour potions to conceal her identity so that she can take her exams under a new appearance. I have called you here to request that you do not tell anyone else about this, nor approach any student that you think may be Ms Crawford in disguise."

We all sat there for a few minutes, a little shocked. Remus looked like he understood where McGonagall was coming from with the whole 'education if God' spiel, but that was _Remus. _James and Pete looked like I imagined I did: shocked and slightly befuddled. "You may go now, boys, and remember, leave her be. Ms Crawford is already having a difficult enough time, do not make it worse," McGonagall said, dismissing us. The last bit registered as we all trooped out the door of her office. _Ms Crawford is already having a difficult enough time. _Clearly there was something bigger going on here. I knew that Lissa had been tortured, and that no matter what that was horrible and tragic, but at this point in the war she was hardly the only student who'd gone through an experience like that. The way McGonagall had been speaking, it sounded even worse.

I had the weirdest feeling that everything was linked- Lissa's problems, Danny's reasons for setting up a gang, Jasper, Harry Simmons and McKinnon's reasons for joining it. It was all linked, now if only I could figure out _how!_

**Soo… Sirius is getting closer and closer to figuring everything out! And summer's getting closer and closer as well… Thanks for reading, and please drop me a quick review maybe, inspire me a little? ;) Next chapter will be up soon **


	21. Leaving Hogwarts

**Hello! This is a pretty big chapter, and it's a little longer than usual. Updates might not be as regular form now on, because I start school on Wednesday and have some important exams during February and the end of the year, so I'll have lots of homework and study to do. I'll od my best though, I promise not to give up on this story (reviews do help ;))! Enjoy the chapter!**

**Lissa's POV**

I slipped out of Dumbledore's office, clutching an empty vial as I felt the effects of the potion that had been in it working on me already. The headmaster had been very understanding, even telling me that I didn't have detention for ditching countless classes and casting some rather..._questionable…_wards, but he had insisted that there was no way that I would be allowed to enter seventh year without taking my end-of-year exams. I thought that there really wasn't very much point in telling Dumbledore about Bellatrix's threat and the very likely possibility that I wouldn't be able to attend for seventh year anyway, and while Dumbledore meant so well, I highly doubted that he would be able to do very much against the Death Eaters without getting killed himself. Since even if I survived this summer I'd be dead for sure once I'd graduated Hogwarts, I thought it would be kinder to spare the poor man any guilt he might feel from involvement in my sorry little tale (cue the heart-wrenching sobs).

I strolled down to the Entrance Hall where the rest of my year was waiting for the second years to finish their Charms exam so that we could use the Hall for our first exam, . I stood a little apart from everyone else, not close enough that anyone would try and talk to me, but not far enough to be noticeable. I suppressed a small smile. This was perfect! Leaning back against the wall, I slipped a small cosmetic mirror out of my robes and held it up to my face, curious as to what I would look like for the next two hours. Dumbledore had given me several small vials of potion, warning me that they would each last only two hours, just enough to get through an exam.

I smiled softly at my reflection in the tiny mirror. My face was small and heart-shaped, speckled with golden freckles, less than I had in my own form. I had a cute button nose and clear blue-grey eyes that reminded me, with a shiver, of Regulus Black's. My now dirty-blond hair was cut choppily to about two inches above my shoulders, and I seemed to be even shorter than I had been before. I could probably pass for a twelve-year-old, I looked so little and cute. At the same time, I looked generic enough that I would be easily forgotten.

McGonagall emerged from the doors of the Great Hall, holding them open for the stream of departing second years. When they were all gone, muttering furiously to each other about their exam, we were waved in and seated at the single desks. The Great Hall was laid out in much the same way as it had been for our OWLs, but of course these exams weren't going to be quite as important. McGonagall waved her wand, giving out the parchment and test papers instantaneously, before turning to flip over the hourglass. "You may begin," she said gravely, and the first grains of sand began to trickle through.

I turned over the exam paper and took a deep breath before slowly starting to write. My wrist was still a little stiff from when I'd fallen on it during the Quidditch final, although Madam Pomfrey had healed it to the best of her ability it still twinged from time to time. She'd said that it was just something that I'd have to get used to, though, because it had been injured badly and that she was 'a Healer, not a miracle-worker.' It no longer surprised or disappointed me that Healers could fix all of your ailments, the Healers in Mungo's had said the exact same thing. The now-pinkish scars that snaked across the surface of my skin like spiders' webs were testament to that.

When Dumbledore had said only this morning that I'd have to take my exams, I'd panicked, afraid that I'd take one look at the exam paper and realize that I'd forgotten everything. I guessed it wasn't quite so bad, but let's just say that my sixth year exams would probably not be the high point of my academic career. Still give it two weeks and it wouldn't matter. My parents weren't around anymore to be disappointed by low test scores and grades, and I hardly thought that DJ had the time or energy to care very much either. And me, well I knew that if I lasted two weeks outside of Hogwarts it would be nothing short of a miracle.

I finished my test early, confident in most of my answers. Leaning back in my chair, I glanced around the Hall and the rest of my year. Sirius was sitting several rows away from me, Potter ( gazing dreamily at Lily) and Pettigrew (shooting frequent panicked glances at the hourglass) in front of him and Lupin (calmly writing what were probably long, perfect answers) behind him. Sirius seemed to be finished his test as well, since his head was resting on the papers. He seemed to be asleep, but as his head turned slightly in my direction I discovered that this was not the case. When I saw his face I nearly gasped with shock. Sirius' skin was deathly pale, and his eyes had bags under them the color of purple bruises and were rimmed with red as though he'd either been crying or rubbing them viciously. His whole body looked limp and exhausted, and a burning bolt of guilt shot through me at the sight, because I had done this to him. I had hurt Sirius Black: the man-whore, the prankster, the amazing Keeper, the charmer, the popular kid, the rascal-like kid always brimming with life and passion. Now he was as limp as a ragdoll, all the life had gone out of him, and it hurt badly to see him like that. Hopefully it would get better when he no longer had to see me everyday, when he would no longer be constantly reminded that someone he had trusted had turned away from him completely, refused to tell him why and was no longer capable of looking him in the eye. Still, he was the school's male sex-god, so I doubted he'd have much trouble finding someone to move on with. I just hoped that he wouldn't always hate me.

The exam ended and we all drifted out, most students headed for either their Common Room or the library to study for the next exam. I spotted Wade in the crowd, pale and weary-looking, muttering to Nate and Greg, probably about the exam. I smiled at that, for all of his protesting about it, Wade really was a nerdy Ravenclaw through and through. Then I stopped smiling, because he'd always been _my_ nerdy Ravenclaw, and now he probably hated me for everything I'd put him through. My other friends, too: Lily, Mary, Alice, Emm, Marley, Fabian and Gideon. I'd been so horrible to them that if they didn't hate me yet it was only a matter of time. I didn't know whether it was better or worse for them than Sirius, knowing everything that had happened- that my parents were dead and that Bellatrix had threatened that I would be quick to follow.

I shrugged off the increasingly depressing thoughts, reciting Potions formulae in my head as I made my way back to the Room of Requirement. Driving myself insane would do nothing for my already low chances of survival.

**Sirius' POV**

I lay my head down on the table when I'd finished my Transfiguration exam, glancing around the Great Hall to see if I could spot Lissa's new face. When Dumbledore had told us that he would be giving Lissa a supply of glamour potions, I'd thought it would be simple to find out who she was- just look for the one person in my year that I didn't recognize. Yeah, not as simple as that, apparently. Turns out there were lots of people I hadn't even known were in our year at all (unsurprising, since I knew exactly three Hufflepuffs- all past girlfriends, and six Ravenclaws- old girlfriends, Simmons and his two friends, Hughes and Abbott). There were two blond twins in the back I could have sworn were in third year before today (in my defense, they were about three feet tall and wore their hair in pigtails), and a tall gangly boy I'd thought had graduated three years ago (whoops…). I was sure that the only people who knew the names and matching faces of every single student in our year were the Ravenclaws, Lily Evans and Moony.

I glanced around the Great Hall once more before closing my eyes. I was so tired, probably because I hadn't slept properly in months. I knew that I'd gotten paler and a bit depressed, but I felt so worried and so angry about Lissa all the time that I felt like the whole thing was burning me up from the inside. I was worried that she might hurt herself, that somehow my cousins had hurt her irreparably, that somehow things had been worse for her than she'd accidentally let slip. I knew that there was something else, Lissa's behavior and McGonagall's earlier words had cemented that in my mind. I knew that the Cruciatus Curse (for what else could have been used on her?) was bad, but it couldn't be _this_ bad. I knew the side effects of the Cruciatus Curse better than anyone- the nervous tremors, the phantom pains, the awful nightmares- but breaking up with your boyfriend and friends and refusing to speak to anyone weren't among them. Something else had happened, and if I wanted to fix things I'd have to find out what.

Fixing my eyes on the trickling hourglass, I went over my options. I could ask Dumbledore, but he'd probably respond with something cryptic and frustrating. There was no way he'd actually let slip anything useful. I could ask Lissa, but previous experience had shown how _that_ would go. I could ask Remus, but I knew that no matter how hard I begged there were things the werewolf just wouldn't tell me. A while ago he'd told me that Lissa's friends had told him that Bellatrix, my cousin, had been writing to Lissa. However, when I'd asked what about and if it had had anything to do with me, he'd clammed up and refused to say another word. I could ask Lissa's friends, but it didn't take a genius to realize that they were the ones who'd made Remus promise not to say anything on the subject to me, so they'd hardly be a feasible option.

I thought harder. I could ask Simmons, if he didn't run a mile firing hexes over his shoulder every time he so much as caught a glimpse of me. I suppose that was partly my fault, but I just hated Simmons so much that I couldn't help but take my anger and frustration out on him, in the form of curses of rather _questionable _legality. So Simmons was out. Then I remembered that Simmons' older brother was with Danny gang, meaning that he was most likely privy to at least as much information as his younger brother. Then again, thinking back to how close the four members of Danny's gang had been at school: Danny, Harry Simmons, Jasper and Jonathon McKinnon all joined at the hip despite the fact that Jasper was nearly three years younger than the others, and knew that none of them would betray the other. I knew that asking one of them to share secrets about Danny and Lissa with me would be tantamount to just that in their eyes. The four of them were like brothers, much like Prongs, Padfoot, Wormy and I. I supposed I could always try and write, but if Danny hadn't replied to my last letter he wouldn't reply to another.

I groaned in frustration, my thoughts buzzing around in my head like a nest of wasps. I knew that I needed to find out Lissa's secrets so that I could help and understand things, but I didn't know _how! _I was running in circles, and it was beginning to drive me a little mad. I'd be as insane as my mother soon. I sighed softly, knowing that if I made too much noise I'd be accused of cheating via Morse code or something and get like a month of detention, as if I didn't already have enough of those. Oh well, at least that was one thing I could thank my family for: I was an expert at concealing things, especially feelings and emotions. Bella had never been very good at that, and neither had I really, not like Andy. Andromeda had been so skilled at it that she'd managed to hide her relationship with the Muggleborn Ted Tonks for two years. Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus hadn't put two and two together until the owl arrived with a wedding invitation. I hated to admit it, but I was more like Bella than everyone thought, and I was terrified that some day I was going to slip up and the wildness I held inside of me would escape take me over. Because no matter how far I ran or how hard I rebelled against traditional Pureblood ideals, I was a Black. I suppose that I was most afraid that out of all of my qualities and characteristics that that would win out.

**Lissa's POV**

"Alright, sixth years, time's up!," McGonagall said from the front of the Great Hall, her voice magically magnified, "Drop your quills! That includes you, Mr Pettigrew!" Peter Pettigrew blushed red as a tomato and dropped his quill as though it was burning him, before turning to stare at the top of his desk. In front of him, Sirius had his head resting on the table, the beginnings of a new habit, I reckoned. Most of our year was sighing with relief, we'd finished our last exam and could now look forward to a relaxing summer before returning for a grueling seventh year and the NEWTs. I wasn't happy though, and glancing subtly over at Sirius and the rest of my friends scattered around the Hall, I guessed that I was far from the only one.

McGonagall waved her wand and about a hundred rolls of parchment soared over to land on her desk at the front of the Hall. "You may go," she said, dismissing us with a flick of her wrist, opening the doors of the Great Hall with a quick wave of her wand. I was probably among the first out of my seat, time was running short, we left on the Hogwarts Express early tomorrow morning, and I had a few loose ends to tie up.

I quickly left the crowds of sixth years behind, breaking into a run as I made my way to the Room of Requirement. My time was running out, and fast. Once I reached the Room of Requirement, I felt a slight tingling sensation as my features became my own again, the glamour potion wearing off. I glanced at myself in the mirror that hung on the wall of the room that now mimicked my dormitory: my dark waves were back, long and silky down my back. I was maybe an inch taller again, my eyes green once more, my freckles once more stood out sharply from my sickly pale skin. Peeling off my socks and shoes and stripping down to my underwear, I saw with a sigh that my scars had reappeared as well. The pink lines ran over my shoulders, my back, my stomach, and my lower legs and my arms. So, pretty much everywhere, really. The scars had yet to reach that silvery, fully-healed stage, and according to the Healers in the Curse Wounds Wing at St Mungo's, they never might. I grimaced, pulling on baggy jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. It was disgusting, really.

I shoved my feet into a pair of socks and my favorite scuffed trainers and wrapped a thick fleecy blanket around my shoulders to stop my shivering. I suppose I'd lost a lot of weight recently, and was now constantly cold. I sat down at the small writing desk in the corner of the room and rifled through the drawers, pulling out several sheets of parchment and a Self-Inking Quill. I thought carefully for a minute, then I began to write.

§ § § §

The next morning, I woke early, got dressed and started packing frantically. I glanced quickly at my watch- nine o'clock. Shit, the train left in an hour, and I had to get down to the station as well! I abandoned folding and decided to just chuck everything into my trunk- closing books on pairs of socks, shoving quills into shoes, and balling up my best dress robes. It's not like I'd need any of this stuff ever again, anyway. When I was finished I cast a Lightening Charm on my trunk, threw on my cloak lopsidedly and dragged my trunk through the corridors, keeping a low profile.

Keeping an eye out for something, I patted the pocket of my jeans carefully, sighing softly in relief when I encountered the reassuring feel of the folded parchment sheets. I pushed through the crowds, keeping my eyes peeled for James Potter.

I'd spent last night scribbling out letters to my friends and Sirius, explaining everything I'd done in the very likely case that I wouldn't get a chance to do it in person. I figured that it would be easier to give the letter to James for several reasons- he'd know where to send all of the letters, I wouldn't have a nervous breakdown from the guilt at the sight of his face, and I hoped that as the bearer of bad news, James would be kind enough to do his best to soften the blow. That was pretty much all I could hope for at this point.

Finally I spotted Potter's trademark mop of unruly black hair. "S'cuse me," I murmured, pushing past a timid first-year. "Sorry there," I muttered shoving a tall Slytherin out of the way. "MOVE IT, PUCEY, FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!" I finally reached James, who was alone thankfully. The rest of the Marauders were probably lagging behind, and if I had to guess I'd say that James was probably trying to catch up with Lily, who was always among the firs tonto the train.

"Wait, Potter," I panted, reaching out to grab his arm. Potter whirled round, eyes going wide when he spotted me. I quickly let go of him and reached into my pocket for the letters. "I need a favor, Potter," I explained quickly, "Deliver these, addresses are on the back, for me please. Thanks, Potter, I owe you one," I said, shoving the sheets of parchment into his hand before beginning to move away. James just stared at me, frozen and with his mouth open in a decent imitation of a goldfish. I was about to plunge back into the crowd moving towards the door when Potter shut his moth and recovered. "Crawford, wait! Lissa…!"

But I was already gone. I pushed through the crowd and slipped behind a pillar in the Entrance Hall, where I shrunk my school trunk and shoved it into my pocket. I'd made a trip to the kitchens the day before, so my trunk was now stuffed with about a ton of perishable food (i.e. tinned beans and canned mandarins) and bottled pumpkin juice. Yes, I may die this summer, but I'll be doing it after one hearty breakfast. No better way to die.

I jumped into the last carriage leaving for Hogsmeade train station with a bunch of third year Hufflepuffs, all of whom shot me odd looks but otherwise ignored me. "So, Jason, I was wondering if you could…" The Hufflepuffs went on and on about their plans for the summer, and I got more and more bored. How bloody long did it take to get to the station anyway? I had just thrown myself against the side of the carriage, exhausted and hoping for a five minute nap, when a snap and metallic crinkle sounded out, accompanied by the tropical citrus tang of canned mandarins. Well, _shit._

The Hufflepuffs all turned to look suspiciously at me. "What's that smell?," a girl with short blond pigtails asked me warily. I smirked. "Dunno," I answered angelically. A scrawny blond boy who looked somewhat like Pigtail Girl narrowed his eyes at me, a spark of recognition following instants later. "Hey, you're Sirius Black's girlfriend, aren't you?" I sighed hopelessly, rolling my eyes and muttering under my breath abut "pathologically ignorant Hufflepuffs. No wonder some people thought of Hufflepuffs as cannon fodder? I mean, these geniuses weren't exactly furthering their House's intellectual reputation!

I fixed my face into a mask of disbelief. "Are you _serious?" _The Hufflepuff looked a little offended. "Excuse me?," he stuttered, face taking on a distinct reddish hue. I rolled my eyes again. "Sirius Black and I broke up a good five months ago, and although I know that your House isn't exactly known for its intellect, let me ask you this: have you been living under a rock since Christmas?!" Now it wasn't just the blond boy with a red face. The others were all pretty angry as well, their red faces clashing horribly with their yellow school ties and House badges. It may say something about me that, stuck in a compartment of angry witches and wizards, out-numbered about five-to-one, this was what I'd noticed. On the other hand, no matter how scary Pigtail Girl looked with he Gryffindor-red cheeks, she had nothing on Bellatrix Lestrange. Or Lily Evans, for that matter.

"Not everyone follows your love life, bitch," Pigtail Girl sniped nastily. I smirked rather evilly, hiding my shock that a Hufflepuff even _knew _the word 'bitch'. "Somebody learned a new word, didn't they?," I cooed, "Maybe you can use it I the company of someone who can't do _this _to you." With that I flicked my wand in her direction, transfiguring her pigtails into literal pigs tails. An improvement, in my opinion. "Toodle-doo!," I sang brightly, hopping out the door of the carriage just as it pulled up outside the train station, smirking to myself.

Since the platform was practically empty, I didn't bother with a Disillusionment Charm. I got onto the train, found an empty compartment, locked the door, and promptly slumped across the seat. I was asleep within seconds.

**Sirius' POV**

Moony, Wormy and I were lazing around in our compartment when the Hogwarts Express started to move. "Where's Prongs?," Wormtail asked anxiously, face pressed up against the glass. Moony and I exchanged exasperated glances, rolling our eyes at Peter. "I'm sure he'll be along any minute now, Pete," Moony said kindly. Wormtail nodded glumly and threw himself down next to Moony. He reached into his robes and pulled out a bag of Chocolate Frogs. "Want some?" Moony practically pounced on the bag, pulling out a handful and dropping it onto his lap. He then bent over his chocolate as though someone would take it from him, his face and defensive crouch somewhat wolfish. "You had to ask, Wormy?," I snickered as Remus shoved chocolate after chocolate into his mouth, until his face was covered with melted brown goodness.

Moony narrowed his eyes at me, mouth still jam-packed with Chocolate Frogs. "I like choc'lt," he muttered through a mouth full of the stuff, by way of explanation. I reached across to pat him on the shoulder, earning a scowl in return. "Trust me, Remus mate," I said with a martyred sigh, "We know." Moony scowled at me before turning back to his beloved chocolate.

Ten minutes later, I was bored to death. Wormy and Moony were still stuffing their faces with chocolate, and every time I tried to start a conversation with them I got a rather scary scowl in return for my efforts. For the love of Merlin, how dense did they have to be to realize that I needed a distraction! Wasn't Moony the one who had dubbed my recent bad mood 'Lissa-induced angst'? Now the formerly understanding friend was gorging himself on chocolate. He'd probably eaten even more than Wormtail, and that was saying something. When I heard a light knock on the compartment door, I almost cried with relief.

"Prongs!," I cried gratefully, dropping to the ground on my knees and grabbing onto his robes, "You've come to save me from these idiots!" James said nothing. I looked form, confused. Prongs was usually the first among us to fool around, but now he was wearing a serious expression. "Padfoot," he said in a low, sober voice, "I think you might want to sit down."

I complied, and Prongs sat down next to me. Across from us, Wormy and Moony were listening with rapt attention and curiosity, the chocolate, although smeared liberally across their faces, now forgotten. "_Scourgify," _James muttered, cleaning their faces, not that they noticed. I turned to James, getting more and more worried by the second. "What is it, Prongs?," I asked urgently, "Is it Lissa?" James simply nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out several folded sheets of parchment. He looked through them quickly, pulling one out and handing it to me. I glanced down at the folded-over piece of parchment. Written on the back was a name and address: '_Mr Sirius Black, Potter Manor, Hertfordshire.' _"Lissa's handwriting," I breathed.

James nodded. "She ran up to me when everyone was getting into the carriages up at the school. She gave me a bunch of these letters, addressed to all of her friends, and told me to send them. I don't know why she couldn't have just waited and done it herself, but…," James trailed off, watching as I turned the parchment over in my hands, running my fingers over the inked words.

"Go on, Pads," Moony whispered, "Open it." I nodded, sliding my finger under the seal Lissa had kept the letter closed with, and snapping it. I unfolded the parchment carefully, but couldn't bring myself to read it. I shoved it at Moony, who took it, bewildered. Wormy and Prongs both shot me odd looks as well. "I can't read it," I confessed, "Moony can do it. Please, Moony?"

Remus nodded solemnly, cleared his throat and began to read out the letter in a low, hushed voice. Prongs flicked his wand at the compartment door, muttering a couple of privacy charms we used often to great effect. I sat tensely at the edge of my seat as Remus read out the letter.

"_Dear Sirius,_

"_I realize that I have not spoken to you in a while, and I am sorry. I have also behaved very coldly and unfairly towards you ever since Christmas, and I would like to apologize sincerely. It seemed necessary at the time._

"_I know that you have had your suspicions, Sirius, and I know that you discuss these with your friends. I guess I don't really mind that now, so when you've finished reading this letter you can do whatever you want with it: send it in to _The Daily Prophet, _burn it, forward it to everyone you know. It won't matter soon enough anyway._

"_I want you to know why I broke up with you, I guess. I probably won't be seeing you again, and I would like your memory of me to be a true one. I don't want to be remembered as one of those hateful girlfriends, so here goes:_

"_You were right, Sirius, I was tortured. Over Christmas break, Christmas Eve actually, a group of Death Eaters broke into my house looking for my dad. They found us all- me, my mom and dad, DJ- hiding under the kitchen table. I suppose I should tell you too that you were right about something else- some of your cousins were involved. Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan and Lucius Malfoy were all there. I'm sure that you will be glad to know though, Sirius, that although I'm now sure Regulus is indeed a Death Eater, he wasn't there that night._

"_The Death Eaters tortured us one at a time, focusing on my father. Rabastan Lestrange especially. They all hated my father because he was Head Auror, and my mother because she was Muggleborn. You're probably wondering why I am speaking of my parent sin the past tense, although I am sure that you can guess why. After several hours of torture, the Death Eaters killed my mother and father, although both were so far gone that I doubt they felt anything at all. I don't know whether that makes it better or worse, but at least they didn't see it coming. _

"_DJ and I were left alive, and I still don't quite know why. Bellatrix certainly seems to hate him enough when she shattered the bones in his leg to powder. At some point, Bellatrix started to threaten me. She threatened James and Lily by name, for not supporting Voldemort and being a Muggleborn, and the rest of my friends by extension. Then, Sirius, she threatened you. I'm very sorry about this, by the way, but Bellatrix told me that it was Regulus who told her about our relationship. She told me straight out that she would rather kill you, her own cousin, herself than allow you to 'sully your pure blood' by being with me. If it's any excuse, that's why I broke up with you- to protect you, the only way I knew how._

"_I am sorry if I didn't go about it the best way, Sirius, but I had only the best of intentions. I am sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean to. It just happened, I guess, and I hope that you can forgive me. That's not all though, I'm afraid. I suppose that my friends have probably told you at least a bit about the letters Bellatrix Lestrange has been sending me for the last few months. Since I have promised myself to be honest with you (the least I can do, really), I'll tell the truth about those letters. Bellatrix has been threatening my friends and their families, so I thought that cutting all ties with them might make it stop. I'm not quite sure if it has, but I've done all I can. I did tell them everything, but that's different. When I was released from Mungo's I went to stay with Marlene's family, and she wrote to the others for me. I would have told you as well, would have told everyone as well, but Barty Crouch swore me and Wade, the only people aware of what happened as far as he is concerned, to secrecy under the Confidential Ministry Information Act, and we were promised that if we were to break our silence we would be thrown into Azkaban._

"_Bellatrix has also promised to kill me this summer, to put it bluntly. That was a big point in all of her letters. I guess she regrets leaving me alive, and my brother's gang hardly helps things. It isn't DJ's fault though, I could never blame him. I know that he never meant to hurt me, and that he's only doing what he thinks he has to do. I have given James a letter for him too, as well as for each of my friends. I can only hope that DJ, Jasper, Harry and Jonathon last longer than I will. I know that Crouch has promised to interrogate Marlene's family about Jonathon, her cousin, but as Marlene's family are quite high up in the Ministry that that will afford them some level of protection. I am sure that they will be questioned, but Crouch wouldn't dare do anything more to them._

"_I suppose that this is goodbye then, Sirius. At least now you understand why I did what I did, and that I never have and never will hate you. I'll understand if you don't feel quite the same. Also, since I won't be seeing you again I suppose you should know something else- I love you. I have for months, and I have known ever since you found Wade and I outside Dumbledore's office after hours. By the way, Sirius, Wade and I were never anything more than best friends. I have known the guy since we were six, and it is impossible in my opinion to love as anything more than a best friend a boy who once pushed me into a pond when we were eight. I swear that I never cheated on you, why would I? To your credit, Sirius, you were never anything less than the perfect boyfriend and gentleman._

"_Love always, _

_Lissa Crawford"_

When he was finished reading, Remus dropped the letter, and well all watched as it slipped through his fingers and fell slowly to the ground. I could hardly breath, I definitely couldn't think. _Oh Lissa. Oh Merlin, Lissa._

**So… thoughts? Sirius knows all of Lissa's secrets now, what do you think he'll do? What do you think Lissa plans to do next over the summer? Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and reviews seriously do make me write at least ten times faster! So… please review, long, short or just a few words. Next chapter will be soon **


	22. Desperate Races

**Hello! I'm so sorry, this is like a week late, but I have good excuses. Well, I have been suffering purgatory (commonly known as 'school'), lost my Internet for a few days, and only just recovered from a bad bug that made curling up and dying sound attractive. So…yeah. Sorry about that. To make up for the delay- an extra-long chapter! Yay!**

**Thanks to the reviewers for last chapter: **Frozen-heartsx**, **forgot to log in** and **Guest**. Thanks also to everyone who's followed or favorite my story so far- I really appreciate it, so a GINORMOUS thanks to you all! Hope you enjoy the chapter **

**Sirius' POV**

I sat, frozen, staring at the letter on the ground. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't believe or process what Remus had just read out. I felt the strangest sense of déjà vu- a letter from Lissa was what had started all of this, right?

"Sirius?," Remus' calm voice broke the silence, "Padfoot? You okay?" I took a deep breath, shaking off the immobilizing shock, and nodded. "Yeah, Rem," I sighed, "Guess I'll be fine." That was a lie though, I'd probably never be fine again. Lissa had just poured her heart out to me via letter, telling me that her parent shad been killed before her very eyes, that she'd been tortured for hours, that she'd broken up with me to protect me from my cousin, that she loved me…

Then the panic kicked in: my blood boiling in my veins and my pulse hammering like a jackrabbit. My head snapped up as I faced my friends, all of who looked quite anxious themselves. "Oh, _Merlin," _I breathed, "I am _not _alright!" Peter jumped a little at the tone of my voice like the jumpy rodent he was, but Remus and James seemed to read my mind, almost as if the contents of the letter were only kicking in now. "She says Bellatrix Lestrange is after her," James whispered in horror, "And she has no one to protect her, nowhere to go."

I leapt to my feet, shaking my head furiously. "That's not true, Prongs," I sniped, "She has me. She'll always have me." Silence fell momentarily, until Remus broke it in that low, calm voice of his. "You still love her, don't you, Padfoot?," he said softly, "I mean, you've said it to us before, but after everything?" I whirled around to face Remus, furious. "Of course I still love her," I snarled. Remus, the unshakeable werewolf, did not shrink back from me, but anyone else would have. Except, perhaps, for James.

"Then it's obvious what we need to do, isn't it?," James said urgently. We all whirled round to face James, who looked a little taken aback that we were paying attention to what he had to say. Generally one took what James had to say with a pinch of salt (for example, his dating advice), but desperate times..

"Well, Prongs?," Wormy prompted impatiently, voicing my thoughts exactly but in much more pleasant language. James started speaking immediately, reading my threatening expression perfectly. Speak or die, Potter. "We need to go find her. I'm almost positive she was headed for a carriage to the platform when she gave me the letters, so she's on the train somewhere. We can still catch her. And if we give her friends the rest of the letters, they might help. I don't think Lissa meant for me to send them 'til I got home, so they're probably her last words or something."

_Her last words. Fuck no. _"C'mon then, lads, and keep an eye out for Lissa's friends," Moony said, reading my mind. We all hurried out of the compartment and split up, James and I going one way and Pete and Remus the other, searching compartments for any sign of either Lissa or her friends. I focused mainly on Lissa, since James would probably be able to spot Lily Evans from six hundred feet away. True to form, it wasn't ten minutes when James looked back at me, nodding and waving me up to the compartment he stood outside of.

James was staring starry-eyed through the glass door at where Lily Evans was sitting cross-legged looking out the window. Emmeline, Marlene and Alice were all sitting with their boyfriends, and Mary was curled up on the floor in a nest of what looked like school robes and pajamas, fast asleep. None of them seemed to be talking, a rarity with this crowd in my rather vast experience. I shoved James out of the way, since obviously the love-struck ponce wasn't going to be the one to knock. I raised my fist to the door and hammered loudly on the glass panel, making it rattle slightly. Eight heads swung round to face me, not scowling as I would have expected, but as if they were nearly grateful for the interruption.

Benjy Fenwick reached across Marlene and opened the door for us. I nodded my thanks at him, grabbed James sleeve and tugged him inside after me. On the floor, Mary MacDonald started awake, and Lily pointedly ignored James' longing stares. I couldn't blame her, James could be very creepy at times. Then I froze. How exactly do you phrase ' your friend has run off to die at the hands of my cousin, but only after professing her love for me'? I remembered the rather legendary cursing capabilities of several people in this compartment, and let me just say this: I don't fucking think so. I rather liked my balls the way they were, and going on past experience I wasn't the only one, if you know what I'm saying. _Not the time for innuendos, bad Sirius. James is staring, Lily looks angry, and how much do you value your best mate exactly?_

"So, Black?" Emmeline prompted from Ian Harrington's arms with a nonchalant wave of her arm and roll of her eyes. I swear, sometimes I was convinced that the arrogant gestures of Emmeline Vance would have been enough to land her in Slytherin, if nothing else. I snapped my head up and cleared my throat nervously. Marlene, still a little pale but seemingly having bounced back about her cousin joining a 'criminal' gang, looked vaguely suspicious. James was staring, spellbound, at the spot where Lily's brow creased. I slapped him on the arm sharply to snap him out of it, and when he turned to me and pouted childishly I could have sworn I saw a spark of _something _in Lily Evans eyes.

"Spit it out, Black," Ian spat, earning himself a quick but passionate snog from his approving girlfriend. I rolled my eyes, Ian stuck his middle finger up at me and I decided to either start speaking or start running. Ian, along with Frank Longbottom, Benjy Fenwick, and the Prewett twins, had graduated, so he was basically free to curse me into oblivion if he saw fit. Guess which option I chose.

"Lissa gave James a letter for me," I spat out, not knowing how to word it, "She gave him letters for you as well, Simmons and Fabian and Gideon Prewett as well. I think you should read them first… It's kind of hard to explain." I nudged James hard in the ribs. "Give them the letters, mate, they're in your pocket," I hissed under my breath when the numbskull didn't respond to the subtle nudge. Seconds passed with James doing nothing (least of all handing out the promised letters to their intended recipients) but staring at Lily. Marlene McKinnon was visibly annoyed, the normally mischievous Alice violent looking, Mary anxious, Emmeline plain scary. Lily was the same shade of red that I, as someone who regularly hung around with James, was familiar with, so I couldn't tell if it was James' staring or the absent letters that were riling her up.

"Give us the fucking letters, Potter," Marlene spat out through gritted teeth, fingering her wand pointedly," I'm just _dying _to hex someone." I gulped on James' behalf, because the stupid idiot didn't seem to have noticed Marlene's words or her threatening expression at all. "_Letters, _Potter," Lily spat angrily, glaring daggers at a dreamily oblivious Prongs. I elbowed James hard in the ribs, not liking the look Lily was shooting him. It was the same one she'd been giving him the night of the feast after Christmas break, the night she'd turned him into a toad. It looked as though she was going to try and out-do her performance from that night. "Give her the fucking letters, Prongs," I muttered, to no response.

Then Lily _exploded, _there really wasn't another word for it. Next thing we knew, James had been floored by a screeching red-headed blur. Lily straddled a dazed James' waist, pounding his chest with her fists as hard as she could as Emmeline, Alice and Marlene cheered her on. Longbottom, Harrington and Fenwick were snickering at their girlfriends' behavior, and poor Mary was frantically scooting backwards on the floor, trying to get as far away from Lily's flailing fists as she possibly could, a corner of her mouth tugging up in the beginnings of a smile despite her obvious fear of getting hit.

"Get him in the throat, Evans!," Ian Harrington exclaimed with a smirk, as excited as I'd ever heard him. The boy actually looked kind of scary, if you were the type- his dark blond hair that had once been shaggier than mine or even Moony's had recently been cut so that, while still about as long as mine, was now less wild (it didn't take much to guess that the driving force behind the new hairstyle was Emmeline Vance); his slim yet muscular build speaking of the same wild grace as a jungle cat, coiled and ready to spring; his haughty smirk belying his inflated ego (one found out all about _that _after six years with James Potter); and his creepy dark eyes. It was a good thing that Ian Harrington had been sorted into Gryffindor, because if he'd been a Slytherin he would more than likely have gone the way of my cousins and become a Death Eater. As it was, I'd heard whispers of many of the graduating seventh years joining a secret society set up by Dumbledore to fight You-Know-Who, the Order of the Phoenix. Not long ago I'd been doing some homework in the library (for once, as a haughty Lily Evans had taken the trouble to point out) when I'd heard a group of seventh years discussing joining the Order, Harrington, Longbottom and Fenwick and Fabian and Gideon Prewett amongst them. I guess I had to admire Harrington now, or at least respect him. Damn it. Or… I could just join the Order when I graduated as well, and avoid all that 'respecting Ian Harrington' shit. Yeah! I'd tell James all about my plans for the future just as soon as Lily Evans finished pounding him on the chest.

"I hate you, James Potter, I _hate_ you! You're an arrogant, bullying _toe-rag _with an over-inflated ego who is _clearly_ compensating for his tiny _weiner!_ Bloody self-involved _toe-rag!_," Lily screamed, punching James on the shoulder. Prongs moaned, although whether in pain or sheer happiness that Evans was giving him her undivided attention I didn't know. Huddled in the corner of the compartment pressed up against Alice's legs, it seemed that Mary McDonald had finally had enough. "FUCKING QUIT IT, WILL YOU?!," the small dark-haired girl bellowed at the top of her lungs, brandishing her wand in Lily and James' direction and blasting them apart violently. Lily was thrown off James, landing in Emmeline's lap, while her dazed victim was sent thudding into the wall of the compartment with a groan.

We all stared at Mary in shock, even _my_ jaw hanging open in shock at the small girl's reaction. Normally Mary was as placid as a baby mouse, if that makes sense. Mary stood up, dusted off and adjusted her robes and turned to James with a demanding expression. "Well, Potter?," she asked expectantly, "Are you gonna give us the letters now, or do we have to set Lily on you again?" Emmeline looked on with a grin the size of China. "GO MARY!," she cheered loudly. Marlene, Benjy and Frank winced, covering their ears.

James finally seemed to snap out of his daze. He reached into his robes for the letters, grabbing them and shoving them into Mary's waiting arms sulkily. "Thank you," he muttered sarcastically. "No need to thank me, Potter," Mary said briskly, "The first Blasting Curse comes free. Second one's a first-rate twenty pence." Emmeline and Alice whooped loudly and Marlene reached forward to pat Mary on the back.

Mary read the names scrawled onto the backs of the folded letters and handed them out. She was left with three spare ones. I nodded at them, looking back to Mary with questions in my eyes. "Fabian, Gideon and Wade," she explained, shoving the letters into the back pocket of her jeans before sitting back down to read her own letter. I sat down too, fuming. Lissa just _had_ to write to Simmons, didn't she? The next time I saw the boy he'd be gifted with a new pair of tentacles, that's for sure.

I sat sullenly beside Prongs, who was also not in the best of moods (having the love of your life beat the shit out of you will do that to you), and we, along with Frank, Benjy and Ian, both waited for Lissa's friends to finish reading their letters. Bored, I started to flick James on the back of the head with my handily flexible wand. Ten seconds later I was smacked with what looked like a Potions textbook, and that was how our war began.

We spent the next five minutes throwing pieces of parchment, textbooks, quills and curses at each other as Lily led the girls in a chorus of angry screaming. "EAT QUILL, PRONGS!," I screamed, hitting James on the lip with a sharpened quill. Scarlet blood bubbled up from the little puncture wound, and James' face turned a similar color. "EAT KNOWLEDGE, MOTHERFUCKER!," he yelled, bashing me around the shoulder with a Transfiguration book. Ian Harrington snorted humorlessly at James' comment. Prongs and I forgot about our fight and whirled round to face the supercilious-looking eighteen-year-old. "What?," we both demanded simultaneously. Lily snickered. "So you do share a brain!" Ignoring her, I glared at Harrington. "What the fuck's so funny, Harrington?"

Ian smirked again. "Just thought that James' comment was a little too close to home, what with the inbreeding problem in your family and all." I snarled at him, the noise sounding even to my addled ears vaguely canine. "Isn't your mother my cousin Pollux Black's daughter?," I hissed. Ian leaned forward, normally blank face alive with dark, sharp fury. I suddenly understood why Harrington always seemed to be holding himself back a little- when he wasn't in control of his emotions he was wild, volatile and frankly, terrifying to most people. But most people weren't me. I'd spent sixteen years with Walburga and Orion Black, dodging illegal Dark curses and violent mood swings. Eighteen-year-old pissy assholes didn't scare me, or I'd have a panic attack every time I looked into the mirror.

"Fuck you, Black," Ian hissed furiously, dark eyes shining maliciously. Beside me, I heard the soft sound of James' nervous gulp. Glancing briefly over Harrington's shoulder, I realized that if he were to go for me right at that moment, not a single person (well…maybe Frank, but doubtful) would stop him. Mary and Lily were sitting cross-legged on the ground, eyes gleaming with excited anticipation. Marlene was making out with Fenwick, but wouldn't exactly have been first in line to defend me anyway, Alice's eyes were shining with wild excitement as she leaned against Frank, oblivious to the poor boy's longing looks, and Emmeline was on the edge of her seat with a passionately wild emotion swirling around in her eyes' inky-blue depths, every fiber of her being looking like it was on edge. Even with Ian Harrington, known around Hogwarts as being a notorious dueler, staring me down, I was more afraid of that wild look in Emmeline Vance's eyes, because the Gryffindor girl, while fiercely loyal to her friends and House and a gutsy prankster, had the same manically wild look in her eyes as Bella. And in the deepest darkest shadowy corners of my sub consciousness, I knew that I was like Bella too, the scariest thought I'd had in a long while.

"You should be so lucky," I sneered back at Ian, "But as I'm sure it's obvious, I'm straight." Then Ian snapped, his fist sailing through the air to hit its mark on my right cheekbone as his girlfriend cheered wildly, spurring me into action. "Hey Harrington, what're you playing—" James's angry defense of me was cut short by Ian's pained grunt as my knee shot up and caught him in the stomach, making him double over. Gasps flew around the small overcrowded apartment as even Marlene and Fenwick managed to detach themselves from each other for long enough to display their shock. Alice, Lily and Mary were all looking on with excited, rapt expressions, and Emmeline was furious looking, although probably not as much as her incapacitated boyfriend. "Sirius…," James hissed warningly, hand wrapped around my elbow, "For Merlin's sake, think about what you're doing before he kills you."

I shook off James' hand, growling furiously at the implication that Ian would beat me in a fight. My girlfriend was in mortal peril, my physchopathic family was the reason, and my little brother was a Death Eater. I could take Harrington, and even if he beat me into a bloody smear of pulp and bone marrow on the train compartment floor, I was so furious that I doubted I'd even feel it. Harrington straightened up, breathing heavily. I smirked evilly at him. "You'll pay for that, Black," he murmured. "Will I now?," I taunted. Then he pounced, knocking me over. We rolled around on the floor, oblivious when we nearly trampled over Mary and Lily as they scrambled desperately out of the way (not so funny anymore, eh?), throwing punches, kicking out at each other and gouging and clawing at each others' exposed skin. I felt no pain, only momentary stings as Ian landed punch after punch on my face and upper body as I did a number on his ribs. This wasn't about wining for me, it was about showing that no matter what, I would refuse to roll over and take it.

"ENOUGH!," someone bellowed from the doorway as it was thrown open. Shocked, Ian and I separated and leant against the seats, slumped on the floor as we winced from our (rather extensive) injuries. Moony stood in the door, sandy hair wild as though he'd been running hard through a tornado and thin face flushed with anger. I hung my head in shame, snapping it back up again the moment I heard Harrington snigger.

"We found Simmons and the Prewetts, Sirius," Remus explained stiffly. I gritted my teeth, nodding stiffly. Remus turned and beckoned the new arrivals in over his shoulder. Simmons, Fabian and Gideon all squeezed past Moony into the already crammed compartment, Peter bringing up the lead. Wordlessly, James handed the three boys the letters with their names on it. Simmons grabbed it anxiously, skimming through it faster than both of the Prewett twins could combined. When he was finished, he threw down the letter with a groan.

"What?," I snapped, angry that he wouldn't immediately share whatever he seemed to know. Simmons raised an eyebrow at me, shooting the wand I held in one clenched fist with bleeding knuckles pointedly. Growling, I tossed my wand over to Remus, who caught it with the east grace that comes with running around as a wolf once a month. "Well?" Simmons sighed before finally beginning to talk, reading the dangerous look in my eyes correctly. "Lissa won't be persuaded not to face off with Bellatrix Lestrange, even if we do catch her," he explained in a low, weary voice, "She's too much like Danny, too prideful. She doesn't have the sense to know where reasonable vengeance ends and suicidal tendencies begin. She's blinded by fear, anger and sadness, and she won't be able to think clearly."

There was total silence in the compartment as we all took in what Simmons had said. My heart started to flutter as the blood flowed through my veins at shocking speeds as I panicked, pumping out of my burst knuckles and dripping down my hand. I didn't loosen my fists, I didn't try to halt the now-alarming blood flow, because Lissa was about to dive head-first at Bella without caring that it would most certainly be the last thing she would ever do, and what did cut knuckles matter when Lissa Crawford would be dead? The world-not just mine, but countless other people as well- would never be the same again.

I'd only ever spoken properly to Danny Crawford once or twice, long after he'd left school and had met up with his sister occasionally on Hogsmeade visits. The first time Lissa had introduced me as her boyfriend, he'd given me a black eye. Jasper Crawford, three years younger although I didn't know him any better, despite the fact that he was only two years older than me, had hovered in the background and smirked as I'd fallen to the ground at Danny's feet. Even a blind man could have seen that Danny and Jasper, the only family of Lissa's I'd ever met, and to the best of my knowledge, the only family she had apart from her parents, loved the very bones of the small dark-haired girl and would do anything for her. Much like me, I supposed, but maybe Lissa just had that effect on people. Danny and Jasper would die as soon as Lissa did, and I didn't hold out much hope for her friends recovering easily either. Even Peeves would be depressed.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I leapt out of my seat and hurried out the door of the compartment, turning to look over my shoulder at the others at the threshold, exasperated and a little angry. _Angry is good, you can't afford to be sad. For now, angry is good, you can be sad later. _"Aren't all of you coming?," I demanded, clenching my fists tightly in frustration, still unconsciously ignoring the blood seeping out of my busted knuckles (practically a familiar feeling by now, to be honest). After a brief pause, Simmons stood up slowly, looking as though he would both like very much to burst into anguished tears, while also as though he was barely reining in his anger, presumable directed at my loathsome cousin.

Then Fabian and Gideon stood up, flanking Simmons on either side, and everyone else got up too. "Well let's go, then!," Fabian Prewett hissed, pushing past me and out the door. Not to be outdone, Gideon was right behind him, leading the others out. And while Ian Harrington shoved me very hard and very painfully against the doorframe, and Emmeline dug her pointy shoe into my foot, I got the sense that we were all very much united, in this together. I only hoped that it would all be enough.

**Lissa's POV**

I woke with a start, cursing myself for ever falling asleep in the first place. Glancing at my watch, I estimated that I had about three hours until the train reached London, by which time I had to be long gone. Stomach growling, I cracked open a tin of canned mandarins and dug in, scooping up the sugared pieces of watery fruit with the folded metal lid as I tried to come up with some sort of plan to get off the train.

I knew that there were anti-Apparating wards in place preventing anyone from Apparating off or into the train, and that there were no stops I could slip off at. That let me with precious few options. I could sneak out at Kings Cross under a Disillusionment Charm but in a crowd people would notice of something invisible and person-like bumping up against them. I could wait until everyone had left, but the train wardens looked through the train thoroughly for students that might have been left behind, or in the case of Davy Gudgeon in our third year, stuck on a luggage rack, and there was only a very slim possibility that I'd be able to sneak past them, and questions as to why I was deliberately lingering on an empty train were the last thing I'd need. I could try and Apparate off the outside off one of the train cars, but there was the fact that I couldn't technically Apparate yet. Since the Ministry had been under a lot of pressure lately, Apparition lessons had been held much earlier this year and only about thirty people had been old enough to be actually granted a license at the end of it. The rest of us had been instructed to show up at the Ministry over the summer, where they may or may not be able to fit us into an Apparition test. Guess who wasn't old enough to get a license until summer (not exactly an option either)? This girl!

I passed the next hour and a half desperately rifling through my various school textbooks, even trying 'Hogwarts: A History' (a book I hadn't even opened until now, a sarcastic present from DJa few years ago for Christmas) for inspiration. Finally I sighed in defeat and repacked my books and food and decided to change my robes for my Muggle clothing. I could shrink my cloak and slip it into the pocket of my jeans and possibly blend in as another Muggle street urchin in another big city. If only I'd managed to nick some Polyjuice Potion from Slughorn, things would be much simpler. Alas, I had not, and glamour sells were not my forte. Oh well, at least my brother and cousin would know for sure that it was my dead body when I was found, and I wouldn't be buried under a headstone bearing a stranger's name. Morbid, I know, but I'd always had a slightly twisted sense of humor, and it was better than crying.

I slipped on a pair of jeans just loose enough to run comfortably in in, a purple t-shirt with my name sewn onto the tag (for all sorts of morbid and idiotic reasons), the newer and less ratty pair of my sneakers- the ones with the soles still fully intact, and a warm navy woolen jumper, because by all accounts I was terrible at Warming Charms and had almost failed fourth year Charms as a result.

Then I shrunk my trunk, slipped it into my pocket, and slipping my wand up my right sleeve before slipping out into the train corridor. I tried to be as quiet as possible, because it hadn't only occurred to me a couple of hours ago that relying on Potter to deliver the letters by owl a few days from now was unwise at best, and Merlin knows getting off the train was going to be hard enough without being chased as I did so. I wandered aimlessly around the corridors, dodging the lunch trolleys and several enthusiastic first-years until I heard the first shout.

"LISSA! LISSA CRAWFORD!," a familiar voice came from the next train car, barely audible over the rattling of the train. I cursed mentally, knowing exactly who it was. Wade was only minutes away, and I wasn't naïve enough to believe that he was alone either. In that split second, I made my decision. The door at the opposite end of the train car swung open with a crash, the sound accompanied by several pairs of thundering feet, but I was already gone, sprinting desperately for the door at the end of the train car. "LISSA!" Sirius this time, his voice torn and frantic. It took everything in me not to turn around and throw myself into his arms, but I managed to resist temptation. "PLESE LISSA, FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN, COME BACK!" That was a Prewett twin, whether it was Fabian or Gideon I couldn't tell. Tears dripping down my face silently, I ignored the shouts of my friends and the Marauders and used my wand to unlock the door of the train car, stepping outside onto the ledge. There was barely any space between the door and the iron railing preventing me from plummeting to my death, and a thick knot of fear settled in my lower abdomen.

Heart in my mouth, I climbed the railing shakily as the wind rushing back from the moving train buffeted me in the face, trying to push me back inside the train car. "LISSA, PLEASE DON'T DO IT!," Marley yelled, sounding as though she was crying. Didn't she understand that I had to. "YOU'LL BE SUCKED UNDER THE WHEELS, CRAWFORD!," came the input of an ever helpful Remus Lupin. He was certainly right, if this didn't work I'd be dying a very painful death. Then again, I'd die a very painful death if I lingered on the train as well.

Trembling like a leaf and balanced shakily on the top rung of the railing, I took a deep breath and peeled my hands off the railing. Behind me, someone screamed. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes so I couldn't see the rapidly moving wheels of the train below me, and wrapped my fingers around my wand. My friends were getting closer, their running footsteps louder. They must be mere yards behind me now, I needed to jump. I exhaled, trying to calm myself and gather my strength. If I did this wrong I'd die a gruesome death, and it would be cruel of me to die like that in front of my friends (sound reasoning, in my opinion. Who wants to watch their friend, classmate or ex-girlfriend flattened under the wheels of a train?). My friends were feet away by the time I was ready, and I hoped against hope that either this would work or that they would be too far away to witness me being crushed.

"Please, Lissa, don't do it," Sirius begged, voice cracking slightly. The tears ran down my face faster and I gulped, readying myself for the jump. It would take everything in me to do this. Hopefully I'd be able to hex off Bellatrix Lestrange's wand arm or something before she killed me, maybe even take out a Death Eater or too. I prayed that Bellatrix's vendetta would die with me, and although it hurt even to think it, my brother's gang. When DJ, Jasper, Harry, Jonathon and I were gone, it could all end.

_I hope they won't hate me, for everything. _Then I hefted one foot onto the top of the railing and used it as a spring to catapult myself up into the air. I was thrown higher than the top of the train, but as the powerful wind began to suck me back down I caught a glimpse of my friends' pale faces. Sirius was screaming. "I love you, Liss!," was the last thing I heard, although I couldn't tell who'd said it, before I managed to twist midair, feeling the familiar unpleasant sucking sensation of Apparition, instants before I would have been sucked under the wheels. My world became a dizzying blur of colors and tears, and I couldn't think, move or breathe. _Merlin don't let this be dying. Dying is supposed to be peaceful, quick. Let this mean that it's worked, I need it to have worked. _I was trapped within myself, it seemed, for only a few more seconds, then I hit solid ground with an agonizing crash. Tears flowed down my face, I was alive. _I love you, Liss! _Then everything mercifully went black.

**Dun dun **_**dun! **_**So, what do you think? Where's Lissa ended up, and what's she going to do next? Will Sirius and the others give up, or will they go looking for Lissa despite the risks? Reviews help me write faster, so please drop me one, even if it's just one word or a smiley face ;) I don't mind constructive criticism either, once it isn't all-out mean or anything. Next chapter should be up soon, depending on how much homework I get **


End file.
